Smeared Mascara

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Yes, it’s another episode of the highly loved and under-sponsored podcast, Smeared Mascara.

This week the slaydies ki-ki about homeschooling moms, Trump TV, youth basketball, and the Ed Sheeran debacle. (If you’re a Sheeran-ator, please weigh in)

Brooke and Mandy are going through some shizz right now. The homies in the age group know what’s up. The hormone levels are dropping almost as fast as they’re dropping friends, associates, and acquaintances. 

So buckle up, hydrate and moisturize because the episode drops NOW!

Rated WCTB for We Choose The Bear 

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The hoochie mamas are back and ready to entertain! 

Brooke gives us the 411 on the Lindsay Clancy trial, Bama Rush Tok, and our independent news angel Aaron Parnas.  There’s also mention of an avoided cooch catastrophe. 

Mandy describes her astrological disappointments, family miscommunication, and surviving an Oakland estuary boat ride. 

Disclaimer: At the time of recording, there was still no sign of Mitch aka Hot Wheels 2.0 who throws up the peace sign like his soul depends on it. 

Rated RTV for Register to Vote 

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Welcome back to your favorite unhinged pop culture podcast. This episode starts off strong with boofing. Not sure what it is? Clench those booty checks because you’re gonna learn today. 

The ladies provide some parenting advice per a listener’s request. Disclaimer: Brooke and Mandy are far from perfect parents and certainly aren’t experts. Please consult professionals for serious parenting concerns. You’re welcome. 

Concert venues are discussed. Yes, there is a time in one’s life when lawn seats are no longer an option, and overpriced alcohol is a necessity. Cheers! 

All this and so much more on this episode of Smeared Mascara. 

Rated RIPD for Rest In Peace Dolly 

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This is the post July 4th episode. The US turned 250 and we still don’t care. Mitch McConnell was (and still is) missing. Has anyone checked the morgue? 

Brooke fills us in on her out of state adventure to Colorado, the centennial state. Turns out there’s more than just mountains there. 

Mandy shares her quick trip to the Big D, Disneyland. Yes, she’s a weird Disney adult. 

The ladies discuss tattoos and piercings. Sadly, Brooke is no longer considering a tattoo inspired by sisterly love. Also, Mandy is a dumbass when it comes to nose jewelry. 

All this and so much more on this episode of Smeared Mascara!

Rated PQ for Perimenopausal Queens 

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First of all, back up. Personal space needs to be respected. Second of all, back up more. 

The ladies of Smeared Mascara are coming in hot. Politics, religion, and finances anyone??  Pick a topic, any topic and we can bitch about it. 

Brooke tells us about She Week in Las Vegas, and how Flava Flav definitely knows what time it is. Yeahhh boyeeee! 

Mandy shares how she survived secondhand smoke, and how she missed the World Cup Half Time Show.  The Muppets need a better publicist. 

So turn down the treble and pump that bass. It’s time for Smeared Mascara. 

Rated FMM for Find Mitch McConnell 

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Welcome back to your favorite pop culture pod, Smeared Mascara.

This week the ladies come in hot with strong, chlorinated opinions. It’s summer, they’re perimenopausal, and lethal. 

Brooke reminisces about her childhood and the significance of daytime soaps. Whatchu know about Port Charles in the 80s???

The latest Netflix documentary about a post-hysterectomy pregnancy is discussed. These are starting to sound like Maury Povich episodes. 

Mandy shares a Father’s Day glizzy story, and the reality of a local Walmart parking lot. 

So put on your shin guards and enjoy this episode.  Balls are flying and presidents are lying. It’s the World Cup and the USA’s 250th. What a time to barely be alive!

Rated HNDY for He’s Not Dead Yet (if you don’t know who, you probably don’t belong here)

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It’s summertime and it’s slammin’. In case you couldn’t tell, we’re still in our Rhode Island slang era. 

The pod took a few weeks off between recordings. There is so much to catch up on in this episode. TV, socials, slang, concerts and more! 

This week you’ll hear about Brooke’s mortal enemy on the softball field… the sun. Can we get a quality sunscreen sponsor up in here, please? These middle age mamacitas could use some help. Fraxel anyone?

The ladies chat about the ending of Euphoria without sharing spoilers. Yes, it can be done. There is a heated debate regarding Hunter Schafer and Alex Consani.  They are in fact two different people, and both are hawt.

Grab your full length mirrors and get ready for another episode of Smeared Mascara! 

“This is a good pod, Savannah.”

Rated BC for Bald Caps 

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Time to treat your ear drums to another episode of Smeared Mascara. This week you’ll hear about Starbuck’s inconsistent customer service. All we want is a hello and maybe a smile, ummmmkaaaayyy?

Brooke shares her Florence and the Machine concert experience. Apparently Flo didn’t publicize the dress code.  Not everyone wears flowy dresses to a concert, Flo.

Mandy hopes for the opportunity to see Kesha live with feathers in her hair and a star painted on her eye. 

The ladies get in depth about the Netflix show The Crash. Yes, there will be spoilers. Duuuhhh!

Lastly, Mandy shares the latest in the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Who knew that such a tiny state could be so iconic? 

So make sure your streaming subscriptions are current, and your chakras are aligned. 

Rated LAGB for Losers Always Get Boo’d (especially at the NBA Finals)

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Hello friends and loyal listeners! It’s your favorite pod duo, Brooke and Mandy. In this episode you’ll hear us talk about another assassination attempt on the president. Can you believe how many times this man has cheated death? It’s quite impressive! There’s NO WAY any of this could be fake. 

We touch on the biggest breakup of the spring season, Meg & Klay. Some people need more than a talented, educated woman to remain monogamous.

Also discussed are our latest tv choices like Euphoria and Love on the Spectrum. Are you watching either of these socially iconic shows? We sincerely hope so.

It’s time for you to put on some cutoff denim shorts and wrestle a snake like RFK, because Smeared Mascara is bringing the heat.

Rated SSB for Sizzler Salad Bar 

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Welcome back to your favorite podcast, Smeared Mascara. This week Brooke and Mandy talk about their activity levels during the golden age of FitBits, a trip to SoCal, and week one of Coachella.

As always, there is an update on the latest government drama. What will Kash Money freak out about next? Will another movie “inspire” a bible quote used in a speech? 

Kiss or Miss is back! Hear what the ladies are down for, and what is on the way out. 

All this and so much more on this episode of Smeared Mascara!

Rated FMB for Foul Mouth Bitches 

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