If you want a long term partner you need to be testing for things like self-awareness, integrity, strength of character, consistency, and someone’s willingness to face discomfort and adversity. Surface level characteristics can make for an exciting and novelty filled beginning but they don’t stand the test of time, relationally. The reason why people waste time is because they don’t think they have time, so they commit to misaligned relationship after misaligned relationship rather than actually saving time by going slowly and actually vetting before committing. If we want depth, we have to live deeply and vet deeply. If we want surface, then live surface and vet surface.