Solo Parent

This week we're discussing Learning to Protect Your Most Valuable Resources

As solo parents, it can feel like our time, energy, money, and even our words are always up for grabs. We pour out for our kids, our work, our communities, and even good things like church or helping friends, until we suddenly realize we are running on empty. In this episode, we talk honestly about the pain of feeling constantly depleted, the resentment that can grow when we overgive, the guilt that surfaces when we try to say no, and the anxiety that comes from feeling like our money and schedule are always out of control. These things matter because if we do not treat our lives as sacred, no one else will, and our kids will learn from whatever example we set.

Today, we cover three main points:

• Why holding things sacred matters
• How boundaries help protect what really matters
• Practical ways to hold things sacred in everyday life

If you are exhausted from giving and feel like there is nothing left for you, you are not broken or failing. You may simply be pouring from a cup that has not been refilled in a very long time. Learning to hold your time, energy, and money as sacred is not selfish. It is a way of honoring the fact that your life and your story matter. When you protect what is valuable in you, you are better able to show up with patience, clarity, and tenderness for the people you love most. You have permission to pause, to say no, and to build new patterns that match the kind of life you know you are worth living.

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This week we're discussing The Truth We Don't Want to Face.

When betrayal, ongoing conflict, or a child's escalating behavior keeps reopening old wounds, it's easy to reduce people to their worst moments. That mindset feels protective, yet it shrinks our capacity for peace, models bitterness to our kids, and keeps us tethered to pain. Marissa Lee, author and single parent, joins Robert and Elizabeth to unpack how learning to separate a person's worth from their actions helps us heal, set clearer boundaries, and stay grounded in dignity—ours and theirs.

Today, we cover three main points:

• Contempt dehumanizes. What contempt looks like, how it spreads in our homes and culture, and why it leaves relationships stuck.
• Compassion expands our capacity. How extending dignity to others softens the shame within us and frees our energy for what matters.
• Practical ways to see worth. Simple, repeatable steps to move from judgment to curiosity, from reactivity to agency, including naming our feelings, resetting expectations, and choosing actions that align with our values.

Seeing someone's humanity isn't excusing harm—it's refusing to let contempt define you. Curiosity builds bridges; ask "why" before deciding "who" someone is. Your children feel how you speak about the other parent, and honoring their other parent protects your child's sense of self. Boundaries require agency—state what you will do and follow through.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

• The Gottman Institute – Research from Dr. John Gottman on how contempt is one of the strongest predictors of relationship breakdown.
• Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff – A book exploring how self-compassion can heal shame and foster emotional resilience.
• Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend – A guide to setting healthy limits that protect your peace and relationships.
• Dr. Becky at Good Inside – A parenting resource offering practical tools for setting structure, building connection, and guiding kids through emotional growth.

We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Submit your listener questions HERE.

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Divorce can make it feel like your story is over…like joy, purpose, and belonging are things of the past. The shame and stigma can convince you that you're somehow disqualified from hope. But what if your worth didn't end with that loss? What if you're still fully capable of building something new, beautiful, and whole?

Today, we cover three main points:

• How to reimagine a life you still deserve
• How to create belonging for your kids in a new season
• How the church can better support solo parents and those healing from divorce

Lysa TerKeurst, President and Chief Visionary Officer, Proverbs 31 Ministries, shares her story of heartbreak and resilience, describing the end of her 29-year marriage as the "death of the future" she thought she'd have. Through small, faithful steps, she learned to rebuild her life piece by piece. She reminds us that God's heart is not against those who've endured divorce but for their protection and restoration.

Lysa also challenges churches to move beyond fear and become safe places for single parents, places where people can heal, belong, and find hope again. And for parents navigating the aftermath, she offers this reminder: different doesn't mean bad. Creating new traditions and inside jokes can restore stability and joy for your children, even when life looks unfamiliar.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Surviving an Unwanted Divorce by Lysa TerKeurst with Dr. Joel Muddamalle and Jim Cress: A compassionate, biblically grounded guide that helps readers navigate the pain, shame, and loneliness of divorce while discovering hope, healing, and a renewed sense of purpose in God.

• Proverbs 31 Ministries: A global, faith-based organization that equips women to know the truth of God's Word and live it out with confidence in everyday life.

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Many single parents carry old stories that say you will never measure up. Those messages show up as shame from past failures, comparison to intact families, and a drive to perform or please. Left unchallenged, they shape how you parent, relate, and see yourself. In this episode, Amber Fuller, a counselor with a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy (MMFT), joins Robert and Elizabeth to unpack the distorted "cracked mirrors" we often look into, and how to start seeing ourselves through the truth of our worth.

Today, we cover three main points:

• Cracked mirrors that distort worth
• Shifting perspective to a truer source
• Stepping into everyday worth

Your worth is not a prize you earn. It is a reality you return to. When old stories shout, treat them as cracked mirrors, not final verdicts. Choose one simple practice today that moves you toward truth, like writing down a moment you showed up with honesty or tenderness. Share it with a safe person. Small, repeated choices will reshape your reflection over time, and the life you are building from worth will feel more grounded, more connected, and more you.

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This week we're discussing What to Do When Self-Care Seems Impossible

Solo parents often feel squeezed by nonstop responsibilities, financial strain, cultural pressure to be endlessly strong, and isolation that makes help hard to ask for. "Self care" can even feel like a trigger when planning it adds guilt on top of exhaustion. These pain points matter because chasing idealized me time can keep us stuck. Reframing care as something we sometimes practice with our kids helps restore connection and models healthy boundaries in real life.

Today, we cover three main points:

• Why me time is not always realistic for solo parents
• How "us care" builds connection and rest at the same time
• Practical ways to create shared rhythms of care with your kids

If "me time" feels out of reach, do not wait for perfect conditions. Choose one small shared rhythm this week, make it simple, and repeat it. Presence is the point. When care becomes something you practice together, home can feel safer for your kids and more restorative for you.

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This week we're discussing When Self-Preservation Keeps You Stuck

Many single parents build needed walls after loss or overwhelm. Those walls help you breathe again, yet they can start to box you in. This episode addresses three pain points that keep you stuck: survival patterns that outlive their purpose, mistaking safety for thriving, and the courage it takes to reengage with people and opportunities. This matters because healing asks for compassion toward what protected you and small, steady risks that help you grow.

Today, we cover three main points:

• How to know when self preservation has outlived its purpose
• Why feeling safe is not the same as living fully
• How to honor the past and choose the future

When you can honor the ways you once kept yourself safe without letting them define what comes next, healing begins. Growth doesn't happen in comfort, it happens when you stretch toward something new while remembering you can always return to your safe place when you need it.

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We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Submit your listener questions HERE.

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This week we're discussing the Three Things Robbing You of Self-Care

Many single parents are told to "take care of yourself," yet what looks like rest can quietly drain us. Performance disguised as self care, doing everything alone, and endless comparison often leave us more depleted, ashamed, or isolated. Add in escapism, toxic positivity, or rumination, and we miss what our hearts actually need. These patterns matter because they stall healing, strain relationships, and keep us stuck in survival when what we really want is peace, presence, and energy for what matters most.

Today, we cover three main points:

• Three survival mechanisms disguised as self care
• The hidden costs of false self care
• How to tell healthy from harmful

Self care does not have to be fancy to be faithful. Pay attention to what leaves you more present, more connected, and more at ease, and keep choosing that.

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This week we're discussing Why Self-Care Can Trigger Single Parents

For many single parents, the idea of self-care doesn't feel like a gift. It can feel selfish, unrealistic, or even triggering when you're already carrying the full weight of responsibility. This conversation explores the complicated relationship single parents often have with self-care, why it sometimes feels like a weapon, why the myths around it can be harmful, and how to redefine it in a way that actually builds resilience.

Today, we cover three main points:

• When self-care gets weaponized
• The myths of self-care
• Redefining self-care for real life

When you've been told to just "take more time for yourself," it can feel dismissive. But when self-care is redefined as everyday disciplines and intentional choices that align with your real needs, it becomes a tool for healing and strength, not shame or guilt.

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This week we're discussing How to Create Adventure at Home

Life as a single parent can feel like pure survival. The weight of responsibilities, constant demands, and unexpected setbacks can strip away joy and leave us feeling stuck. Our guest, Helen Smallbone, co-founder of MUMLife, author, and mother of seven, shares how reframing hardship into adventure can cultivate presence, gratitude, and resilience for the whole family.

Today, we cover three main points:

• How survival mode robs us of presence and joy.
• Why reframing hard circumstances into adventure builds resilience for us and our kids.
• The role of gratitude and perspective in unlocking creativity and hope.

When we live in survival mode, our ability to notice joy or wonder gets clouded. Helen describes treating an empty, furniture-less house like a family "camping trip," which turned scarcity into connection and play. She reminds us that kids do not need perfection. They need perspective. When we choose gratitude and invite them into the process, they often help us see God's provision in ways we would miss. Resilience grows not by dodging pain but by facing it together, choosing a hopeful lens, and taking the next right step.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• MUMLife: A ministry co-founded by Helen to create safe spaces where mothers encourage and uplift one another through authentic connection, biblical teaching, and shared experience.

• Unsung Hero: A feature film inspired by the Smallbone family's journey of loss, faith, and resilience, showing how God provided for them in unexpected ways.

We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Submit your listener questions HERE.

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This week we're discussing the fact that Solo Doesn't Mean Stuck: Building Resilience

Solo parents carry a heavy load. The constant decisions, financial pressure, and emotional weight can leave you tired, second-guessing yourself, and stuck. It helps to name the traps that keep you from moving forward, like confusing resilience with powering through, camping out in feelings without taking the next step, or looping in imposter syndrome and analysis paralysis. This episode offers a clearer view of resilience and simple ways to practice it so you can keep showing up for yourself and your kids.

Today, we cover three main points:

• What resilience is and what it is not
• What keeps us stuck
• How to train your brain for resilience

You do not have to perfect this to make progress. Start small. Be kind to yourself, lean into community, and right-size today's challenge. Let your kids see you breathe, name a feeling, and take one next step. Over time, those small steps build a new kind of strength.

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We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Submit your listener questions HERE.

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