Vanessa and I talk about how the holidays can be a painful time for alcoholics and their families. The memories of years past—sometimes more like nightmares—can induce fear and stress. We may feel resentful that we cannot drink like "a normal person and these resentments may make us and our families anything but happy to be together.

We discuss setting realistic expectations for ourselves as other people in our lives probably haven't changed, and many of the conflicts that crop up at family reunions will doubtless crop up again. Accept it, roll with the punches, and rein in the urge to manipulate everything and everyone. It will be enough for you to take care of and control yourself.

Lastly, we discuss how we let gratitude carry us and we were able to give the holidays a deeper meaning. It wasn't easy but a powerful step in sobriety- we are celebrating a new, better, and sober life that we have created.