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Small Church, Big Dreams: How Christian Singles Can Expand Their Dating Pool
"I'd like to start dating again, but my church has very few singles my age. I live an hour from the city, so events take planning. Dating within my congregation.... feels risky, specially if it doesn't work out."This message from Martha captures what I hear from Christian singles every week.
Your dating pool feels impossibly small. I get it.
But here's what I've learned coaching believers for years: Small pools require smart strategy + trust.
1. Mindset First – Shift the focus from "finding the one" to "becoming the right one." When you're rooted in Christ, you attract healthier connections. If you want to attract the Proverbs 31 woman, then become the Proverbs 1-30 man (& vice versa)
2. Leverage the Digital Tools (Wisely) – Apps aren’t your enemy. Apps like Upward, Hinge, Bumble, Christian Mingle, eHarmony and others are where many believers meet today. Use them as introductions, not destinations. Be clear and upfront about your faith, location, and your must-haves.
3. Expand Beyond Your Church Walls – Join Christian Facebook groups, attend a young adult event at another (bigger)church, volunteer at a Christian non-profit, or even go on a short-term mission trip. As one couple shared: "We met serving at a church plant. Our communities only merged once things got serious."
💡 Practical Tips/ Action Plan: 1. Download two christian apps and create thoughtful profiles.
2. Join One: Find and join one large Facebook Group for Christian singles in your region.
3. Tell Three trusted people in your life that you're open to being set up. Vetted connections often lead to the strongest matches.
4. Find One Event or volunteering opportunity at a larger church in the city next month and put it on your calendar.
This season may feel like scarcity, but in reality, it's about stewardship: putting yourself in the right environments, taking faithful action while trusting God's timing.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit equallyyoked.substack.com
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By By Matrimony Station"I'd like to start dating again, but my church has very few singles my age. I live an hour from the city, so events take planning. Dating within my congregation.... feels risky, specially if it doesn't work out."This message from Martha captures what I hear from Christian singles every week.
Your dating pool feels impossibly small. I get it.
But here's what I've learned coaching believers for years: Small pools require smart strategy + trust.
1. Mindset First – Shift the focus from "finding the one" to "becoming the right one." When you're rooted in Christ, you attract healthier connections. If you want to attract the Proverbs 31 woman, then become the Proverbs 1-30 man (& vice versa)
2. Leverage the Digital Tools (Wisely) – Apps aren’t your enemy. Apps like Upward, Hinge, Bumble, Christian Mingle, eHarmony and others are where many believers meet today. Use them as introductions, not destinations. Be clear and upfront about your faith, location, and your must-haves.
3. Expand Beyond Your Church Walls – Join Christian Facebook groups, attend a young adult event at another (bigger)church, volunteer at a Christian non-profit, or even go on a short-term mission trip. As one couple shared: "We met serving at a church plant. Our communities only merged once things got serious."
💡 Practical Tips/ Action Plan: 1. Download two christian apps and create thoughtful profiles.
2. Join One: Find and join one large Facebook Group for Christian singles in your region.
3. Tell Three trusted people in your life that you're open to being set up. Vetted connections often lead to the strongest matches.
4. Find One Event or volunteering opportunity at a larger church in the city next month and put it on your calendar.
This season may feel like scarcity, but in reality, it's about stewardship: putting yourself in the right environments, taking faithful action while trusting God's timing.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit equallyyoked.substack.com