Right after World Cup Soccer, the Eurovision Song Contest is the most coveted prize, with enormous cultural cachet. Arranged by an assembly of state television channels in Europe, the Middle East, and -- yes -- Australia, each nation selects a song + performance to represent them in this internationally televised program. Håvard Bamle and Michael Prince share offhand and deeply considered remarks and observations on the 2026 contest. In Part 1, the contest itself, the use of English as the language of performance, and the contestant nations that came out the worst for it are discussed.