Welcome back to another episode of 1-800 SLOOTS where I clutch my vintage dial phone like you are actually on the other line!! The sloots are my security blanket so TY for sharing your stories…Grindr, boys who read, dating older, broken engagements, and more! But first let’s recap Lucas’s visit to NYC – long story short people with ADHD should not take the bus. But if you do, you might end up with ice cream on a carousel…enjoy! XO

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Committing a SWAF cardinal sin and ZOOM recording with my cousin Alex!! We needed her back on and we’re a little busy with another project so instead of sharing the couch we’re on screen share. Alex is joined by some special friends on her chest as well as every Labubu imaginable – she also has weed/unboxing content on her twitch which I don’t understand but if you do then go watch. We unpack our almond mom trauma, debate whether my bag is Dior or Temu, and finally debrief the Bezos wedding. And the biological dad DNA test saga continues! Enjoy your favorite guest sloots <3

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This week we have a friend on the show to discuss all things Mormon founders, starting a podcast, women’s health, and tattooed hairlines. Yasmine Higbee is my new, fast friend introduced to me by the Boys Lie girls you know and love. She’s out of pocket, extremely knowledgeable about hormones, and did a very special segment on 60 minutes so really we’re in the presence of a famous celebrity. Botched filler, UC Berkeley vs. Arizona State, everything’s bigger in Texas, and more! Enjoy the gab sesh – love you sloots!

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Almost Healed Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/almost-healed/id1823931298 

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Welcome back to 1800-Sloots! But first let’s discuss committing light medical fraud using Lucas’s ID to score off-label Viagra. Nobody wants to talk about women’s sexual health and we deserve pleasure!! Lucas also gets on the mic to tell his side of the story. Then it’s all about the sloot callers – a man named Tristan, going through his phone, having a make-out-only summer…enjoy!! Xx

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Hey sloots, it’s Sofia your favorite water sign and it’s my birthday! But the age I’m turning is confidential – please respect my privacy at this time. In case you haven’t heard, we have a lot in the works right now at Sloot Media, so for the first time since the show’s launch, I’m taking my birthday off and giving you a re-run of my 30th birthday solo episode! It’ll ring some bells once you see the guest I have sitting in the chair next to me…Enjoy this special re-run and I’ll see you next week xoxo

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Episode Highlights:

00:00 Intro

00:57 Correct birth date + wrong ethnicity

02:54 Career status

04:41 Blade flight + Europe trip

06:19 Episode re-run

08:12 Meet Miss B

09:35 Fluffy pink dress + turning 30

12:27 Birthday adventures

16:02 SWAF is off limits to the BF

18:31 Mad Sofia

23:37 Post hookup etiquette

25:21 Who was that?

32:02 Missing etiquette

34:43 Let's about etiquette

38:24 Setting + delusion

45:30 Question 1: Farting during orgasm

49:12 Question 2: Fetish talk

51:07 Question 3: Mom vs vibrator

53:18 Question 4: Cheating BF

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I’m giving 1-800 SLOOTS the serious attention it deserves and taking your calls from a VERY special dial up phone (vintage from Argentina IF you even care…) These are my favorite videos to record right now because you sloots are that good. Mind in the gutter with your boss? Faking a British accent? Love the beach but stuck in cow-town? This episode is for you. Also, don’t worry I fill you in on the Great Gatsby party (hint: it’s similar to my Lana Del Rey at Coachella story, if you know you know.) Enjoy sloots! Keep calling ; )

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Remember Ashley Madison, the infamous dating platform that prides itself on creating a safe space for cheaters? Well nearly 10 years after the data breach – where millions of users were outed for their infidelity – Ashley Madison is back up and thriving, boasting the slogan “Life is short, have an affair.” Today, I have the CSO Paul Keable on the couch to talk all things Ashley Madison – monogamy, adultery, attraction, misogyny, marriage…I also grill him on his personal involvement in the business – Has he ever made a profile? How is he able to pursue monogamous relationships while being the face of this business? If he doesn’t want to be cheated on, then isn’t his involvement a bit hypocritical? After the Ashley Madison tell all doc on Netflix, I wanted to know more…so here you go sloots! Enjoy ; )

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I’m done with the sound of my own voice – you know what that means? Time to dive into your voicemails, sloots. We’ve got a sloot on the brink of a long distance crisis, a male sloot stuck in Florida, a British streamer lacking female attention, and a slew of deranged lore that I’m eternally grateful y’all are letting me share with the public. Y’all are FUNNY. Thanks for dialing 1-800 SLOOTS! IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER if you’re still reading – you’re in for a special treat at minute 7:20…I was trying not to have a menty b and it sounds like I’m speaking in tongues but it made the cut because it’s real!

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My name is not my name. My dad is not my dad. And my story is not my story…yet.

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Soph is back for a Part 2 and we are ready to dissect our relationship from top to bottom. First, we look at other relationships between A-list celebs (me) and their assistants – Jessica Simspon made her’s her child’s godmother which none of my past employees have done…yet! Then we do a live annual review – are we co-dependant? Do we cross boundaries? How much of our personal lives seep into the business? If you work in HR feel free to drop a comment letting us know how we’re doing…and remember the lines are blurred in entertainment but we are both filled with mutual admiration for each other : ) enjoy sloots (and if Soph quits after this comes out feel free to drop your linkedin in the comments)

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