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Well well well, Spoopy Season is upon us once again and we begin a 9 week attempt to make Jonny cry starting with The Ring (2002): a 2 hour white-knuckle adventure of record rooms, videotapes, record rooms, newspapers and record rooms.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Young Jerry has everything you need for a classic Goosebumps tale; a haunted piano, an overactive imagination, and beautiful hands. This titillating trifecta draws the attention of master robotics engineer, Mr Toggle, who proves Piano Lessons Can Be Murder.
Music created by Pantile.
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A damaged and deranged madman is on the loose and the people of Gotham aren't safe! Luckily, they get a bit of a reprieve when he has to fight the Joker for a bit. It's Batman vs. Vatman in a movie that can only be described as one we watched this week.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
Follow us on Twitter & Instagram and check out our YouTube channel.
The cream-of-the-top Sheriff of Prosperity must solve her toughest case yet: the case of whether or not spiders have heads. Meanwhile, Chris McCormick returns from his 10 year self-imposed exile to re-open the local mine and locate an unrealistically large gold ore vein. All this and more in Eight Legged Freaks (2002), a movie mostly about spiders 50 times their original size, moving at -10 times their original speed.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
Follow us on Twitter & Instagram and check out our YouTube channel.
The titular Blade (1998) learns Los Angeles' darkest secret, its entire butcher population is also its entire vampire population. Now Blade must complete his most important mission yet: to find a cure, to stop the vampire tornado god, and to answer this universe's most important question; why are motherf*****s always tryin' to ice skate uphill.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
Follow us on Twitter & Instagram and check out our YouTube channel.
After Luke Graham becomes the lone survivor of the Martian Space Tornado Security System™, Jim, Woody, and Terri must make the Mission to Mars (2000) to save him. Little do they know, Mars' most unpopular citizen may be the only reason they (and we) were there to begin with.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Dog Soldiers (2002) is primarily a film about trying to say something cool before you die, but there's also a quirky subplot where a group of soldiers must survive the night against a household worth of werewolves. The twist is that three other people are also werewolves, so by the end, we have about nine werewolves. Bet you've never seen a movie with that many werewolves.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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In The Witches (1990), a coven of reality-bending witches is unable to decimate a simple mouse-boy called Jake. Even the Grand High Witch, who is able to disintegrate others with a thought, is defeated by our cheese loving hero. And let's not forget all the help from our sugar loving hero (Luke's Grandma), who must face the ultimate foe: diabetes.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
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Britain's horniest man, Austin Powers, makes his debut as the international man of mystery. His mission: to convince us that this movie definitely has a plot, even though all evidence says otherwise.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
Follow us on Twitter & Instagram and check out our YouTube channel.
Budding psychopath, Kevin McCallister, uses his Christmas wish to make his family disappear in time for the holidays. Now he's Home Alone, festivities are to include trespass, thievery, torture and battery, all he needs are victims. Harry and Marv, you may enter the killing floor.
Music created by Jack Parsons.
Follow us on Twitter & Instagram and check out our YouTube channel.
The "tree surgery" Netflix series I reference is Big Timber. It's good, watch it.
From the publisher's feed