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Produced and performed by RelaxWithMe.
Based on "The Confrontation" by Claude-Michel Schönberg and Herbert Kretzmer from the musical "Les Misérables".
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Chalmers: Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
Skinner: Ah. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
Skinner: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Ha ha ha, Delightfully devilish, Seymour.
Skinner: Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill.
Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Uh- Oh.That isn't smoke. By god, It's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm mmmm. Steamed clams.
Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Skinner:Yes. It's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?
Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams.
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression.
Chalmers:You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
Chalmers: For steamed hams.
Chalmers: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Skinner: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.
Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there?
Skinner: Aurora Borealis.
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis, here?
Aurora, at this time of year?
Aurora, at this time of day?
And in this part of the country?
within your room of cookery?
I must gaze behind that door
May I see it then, Seymour?
Skinner: Believe of me what you will.
There is a duty I’m sworn to do.
You know nothing of the lights.
They’re a hazard to your eyes!
I am warning you, SuperIntendant.
I have stronger eyes by far.
Skinner’s Mother: Seymour! The house is on fire!
Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the northern lights.
Skinner: And this I swear to you tonight.
Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow.
Skinner: The aurora will live within my care.
Chalmers: But I must say.
Skinner: And I’ll endure the Northern Lights.
Skinner & Chalmers: I swear to you, you (I) steam a good ham.
Skinner’s Mother: Help! Help!
