This is a very important chapter. It’s one of my favorite exercises to boost my

clients’self-confidence (and my own). Its purpose is to empower you and make

you aware of what you have already achieved in your life! We are always so

centered in the things that don’t work so well or what we haven’t achieved that

we forget what we have already achieved. I’m sure that you have fantastic

achievements in your life and in this chapter you will become aware of those

past successes and use them as rocket fuel to achieve your goals and future

successes! So the big question is: What great things have you achieved in

your life so far? You put yourself through college, traveled the world, have a

great career, have lots of great friends. Maybe you lived abroad for a while all on

your own. Or maybe you have overcome a tough childhood and major personal

setbacks. Maybe you raised fantastic children. Whatever challenges you’ve

overcome or successes you have achieved—now is the time to look back and

celebrate them. Remember the chapter about focus? In this case, it means that

the more you remember and acknowledge your past successes, the more

confident you’ll become. And because you are concentrating on successes you

will see more opportunities for success! Make your list! Remind yourself of

your past successes! Give yourself a pat on the shoulder and say to yourself

“Well done!” The important thing is the experience of success! Get into the

same state that you were in, see the success once again in your mind, feel again

how it felt then!

Action Step:

1) Write down a list of the biggest successes you’ve achieved in your life!

2) Read them out loud and allow yourself to feel fantastic for what you have

accomplished!

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

Aristotle

The first step before changing your life is becoming aware of where you are and

what’s missing. Please take some time to answer the following questions.

What are your dreams in life?

______________________________ _

At the end of your life, what do you think you would most regret not having

done for yourself?

_________________________________________

If time and money were not factors, what would you like to do, be, or have?

_____________________________________

What motivates you in life?

_____What limits you in life?

____________________________________What have been your biggest wins in the last 12 months?

_________________________________________________________

What have been your biggest frustrations in the last 12 months?

____________________________________________________________

What do you do to please others?

____________________________________________________

What do you do to please yourself?

______________________________

What do you pretend not to know?

_____________________What has been the best work that you have done in your life until today? Let’s talk about values. Not in a moral or ethical way, but looking at what fuels

you and what motivates you. Being clear about and knowing your values is one

of the most important steps to getting to know yourself better. By knowing your

values, you will be able to attract more of what you want in your life. If there is a

big difference between the life you are living and your values, this might create

suffering and tension. Once you find out what your values are, you will be able

to understand yourself and your actions a lot better. When your goals are

aligned with your values you will notice that you achieve them much

quicker and hit a lot less resistance. Everything changed for me around two

years ago when I gained a clear knowledge of my values. I finally knew where

the tension and stress at my work and in my life came from (not one of my core

values was being applied!) and I could understand my reactions in various

situations a lot better. So what is really important to you? Find out what your

most important values are that bring you joy, peace, and fulfillment. From the

list of values. You may

find that you can group values. Then narrow them down to your top four

values.

Also answer the following questions: What is very important in your life?

What gives purpose to your life?

What are you usually doing when you experience that feeling of inner peace?

What are you doing that is so much fun that you usually lose track of time?

Think of some people that you admire. Why do you admire them? What kind of

qualities do you admire in them?

What activities do you enjoy the most? What kind of moments bring you joy and

fulfillment?

What can’t you put up with?

𝓘𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓭𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓶𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓮 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽. 𝓐𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓞𝓷𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓾𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝔀𝓱𝔂 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓾𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝔀𝓸 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓿𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽, 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓷 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓷…𝓔𝔁𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓼! 𝓡𝓮𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓸𝓷! 𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼? 𝓞𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓮𝓰𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮? 𝓞𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓪𝓼𝓽 𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓽? 𝓓𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓫𝓵𝓮𝓶𝓼 𝓸𝓻 𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼? 𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓬𝓻𝓾𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵! 𝓗𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓪𝔀 𝓸𝓯 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓰𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓾𝓹! 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓼𝓪𝔂 “𝓘’𝓶 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓮𝔂”, “𝓘’𝓶 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓼”, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓪𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓲𝓻 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓹𝓪𝔂, 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓮𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓰𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓾𝓽, 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓪𝓬𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸𝓸 𝓶𝓾𝓬𝓱. 𝓢𝓸 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓼? 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽! 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓸𝓷! 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓻𝓰𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓭𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓮𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭. 𝓕𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓸𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓾𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓾𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼! 𝓕𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾. 𝓤𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓼: 𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓘 𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷? 𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓘 𝓫𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓯𝓸𝓻? 𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝔀? 𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓘 𝓫𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓲𝓯 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸? 𝓘𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼? 𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓰𝓮? 𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓘 𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓷 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓲𝓽? 𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓘 𝓭𝓸 𝓽𝓸 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻?

“𝓑𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮. 𝓑𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮. 𝓘𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝔂

𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓲𝓽’𝓼 𝓪 𝓼𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓹𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓹𝓪𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶.”

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓰𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓸𝓼. 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓰𝓻𝓸𝔀𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾

𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓪 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓼𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮. 𝓖𝓮𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮

𝓱𝓪𝓫𝓲𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓭𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓭𝓸. 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓭𝓸

𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮! 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓼: 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓲𝓿𝓮

𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓰𝓻𝓾𝓭𝓰𝓮, 𝓽𝓸 𝓰𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝔁𝓽𝓻𝓪 𝓶𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓪𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓽 𝓬𝓪𝓷’𝓽 𝓫𝓮

𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓮; 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓮 100% 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓫𝓮𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓸𝓻 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓫𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰

𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓼.

𝓜𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓾𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓱𝓾𝓰𝓮 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓼, 𝓪𝓷𝓭

𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔀𝓮 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓶𝓮𝓭 𝓫𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓱𝓾𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓴 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓾𝓹 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓭𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰

𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓱𝓪𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓼. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓼𝔀𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓼: 𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂 𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓹𝓼! 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽

𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓼𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓬𝓱 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝓻𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓻𝓮 𝓪 𝓫𝓲𝓰 𝓮𝓯𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓼𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓼

𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓾𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓲𝓰𝓰𝓮𝓻 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓼.

𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓴, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓾𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾’𝓻𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓵𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓱 𝓪𝓽, 𝓸𝓻

𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓷𝓮𝔀 𝓹𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮.

𝓐𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓹𝓼:

1) 𝓓𝓸 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓼𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓭𝓪𝔂.

2) 𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓸𝔀? 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓭𝓪𝓲𝓵𝔂 𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮? 𝓔𝔁𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓲𝓼𝓮? 𝓔𝓪𝓽

𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓮𝓻?

Theodore Roosevelt Let’s talk about failure! This subject is so important and yet

so misunderstood! Paulo Coelho hits the spot when he says “There is only one

thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” The

fear of failure is the number one dream killer, but why? Why are we so afraid of

failure? Why can’t we see it like Napoleon Hill who indicated that “Every

adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or

greater benefit.” Or in other words, how would our life change if we could see

failure exactly like Napoleon Hill did? Why not see it as a learning experience

that is necessary for growth and which provides us with information and

motivation? What would happen if you could fully embrace the idea that in

reality failure is a sign that points towards progress?

Learn the “Edison Mentality”. Edison himself said things like “I failed myself to

success” or “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

This is what enabled him to bring many of his inventions to us. The man just

didn’t give up!

Accept your mistakes as feedback and learn from them! Luckily, as kids we

didn’t have the mentality which many of us have adapted as adults – because if

we did then many of us wouldn’t know how to walk! How did you learn

walking? By falling many times and always getting up again. Unfortunately,

somewhere along the road you picked up the idea that failure is something

terrible. And as a result of this nowadays we fail once and then stop doing things

simply because it didn’t work out the first time, because we got rejected, because

our business venture didn’t work out right away.

NOW is the time to change your mentality towards failure! Why don’t you look

at it in this way from now on: Every failure is a great moment in our life,

because it allows us to learn and grow from it!

Even more and more companies nowadays are shifting to a new mentality by

allowing their employees to make mistakes, because they noticed that if people

are afraid to make mistakes, creativity and innovation die and the company’s

progress slows down. At the end of the day it comes down to this: Success is the

result of right decisions. Right decisions are the result of experience, and experience is the result of wrong decisions.

Here is a story of a famous “failure” that literally failed his way to success: •

Lost job, 1832

• Defeated for legislature, 1832

• Failed in business, 1833

• Elected to legislature, 1834

• Sweetheart (Ann Rutledge) died, 1835

• Had nervous breakdown, 1836

• Defeated for Speaker, 1838

• Defeated for nomination for Congress, 1843

• Lost re-nomination, 1848

• Rejected for Land Officer, 1849

• Defeated for Senate, 1854

• Defeated for nomination for Vice-President, 1856

• Again defeated for Senate, 1858

• Elected President, 1860

This is the story of Abraham Lincoln, a man we would not exactly characterize

as a failure, would we?

Perseverance is more important than talent, intelligence, and strategy. There is

great virtue in never giving up. When life doesn’t go according to plan, keep

moving forward, no matter how small your steps are. The top two habits that

will decide between success and failure, between real change and staying in

the same place are patience and perseverance.

It’s highly possible that before success comes, there may be some obstacles in

your path. If your plans don’t work out see it as a temporary defeat, and not as a

permanent failure. Come up with a new plan and try again. If the new plan

doesn’t work out either, change it, adapt it until it works. This is the point at

which most people give up: They lack patience and persistence in working out

new plans! But watch out. Don’t confuse this with persistently pursuing a

plan that doesn’t work! If something doesn’t work…change it! Persistence

means persistence toward achieving your goal. When you encounter obstacles

- have patience. When you experience setback - have patience. When things are

not happening - have patience. Don’t throw your goal away at the first sign of

misfortune or opposition. Think of Thomas Edison and his ten thousand attempts

to make the light bulb. Fail towards success like he did! Persistence is a state of

mind. Cultivate it. If you fall down, get up, shake off the dust, and keep on

moving towards your goal.

The habit of persistence is built as follows: 1. Have a clear goal and the burning

desire to achieve it.

2. Make a clear plan and act on it with daily action steps.

3. Be immune to all negative and discouraging influences.

4. Have a support system of one or more people who will encourage you tofollow through with your actions and to pursue your goals.

William Shakespeare said “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking

makes it so”. Put things into perspective! The closer you are to the problem and

the more in front of it, the less you see. Step back and get a more global view of

it. Understand how you feel faced with the problem and evaluate the real

importance of it. Even seeing the problem as a challenge will be helpful! Every

negative experience in your life has something good in it - search for it! If you

get into the habit of always searching for the good in every situation you will

change the quality of your life drastically.

Experiences themselves are neutral until we start to give them meaning. Your

vision of the world and your perspective “decide” if something is “good” or

“bad”. What may be a great tragedy to you could be a wakeup call for me to take

my life into my hands and thrive. In coaching we use what is called “Reframing”

to change the perspective that a client has of an event. One of my favorites is

changing “Failure” to “Feedback” or “Learning experience”.

How do you feel if you say “I failed terribly in my last relationship”? Now

try saying “I learned so much from my last relationship, I’m sure I will not

make the same mistakes again!” Can you feel the difference? Here are some

more examples of reframing:

Your Attitude is crucial for your happiness! It can change your way of seeing

things dramatically and also your way of facing them. You will suffer less in life

if you accept the rules of the game. Life is made up of laughter and tears, light

and shadow. You have to accept the bad moments by changing your way of

looking at them. Everything that happens to you is a challenge and an

opportunity at the same time.

Look at the positive side of things in life even in the worst situations. There is

something good hidden in every bad – although sometimes it might take some

time to discover it.

I’ll tell you again: it’s not what happens in your life that’s important; it’s how

you respond to what happens to you that makes your life! Life is a chain of

moments – some happy, some sad - and it depends on you to make the best of

each and every one of those moments. Did your wife leave you? So will you be

unhappy forever or will you go out and meet new people? Losing your job might

open new doors.

Many years ago all of the success teachers and positive thinkers described it this

way: “If life gives you a lemon, add sugar to it, and make lemonade out of it”.

Younger readers might say that “If life gives you a lemon, ask for some salt and

Tequila”. You get the point, don’t you?

For example, some healthy attitudes are:

• Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.

• Admit that there are things you don’t know.

• Dare asking for help and let other people help you.

• Differentiate between what you have done in your life until now and what

you want to do or better still, will do from now on!

What do you believe? This is extremely important, because ultimately your

beliefs create your reality! You create what you believe and your world is only

your interpretation of the reality. In other words, we don’t see the world how it

is, but how we were conditioned to see it. Our perception is only an

approximation of reality. Our maps of reality determine the way we act more

than reality itself. Each one of us sees the world through the lenses of their

own beliefs. Does this sound like hocus-pocus to you? It did to me too until I

studied two semesters of Psychology at my High School and learned about the

Placebo Effect, The Pygmalion Effect, and Self-Fulfilling prophecies. Studies

on these subjects out there show how powerful our thoughts and beliefs really

are! But what is a belief? It’s the conscious and unconscious information that we

accept as true. Robert Dilts defines beliefs as judgments and assessments about

ourselves, others, and the world around us. A belief is a habitual thought pattern.

Once a person believes something is true (whether it’s true or not) he or she acts

as if it were - collecting facts to prove the belief even if it’s false.

Beliefs are like a self-fulfilling prophecy. They work like this: your beliefs

influence your emotions, your emotions influence your actions and your

actions influence your RESULTS! Depending on your belief-system you live

your life one way or another.

I want you to realize that life doesn’t just happen to you! It’s a reflection of

your beliefs, thoughts, and expectations. If you want to change your life you

have to first change your patterns of thinking.

Even if beliefs come from early childhood programming for most of us, we are

able to change them. Nobody can impose your beliefs on you. It’s always you

who in the last instance can permit a belief to be true for you or not! L

If you want to improve your life, the first thing you have to do is improve your

thoughts. Your thoughts create your reality so you better have them under

control! By controlling your thoughts, ultimately you control your life and your

destiny. So observe your thoughts every now and then. Peace Pilgrim‘s quote “If

you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative

thought.” says it all: don’t get stuck in negative thoughts. Replace them with

positive thoughts such as “everything is going to be all right” every single time

they come up.

Think positive! A positively thinking person is not a dreamer, who thinks there

are no problems in life. Instead he or she recognizes that problems are

opportunities to grow, and knows that they only have the meaning that they are

given. Positive thinking is to see reality as it is, accept it, and make the best

of it. Don’t let your thoughts dominate you, instead dominate your thoughts and

control their quality. Train your mind to concentrate only on positive, creative,

and inspiring thoughts. If you train your mind like this for a while you will see

that the circumstances of your life change too. You are the creator of your

thoughts, but you are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are energy and the energy

follows the thought. Thoughts create emotions, which create behavior, which

create actions, and those actions have consequences in your daily life.