Soft Power Project

When I started the Soft Power Project in 2025, I decided to talk about something that still brought me a bit of shame: my divorce. But over the past month and a half, I realized I still haven't fully forgiven myself for picking the wrong partner.

These are the things I'm still surprised about, almost two years in. I talk about why I practice parallel parenting. I also recently realized that when I speak to you openly about my divorce and custody battle, it's all in English, and this actually isn't easy for me to do in Mandarin, my mother tongue. I used to be so proud of being able to code switch. Now that I'm 43, things are very compartmentalized, and I'm trying to figure out how to align that.

Sharing my life online, I really had to let go of a lot of ego, and there's a lot of freedom in that. If there's something you haven't been comfortable talking about, it's your decision whether to share it, how much, and with whom.

0:00 - Forgiving Myself for the Wrong Partner
1:55 - Why I Practice Parallel Parenting
3:12 - Two Languages, Two Identities
4:29 - Why It Isn't Easy in Mandarin
6:41 - Code-Switching and Finding Alignment
7:57 - Sharing Online and Letting Go of Ego
8:53 - Why I Care Less About How I Look
10:49 - When It's Time to Talk About It

#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #CulturalIdentity #Healing
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I used to debate with myself about whether I needed therapy, even though I knew I did. I went in 2018 to deal with my divorce and a huge identity crisis, and again from 2023 to 2025, when I was really struggling with the custody battle. Last month I decided to go back.
Knowing what I know now, I'm sharing what I wish I had known back then. For two years I scheduled my sessions on my lunch hour so I could go right back to work. You're supposed to drop the armor in a session, then you rush back and put it on again. That's kind of how I felt. I also talk about the bracelet from the very last session of my last round: a tube for the tunnel I walked through, from a really dark space into somewhere really light and bright, and a little flower for my daughter.
If you've ever debated whether you need therapy, this Soft Power Project episode is your invitation to look at it as an investment, not a cost. Make sure you have some cushion around your sessions. That is your time.
0:00 - Why Committing to Therapy Feels Scary
2:14 - The Real Price of Therapy
3:01 - An Investment, Not a Cost
4:22 - Flexible Sessions vs Every Week
6:29 - Therapy Tools in a Physical Room
7:49 - The Bracelet From My Last Session
9:21 - The Problem With Lunch-Hour Sessions
13:13 - Zoom In and Zoom Out

#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #MentalHealth #Healing

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Content note: this episode talks about sexual assault.

I took a week off social media last week. While that was happening, my custody case, seven years in, was ramping up, and the Cornell 7 case kicked off another Me Too moment.

Of all the women I've interviewed, what I'm most interested in is the messy middle, and that's exactly where I am right now. So this is not a neat, clean episode. I talk about what I'm trying, and a story of my own that other women's sexual assault stories on Threads brought back. I've never shared it with anyone, and I'm not ready to tell all of it.

If you've had some version of this experience, you don't have to wait until you're completely processed. You get to decide how much you share, when, and with whom. There's no pressure.

I wanted to share what I've been going through with custody, but you don't need to have a perfect story. If you ever feel like sharing how you handle your messy middle, email me at [email protected], and we can talk about whether you're ready to share it on the Soft Power Project.

0:00 - Why I Took a Week Off Content
2:01 - What I Care About: The Messy Middle
3:17 - My Custody Case, Seven Years In
4:47 - Mindset Is My Superpower
6:46 - What I'm Trying Right Now
8:13 - The Cornell 7 Case and Using Our Voice
11:07 - Women's Stories on Threads
12:27 - The Story I've Never Shared
14:36 - You Decide How Much to Share

#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #MentalHealth #Healing

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What does it mean to trust yourself before you have the proof? In high school, someone told Kate Morgan they wouldn't know what to get her, because she had everything. It looked that way, she says. What she longed for was an internal foundation.

Kate is twenty now, a fashion student at FIT who quit her job to build her own brand of heels and handbags. On the Soft Power Project, Sherry and Kate talk about what happens when you build yourself alongside the thing you are building.

The Soft Power Summit, where she met Sherry, was one of the first times she put herself out there as a brand founder. It was new and it was scary. She acknowledged those feelings and let them ride in the backseat.

From admiring other people online without dimming her own light, to walking away from friendships that weren't serving her anymore, to slow mornings and journaling at night.

She wants her brand to be something that doesn't complete you, but is already a part of you. For Kate, soft power is honoring her truth and building her dream from within. At seventeen, she had forgotten about the brand completely. The person she is now, she says, is everything she needed then.

0:00 - Intro
1:48 - Going after what she wants
6:54 - Showing up scared as a new founder
8:33 - A brand built from within
10:18 - Admiring others, staying in her lane
12:41 - Choosing yourself, finding your people
16:30 - It looked like she had everything
22:01 - Feeling her feelings, staying centered
28:18 - Her 17-year-old self, and soft power

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The Soft Power Summit, New York, June 20, 2026, where Sherry and Kate met: https://luma.com/q8i8ubvg
Kate on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embodebykatemorgan/

ABOUT KATE MORGAN:
Kate Morgan is a fashion student at FIT in New York, originally from Arizona. She quit her job to build her own brand of heels and handbags, a childhood dream she came back to.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaatefrederick/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@styledinsubstance

#SoftPowerProject #SelfTrust #FemaleEntrepreneur #SelfDiscovery

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A year and a half ago, I set a boundary with my ex: no more direct communication, go to my lawyer. A month later he messaged me to say he'd talked to my lawyer, didn't like what she said, and had blocked her.
I didn't hold that boundary. I held an empty fake peace for a year and a half. Last week I told him one last time: all communication goes to my lawyer. Has he listened? Obviously not. But that's okay. That's not my job.
Communication only does 10% of the job. The rest is your action. I'm a communication trainer, and I know the irony. I kept hoping that if I could persuade him, everything would be okay. I was wrong.
Today on the Soft Power Project I'm talking about setting a boundary when you know the other side won't change. Boundary setting is like strength training. With heavier weights, you're still going to feel uncomfortable.
This is your invitation to set yours in one line, with no explanation. Need help confirming a boundary? Email me at [email protected]. If you need my coaching service: https://forms.gle/w4hA9zB1MNCWTfjL8

0:00 - Boundaries When They Won't Change
2:50 - Setting a Boundary With My Ex
5:27 - The Empty Fake Peace I Held
8:33 - Why Written Beats Direct Communication
11:11 - Holding the Line Is 90% of the Job
14:07 - Heavier Weights and Asking for Help

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Stephanie Whitley was still in the middle of domestic violence, a new mom to a three-year-old and an almost one-year-old, when a moment in her garden knocked her to her knees.

It was late spring or early summer of 2022. She was watering her plants with music in her headphones when grief arrived out of nowhere, and with it a realization: the situation she was in, the choices that had led her there, and the life she could give her children instead. She describes it as a veil being lifted. She knew it would be incredibly difficult. She also knew what she had to do.

Sherry and Stephanie talk about what happens after you choose to leave. Getting out was not one decision. She compares it to separating industrial strength Velcro, slowly and methodically, and she names why the time after leaving can be a dangerous one. There were moments when getting back together looked easier.

From shadow work, to a therapist who pushed her back into dating, to the custody weeks alone that gave her time with herself.

She is fierce about protecting her peace now. She still struggles with guilt about the life with mom and dad both at home.

Her definition of soft power is a kind of alchemy: turning darkness into lightness, gently, without forcing it. Her advice for anyone going through it right now: sometimes the scariest choice is the best one.

0:00 - Intro
1:29 - Lost, then a moment in the garden
6:26 - Why leaving is like separating Velcro
15:11 - Rebuilding a relationship with herself
18:53 - Dating after trauma
28:39 - Dating as a single mom
34:47 - Protecting her peace
43:41 - Did it make her a better mom?
46:40 - Soft power as alchemy

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Roddy by Djo, the song Stephanie says resonates with her moment in the garden: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCfCzzCyMU4

ABOUT STEPHANIE WHITLEY:
Stephanie Whitley is a single mom to two young boys. She left an abusive second marriage, and she says she has since worked through most of the trauma it left her with. She is on the parent teacher organization board at her kids' school, was recently appointed to a city committee where she lives, and is going back to school.

#SoftPowerProject #SingleMom #Healing #Boundaries

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Last year I started the Soft Power Project. I was on my way to reinventing myself, and I really thought I had nailed it. This year I realized I was judging myself for judging myself.

Ever since I was little, I've had a camera in my head to judge myself and make sure I show up in a way that's acceptable. When I got divorced at 35 and my world got bigger, that conditioning got worse.

This June and July, when I felt my reels weren't getting the likes I wanted, I got really depressed, and I didn't understand why. I had thought healing was black and white. Instead of completely detaching from that conditioning, I just kind of switched audiences.

What I'm experiencing is kind of a messy middle, like being handed Lego pieces with no diagram. I'm still not sure who I am or where this is going. Validation is delicious, but it doesn't nourish us. So I ask myself, am I here?

If you're in your own messy middle, this is your invitation to sit with a cup of coffee, taste it, and keep that moment to yourself.

0:00 - The Camera in My Head
3:02 - Judging Myself for Judging Myself
6:01 - The Messy Middle and Validation
8:43 - Glow-Ups and the Imaginary Audience

#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #SelfDiscovery #Reinvention
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Mia Vivone's measure of a relationship is not the bouquet. It is the man who drove through a parking lot in the pouring rain to help a stranded couple. It was around Valentine's Day, the couple was stalled in the middle of a five lane road, and he happened to be carrying a charging box. She filmed it, posted it, and said: this is the man that I chose.

Sherry and Mia talk about what happens when the beliefs we absorbed as children start choosing our partners for us. Mia is back on the Soft Power Project after their first conversation about trauma and the nervous system, this time to say what emotional availability actually means. Not the absence of conflict. She defines it through conflict.

From dating apps to princess treatment to the fifty three years it took her to go no contact with her own mother.

When a couple tells her they never fight, what she hears is how much has frozen. How long ago the talking went quiet and the flirting stopped. And the women waiting to meet someone already healed are waiting for something she has not found in herself. The more she grows, the more comes for her to grow.

Mia says soft power is a sacred commitment to keep the promises she makes to herself. No matter what, she will honor who she is.

If nobody has ever shown you what repair sounds like, this is a good place to begin.

0:00 - Intro
1:10 - Same song, different partner
2:38 - What the dating apps make harder
11:19 - Can you do the work alone?
16:10 - Emotional availability and conflict
28:26 - Princess treatment and what it costs
33:22 - The beliefs we inherit
45:25 - Stability, not rich
52:44 - Soft power in a relationship

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Mia's first appearance, Episode 102: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVCRNJxuqvM

The UNTRIGGERED Woman Trauma Transformation System: https://miavivone.com/the-untriggered-woman-trauma-transformation-system

Dr. Aaron Beck on cognitive schema: https://beckinstitute.org/about/dr-aaron-t-beck/

ABOUT MIA VIVONE:

Mia Vivone is a relationship and success coach for trauma survivors and the creator of The UNTRIGGERED Woman Trauma Transformation System. She raised two children mostly alone after coming out of an abusive relationship, working two and three jobs across eleven years of college. She hosts The Untriggered Woman Podcast.
https://miavivone.com/
https://www.instagram.com/mia_vivone/

#SoftPowerProject #Relationships #EmotionalAvailability #WomenPodcast

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Putting your healing journey on social media means living in a constant contradiction between authenticity and performance. I don't think anyone ever told me that part.

Late June and early July arrived all at once. The Soft Power Summit in New York had just happened, I hit the 20k mark on Instagram, and my family life was coming apart. I'm working on resetting my relationship with my parents. When you set boundaries, people who don't know this new version of you push back. I let the ugliness come out. Then I spent about a week and a half in bed.

Then came the question of why I do this. I had started asking whether to work the hook better, reorder my own story so it lands harder. I'm not here to be an influencer. I'm here to take away the shame.

I'm still figuring out the balance. It still bothers me when something doesn't perform. On the Soft Power Project I want more unpolished conversations, the ones that aren't success stories. Soft power here looks like telling the story instead of performing it.

I'm here to find my people. If you're struggling with this, start with the why.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 - Intro
0:17 - What Happened in June and July
0:51 - Resetting Things With My Parents
1:33 - A Week and a Half in Bed
2:13 - Authenticity Versus Performance
3:33 - I'm Not Here to Be an Influencer
5:04 - A Better Place With Social Media
6:42 - Why I Started, and What I Want Now
9:08 - What Do You Want to Know?

#SoftPowerProject #SoftPower #MentalHealth #SelfDiscovery
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Niamh Devine squatted on a strawberry farm for hours. When she stood, her left foot was dead, and no doctor could tell her why her body had done it.

Their best guess was nerve damage. Their best timeline was probably a year or two. She didn't like the word probably.

Her body had been speaking long before that. Years of sore throats while she swallowed what she actually wanted to say. An infection that arrived mid-broadcast, at the peak of a week she describes as nothing but pressure. She had no language for any of it yet.

Sherry and Niamh talk about what happens when you stop trying to fix your body and start listening to it. Fifteen years in Irish television, a career she reached the top of and felt nothing about, a Buddhist meditation hall she walked into knowing nothing, and a single word that dropped into her head on the fifth day and pointed the way out.

Her answer to what soft power means is one word long. Where she ends up is nowhere she set out for.

TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 - Intro
1:36 - Fifteen years in Irish television
9:16 - What the sore throats were saying
11:20 - The foot that stopped working
19:41 - Conditioning and the eight week test
28:51 - Know that you're choosing it
34:09 - Compassion, not spiritual superiority
53:30 - Soft power is intuition
1:00:42 - Finally landing home

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Niamh Devine, Devine Mind Body: https://niamhdevine.com/
Listen to your body, Niamh Devine, TEDxTraleeWomen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNFKpMMMyk4
The Language of the Body: https://niamhdevine.com/language-of-the-body
Dr. John E. Sarno: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_E._Sarno
The Beth Israel Deaconess mind-body back pain research Niamh cites: https://bidmc.org/news-stories/all-news-stories/news/2021/09/researchers-mind-body-program-outperforms-other-chronic-back-pain-treatment

ABOUT NIAMH DEVINE:
Niamh Devine is a TEDx speaker, meditation teacher, and somatic and energy practitioner. She spent more than fifteen years in Irish television and media before a health crisis no doctor could explain turned her towards the mind-body connection. She now works in emotional healing through Devine Mind Body, where her course The Language of the Body helps people read what chronic symptoms may be asking of them.

https://niamhdevine.com/ | https://www.instagram.com/devinemindbody/

#SoftPowerProject #MindBodyConnection #Healing #SelfDiscovery
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