In this deeply moving episode, Gabriella sits down with two friends who both lost their spouses far too early in life. This conversation really dives into what it really means to keep living after profound loss. With honesty, vulnerability, and quiet strength, they share how grief shows up in their everyday lives; from navigating routines and relationships to finding meaning, resilience, and moments of light amid the pain. This conversation doesn't shy away from the heaviness of loss, but it also honors the courage it takes to move forward, offering listeners a compassionate and human look at love, sorrow, and survival. Enjoy!

I'm really excited to kind of kick off this podcast journey on Smartercast with Peter, because I couldn't think of a better person who embodies all of the things that I want to accomplish with these chats. Part of the reason I wanted to do this was to take people that are really, really smart at something, really brilliant at something, share them with everybody else, and hopefully they'll be able to pick up some of the things from these people that I have been able to pick up along the way. So I pick up a lot of things from Peter every day of my life, and I know that this channel will kind of make you think about things a little bit differently. So I was thinking how I wanted to start this because with, you know, within Peter's case, he's so many things, and there's so much accomplishment behind him and still yet to come, but I think a lot of those things stem from the fact that he has ADHD, and he's been really open about that, so I think that that's probably the best way to sort of start this chat and to talk about all of the ways that that has helped him in his life.

Smartercast S1E1 — Peter Shankman on ADHD, Routines, and Relationships [[Smartercast_S1_E1_GO](https://otter.ai/u/nB20OdXmnZ4qUQvNIlUgEfyuvDg)]

- Host: Gabriela Ribeiro (GR)

- Guest: Peter Shankman (PS) — author, speaker, entrepreneur, ADHD advocate

- Theme: Reframing ADHD as a strength, building systems, managing highs/lows, and relationship dynamics

0:01:48 — Intro and welcome Peter Shankman!

0:01:48 — Daily context

0:02:24 — Discovering ADHD and early years

School experiences, mislabeling as "disruptive," and late diagnosis in mid-30s after a therapist's assessment. Realization that "weird" habits were self-medicating (e.g., early workouts for chemical balance)

0:04:45 — Letting go of outside judgment

Moving past imposter syndrome and "reading the comments"; prioritizing routines that make you your best self.

0:06:25 — What ADHD feels like day-to-day

"Everything or nothing is exciting": the rabbit-hole morning and the need for rules and structure. Systems: 4:00 a.m. lights, immediate Peloton ride, simplified wardrobe to reduce decision fatigue; working outside the home to reduce distractions.

0:10:31 — Risk, creativity, and taking swings

Seeking acceptance vs. the courage to try; the "highway of life" is littered with unattempted ideas (bubble tea story). Decision rule: If it doesn't land you in jail or worse, try it—learn from failure

0:13:35 — Defining a "good day"

Entrepreneurship's ebb and flow; the need for daily forward motion to offset imposter syndrome.

0:16:12 — Managing lows and avoiding spirals

"Guardrails" approach: if sales or deals fall through, default to controllables (gym, healthy meal, focused tasks) to prevent cascading decisions.

0:18:28 — Partnering with someone who's neurodiverse

How to support: listen before giving notes; provide bounded choices (e.g., "pizza, Chinese, or Italian?") to avoid overwhelm. Anecdotes: the infamous colonic "date," White Castle Valentine's lesson—intention vs. impact and embracing "the crazy" with boundaries.

0:25:52 — Travel as medicine

Planes as deep-focus environments; dopamine from transit and novelty; "the journey is the destination"

0:27:50 — Conflict, accountability, and timing

When ADHD folks already know they messed up: give space; avoid puncturing the "emotional dam" in the first moments; schedule clarity helps (calendar invites)

0:31:51 — Books and reframing ADHD

Faster Than Normal: systems that transform ADHD from curse to gift; why "the only winning move is often not to play" with certain triggers (e.g., alcohol).

0:35:34 — What's next!?

0:37:05 — Connect with Peter - [email protected] via his site; socials at @petershankman (except Twitter)

Quotes:

- "Everything or nothing is exciting." [0:06:42, [Smartercast_S1_E1_GO](https://otter.ai/u/nB20OdXmnZ4qUQvNIlUgEfyuvDg)]

- "The only winning move is often not to play." (on avoiding trigger scenarios) [0:33:40–0:34:40, [Smartercast_S1_E1_GO](https://otter.ai/u/nB20OdXmnZ4qUQvNIlUgEfyuvDg)]

- "The journey is the destination." [0:25:52–0:27:50, [Smartercast_S1_E1_GO](https://otter.ai/u/nB20OdXmnZ4qUQvNIlUgEfyuvDg)]

Resources Mentioned

- Book: Faster Than Normal (Peter Shankman)

- Peter's site/socials for contact and speaking [email protected] via his site; socials at @petershankman

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