I started the Soft Power Project because I needed it. I needed the courage to let go of something I'd been holding since I was maybe four, and I needed to hear how other women did it.

One hundred episodes later, this is the thing I was too ashamed to tell you.

I'm going through a reset with my parents. I'm not sharing the details, my family gets their privacy.

Growing up, my family's problems were a puddle of water behind a wall. There was a hole in it, and my job was to hold it shut so nothing spilled. I was told I was good at that job. The puddle became an ocean, and I held on until I couldn't.

I let go for my daughter.

I'm not sharing this as someone who has it figured out. A week and a half ago I was in bed. Today I can say it out loud. That's why I record.

If you're carrying shame about your family, you're not alone, and you're not a bad daughter. Soft power, right now, looks like compassion for yourself and seeing what's real.

Thank you for a hundred, and let's do a hundred more together.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - 100 episodes, and we made it through
2:25 - The reset with my parents
6:35 - Letting go, and the spill that followed
10:16 - Questioning what I was taught to believe
12:31 - Listening to my heart, one small thing
15:56 - You are not a bad daughter

#SoftPowerProject #Boundaries #Healing #CulturalIdentity
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Fiona Chu had to talk to her therapist before she could send her dad one text message: that she'd spend a week of her trip home traveling alone.

Sherry and Fiona talk about what happens when a good daughter starts setting boundaries. Fiona grew up walking on eggshells after her parents' divorce, taking care of her mom's feelings and learning to put everyone else first. The definition she carried said a good daughter listens, doesn't disagree, and never has too many feelings. Years of burnout, chronic anxiety, and therapy later, she's rewriting it. Setting boundaries, she says, isn't keeping her parents outside the door. It's how they finally get to meet the real her.

From a solo trip where her inner voice got louder, to seeing the fear under her parents' anger, to letting go of the apology that isn't coming. The inner critic still shows up every day, and the spiral still comes. It's just shorter now. By the end, Fiona names her own definition of soft power: keep choosing yourself. She's been listening to Sherry since her previous podcast, years before the Soft Power Project existed. This is the conversation they finally got to have.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Intro
4:56 - Life after burnout and chronic anxiety
7:56 - The inner critic and tools for anxiety
12:45 - Traveling alone to meet yourself
16:56 - Why going home feels heavy
21:55 - Redefining the good daughter
28:16 - Reparenting your inner child
33:05 - How healing changes relationships
39:29 - Soft power is choosing yourself

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
- Episode 14 - Overcoming Fear Through Solo Traveling with Lisa Saper-Bloom (on the show's Apple Podcasts page): https://podcasts.apple.com/id/podcast/soft-power-project/id1795635125
- Overseas, We Rise - Fiona's upcoming podcast

ABOUT FIONA CHU:
Fiona Chu is a Taiwanese UX designer living in Southern California, where she documents her healing journey through her 30s on Instagram: therapy, boundaries, inner child work, and learning to choose herself.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hi.fionachu/

#SoftPowerProject #Boundaries #InnerChildHealing #MentalHealth

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When I was in survival mode, I turned everything into a task. Even the things meant to restore me became one more thing to get done, and all of it felt draining.
This episode is about three small, cheap things that pulled me out of overfunctioning, without me realizing it at the time. I painted a sunset at a café for no reason, at my lowest low. I hired cleaners instead of losing every weekend to it. And I picked up a book that had nothing to do with being productive, and remembered what it felt like to read for me.
Years later I found that painting again and realized it had become the purple-to-orange gradient on the Soft Power Project cover. My body knew what I needed before my head could admit it. To me, that’s what soft power is: choosing something just because it’s yours.
I’m not sharing this as someone who has it all figured out. I’m still catching myself turning rest into another achievement.
If you’re overfunctioning, this is your invitation to carve out one part of your life that isn’t for productivity or achievement.

What’s one thing you could do for no reason?

Timestamps
0:00 - Escaping Survival Mode
6:24 - The Power of Creativity
9:40 - Outsourcing for Clarity
12:26 - Rediscovering the Joy of Reading

#SoftPowerProject #Overfunctioning #SurvivalMode #SelfCare

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Melissa looked high-functioning for over a decade as an ICU nurse. Underneath, she was exhausted, anxious, and abandoning herself to keep everyone else comfortable.

Sherry and Melissa talk about what happens when the person everyone relies on finally stops performing. The people-pleasing you don't even notice, because it's your whole identity. The slow, scary work of setting a boundary when you've been rewarded your whole life for not having any. Why “no is a full sentence” still feels impossible, and the one line Melissa leans on instead: I need 24 hours to think about this.

They get into the body, too. How Melissa's whole body goes flush and hot before she's said the word no. What changed when she left the city for twenty-five acres, a creek, and horses she loved as a kid. And why safety, the real kind, is something you feel in your shoulders.

Near the end, Sherry asks what soft power means to her. Melissa brings it back to authenticity: knowing yourself well enough to move through life fully as you are. That, to her, is soft power.

This one is for anyone who looks fine on the outside and feels the opposite. This one moves slow, on purpose.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Intro
1:24 - From ICU burnout to coaching
3:33 - Realizing you're a people pleaser
6:45 - The scary work of boundaries
11:33 - Kindness vs. self-abandonment
16:13 - Self-trust and the 24-hour rule
22:46 - When your body says no
29:41 - Safety, nature, and survival mode
39:43 - What soft power means

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Life Health Women Coaching: https://www.lifehealthwomen.com/
Melissa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/empowerherjourney___/

ABOUT MELISSA:
Melissa (MSN, RN) is the founder of Life Health Women Coaching. After twelve-plus years as a registered nurse, mostly in ICU, her own burnout and anxiety led her into a healing journey centered on self-trust and emotional safety. She now coaches women through the patterns she lived herself: people-pleasing, anxiety, and abandoning yourself to keep the peace.

https://www.instagram.com/empowerherjourney___/ | https://www.lifehealthwomen.com/

#SoftPowerProject #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #SelfTrust #WomenPodcast

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I didn't force the Soft Power Summit into existence. I let it happen. And for the first time in my life, I built something just for me, not for the validation.

Not long after I started the Soft Power Project, I pictured this event while lying in bed at the lowest point I'd ever been: pushed out, publicly demoted, done performing for a world that only wanted to hear about achievements. A week ago it was real, a room in New York full of women I'd only known through a screen, finally connecting heart to heart.

The hardest part was trusting it. My old self kept pulling me back, asking how I could possibly not control every detail. I had to learn to let it flow anyway.

I'm still learning what it means to do something for myself. But I can tell you it felt like magic, and I think it was.

If you've ever held a vision you couldn't quite explain, this is your invitation to do one thing for you. Not for the numbers. Not for the likes. Just for you.

0:00 - The Magic of Manifestation
3:00 - The Birth of the Soft Power Project
6:05 - Planning the Soft Power Summit
8:45 - Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Flow
11:54 - Celebrating Age and Connection
14:47 - Reflections and Future Aspirations

Mentioned in this episode:
Butter Be Kind: https://butterbekind.com/

#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #Manifestation #SelfDiscovery #WomenEmpowerment

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Joanna Stokinger spent over twenty years as a homicide victim advocate, guiding families through unimaginable loss. Then in 2021, she got the call that made her one of them. Her six-week-old grandson, Anthony, died from abusive head trauma, and Joanna found herself on the other side of the work she'd built her career on. The grieving grandmother who still had to be the advocate in the room.
Sherry and Joanna talk about what happens when the work you trained for your whole life becomes your own life. Why grief after homicide doesn't move in a straight line. What a trauma-informed advocate does, and the damage done when there isn't one. And the grandson Joanna still hasn't fully grieved, because she came back to work to train other advocates and change how survivors are met on the worst day of their lives.
This conversation goes somewhere unexpected.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Intro
1:52 - Inside the Maine Resiliency Center
6:15 - The call that changed everything
15:42 - Why homicide grief isn't linear
25:41 - What to say to someone in grief
35:50 - The grief she couldn't have
39:15 - Learning to put herself first
46:26 - What resilience actually looks like
55:51 - Soft power, grace, and growth

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Maine Resiliency Center: https://www.maineresiliencycenter.org/
Parents of Murdered Children: https://www.pomc.org/
"Remarkably Bright Creatures" by Shelby Van Pelt

ABOUT JOANNA STOKINGER:

Joanna Stokinger spent more than two decades in victim advocacy and criminal justice, working homicide cases at the Maine Attorney General's office. In 2021, the loss of her grandson made her a surviving family member of the kind she'd spent her career supporting. She is now Lead Advocate and Navigator at the Maine Resiliency Center and co-leads the Maine chapter of Parents of Murdered Children.

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Eight years ago, I started praying every night to grow. I had no idea what I was asking for, or that the universe was listening the whole time. It just sent the lessons first.

I recorded this while packing for New York and the first Soft Power Summit. Twenty years ago I left this city before I was ready, and now I'm going back to hold my first event here. I'm not a happy-go-lucky person, I never have been. Being positive takes real work for me, and I spent half my life holding peace for everyone else. Then came the divorce, the custody battle I'm still in, the career pivots, COVID. I asked to grow, and growth arrived carrying every lesson I needed.

This is the thread running through everything on the Soft Power Project. Soft power isn't forcing yourself to be positive. It's trusting that the dream you can't see yet is still on its way.

If you're in a season where you can't see the light, this one is for you. You don't have to manifest the way the gurus say. Five minutes, one walk, one coffee. That counts.

What's the small dream you're holding right now?

The first Soft Power Summit is in New York on June 20. Only a few spots left!

Friends of the show can join with FRIENDS20: https://luma.com/q8i8ubvg?coupon=FRIENDS20

0:00 - Introduction and Personal Reflection
2:53 - Journey of Self-Discovery
5:53 - The Impact of Life Changes
8:46 - The Birth of the Soft Power Project
11:19 - Encouragement for Tough Times

#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #SoftPowerSummit #WomenEmpowerment #PersonalGrowth

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Maïlys Jox lost one of her closest friends, very suddenly. What came after was a slow journey from grief to trusting life again, and becoming a mother.
Sherry and Maïlys talk about what happens when grief and joy arrive at the same time. They get into survival mode and the people who help you out of it, the album she wrote and recorded while she was pregnant, and the song that opens on her daughter's real heartbeat. They talk about the discovery that surprised her most: that joy and grief can live in the same heart, at the very same time.
There is also the 20 to 30 minutes of silence she protects every morning, where her best ideas tend to arrive without a single sound, the family gatherings that turn into a mini orchestra, and the next album she is about to record, stripped back to just piano and voice as she returns to who she is.
This is a Soft Power Project conversation about holding grief and joy at the same time. It goes somewhere unexpected.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Grief and joy at the same time
1:32 - Singapore roots and finding home
3:00 - A sudden loss, then motherhood
5:06 - Moving through survival mode
10:44 - Music as a family language
14:44 - Fear, joy, and choosing life
17:48 - A daily practice of silence
20:42 - Writing the album while pregnant
25:54 - Choosing joy, returning to herself
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Maïlys Jox on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4F94HKOO2psDIoP2Dx9Z3G
Maïlys Jox on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mailysjox/
ABOUT MAÏLYS JOX:
Maïlys Jox is a French singer-songwriter, born in Singapore and now based in France. She grew up in a musician family, learned music young, and writes in both French and English. Her songs range from intimate piano-and-voice ballads to more upbeat tracks, drawn from her own life.
https://www.instagram.com/mailysjox/ | https://open.spotify.com/artist/4F94HKOO2psDIoP2Dx9Z3G
#SoftPowerProject #Grief #Motherhood #Healing #ChoosingJoy
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Around 2013, two books reshaped how a generation of women thought about ambition: Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso and Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. I never read Girlboss, but I bought Lean In right after I had my daughter, and just holding it made me feel like an independent woman.
I believed that message. So when I got divorced at 35, I girl bossed it hard. I had to prove to myself, to the world, to the court, that I could do it all. From the outside it looked empowering. On the inside, I had lost connection to myself completely. I was performing, and I still didn't know who I was.
A lot of women who have been through something land there. We hustle, we achieve, and eventually we sit down and say: I'm done. It's exhausting.
This is what I keep coming back to on the Soft Power Project. We're not in the era of girl bossing anymore. We're in the era of embodiment, of soft power, of coming home to who we already are.
If you have ever proven yourself right out of your own body, this is for you.
What are you ready to do more softly?
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/316162/girlboss-by-sophia-amoruso/
Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg: https://leanin.org/book
0:00 - The Rise of the Girl Boss Movement
4:43 - The Shift to Soft Power and Embodiment
6:15 - Welcome to the Movement
#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #Embodiment #WomenEmpowerment
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Margo Aaron kept waiting for her life to level out. The divorce, the custody fight, the single motherhood. She kept thinking she would feel like herself again once things calmed down. They didn't.
Sherry and Margo talk about what happens when the hard thing doesn't end. When co-parenting isn't co-parenting but managing a constant antagonist. When the court system gives him the benefit of the doubt and hands you the suspicion. When loving your kid and finding motherhood brutally hard turn out to be two separate truths.
Margo is a writer who lost her words for a while. This is the story of how she got them back. Not by pushing through, but by stealing five minutes of joy at a time. A frivolous book. A kitchen dance party. One night out a week, even when it broke her heart. None of it was a grand overhaul. It was small, and it was hers.
This is a Soft Power Project conversation, and it goes somewhere unexpected.

About Margo Aaron
Margo Aaron is a writer, speaker, and marketing expert who began as a psychological researcher before building her newsletter and community, That Seems Important. She writes about creativity, behavior, and what it takes to keep showing up when life doesn't go to plan.
Instagram: instagram.com/margoaaron   |   LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/margoaaron   |   thatseemsimportant.com

About Sherry Fang
Sherry Fang is the host of the Soft Power Project.
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sherryfang83   |   Instagram: instagram.com/soft_power_project   |   YouTube: youtube.com/@SoftPowerProject

Timestamps
0:00 - Welcome + the new normal
2:37 - Survival mode vs. low-grade waiting
7:48 - Code-switching and resentment
11:58 - Motherhood is a job, not bliss
21:13 - High conflict, not miscommunication
28:03 - DEEP technique and gray rocking
33:00 - Family court and misogyny
48:05 - Reclaiming joy and creativity
1:01:07 - Permission to enjoy + soft power

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