Solo Parent Life | Single Parent | Divorce | Single Mom | Single Dad

My guest today is Laura Harrison, owner of Less Mess, More Life. Laura has helped make some awesome changes to my home and helped me be motivated to purge things that needed to GO. I’ve gotten organized and transformed our family room. My kids were excited and amazed when they saw the house less cluttered and more functional. Do you want to find inspiration and tips on letting go of all those toys, clothes and extra stuff? Laura has nuggets of wisdom to help you! Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• How Laura went from corporate event planning to using her innate skill in organization
• Why Laura loves empowering people to make changes and live an organized life with LESS
• Why taking control brings benefits
• Organized house=calmer mindset
• Getting organized doesn’t mean spending a fortune!
• How Laura helps clients
• How to deal with family heirlooms
• Laura’s process: the walkthrough and the playbook
• The #1 excuse people use? “I don’t have time!”
• Getting started and staying focused
• Why you should start with the linen closet
• Tips if you’re ready to dive in:
• • Put “donate” bags in every room
  • Walk through and see what needs to be purged
  • Let things go!
• The emotional attachment to THINGS (and the actual grief in letting them go)
• Why minimalism can be a scary word

Resources:

www.lessmessmorelife.com

Find Laura on Facebook and Instagram, too!

If you enjoyed learning about the Hand In Hand approach to connecting with your children and you would like to know more, you will really gain a lot from today's show, with Robin Setchko as guest. Robin was the leader of the Hand In Hand Intensive Group, which was featured in episode 23 of this show (Parenting Through Connection www.soloparentlife.com/23). Listen in today, as she talks to Robbin about her work with Hand In Hand and how it's helped her, both as a professional and as a  parent.

Robin, who lives in Northern California, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and she's also the parent of two young adults, a twenty-five year old daughter and a twenty-two year old son. She works a lot with parents and also with individuals. More and more of her work has moved towards working with parents, as she's found that raising children and wanting the best for them has shown to be a really effective way to bring things up in parents, that need to be worked on. Listen in today and find out more about how you can move closer to your children, as you move things out of the way.

Today, Robin and Robbin discuss:

• That Robbin finds the Hand In Hand way of helping people learn how to coach others through first doing it themselves in their own lives, to be really powerful.
• How long Robin has been a Hand In Hand instructor and how she first got involved with it.
• That there is the sense with parents that they need to do something, yet it's not that, it's about really listening.
• That often, just your presence with your children is enough.
• Robin explains what is meant by processing emotions.
• How people recover through the proper processing of emotions.
• How children grow, neurologically through this process and how this forms the foundation for good relationships later on in life.
• The unique and transformative effect of the deep and warm support that Robin received from other parents with Hand In Hand and how it impacted on so many other areas in her life.
• What the Stay Listening concept looks like.
• How being heard helps you to think better.
• That all parents really do tend to relate to each other in a profound way.
• How Robin has seen this process work with the families that she works with.
• The parallel process that parents go through while raising their children.
• The relief of just 'saying it as it is' and not having to put a good spin on things.
• The passionate journey of loving your children.
• What Robin says to parents who think that this approach will indulge their children's inappropriate behavior.
• The more often that your children can recover, in your presence, the less likely they will be to behave inappropriately.
• How children learn, through this process, that they can trust that you will help them.
• The role of faith in this process.
• That, through this process, children eventually come to know that they're heading for a meltdown and will then look to 'offload' to you, or to someone safe.

Links:

Robin's email: [email protected]

Robbin's email: [email protected]  - To join Robbin's upcoming Parent Group, put 'Parent Group' in the subject line and email her.

If you would like to find a new and effective way to really connect with your children, you will gain a lot from Robbin's guest on today's show, Patty Wipfler. Listen in today, to find out about Patty's loving way of listening.

Warm and compassionate Patty, who has worked with thousands of families over many years,  is the author of the book Listen, which offers some groundbreaking tools for parents, to help to strengthen their connection with their children and to build their children's intelligence, cooperation and their ability to learn. Join Robbin and Patty today to get some really great listening tools and learn how to address the root cause of your child's difficult behavior. 

Today, Patty talks to Robbin about:

• Her childhood and how it lead her to believe that she was going to become a great mom.
• How she came to realize that she was in trouble as a mom.
• How her emotional dam burst when someone really listened to her, which lead to her joining a Listening Class.
• The Listening Classes and how they evolved to listening to children.
• The emotional support that parents need, in order to be good and loving parents.
• How children's confidence erodes when their parents don't get emotional support.
• How she really understands from her own experience, just how isolating life can be for single parents.
• How having your own tantrums can help you to pay warm attention to a child doing the same.
• How to support someone with real care.
• How warm support can really help to heal the hurts of parents.
• Special Time, another simple and powerful listening tool that really enhances the connection of parents with their children.
• Laughter, a really great medicine for parents and children.
• The benefits of having a regular practice of connecting with your child.
• Ways to get your kids back into their right mind.

Links:

Patty's website: www.handinhandparenting.org

If you're a parent going through a difficult transition in your life and you could really use some support, listen in to today's show, with Robbin's guest, Tricia Wiig, and find out how she assists mothers through her faith-based support.

Tricia is the Director of Children and Family Ministries at United Methodist in New Valley and she also runs a faith-based support group for mothers. She has a wonderful way of talking to people about how to move through different life transitions and how to tap in, incorporate and thrive around their faith. Today she talks to Robbin about faith and about remembering how important it really is to have faith to ground you, when you're going through transitions in life- even that of becoming a parent. Listen in to find out more.

Today, Tricia talks to Robbin about:

• Her Grace Within Support Group for mothers- how it works and what it has to offer.
• How she helps people to remember their faith when they're going through a difficult time, with songs and stories.
• Using Godly Play, a Sunday School Curriculum and a model for worship to help children and parents.
• Tricia shares some sacred stories that she finds to be really meaningful and uses to help children.
• Remembering that your faith is always with you, no matter how difficult the situation may be.
• That there is no one way to find your faith, so it's important to remain open and remember that there are many things that can give you insight.
• Tricia shares one of the questions that she asks the people in her group, to help them build their self-respect and self-esteem.
• Asking yourself questions as a way to open yourself up to new possibilities.

Are you co-parenting with someone who you suspect to be a narcissist? If you would like to find out if this is actually so and what you can do in that case,  listen in to today's show, with Robbin's expert guest, Wendy Behary, who has a really deep understanding of narcissism, having worked with narcissists for more than twenty-five years and find out how to deal with the situation. 

Wendy, who has a private practice in Springfield, New Jersey, is the author of the book Disarming The Narcissist- Surviving and Thriving With The Self-Absorbed. As a trained psychotherapist, she spends most of her time educating the general public and other clinicians around the world about how to work with the very challenging narcissistic client. She also teaches people how to deal with narcissism in their lives. Wendy stumbled on this as her specialty, through her curiosity about her own reactions in the treatment room, when she was confronted with narcissists. She found herself reacting as she would have as a little girl - caving in and apologizing, rather than responding as an adult therapist. This was a start to her adventure of learning and teaching about narcissism. Listen in today and to find out more about how to handle the narcissistic behavior of a co-parent and set yourself free from the associated drama.

Today, Wendy and Robbin discuss:

• How to identify someone who is narcissistic.
• Gaslighting- What that means.
• The impact that narcissists tend to have on those who are close to them.
• The difficulty of raising children within a narcissistic relationship.
• Wendy's advice for single parents who are raising children with a narcissistic co-parent.
• The use of empathic confrontation when dealing with a narcissist.
• How understanding narcissism helps you to deal with narcissistic people.
• What empathic confrontation looks like.
• Why many people tend to avoid confrontation.
• That the motivational driver is not to change the narcissist, but rather to change yourself in your responses to them.
• How you can help your kids to deal with a narcissistic parent.
• How you can model for your kids by empathizing with their situation.

Links: 

Wendy's website: www.disarmingthenarcissist.com

My guest today is Anya Manes, whose work I’ve followed for a while. She educates parents about talking to their kids about sex, holding workshops and webinars especially for parents of tweens. After dealing with awkwardness and strife in her family surrounding sex, she became a high school biology teacher and realized the need. She explains practically how to handle these difficult topics with your child, and why you shouldn’t wait until the middle school years to have these discussions!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• The norm: a scary, powerful view of sex
• Anya’s years as a high school biology teacher
• Why she left teaching to pursue motherhood and supporting parents in sex education
• Advice to parents about creating a safe space
• Communicating the rules and boundaries about physical bodies
• Anya’s book recommendations for parents
• The “Answering Questions BRAVELY Formula”
• • B--Take a deep breath
  • R--Recognize and affirm your child
  • A—Ask why they are asking
  • V—Investigate further
  • E—Evaluate your circumstances
  • L—Give the lowdown, but follow the two-sentence rule
  • Y—Your values
• Anya’s free interview series

Resources:

www.talkingaboutsex.com

www.talktokidsaboutsexseries.com  (Anya’s resources)

Sex is a Funny Word by Cory Silverberg

Would you like to know more about the concept of temperament and how it can give you a clearer picture of who you are? Or would you simply like to be able to appreciate others more than you do now? If this rings true for you, listen in today and find out as Stacey Horn, the guest on today's show, spells it out.

Stacey is an ever-evolving social worker, who specializes in relationships. She has been working as a therapist in Aspen, Colorado for the last twenty-five years and now also works with people online. Stacey, who is passionate about the concept of temperament (or personality), has recently been doing a lot of coaching, which she sees as an educational process. She works mainly with families and couples who are no longer together. Listen in and find out more about temperament and how it makes sense out of relationships.

Today, Stacey talks to Robbin about:

• How her understanding of temperament helps her in her work with parents.
• How she first became interested in the concept of temperament.
• How personality relates to temperament.
• Why she likes Ray Lincoln's model of Innerkinetics.
• The four types of temperaments.
• A story of how she and her husband have shifted in dealing with their daughter, who has a different temperament type.
• The gift of no longer taking things personally.
• How to manage time management issues more effectively.
• How Stacey meets with her husband, who is a different type of temperament, through this method.
• The new awareness, which re-frames entire relationships, that can be found through this method.

Links: 

Stacey's website: www.staceyhorn.com

Stacey's phone no. 970 616 44 01

Stacey's Podcast: The Deeper Connections Podcast (Soon to be launched)

Robbin's website: www.soloparentlife.com

Resources:

Books: I May Frustrate You, But I'm a Keeper by Ray W. Lincoln

           I'm Still A Keeper by Ray W. Lincoln

           Innerkinetics by Ray W. Lincoln

If you would love to really connect with your kids on a deeper level, but you're battling to keep your head above water with the daily demands of life as a single mom or dad, listen in today and find out how you can adopt a new and more effective approach to parenting.

Today's guest, Julie King is co-author of the book How To Talk So Your Little Kids Will Listen. After completing Law School and having had her first child, Julie became aware of how people were talking to their children and realized that most people knew nothing of the approach to child rearing that she, herself had been raised with. When her daughter was in pre-school and Julie was studying Group Facilitation and Group Development, she offered to read a workshop-style book on child rearing to a parent group at the school. Due to the demand from the parents attending this group, it continued way beyond the initial eight week period and eventually turned into an ongoing support group for the next four and a half years! Other people heard about it, so Julie was asked to facilitate other groups and this is how Julie found herself involved with something fantastic, that she had not planned on doing. Listen in and find out how Julie conferred with her old friend Joanna Faber, who was doing similar work on the East Coast and how they ended up writing a book together. You're going to find this conversation really helpful!

Due to the demand from the parents attending this group, it continued way beyond the initial eight week period and eventually turned into an ongoing support group for the next four and a half years! Other people heard about it, so Julie was asked to facilitate other groups and this is how Julie found herself involved with something fantastic, that she had not planned on doing. Listen in and find out how Julie conferred with her old friend Joanna Faber, who was doing similar work on the East Coast and how they ended up writing a book together. You're going to find this conversation really helpful!

Today, Julie talks to Robbin about:

• How Julie grew up with Joanna, the daughter of Adele Faber, who wrote the book How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And How To Listen So Kids Will Talk, in 1980.
• The influence that Adele Faber had on Julie's life.
• What motivated Julie and Joanna to write their book.
• How challenging it can be to be a mom 24/7.
• How her book can help parents to deal with their child's emotions- and their own.
• The connection between how kids feel and how they behave.
• How our intuition can lead us astray.
• The challenge of responding to negative behavior in the moment.
• The general orientation of her approach.
• How to encourage cooperation in your kids that's respectful and realistic- and gets them out the door in the mornings!
• Kids don't like being told what to do.
• Problem-solving with your kids.
• Her advice to parents who get angry, or battle to remain calm and think creatively in the moment.
• How we all need time to work anger out of our bodies.
• How to deal with your kid's sibling rivalry.
• Julie's workshops for parents, in the Bay Area.
• Julie's hope to develop a supportive community of parents.

Links:

Julie's website: www.julieking.org

Julie's Book's Website: www.howtotalksoyourlittlekidswilllisten.com

Robbin's website: www.soloparentlife.com – For the infographic for when parents are stressed.

Facebook Group: Solo Parent Life

We’ve all had moments where we felt negative space between ourselves and our children.  It’s important to find ways to connect with them in those times, in the happy times, and in the sad times. But, sometimes as parents, we need to listen and be supportive and leave space to let them release feelings.  This isn’t about making wrong or right decisions, but allowing them the moments to separate those feelings so that they can make good decisions. Learn how to manage these feelings and handle these situations by tuning into Solo Parent Life, with your host, Robbin Rockett. 

• How to deal with kids when they have a hard time with separation 
• Getting to the root of the problem 
• Understanding the problem and how to deal with it 
• Just listening and not offering a bribe or solution
• Just hanging in there with your child and not being impatient 
• Taking time to spend with all your kids and listen 
• Avoid redirecting their feelings 
• Connecting with your children and creating time to connect gives them the tools to make good decisions 

Resources:

HandinHand.org

If you're unsure about dating as a single parent, or how to introduce a new partner to your kids, listen in and find out from today's guest, Nettie Reynolds, how single, yet supportive co- parenting has really worked for her and her partner.

Nettie, a positive and supporting person with integrity and courage, is a storyteller, a performer, a Hospital Chaplain and the single mom of two young adults. Listen in today and discover how she has managed to incorporate her partner into her life with her kids successfully and in a truly unique way- perhaps a way that could work for you too.

Today, Nettie talks to Robbin about:

• Her transition from being married to being a single mom.
• Her rationale behind her crazy trip with her kids to the Grand Canyon to bury her wedding ring.
• How she learned that no matter what you do, as long as you're safe and productive, it's going to be okay.
• Her use of the word 'transition' rather than the word 'divorce' and the positive effect that it had on her kids.
• When and how she introduced dating into her single parent life.
• How she went about introducing her new sweetheart to her kids.
• How she and her sweetheart helped each other to get up and get going, when things got tough.
• How she and her sweetheart have approached the integration of their two families, without co-habitation.
• The importance of not being defined by your gender, as a single parent.
• How their decision not to blend their families has taken a lot of the pressure off.
• Why it is important for you to date, as a single parent.
• How she coped during her early transition, with the help of pajama- jeans and long lasting lipstick.

Links:

Nettie's website: www.nettiereynolds.net

Nettie on Twitter: @netreynolds

Robbin's email: [email protected]

For Robbin's infographic, go to: www.soloparentlife.com

Nettie recommends: Listen To Your Mother on Youtube.