In this episode, we talk about the moment that changed everything in my life as a young 16 almost 17 year old.

We discussed the fear of aging out, my headspace during my 19-day engagement, and why Katee was so adamant about finding me the perfect dress.

Thanks for tuning in.

Hosts:
Katee Robey
Esther Rimert

Podcast Instagram: @youdidntaskpodcast
Esther's Instagram: @estherrimert
Katee's Instagram: @kateerobey

Produced by:
Esther Rimert

Hey Guys, It's Esther.

I wanted to say a little something about this episode beforehand to help you understand where I am coming from.

Even though my sister and I seem pretty lighthearted about my engagement, that doesn't mean talking about it wasn't difficult. 

This topic has always been tender to me. I used to burst into tears when I first told people about it. I pitted myself and still had so much pain and confusion from it.

Only within the past few days did I realize that sharing my story, even if some people don't want me to or are triggered by it, it's OK. 

Sometimes we think our pains are the biggest iceberg that will topple us if we get too close, but that is not true.

The truth is that with time, you can get right up to that giant ole iceberg and stand on it if you wish. 

I used to worry a lot about hurting others by telling my story. The parents, his parents, my ex, I didn't want them to feel bad or uncomfortable. 

But then I ask myself, why can't I tell the truth of it? Why should I not tell my story? Why is it too much?

My story belongs to me. I am not putting anyone down or trying to hurt anyone. I am simply saying what happened and talking about how I felt about it.

 I no longer need to babysit others' emotions. My intentions are good, and I never desire to hurt someone by telling my story.

I still struggle to label what type of marriage it was. Some people say no doubt it was arranged, and then other people tell me it wasn't. I've been told that everything would have been stopped if I had gone to X person and said I wasn't ready. I frequently call it a pressured marriage.

However, Today, the label doesn't matter. When I think about it, I was a young teen that had no clue about marriage. I didn't know how to be a wife.

I didn't have the natural feelings of a blushing bride. I was out of touch with my emotions and immature. I was interested in him, but I didn't know him.

I wanted to choose my partner, but I felt it was too late to slow things down.

We were two young teens that went through some of our most challenging years together. We survived a cult together, came out of a cult together, and started to find ourselves together. It wasn't easy.

That's all I wanted to say. 
Enjoy the episode.