RE-RELEASE

Trigger warning. This episode has some discussion about suicide.

Ansel speaks about his father, Charles, who passed away in 2018 from kidney and heart complications after he stopped taking his medication.

Ansel discusses losing his father, navigating his new normal, and his many struggles with his “grief shroud”, a way to describe the emotions that can come over you while dealing with the loss of a loved one. Ansel recognizes that the condolences and well-wishes were well-meaning, but he wasn’t in a place to receive them. While he also better understands where patience truly comes from - as a parent and going through grief.

When he asked for a sign that his father made it to heaven, he saw a red cardinal that gave him peace. His experience is similar to what Lashelle experienced in Lashelle & Linda.

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

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Hosted by: CJ

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CJ speaks with Pam who lost her father, Hollis, in February.

Pam discusses the relationship that she has with Hollis and how they were able to more fully develop their relationship before he died. Even though Hollis wanted a more casual memorial service, Pam and her siblings decided to have a Scottish wake.

Grief has surprised Pam as she adjusts to living without her father present.

References about a Scottish Wake:

1. CUNY
2. Visit Dunkeld

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

Instagram (@SorryToHearPod)

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Hosted by: CJ

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Join the host, CJ, as she discusses her own struggles with grief and loss after losing her mother to a car accident in 2017.

Reflecting on “the fog”, the confusion of not knowing where to turn when she expected her mother to be there forever, and forgiveness are tackled in the first episode of the brand new podcast, Sorry To Hear That.

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

Instagram (@SorryToHearPod)

Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen.

Hosted by: CJ

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Marcus lost his mother, Brenda, right before Christmas of his senior year of high school 17 years ago.

As he has made big choices and little choices, including college, graduate school (twice), ministry, and now in his second church as a pastor - Brenda has missed a lot.

The conversation with Marcus is about grief and loss, but, perhaps more importantly, also about wonder, curiosity, and the big “what if”. What if his mother had been able to see him graduate or become a pastor or preach his first sermon?

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

Instagram (@SorryToHearPod)

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Hosted by: CJ

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CJ has lost both her parents. In this episode, she talks about her father, Michael, who passed away in July 2013 as she reflects on Father’s Day.

While Michael was not her biological father, he filled a hole in her heart for a very long time and smoothed away at least some of the rough edges. They had a special relationship full of long talks and a lot of time spent together. Unfortunately, after a surprise call, CJ rushed home to be with him, and by the end of the week - he died. Michael had a tragically beautiful death in that he was able to choose what he wanted to do with his last days, and CJ, even still, can reflect on that beauty in the choice.

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

Instagram (@SorryToHearPod)

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Hosted by: CJ

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Meet Lashelle as she speaks with CJ about her mother, Linda.

Linda had “the perfect storm with the worst outcome” after suddenly falling ill and being put on life support for 10 days.

Lashelle’s life was forever changed after she received the phone call that sent her across the country to her mother’s bedside.

Exploring Lashelle’s journey and uncovering the many layers that come with grief makes her story a relatable one, including using the words, “I don’t know.”

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

Instagram (@SorryToHearPod)

Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen.

Hosted by: CJ

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CJ speaks with B. Pagels-Minor (@bpagelsminor on Instagram and Twitter) about their mother, Suzi Anne Franklin who died in 2012 of complications from Epiglottitis, a swelling of the epiglottis which is a part of the mouth located near the back of the throat.

This led to B. feeling as though they have much to accomplish in as little time as possible considering Suzi Anne died at the young age of 48. Dealing with their mother’s death, including the aftermath of a lawsuit with the hospital and the sort of normal business of death to close out the estate left B. feeling drained.

B.’s new reality was that they were angrier and, in some ways, unable to cope with the pressures of their mother’s death for several years, but meeting their now wife and partner is what made them feel like they could and should move into a better space to address the feelings and emotions that come after a catastrophic loss.

Resources:

• What is the Epiglottis?
• What is Epiglottitis?
• What are some treatments for Epiglottitis
• If you ever need to complain or bring up an issue with your or your loved one’s medical care
• What is a health center?
• Howard Brown Health, a health center with locations in the North, West, and South sides of Chicago, Illinois
• YWCA Chicago

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

Instagram (@SorryToHearPod)

Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen.

Hosted by: CJ

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CJ speaks with Halle Marenger as she talks about her infant daughter, Lilah.

While Halle had a young son at home, she and her husband were over the moon to be expecting a little girl. She would make their little family complete, especially after 3 previous miscarriages.

After many challenges and seven weeks of bed rest in the hospital, little Lilah was born on December 9, 2018, in an emergency C-section after she had stopped moving in utero. Barely 48 hours later, little Lilah died, but only after a lot of love was given to her from family near and far.

In the wake of Lilah’s death, Halle has made advocacy around infertility, baby loss, and miscarriage a part of her mission as she shares her story with others by becoming a writer, speaker, and leader around this issue.

Halle’s most recent article shares her thoughts about what Mother’s Day feels like after having experienced loss and miscarriage.

RESOURCES:
If you would like to know more about some of the subjects Halle mentioned, here are some articles to get you started:

• What is pPROM? A resource discussing ACOG guidelines, AmniSure by Qiagen, and Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.
• This Mayo Clinic article explaining placental abruption.

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

Instagram (@SorryToHearPod)

Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen.

Hosted by: CJ

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ABOUT CJ’S DIARY
CJ’s Diary is an episode where she discusses some of her thoughts from an interview or happenings in the world that may change the way we interact with the stories being told on the podcast. CJ’s Diary will evolve over time and is an opportunity to hear her unabashed thoughts.

ABOUT THIS EPISODE OF SORRY TO HEAR THAT
This week CJ discusses Mother’s Day in CJ’s Diary. It has been almost three years since she lost her mother and preparing for an Instagram takeover with Surviving Our Parents (@survivingourparents) during the next week has inspired some thoughts and ideas about what Mother’s Day, coming on May 15, will look like and feel like. This also comes with acknowledging that sometimes complicated feelings of jealousy, anger, and sadness will come to the forefront, sometimes in situations that don’t make a lot of sense.

MENTIONS

• CJ brings up that her mom’s story is bigger than just how she died, as explained in Episode 1 called I’m CJ Williams; and
• CJ mentions what it may have felt to lose a parent for an even longer time than she has, like Marcus & Brenda in Episode 3; and
• Living life in and cognizant of The Dash, a poem by Linda Ellis, that was a part of CJ’s mother’s memorial program; and
• The Hallmark commercial reminds you about how we should think about mothers, but also with the traditional “twinkly music”.

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

Instagram (@SorryToHearPod)

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Hosted by: CJ

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Kim, co-host of the podcast Millenial Vibes, joins CJ to talk about her father, Kenneth.

Their relationship was and is special - she’s daddy’s little girl through and through. Her father lost his eyesight because of a tumor that began on his retina which caused him to go blind shortly after a risky surgery. The last time he saw Kim physically, she was 10 years old.

Through it all, Kim thought of her father as her “Superman” and, unfortunately, the tumor that took his sight ultimately took his life. Kim struggles with understanding her new place in the world without her father while also newly experiencing panic and anxiety attacks, grief that doesn’t allow her to get out of bed, and dealing with the business of death while her mother cries.

She’s had to deal with death before, but not at this level. Join CJ as she talks with Kim about who her father was, who she was, and who she is now.

Transcript

We welcome your comments and feedback about the episode. Share your story or comments via email at [email protected].

Instagram (@SorryToHearPod)

Subscribe to new episodes on your favorite podcast listening app: Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcast, Spotify, Castbox, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, iHeartRadio, or wherever you like to listen.

Hosted by: CJ