Solo Parent Podcast

Welcome to part one of a series on dating as a solo parent! It’s easy to look outside of ourselves to find someone to love.  Swiping right or updating our profile with good-looking selfies is an exercise in creating the future we think will make us happy.  But what happens when we take a look in the mirror and see what IS? Who are we?  What do we want?  What is best for our kids?  Tune in for some tips on phase one of  getting back into the dating pool as solo-by-choice, divorced, or widowed parents.

In this episode, I talk about…

[2:17] Identity as a solo parent

[4:22] Getting to know yourself before dating

[5:11] Taking yourself on dates

[5:52] Falling in love with your life

Getting to know who you are as an individual is one of the best parts of being a solo, divorced, or widowed person.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth it.

Website: https://soloparentmag.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/soloparentpodcast

Facebook: https://facebook.com/soloparentnation

Got stress? Feeling alone? We got you.  Tune in and get ready to sing with survivors, Joly Herman, Christopher Stibbs, and Munchie Herman in this bonus episode.

I don’t know how often you get out to sing karaoke anymore, but if you’re game, we’re game. I have Christopher Stibbs, a professional who works in a domestic violence shelter (and my guest from episode 17), and Munchie Herman, our in-house therapy dog and amazing vocalist, singing with me on this track.

If you do anything today, find a quiet spot and put in your earbuds - maybe not too loud - and sing along with us, karaoke style.  It feels good!

[0:54] Karaoke: I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor, 1978)

We’re rooting you on all the way, Solo Nation, everything you might be going through. You are a victor, not a victim. And remember-- we might be solo, but we are not alone.

Connect with Christopher:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/christopherstibbs/

Resources:

https://newhousekc.org/

https://www.thehotline.org/

Sometimes, the relationship a parent is in becomes unbearable. But what qualifies as abuse? And how do you get your kids out of a dangerous situation? 

Today, we are going to talk about getting safe, staying safe, and recovering from an abusive situation with the help of our guest, Christopher Stibbs, Director of Philanthropic Engagement at Newhouse Domestic Violence Shelter in Kansas City, MO. Before he was in this fundraising role, Christopher was an advocate at Newhouse. He answered hotline calls and helped individuals and families out of crisis situations and into a safe place.

In this episode, we discuss…

[2:03] How Christopher started working in a domestic violence shelter

[4:35] What it looks like when someone arrives at a domestic violence shelter

[6:12] How children are cared for at the shelter

[8:29] A day in the life at a domestic violence shelter

[11:22] Recovering from the trauma of abuse

[12:51] Moving out of the shelter

[15:36] How abusive situations in childhood can impact adult relationships

[16:13] What qualifies as abuse

[19:35] Everyone is worthy of help

[20:32] Statistics on relational violence

[22:46] Helping our kids to avoid abusive relationships

[26:46] Domestic violence and the legal system

[28:21] The cycle of abuse

[29:56] Support for children who have experienced abuse

[32:08] A success story 

[35:12] Christopher’s book project

Families who need to heal can find help in their communities. The more you know about issues like domestic violence, the better prepared you will be to teach your children about staying safe.

Connect with Christopher:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/christopherstibbs/

Resources:

https://newhousekc.org/

https://www.thehotline.org/

Today I’m going to talk about pets in solo-by-choice, divorced, widowed, and blended family homes.  These are pets in homes where stability is desperately needed, and where friendship and companionship are most welcome.  Today is all about the animals who make our homes feel like home.  Today I have, in studio with me, the little rock in our world who has been there through thick and thin - the one who gives us comfort when we’re sad - the one and only, Munchie Herman.

In this episode, we talk about…

[1:04] Joly’s search for a pet after becoming a single parent

[3:45] Why having a pet is important to the divorced, widowed, solo-by-choice, or blended family

Pets are therapeutic for the whole family - especially the non-traditional family!

Website: https://soloparentmag.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/soloparentpodcast

Facebook: https://facebook.com/soloparentnation

Are you looking for a solo mom icon?  Someone who flies to Puerto Rico to film the show she and her writing partner created?  Who is a go-to for studios who want hit TV shows? A podcast host? And who’s rocking this with her young daughter by her side? In this episode, we have the pleasure of speaking with legendary TV writer Sarah Fain.  Sarah chose to be a solo mom, and she’s all that. Today we’re chatting about how this role model thinks, and how her daughter has transformed her life.

In this episode, we talk about…

[5:26] Working as a solo parent in a field that requires travel

[6:59] The bond between a solo parent and a child

[9:16] Traveling with a child as a solo parent

[11:04] The decision to become a solo parent by choice

[14:54] Conversations with others about having a non-traditional family

[17:13] Sarah’s industry and its impact on solo parenthood

[19:09] Solo parent role models

[22:38] How Sarah’s experience as a solo parent has influenced her writing and her work

[30:37] Sarah’s tips and tricks that make solo parenting easier for her

Solo parents can achieve whatever they put their minds to.  Take inspiration from icons like Sarah Fain -- and go big!

CONNECT WITH SARAH:

https://www.instagram.com/sfain/

https://twitter.com/sarahmfain

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1175413/#producer

https://happierinhollywood.com/

Today I’m sharing more books and media to inspire and support non-traditional families.  As a day gig, I work as a book and TV reviewer for Common Sense Media: an online resource that helps families navigate their media lives.  I wanted to touch on some media that could be helpful in showing your kids that their journey, as a child living in a non-traditional family, is something that other kids experience as well.  You can check out some of my previous suggestions in Episode 7.

In this episode, we talk about…

[0:45] Road Trip with Max and His Mom by Linda Urban

Book

Full Review

[1:38] The List of Things That Will Not Change by Rebecca Stead

Book

Full Review

[2:44] Things You Can’t Say by Jenn Bishop

Book 

Full Review

[3:29] Just Add Magic

TV Series

Full Review

Website: https://soloparentmag.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/soloparentpodcast

Facebook: https://facebook.com/soloparentnation

Step-parents run into all kinds of situations at home.  Just because you’ve married into a new family, does not mean you get to be the enforcer.  This episode can help you get a handle on keeping the peace, without getting over your head.  I’m sharing tips on creating structure and setting boundaries in a new blended family.

In this episode, we talk about…

[1:29] Seeing the world through the child’s eyes

[2:11] Setting firm but gentle boundaries in the home

[3:08] Who should dole out consequences

[4:04] Relating to the child

[5:54] Kids need consistent adults

Being a step-parent is not easy.  If you learn tools to keep the peace at home, however, it will pay off as time goes on.

Website: https://soloparentmag.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/soloparentpodcast

Facebook: https://facebook.com/soloparentnation

We’re all human, but starting a blended family sometimes asks us to be superhuman.  Parenting in a blended family is a different animal all together: new rules, new dynamic, new houses, new kids!  How can a person not make mistakes?

Step parents make mistakes, and we all make mistakes.  We are figuring this out as we go.  There is no one right way to do things, but I think there are things that we can avoid doing that can make our lives, and our kids’ lives, better.  In this episode, I’m going to look at often-asked questions about having a healthy blended family relationship without breaking the family balance you’re working so hard to build.

In this episode, we talk about…

[1:48] Not badmouthing the other parent

[3:05] Navigating silent expectations and creating house rules

[5:20] Building trust and cultivating a parenting relationship

[6:35] Not being jealous of your partner’s need to spend time with their kids

Being a step parent isn’t easy, and we shouldn’t expect it to be.  We can, however, take the time to observe, settle in, and let the kids suss us out while establishing boundaries so everyone feels safe.

Website: https://soloparentmag.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/soloparentpodcast

Facebook: https://facebook.com/soloparentnation

Being a responsible adult is hard enough.  Being responsible for the upbringing of kids and young people is sometimes so challenging we lose ourselves a little bit.  We give so much in service of our kids that we forget the kid in us - the one who noticed the shape of the clouds, or who listened intently to the sound of crickets at night.  We lose perspective as humans, as adults, and as parents who are parenting in divorced, widowed, blended and solo-by-choice families.  It is so important to take an opportunity to breathe and reconnect with our creative spirit every once in a while.

Today, we are joined by writer and teacher, Janine De Tillio Cammarata.  Janine is an award-winning author of seven books for kids and adults.  She conducts writing and journaling workshops to help people “become aware of their fears, blocks, life purpose, anger, emotions, and ability to heal themselves.”  I can’t think of a better person to help guide our solo parent community into a safe, creative practice that can help us to get in touch with our voices, our experiences, and our lives.

In this episode, we talk about…

[1:37] What journaling looks like in practice and why it is important for solo parents

[5:55] Starting a journaling routine

[7:43] Being honest when journaling

[9:25] Organizing and indexing a journal

[16:35] Reflecting on your voice vs. writing to others

[20:11] Beginning a journal entry

[24:57] Journaling as a coping strategy for grief

Journaling can help solo parents get grounded, creative, and in touch with ourselves.

CONNECT WITH JANINE:

https://janinedetilliocammarata.com/

https://www.instagram.com/janinecammarata/

https://twitter.com/JanineCammarata

https://www.pinterest.com/janinecammarata/journaling/

FOR INDEXING IDEAS:

https://www.bulletjournal.com

Website: https://www.soloparentmag.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soloparentpodcast

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/soloparentnation

The solo parent’s bond with a child can be incredibly strong-- for many reasons. Maybe the child spent more time with one parent, or there’s a loss due to the death of a parent that has created a crucial connection. So, what happens when that child grows up and leaves the nest? Does a solo parent’s empty nest syndrome hurt more? 

I received a message from a solo mom whose daughter is going off to college. She spoke about the feeling of loss in a way that hit me hard. I’m not there yet-- my kid is in middle school-- but her daughter is leaving the nest. “I feel like I’m losing my right arm,” she said. I’m going to address this type of grief in this episode and look at how we cope with different levels of grief in a few episodes here, because people in our tent of divorced, widowed, blended and solo-by-choice families deal with grief with a frequency and intensity that parents in traditional families don’t necessarily have to.

In this episode, we talk about…

[0:43] The solo parent’s relationship with grief

[2:38] Becoming aware that you are experiencing feelings of loss, and taking time for self care

[4:58] Being proactive

[5:41] Getting enough exercise

[6:49] Taking it one day at a time

Whether saying goodbye for a few days, a month away, or for a semester at school, when a kid leaves a solo parents’ home, it’s a meaningful event. You don’t need to combat the feelings. But easing into acceptance of the situation will help you spread your wings, Solo Nation, while your kids are spreading theirs.

Website: https://www.soloparentmag.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soloparentpodcast

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/soloparentnation