I decided that I could throw a big party to celebrate my 60th birthday, or I could take one friend with me to Cuba, and Little Peach was game to go with me. Well of course it wasn't easy — we're talking 2008 here — and our luggage never did arrive, but we soon met some interesting people during our all-too brief four-day visit. I remember, too, what it was like to travel with children, and I don't forget about golf. Oh, no! I also tell you about a night, home again, when the lights go out and we all get to enjoy golfing by sound. Is there a tip to pass along. You bet.

What were you in a former life? I was in the the library trade, and I still think books should be set free. So in the Pie Shop, I'm setting up some book-trade shelves, stocking them with my favorite authors like Dan Jenkins, who has given me many great insights over the years. I really think books do need to keep moving, don't you?  Next I introduce your second-cousin Darnell. Rememer how often he used to show up on the Montel Williams Show? Well, he's home now and it's good to have him back. Ah, yes, THAT Darnell. And finally, my dear friend Little Peach and I set off on my birthday trip to the Island Sound of Key West — or at least we will if we can ever get out of the Nassau Airport.

Why do apples get blamed for so much? Let's consider pomegranates for a bit. Then again, without apples, there would be no applejack, and without applejack, there would be no applejack pie, and that would be sad.  A recipe follows, something to savor as you think about the role of timing in your life, especially how rare a thing perfect timing may be. (I also wonder why Brad Pitt never aged in the movie Legends of the Fall, even though I refer to it as After the Fall.)

After the Fall Pie

First, buy a large bottle of applejack brandy, and prepare your favorite type of unbaked crust with fluted edges.  A 9″ pie plate should be just about right.

For the filling:

Peel & slice six tart apples

Soak apple slices in a cup of applejack brandy overnight, and maybe take a sip or two yourself, just to make sure it’s all right.

In the morning, cream 4oz of butter with 8oz of sugar

When the mixture is light and fluffy, strain the apples and fold them in.

A little lemon zest wouldn’t hurt.

How’s that brandy, anyway?

Cover with foil and bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes.

Feel free to have another drink while you wait, or go ahead and make the topping.

For the topping:

Cover the hot apple mixture with a layer of thin pomegranate slices

Whip a cup of heavy cream, then blend in 3 to 4 T of sugar and 3 egg yoks

Cover the pomegranate slices with the whipped topping and return to the oven for 10 minutes, or until topping is golden brown.

Garnish with pomegranate seeds.

Drizzle any remaining applejack over all.

Chances are, the applejack will have disappeared by the time you get to this step.

And just like Adam & Eve, you should probably go put some clothes on, too.

Did you ever feel that outside influences really disturbed your golf game? In this episode, I tell how the last day of the old Yankee Stadium affected mine, and how our resident feral green iguana Hercules affected my highly annoying second ex-husband Pretty Boy Boyd. You'll learn that I am one of those baseball fans who loves two teams: The Red Sox and Anyone Playing Against the Yankees. Plus I share a recipe for chicken parmesan pie.

Spawn of Satan Pie Recipe

Created in honor of [former] NY Yankee Derek Jeter’s Birthday
Ingredients:
3/4 cup ricotta cheese1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese1 1/2 cup cut-up cooked chicken1 1/4 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese1 clove garlic, minced (or use garlic powder)2 t fresh chopped oregano2 t fresh basil6-oz tomato paste1 cup heavy cream2 large eggs2/3 cup BisquickSalt and pepper to taste
Directions:
Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees F.Grease a 10-inch by 1-1/2-inch pie plate with butter.Alternate layers of Ricotta cheese and Parmesan cheese.Mix chicken, 1/2 C Mozzarella, garlic, oregano, basil, and tomato paste.Pour over Parmesan cheese layer.Whisk together cream, eggs, Bisquick, salt & pepperPour into pie plate.Bake 30 minutes.Top with remaining Mozzarella, then bake an addition five to 10 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Here you'll learn Golf Tip Four and ask "Whatever Ever Happened To Golf Tip Number Three and Golf Tip Number Two?" We also offer the history of Eggs Benedict—not invented by Benedict Arnold—give you a poem and remind you of that time you were happy just driving along and that certain song came on the radio to ruin it all. Here's the poem:

Peeled Onion Dream Pie

“Just peel the onion,” you told me. “Peel back the

layers and see what you find.” “Nothing,” I replied,

but I was wrong. Nothing was just what I found 

there at that very particular point in time.

Now I know an onion is full of space, and space 

of course is full of stars. So let’s talk about 

observation, seeing time move, and wondering when  

and how simple viewing snaked its way through

the amygdala to turn itself into critical thinking. 

To make this pie, I suggest you start out with one

perfectly large, unfathomably sweet Vidalia onion.

Peel it back until you all you can see is stars, motion,

and mathematics. Opine to your heart’s desire.

Percolate. Steep overnight. Reflect. And finally

inject just a drop or two of raw emotion to give it 

that special zip. Spread this filling warm over a thick 

skin of bread dough and caramelized minced onion.

Bake in a wood-fired adobe oven in the darkest heart 

of night just north of Nogales while you sing arias with    

wild coyotes and breathe in the same stars that I 

alone could not see inside the onion. 

Serve in a paper bag. 

Try to think your way out of it.

This first episode features an introduction to the book Slicing Heaven: Tales, Poetry, and Recipes from the Slice of Heaven 24-Hour Pie Shop and Driving Range, and closes with an admitedly poetic recipe for lemonade pie:

How to make Lemonade Pie

Take all your disappointments, sorrows, and grief

Soak in tequila overnight

Wake up wanting something sweet and crunchy

Find it

Mash it up for the crust with real butter

And extra cinnamon

Distill the liquid ingredients

Until you have something you can use

Fold in some whole organic eggs and heat ever so slowly

In time it will thicken

In time it will jell

Pour into the crust

And then, baby,

All you need to do is

Chill