I am so glad that people are finally recognizing my celebrity status.  Please send thoughts and prayers for my impending camera shoved up my asshole moment. 

Radiation is finished, vibes are mediocre, and I'm hitting the streets of Boston again.  Except not because Omicron is here and has made her presence known.  

Everyone in this world needs a Nespresso, you're welcome in advance.  Have you ever gone through life and realized the whole world has seen your tits?  No?  Just me?  Okay, cool. 

I can't shit, I can't sleep, and I can't feel my tits.  Send emotional support dogs please and something to help me shit because good lord!

Bed pans are not made for ladies like me.  Also, what kind of drugs do they put in the anesthesia that makes you want to order $65 Nordstrom PJ's, just wondering. 

I got needles shoved in my face so you know that shit is about to get good.  Buckle up and hold on to your zucchinis. 

Do Olympic gymnasts have to deal with an episode of diarrhea for a week long straight?  Didn't think so.  One day I'll learn how to do a triple twisting back flip. 

Stop what you're doing and listen to my life after having been shitting for an entire week straight.  Send good vibes, tequila, and black and white cookies. 

We are bald.  We are here.  We are a solid c+.  We are surviving NOT thriving.  We are a bald baddie.

Would you clean up olympians shit if you were paid enough? Do you finish the race if you have just shit your pants?