Discovering that your partner has cheated is one of the most painful experiences anyone can have. It’s a form of relational trauma that leaves you hurting and mistrustful, long after the affair has ended. Healing from this form of betrayal is a difficult process that takes many months or even years. But the partner who cheated has their own healing to do, and that very real need is often overlooked in conversations about infidelity.   So you’ve cheated, now what? If you’ve cheated on someone you love and care about, you may be questioning everything you thought you knew about yourself. You may feel confused about how you got here, and conflicted about the future you want. You are likely filled with a complex mix of painful feelings, like regret, shame, guilt, and ambivalence. Addressing those feelings and understanding your experience is the path to repair, both for you, and for your relationship.  That’s why I created this episode of the podcast. I hope this helps you find space for your own healing and growth, so you can move forward from this experience stronger than before.  With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com . . . Episode Highlights [01:50] Help! I Cheated  [7:01] Why Did I Cheat?  [15:03] Moving Forward After Cheating  [31:21] Forgiving Yourself  [39:20] A Healthy Healing Process After Cheating

#314 - So You've Cheated, Now What?

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Do you want to feel happier, have more success, and live your full potential? The key is your mindset. Specifically, whether you've cultivated an abundance mindset, or whether you're living with a scarcity mindset. On this week's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're talking about what the abundance mindset is, and how you can put it to work for you in every domain of life.  When you have an abundance mindset, you see possibilities everywhere you look. You're aware of your incredible power to make good things happen in your life, and you can maintain motivation to work toward your goals because you know you're ultimately bound to succeed.  But many of us get stuck in a scarcity mindest, or believing that your opportunities to create the life you want are limited. This mindset makes obstacles feel insurmountable, and keeps you from being and having everything you're capable of.  You deserve better! Tune in to this episode to learn how to shake off your sense of scarcity (which you may not even be aware of) and start embracing an abundant life.  You'll learn:  00:00 What Is an Abundance Mindset? 05:08 Why Mindset Matters 09:44 The Abundance Mindset vs Scarcity Mindset 13:06 Abundance Mindset in the Workplace 20:01 Abundance Mindset and Money 23:14 Abundance Mindset in Relationships 29:07 Internal Benefits of Abundance Mindset 32:00 Developing an Abundance Mindset 37:21 Challenging Your Perspective  And so much more! I hope you'll join me, and that you'll find this episode helpful.  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — Want support in radically shifting your mindset and getting more out of life? Schedule a free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

#400 - Mindset: How to Live an Abundant Life

We all inherit some baggage from our families of origin — and often, we don't even realize we're carrying it! On today's episode, I'm talking about how you can explore the intergenerational cycles that may be holding you back, and then make some intentional choices about what you want to keep, and what you want to leave behind.  Breaking generational cycles is a self-affirming process. It frees you from ways of thinking and behaving that may have felt like "just the way things are," and allows you to become who you truly are at your core. And if you're parent, breaking generational cycles can be even more important, because it spares your kids from inheriting the junk that's weighing you down.  Tune in to learn all about how this works, including:   06:35  What Are Intergenerational Patterns? 09:49  Recognizing Your Patterns and Making Changes 21:22  Getting Help with Deeply Engrained Patterns 25:30  Emotional Intelligence and Generational Cycles 32:06 The Value of  Structured Emotional Intelligence Work  And more! I hope you'll join me, and that you'll feel inspired to break through the patterns that are no longer serving you, so you can start a positive new chapter.    xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby    P.S. — Want help with breaking generational cycles? Schedule a free consulation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/

#399 - How to Break Generational Cycles

When you have an anxious attachment style, it's hard to feel secure in your most important relationships. But learning how to self-soothe anxious attachment and create a stronger relationship with yourself can be the path to emotional freedom.  On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're discussing how you can stop relying on the people around you to regulate your anxiety, and learn to manage anxious feelings internally. This not only helps you have better relationships, it makes you stronger, happier, and more resilient.  My guest is attachment expert Thais Gibson, a counselor, YouTuber, and founder of the Personal Development School. Thais shared some eye-opening insights in this episode that you won't want to miss!  You'll learn:   00:00  Introduction to Attachment Theory 08:19  Thais' Background and Interest in Attachment Theory 16:21  Understanding Attachment Styles 28:15  The Danger of Pathologizing Attachment Styles 33:51 The  Impact of Attachment Styles on Relationships 39:11  Strategies for Healing Attachment Wounds 41:15  Reprogramming Core Wounds 45:40 The Power of  Auto-Suggestion   And so much more. I hope you'll tune in!  xoxo,   Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby   P.S. — Ready to transform your attachment patterns? Schedule a free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

#398 - How to Self-Soothe Anxious Attachment

If you've lived through a divorce, or you're going through one now, you know that ending a marriage comes with a lot of regrets. You might regret not trying harder to save your marriage when you had the chance, or, if the divorce was your choice, you might have difficult moments when you regret your decision. You might even regret marrying your Ex in the first place! Whatever flavor of divorce regret you're experiencing, this episode is for you. I'm talking about how you can not only cope with regret after divorce, but how you can use it to start a positive new chapter in your life.  You'll learn:   03:04  The Purpose of Regret in Healing after a Breakup or Divorce 10:10 Regret's and Its Relationship to Grief 11:07  Shifting Your Perspective on Mistakes and Regret 12:21  Learning from Regret to Build Healthier Relationships 13:47  Differentiating Healthy Regret from Shame 16:43  Exploring Regret through Journaling and Therapy 22:19  Creating a Constructive Narrative that Helps You Grow 24:04 Using Regret as a Catalyst for Change     All of that and more on today's episode. I hope you find this conversation helpful and healing, and that it gives you hope for all the positive things that are still ahead of you.     xoxo,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby     P.S. — Want support in healing after a breakup or divorce? Get in touch: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

#397 - After Divorce: The Gift of Regret

Do you have a habit of giving too much in relationships? Maybe you say "yes" when you really want to say no, or you offer much more emotional and material support than you receive in return.  All of this sounds noble, but overgiving is a habit that will eventually wear you down (and, that will keep you from having truly satisfying relationships based on mutuality). So how can you stop being an "over-giver" and start creating healthy give and take in your relationships? That's what we're talking about on today's episode.  I've worked with many clients over the years who were card-carrying overgivers. They were all smart, strong, competent people who excel at getting stuff done. The flip side of these strengths can be a habit of over-functioning in relationships, which leads the people around them to underfunction. The result is a situation where they HAVE to do it all, because otherwise, everything will fall apart.  At least that's how it feels. In reality, when you stop over-giving, you open up space for the people around you to step up. Some of them may disappoint you, but often, you will be pleasantly surprised at how the people around you rise to the occassion. You can stop feeling guilty, resentful, overwhelmed, and unappreciated, and start having the nourishing relationships you deserve.  This episode will show you the way! You'll learn:    Why overgiving is damaging to your relationships and your wellbeing What overgiving looks like Why you overgive in relationships How to stop being an overgiver  Tips for setting healthy boundaries  Creating balance through the power of vulnerability and authenticity.   All of that and more for you on today's show. I hope you'll join me!  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — If you want to break this habit once and for all, we should talk. Schedule a free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

#314 - So You've Cheated, Now What?

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