Season 1, Episode 5: So Your Teen is Sexually Active

 

It's hard to think about, but eventually, your kid will have sex.  Thinking about it can bring up all kinds of emotions for us as parents. Listening to this podcast will help you ready for the moment that you realize that your kid is sexually active. To help you prepare we cover the following topics in this episode: sleepovers, consent, new types of sex, and what age is appropriate for sexual activity.

 

Sleepovers: What were your best and worst sleepover experiences like? Like all parents you want your kids to have some of the good and not very much of the bad. It is so important to have a set of communicated expectations with your kids when it comes to sleepovers. We discuss common questions we are asked such as co-ed sleepovers, where should the sleepovers be, parental presence, boyfriends/girlfriends, and the temptations kids face. 

 

Consent: What is consent? Most of us did not grow up learning about consent. For the purposes of this podcast, consent is defined as engaging in contact that both parties voluntarily agree too. Please note that no one can give consent if they are in any way impaired. It is important to talk to your kids about what consent is and what it looks like when consent goes well; also, what can happen if they don't seek consent. Make a plan with your kids when they don't feel safe giving consent. Cell phones can be bad in so many ways, but in regards to safety, it is gold!

 

New ways to be sexually active: Kids today are very well informed about different types of sexual activity and available tools. They largely do their homework before they do anything.  Your child may know more about sex than you do!  We discuss new topics and hardware that you may not be aware of yet, and give some guidance about how to talk to your kid about these topics.

 

Sex Timeline: Does your teen have a timeline they believe they have to meet? Many teens have a belief they are "supposed" to have sex or be in a relationship with others by a certain age. Their expectations may come from their friends. They may also get their expectations from you. Model what you want them to know. Talk to them about what you believe is a healthy timeline.

 

How old should a kid be before they have sex? We want our teens to be emotionally and developmentally ready to have sex. If your teen is able to engage with you and talk about sex, they are most likely ready. If not, it may be that they have the interest but are not yet mature enough to handle sex. We discuss general guidelines for when your teen might be ready. 

 

Resources

Sleep Overs: 

https://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/ready-for-a-sleepover/

 

https://health.usnews.com/wellness/for-parents/articles/2017-10-12/the-pros-and-cons-of-teen-sleepovers

 

https://yourteenmag.com/social-life/teenagers-friends/coed-sleepovers

 

https://www.parentmap.com/article/teen-coed-sleepovers

 

Consent:

https://www.sexandu.ca/consent/what-is-consent/

 

https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent

 

https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/what-consent

 

http://worldpopulationreview.com/states/age-of-consent-by-state/

 

Modern Teen Sex

https://www.hrc.org/resources/a-call-to-action-lgbtq-youth-need-inclusive-sex-education

 

https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-met-lgbtq-teens-parents-sex-talk-20180406-story.html

 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/modern-day-sex-talk-_n_6171136

 

https://www.teensource.org/blog/2010/06/my-favorite-websites-teens-and-sexual-health

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