Slow Deep with euni

Originally published, February 12th, 2025.

I’ve been posting ASK/TELL ME ANYTHING for a while now to my social feeds. It’s been something that has given me a great sense of connection + pleasure in a place that often makes me feel isolated and numb. Social media originally was designed to connect us, but the ways in which we now navigate news media, advertising, and AI in the social spheres, it has become for me (and I’ll say likely many others) overwhelming and uninspiring.

I love connection. If you haven’t been able to tell. And what I love most about Substack is that it feels fresh and the people here move with an open heart and curious mind. It feels possible to connect in ways I have not found on the most popular platforms. And, even more so, it feels like a playground. A place for trying and exploring.

So I’m going to attempt a weekly ASK ME ANYTHING podcast/video where I dive deeper into questions that come through from the collective + community. I’ll share what the initial conversation is in the post and I’ll hop on the Substack video to dive in in real time. This ASK ME ANYTHING piece will be unedited and, true to the form I want it to take, will hopefully feel more like an open conversation than a calculated response to sell you something (or anything). The intention is purely to connect, inspire deeper thinking, and to share ideas in dialog through this digital world.

These ideas, thoughts, opinions are my own unless otherwise credited and are informed by my lived experiences and influenced by my study, work, and mentors, and musings. Take what resonates, leave the rest. If you want to join the conversation - leave a comment below or hit us up in the chat.

Click the play button and let’s dive in.

From the notes:

It’s important for me to say and for you to understand that my skills and expertise in this work is because I do this work every single day with and on myself. I study + train from others work. I meet with a therapist, a coach, a trainer, and other practitioners. I go to classes. I practice + use somatic tools and refine and define them to be most beneficial for me. I have hard conversations. I hurt peoples feelings and try to make space for repair. I close my heart and open it again and again. I forget boundaries and have to create new ones. I cry, I rage. I love, I play.

I am skilled at this work not simply because I read about it. Or study others misery, pain or desires from theories and classrooms. Or even because I just hold space for others to work through their challenges + expand their edges. My expertise in this work comes from the ways I dedicate to being in deep relationship with this work, life + others. I am diligently learning more about intimacy + relationship through my own life in every single way and create the space to feel, experience, rewrite, and expand what I discover.

Stay connected with us:

LET’S GO SLOW. LET’S GET DEEP.Work with me:slowdeep.co

Instagram:https://instagram.com/slowdeep.co

Questions, comments or topic requests/suggestions: email euni at [email protected]

SLOW/DEEP is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe

Originally published, November 18th, 2024.

This was one of my favorite conversations. Michelle Renee is a well of knowledge and not only does so much for the intimacy community, but supports clients through really powerful shifts in their relationship and intimacy journey. This episode was one of the most listened to on the podcast and covers so much. It was through this conversation that I learned more about the asexual spectrum and began exploring more of my own sexuality needs, preferences, and unique intimacy personality type.

There’s something truly incredible with diving into conversations with people who are passionate about not only their work, but also learning. Take a few to revisit this fascinating conversation with Mischelle and let me know what you take away in the comments below.

Connecting with intimacy and expanding how we view, experience, and communicate sexually. We had a chat with Michelle Renee, a Platonic Surrogate Partner about the spectrums of sex.

SHOW NOTES:

In this episode we talked about:

• Intro - Meet Michelle

• Asexuality - what it is

• Surrogacy Partners - what they do

• Creating a nurturing space for a client to do the work that needs to be done

• The repression around the imperfections in sexuality and empowering people to find a safe space within themselves

• Betty Dotson and empowerment in sexuality

• Professional cuddling, platonic touch, and healing unhealthy past relationship attachments

• Betty Martin and The Wheel of Consent

• When to introduce touch and creating a safe container within yourself

• Feeling into a familiar experience in a new way.

• Exploring intentional connections and learning our own patterns and quirks

• Responsive Desire + Spontaneous Desire (Come as You Are)

• Creating space for an empowered yes in the way it’s needed

• The reality of how sex actually happens (vs. what you see on media)

• Reflecting on did I really enjoy this or did I enjoy the idea of it?

• Demisexual, sapiosexual and how we’re turned on from connection beyond physical attraction

• Professional cuddling and sex coaching

• Setting a foundation for sexual experiences that people can take outside of the room

• Clarity and setting a limits on what is a yes and what is a no

• Embodying your truth and allowing yourself to grow across a spectrum in your sexuality and in the work

• The evolution of self through self exploration

• Asexuality, fraysexual, compulsory sexuality, aphantasia, the spectrum, and what does that even mean

• Holding space for others and holding space for ourselves, ego vs. autonomy

Photo credit: Mr Arash

About Michelle:

Michelle Renee (she/her) based in San Diego, is dedicated to helping clients discover their true Self. From her personal journey, Michelle knows that love heals. Michelle has combined her 8+ years of experience as both a cuddle therapist and a surrogate partner to create a hybrid form somatic relational repair. She affectionately welcomes clients into her Human Connection Lab, where she supports them in relational healing through experiential touch, unconditional positive regard, celebrated agency, and authentic connection. She is also the founder of SoftCockWeek.com and hosts The Intimacy Lab podcast.

Find + connect with Michelle Renee online at:

meetmichellerenee.com

humanconnectioncoach.com

instagram.com/meetmichellereneee

Stay connected with us:

LET’S GO SLOW. LET’S GET DEEP.Work with me:slowdeep.co

Instagram:https://instagram.com/slowdeep.co

Questions, comments or topic requests/suggestions: email euni at [email protected]

SLOW/DEEP is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Audio engineered by Miko Aguilar, Music by Qolaj

SLOW/DEEP is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe

Originally published, October 24th, 2024.

What I’ve grown an awareness of that is more bitter than sweet is that it’s nearly impossible to take space for what we need in this life and in the world. In this present moment in time, the world seems to be spinning faster than many of us can keep up with. And many are struggling to ground into the every day world. Many of us are shedding and searching for what is coming next. Holding pain and sadness beneath the surface and putting on a face that hides the truth of what they’re confronting deep inside.

The blessing and struggle in this is a knowing that we are not alone. And a knowing that too many people are moving through the hardships right alongside us. And such is the human journey - a never ending exploration of change.

And we’re back live! Whew, the time away this summer was needed. Although I didn’t get the chance to step fully away and hit pause on my whole life - taking space away from intimacy + healing work really expanded both my perspective and my capacity. It gave me a lot of space to think about what I had been doing and what was it that I wanted to experience and expand upon moving forward. I held space for some shedding and healing and am excited to move into the fall + winter seasons ahead with more lightness and inspiration to really refine the ways we explore intimacy, healing + kink together.

There’s so much to tell you about. But what is at the surface today is to introduce + name the space that we all weave in and out of. The space in between. Transitional, liminal space. The place where we surrender to change, grief, shedding, and defeat. It’s the place that lives in the middle of what was and what is becoming. This is what bridges us in growth.

This is what we’ve been doing inside the Self Study Lab since 2019. Transforming over + over again. Leaning into our learnings and letting go of the lessons we have learned. Opening up curiously towards the unknown. Leaning into creating over + over again. We’ve been holding space for all to exist unapologetically and to deepen the ways we connect with ourselves + one another through friendship + romantic love.

Stay connected with us:

LET’S GO SLOW. LET’S GET DEEP.Work with me:slowdeep.co

Instagram:https://instagram.com/slowdeep.co

Questions, comments or topic requests/suggestions: email euni at [email protected]

SLOW/DEEP is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Audio engineered by Miko Aguilar, Music by Qolaj

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe

Connecting with owning our own sexual pleasure through solo sex. We had a chat with Jordan D'Nelle from the non profit organization, Something Positive for Positive People, a support resource for people navigating herpes stigma.

In this episode we talked about:

• The difference between self pleasure, solo practice, and masturbation.

• Importance of masturbation and the claiming of your own pleasure.

• Why do we maturbate, self explored benefits, and the balance of healthy and unhealthy practices.

• Masturbation for avoidance.

• Queerness, societal perceptions, and expectations on sexuality.

• Women, sex drive, desire, shame, and mix-matched libido.

• "Sexpectations" and externalizing expectations for fulfillment of needs.

• Why we have partnered sex.

• Mutual maturbation.

• Getting what you need and the orgasm gap in heterosexual relationships.

• Expanding what sex looks like and having sex for achieving pleasure.

• Defining and creating language for what sex is to you.

• Honoring what your body wants, not forcing for pleasure, and practicing self consent in solo play.

• What does it feel like when the body is inviting you in verses resisting.

• Slowness, breath, and taking your time with sex.

• Guiding into the body through breath and round breathing for awakening and expanding sexual and sensual energy.

• Hot take on sex and solo sex as a medical professional outside the office

• Stresses and different aspects of health impact, and seeing sexual health as an indicator of overall health.

About Jordan:

Jordan D’Nelle inspires women to find power in their sexuality and create a pleasure filled life in and out of the bedroom. She is a Pleasure Positive Intimacy Coach, Physician Associate, Sexual Health Educator, speaker and the Founder of the Vaginas, Vulvas, and Vibrators Podcast. An award nominated and top 100 Podcast. Her goal is to have taboo conversations about sexuality, sexual intimacy, women’s health and relationships that specifically affect women. She wants to help normalize women’s sexual health and create a safe space for women to feel validated. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health Magazine, and many other podcasts. In her 13 years of experience, she has helped many woman overcome shame and have better intimacy with themselves and their partners.

Find + connect with Jordan online at:

jordandnelle.com

instagram.com/jordandnelle

Free Guide to Foreplay: Foreplay.jordandnelle.com

Stay connected with us:

Show lineup: https://www.selfstudylab.com/sensoryplayspace

Substack Resources, Community + Announcements: https://sensoryplayspace.substack.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/selfstudylab

Questions, comments or topic requests/suggestions: email euni at [email protected]

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe

Originally published, June 4th, 2024.

What makes a relationship rich and sustainable? IMO - Space holding and reciprocity in relationships is vital. This has grown into something that is also a non-negotiable for me and admittedly as a person who has lived most of their life giving with a lot of pleasure and ease, and holding a lot of fear and refusal in the taking and receiving, it’s a dedicated practice that begins with how I show up with myself before I even connect with anyone else.

I remember hearing this quote from Brené Brown a few years back that softly stuck as a reminder to try to find balance in both the ways I connect with other, but most importantly, it was an invitation to dive deeper into truer vulnerability. Vulnerability not founded on agenda, power, control, or imbalances in reciprocity. This quote came back up recently in a book I’ve been reading, Claim your Power in the chapter on The Benefit of Letting Go. Brené says,

Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgement to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attachment to giving help.

I have experienced relationships in ways of connection with agenda more frequently than I have connection from a place of exploration, curiosity, creativity, collaboration, pleasure, play, and expansion of purpose + love. I have sought out relationships to fulfill my “role” of being able to take care of or fix another in exchange for love. I’ve experienced being pursued by another to fill the void of loneliness, to avoid what they needed to face, and to take in order to feel powerful to overshadow ways they’ve felt weak before. I’ve found myself in relationships playing out roles - mirroring the recreation of the ways I’ve felt unseen, unloved, and abandoned by the ones I loved.

The truth is, we all move through life playing out our childhood stories until we become aware of them. And in the moments that we do, we get the opportunity to slow down, take a look at who we’ve become over all these years, and to lean into our courage and creativity to create the life, love, and relationships we want the most.

Reciprocity has become something that has allowed me to connect, heal, reclaim, and release in relationships.

Reciprocity has created space for deeper and more fulfilling ways to relate build on a foundation of connection and not what one person does for the other.

Reciprocity has given me spaciousness to heal by allowing me to move through fears, insecurities, and provided ways that I could relax, rest, and use my voice to speak my truths.

Reciprocity has helped me reclaim agency over my entire self. Especially when connecting with others. It’s given me space to know that I can receive without being owned and give without feeling entitled to take ownership or expect in return.

Reciprocity has given me space to release past experiences that have become compasses for how I move through the world. It’s allowed me to soften, let down my guard, and release the protective response that often comes out as control.

Through practicing reciprocity as the foundation for relationship building, I have been able to experience more connectivity and intimacy and fulfillment in every type of relationship no matter if it is casual, platonic, professional, romantic, or sexual.

Have a listen to Episode 3 from The Sensory Playspace archives. Here I have a little chat about Reciprocity in Relationships and leave a comment in the substack post to share what you’re taking away. Share this episode with your friends/lovers/family and let’s keep the conversation going.

SHOW NOTES

In this episode we talk about:

* Relating creates possibility

* Exploration reciprocity across different relationship dynamics

* What does reciprocity feel like?

* Green flags in relationships and reciprocal connections

* Intentionality in connection

* Giving permission and leading by example

* Honesty, directness, and the courage to tell the truth

* Practicing active listening and creating space for really understanding what is being said

* Connection from a place of acting beyond the bare minimum, creating space for desire, pleasure and authenticity in feeling

* Allowing and creating space for self connection, individuality, and separateness

* Giving and receiving abundantly

* Permission to practice connecting and showing up

LET’S GO SLOW. LET’S GET DEEP.Work with me:slowdeep.co

Instagram:https://instagram.com/selfstudylab

Questions, comments or topic requests/suggestions: email euni at [email protected]

Audio engineered by Miko Aguilar, Music by Qolaj

SLOW/DEEP is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Sensory Playspace! So happy you're here. A little nervous chatter from euni to help you settle in.

Stay connected with us:

Show notes: https://www.selfstudylab.com/sensoryplayspace

Substack - Resources, Community + Announcements: https://sensoryplayspace.substack.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/selfstudylab

Questions, comments or topic requests/suggestions: email euni at [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe

The time has come for Sensory Playspace to take a beat. I’ve been contemplating what it is and what it would be to “rebrand” for a while and I’m ready to take the leap. We’re moving towards what feels more authentic, expressed, and expansive of the magnitude of my artistry in it’s truest forms.

I’ll be over the next week or so rebranding the digital spaces to build the foundation for SLOW DEEP to come to light. Some things to look out for:

* The podcast will be relaunched with the new name. We’ll run episodes pretty quickly as we work our way through the pre-season episodes that were created on Sensory Playspace. The new season will begin early fall.

* I’ll be sharing more frequently with audio notes + youtube to explore more audio and video creation and expression alongside my essay and educational writing.

* I’m finding braver ways to intermix my art in every form and releasing the pressure to be a brand or do good marketing or make perfect things to keep up with the demands of content, favortism, algorithms, and being click bait. I want to devote my time to creating what feels curious, true, interesting, and real.

* Although I will always go through spurts of creating often and then moment where I barely create, I want to center opening towards prioritizing feeling truer in the ways I am creating and connecting in what I expand into the world - including, and especially within the digital spaces and the places that I create to share with all of you.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for experiencing, exploring + opening up to curiosity and the desires to slow down and go deeper - even in this face paced digital space.

with love,euni

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe

For the sake of letting my mind experiment with expression through words verses the tips of my fingers for a while. I have been thinking for a few weeks now how I wanted to end a lot of things. Pivot, create shifts, open up towards more.

Every day that has passed has pushed me deeper into myself. Into my insides. Held me more honestly in softness and compassion that I didn’t think I needed or even knew. A salve that was created for holding us through deep loss, transition, and griefs.

I have been wondering in so many ways - how much longer until I can settle into becoming the most of myself. Will I ever be fully expressed in all that I am. Will I always hold myself in a form of filtering just to ensure I make it through. Just to make sure I get by.

My dad always says things like enough to survive. Because he has a sense of peace and comfort with survival. With being close to that edge. He has lived a different life than me. And is paving the lines for a different path. So sometimes the ways in which I experienced knowing how to feel peace is so different than his. Because my peace comes from giving my soul a space to feel into this human experience. My peace comes from my ability to dream and express and experience deeply.

If I examine from many angles, I’m certain I will find clinging within the last sentences that I just wrote. But in this moment, I am okay with that. Not a clinging from a place of ownership or control. But a deep deep knowing that I want to experience more. To feel into another sense of knowing and existing that I haven’t quite yet. There’s this way that I feel content with my commitment to living more fully by opening my heart wider and letting intimacy become my guiding point through life.

It feels scary. Honestly, a little unhinged. But what else are we going to do if we don’t let our hearts take the stage and become the main character in this play that we call our life? So, even if it doesn’t make it past the first season - I am going to practice in that space with all of you for a little bit.

These last few months I’ve learned through the language of my body about love in a whole new way. Some things my body had to say to me:

• When euphoria is reached, it’s impossible to not let the tears freely fall from my eyes.

• Love really only looks like being present with whatever is right in front of you and allowing vulnerability to peel back the layers that give you armor to guard your heart.

• Love can find and hold patience through chaos of fear and shame.

• Time doesn’t determine depth in love.

• Love can carry intimacy across many chapters of life and all the ways in which relationships find new shapes.

• It doesn’t matter what we decide to do with our time - we’’ll never be able to escape the force of being called to intimately know, express, and become our most authentic self.

• Intimacy isn’t performed. It’s not forceable. It just happens when we are not trying. When we stop responding. When we quit performing. When we are just existing with all of our fears, failures, desires, and insecurities laying out on the table to be seen. It’s in the ways in which we open up wider to another and give them glimpses of who we are at a deeper level, body-mind-heart-soul. And how we ponder the things we hear from the other and instead of losing, we become more of ourselves.

• Love is leaving space between others and deepening the space experienced within self.

• Intimacy is knowing what it is to be comfortably settled and find stillness in being uncomfortable without needing to create chaos purely for the sake of control. It’s finding practice and routine in the mundane every day things and pleasure in the subtleties that exist in every day life and the moments that happen naturally purely because we soften into allowing ourselves to experience feeling and a bravery to say yes over and over again.

This weekend (Saturday, 10:30am PT) I reopen the digital doors to INBODY LAB Group Mentorship. I’ve moved it to the Substack + it’s accessible for our paid subscribers. It’s the space where you’ll find all the mindmaps, blueprints, meditations, frameworks, and replays of the live labs. It feels special to share this with you. Not from a place of survival or even security through the collection of financial resources. But as a way to been in deep reciprocity, mirroring, and commitment to one another in exploration and depth within intimacy.

Thanks for riffing + mindspining with me.

A Place to Become:

We’re charging ahead with the vision to open our physical space this coming summer! We’ve begun the process to make this possible and your help and support will be an intricate part of making this a reality. This studio will be unlike any other place you’ve experienced and will be a place for this work, our collective groups, and greater visions to evolve, become, and belong. Each month we’ll share more about the progress, plans, and sticking points so that you can be involved every step of the way. Profits, donations, and contributions collected through Self Study will go towards the bringing this space from a dream into reality.

Love this work? Help us open our physical space summer 2025!

* Join the Sensory Playspace community on Substack and subscribe to receive posts directly to your inbox.Subscribe here:

* Contribute to the Go Fund Me: https://gofund.me/fd148755

* Book a session: http://selfstudylab.com/sessions

* Attend a class, workshop or lab: http://selfstudylab.com/classes

Find/follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/selfstudylab

Questions, comments or topic requests/suggestions: email euni at [email protected]

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe

This episode we dip our toes into they ways the body responds to stress, trauma, and shame show up in the body and impact one's sexuality. We discuss various aspects of women's health, including the impact of trauma, the importance of self-discovery, and the connection between physical and emotional well-being.

This conversation touched on topics such as sexual expression, intimacy, and the significance of building a healthy relationship with one's body, while also addressing common health issues and the need for community support in navigating these areas.

SHOW NOTES:

• Intro: Meet Brittney

• Physical connection to the body

• Pelvic floor issues and sexuality

• Self discovery and body connection

• Pelvic floor issues and understanding connection with the body

• Sexuality and periods

• Emotional safety and physical intimacy

• Hormonal birth control and the impacts on mental health

• Trauma, the bodies response to it

• High desire for sex and self fulfillment

• Understanding one's bodily functions in relation to the bladder and the pelvic floor

• Stress, emotions + energetic stories and the connection to the pelvis

• Learning about the body and navigating shame, grief, sadness, and anger

• Relationship to anger and rage

• Trauma stored in the body

• Pain, infections, irritations, surgery, scars, urgency, hip pain, reproductive issues, and discomforts in the pelvic area and taking care of the body as a preventative method

• Claiming your power and surrendering into self compassion and the reality of what is

•  TTC, pregnancy, pressures on sex + timing, and accepting the course

• The ways we build a connection with our bodies creates opening

• Intimacy in every form and connectivity to the body

• Showing up for self with open curiosity, presence, and availability to hear bodies expressions

• Merging of wellness from a holistic lens and rituals around navigating sexual expressions

• Play vs. performance and pace

• Resistance and self pleasure

• Experimentation and sex lab

• The healing impacts of being messy

• Beginning to build better body liberation, agency + choice

Get full access to Sensory Playspace by Self Study at sensoryplayspace.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe

Let's dive into one of our favorite topics: intimacy, pleasure, and play. euni dissects one of her signature classes + workshops and the foundation of what it is all about. Come drop in with us and open space for exploration, self-discovery, and living more intimate, pleasure centered, and playful lives in every possible way.

Get full access to Sensory Playspace by Self Study at sensoryplayspace.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to SLOW/DEEP at slowdeep.substack.com/subscribe