Sparking Everyday Discipleship

What do you say in the first ten minutes after your child tells you they identify as LGBT? And what do you do when your first thought is "What will people at church think?"

In this episode of Sparking Everyday Discipleship, Terrie talks with Rob Jackson, a licensed professional counselor with Focus on the Family and author of When Grace Meets Conviction: Loving God and Your LGBT Child. Rob draws on years of calls from Christian parents to show how to keep your convictions and your relationship with your child at the same time. He explains why accepting your child is not the same as affirming everything they believe, and why Christian parenting was never a formula. He also gives churches a challenge: if you haven't thought through how you'll minister in this area, you're already behind.

In this episode:

What to say, and what not to say, right after your child comes out Why your child's choices are not a verdict on your parenting Praying honestly within a new reality without endorsing it Keeping the relationship open when you won't agree on everything How churches can stay biblical and still be approachable Talking with young children about God's design without teaching them contempt Neurodivergence, belonging, and why asking questions beats making assumptions "If it's not a moral issue, let's not make it one"

⏱ CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro 01:12 Meet Rob Jackson and his 100-question book for parents 02:47 What to say in the first moments after your child comes out 05:40 Family reputation, parental shame, and the myth of a parenting formula 08:10 Renewing your mind and praying within a new reality 10:10 Keeping conversations open and preparing the church 14:23 Talking with younger children without modeling contempt 17:43 Neurodivergence, belonging, and asking instead of assuming 22:20 "If it's not a moral issue, let's not make it one" 23:28 How to contact Focus on the Family and find the book

📚 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE When Grace Meets Conviction: Loving God and Your LGBT Child by Rob Jackson. Learn about the book, Rob's new parents group, and his work with churches at gracemeetsconviction.com.

Focus on the Family counseling: Call 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459), Monday–Friday, or request help anytime at focusonthefamily.com/get-help.

Scripture referenced: Genesis 1:27, Luke 15:11–32, John 14:15, Romans 12:2

Reflect: Do you treat your child more like a person to love or a project to manage? What would it look like this week to keep the door open?

From Hypurpley Publishing, this podcast's sponsor: We offer traditional publishing and walk authors through independent publishing. Learn more at hypurpleypublishing.com.

Questions or comments? Leave them below. We'd love to hear from you.

Mixed Needs Mama and Sparking Everyday Discipleship are part of The Whole Family, encouragement for families raising kids with different needs.

#sparkingeverydaydiscipleship #christianparenting

Foster and homeschool mom Macy Bassler talks about discipling kids through silly stories, a warm family culture, and discipline that restores fellowship.

Show notes

Terrie talks with Macy Bassler, a pediatric physical therapist, homeschool mom, and the voice behind The Fruitful Family. Macy and her husband said yes to foster care and were matched with a six-year-old girl who needed a forever home. Within two years they had three children. Macy shares what God taught her through advocating for a daughter with special needs, walking through three miscarriages, and choosing to step away from her career to homeschool.

Macy also introduces her first picture book, Ferdinand, the Fish Who Feared Bubbles. It began as a bedtime story for her very active four-year-old. She and Terrie discuss why a silly book can disciple a child just as well as a "living book." What children remember most is the time spent reading together.

From there, the conversation turns to building a family culture your kids will look back on as sweet. They talk about why a parent's own walk with God matters most, and about putting down the phone and looking your child in the eye. They also cover why consistency matters when you can't see fruit yet, and Macy explains why kids are like potatoes. Finally, they talk about what biblical discipline is really for. Its goal isn't punishment. It's restoring a child to fellowship with the family.

In this episode:

• Saying yes to God when the road is harder than you planned
• Why silly stories still have a place in discipleship
• Meeting each child where they are
• Creating a family culture of warmth and welcome
• Consistency and the long game of faith
• Discipline as restoration, not punishment

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome, guest intro, and the Storybook Inkspiration Retreat 02:23 Macy's unexpected path into foster care and motherhood 05:28 Miscarriage, Scripture, and renewed closeness with God 07:04 Stepping away from work to homeschool 07:44 Saying yes to God when you can't see the road ahead 11:25 Ferdinand, the Fish Who Feared Bubbles 13:25 Why silly stories and reading together matter 16:37 Meeting children where they are as learners 19:03 Family culture starts with the parent's walk with God 21:48 Eye contact, defining moments, and a home that welcomes 24:35 Beyond Sunday school answers: consistency and the long game 28:54 Discipline as restoration, not punishment 32:55 Wrap-up and Macy's book release

Resources mentioned:

• Macy Bassler / The Fruitful Family: https://thefruitfulfamily.org/
• Ferdinand, the Fish Who Feared Bubbles (releases November 17): https://thefruitfulfamily.org/ferdinand
• Storybook Inkspiration Retreat, April 2027, Broken Bow, Oklahoma: https://www.hypurpleypublishing.com/storybook-inkspiration-retreat

Leave your questions and comments on the blog post or on YouTube. We respond to every one.

We hear sermons about money, careers, and even family becoming idols. But what about the quieter idols: perfectionism, control, and the approval of other people?

In this episode of Sparking Everyday Discipleship, Terrie shares how God revealed idolatry in her own heart. It began with a season of fear early in her marriage and a counselor's question she never forgot: "Are you trying to be God?" Years later, a doctoral class took her deeper, and she saw that people-pleasing was at the root. She shows how this idol creeps into our parenting. We start focusing on how our kids' behavior makes us look instead of focusing on their hearts and their walk with Christ.

In this episode:

• How perfectionism and control can be a form of idolatry
• Why people-pleasing shifts our parenting from heart change to behavior modification
• Colossians 3:5 and covetousness: coveting approval, reputation, or an easy life
• Living for an audience of one, who has already fully loved, accepted, and redeemed us
• What to do when the Holy Spirit shows you an idol: repent, not self-condemnation

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Discipleship and Heart Check 02:00 Personal Stories of Fear and Perfectionism 04:08 Understanding Idolatry in Parenting 06:03 Biblical Insights on Idolatry from Colossians 08:13 Living for an Audience of One: Christ 10:09 Practical Steps to Examine Your Heart 11:51 Encouragement for Parents in Discipleship

Scripture: Colossians 3:5, Ephesians 2:10, and James 4:7.

Reflect: Where are you seeking approval from people rather than resting in God's approval? How might that be shaping what you expect from your children?

From Hypurpley Publishing, this podcast's sponsor:

• Writer coaching: Get your manuscript ready to pitch or publish, whether you're going traditional or indie. Called Writer's Cohort
• Homeschooler's Path to Publishing: A Zoom class for teens that takes them from book idea to published author. They learn the craft of writing plus editing, critique, and the publishing industry. Meets twice a month. Limited to 10 students per class. Find out more.

Questions or comments? Leave them here. We'd love to hear from you.

In Episode 350 about using copywork and how to help our children write without fatigue I misspoke about fine and gross motor skills. I wanted to set the record straight.

Here's the link to the episode: https://booksthatspark.libsyn.com/using-copy-work-for-language-arts-and-discipleship

Questions Aren't the Opposite of Faith: Preparing Kids for the Questions They'll Face

Our kids are hearing hard questions about God, the Bible, and faith from friends, influencers, and the internet. Elizabeth Urbanowicz, founder of Foundation Worldview, returns to talk about how to make home the safest place to ask them. She and Terrie discuss what to do when your child doubts, when you don't know the answer, and when someone has twisted Scripture to hurt them.

In this episode:

• Welcome questions: The opposite of faith is unbelief, not questions. Affirm the question before you answer it.
• When you don't know the answer: Faking an answer trains kids to trust blindly, and that trust eventually moves to a peer, an influencer, or a professor. Instead, research the answer together and teach your kids how to judge whether a source is reliable, including asking AI tools to cite their sources.
• When your child doubts God exists: Doubt can be an invitation to discover whether what they believe is true. Ask questions first to find the root of the doubt. An intellectual objection calls for evidence. A painful experience calls for comfort first.
• When a friend walks away from faith: Help your kids come up with good questions that uncover why the friend left.
• The listening ball activity: A simple game that teaches kids to ask questions and repeat back what they heard before they respond.
• When Scripture has been twisted: Teach kids the whole story of the Bible, how to read a passage in context, and the difference between descriptive and prescriptive passages. Remind them that God takes it seriously when shepherds harm His sheep.
• Literal or symbolic? Using John 6 as the example, Elizabeth explains how genre, context, and the resurrection help kids interpret hard passages.
• Moving past "the Jesus answer": When kids default to "Jesus," ask them to explain why.

Timestamps 00:11 Welcome 01:54 New Foundation Worldview resources for kids 02:44 Preparing kids for the questions they'll face 03:19 Making your home a place that welcomes questions 06:12 What if I don't know the answer? 08:30 When your child starts doubting God 11:13 Finding the root cause of doubt 14:43 When a friend walks away from faith 18:06 The listening ball activity 20:57 When kids have been taught twisted Scripture 25:54 When church hurt affects your kids 29:55 John 6: Is it literal or symbolic? 33:42 Why Jesus used shocking language 36:00 How a doctoral assignment turned into a family Bible study 37:55 Moving kids past "the Jesus answer" 40:51 Closing

Resources mentioned

• Foundation Worldview: apologetics and biblical worldview curriculum for kids, plus parent training. foundationworldview.com. Use code SPARK10 for 10% off.
• Coming soon from Foundation Worldview: Trusting the Bible (ages 8–12) and Bearing God's Image (ages 4–7, working title)
• GotQuestions.org: answers to Bible questions, footnoted with Scripture

We'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment or question below.

Sparking Everyday Discipleship is sponsored by Hypurpley Publishing, bridging the gap between Sunday school lessons and Monday morning life.

Don't Stress Talking Sex: Starting Honest, Healthy Conversations with Your Kids

Most of us dread "the talk." John Fort didn't want to have it either. But after his own childhood exposure to pornography, with parents who never addressed it, he knew his kids wouldn't stand a chance if he stayed silent. Decades of ministry later, Focus on the Family asked him to write the book.

In this episode, John and Terrie talk about why these conversations are part of discipling our kids, how early to start, and what to do when your child has already been exposed. He also covers how your own messy past can become your most powerful teaching tool.

In this episode:

• When to start: "Two years before you think you should." John walks through Scripture's example of reading the whole law, including its sexual content, to "all the little ones," and gives age guidelines. Body parts and respect come at ages 3–6, how sex works at 8–9, and the reproductive system at 10–11.
• Preparing kids for exposure: By age 8, kids need to know they will encounter sexual content, what to do when it happens, and that they won't be in trouble for telling you.
• Arousal, temptation, and sin: A simple framework that helped John's son understand that a bodily reaction isn't sin, and that this understanding makes walking away easier.
• Processing exposure without lecturing: What did you see? How did it happen? How did it make you feel? How can we prevent it? Then pray together.
• When your child has sought out pornography: Start with "I'm so glad you told me," and share your own story first.
• Parents with a past: The number one reason Christian parents avoid this conversation is fear their kids will learn about their past. John explains why your story is the bridge.
• Neurodivergent kids: Why online content can feel safer than real social interaction, and how to build positive social experiences.
• Kids with intellectual disabilities: Lower impulse control means greater protection is needed.

Timestamps 00:12 Welcome 01:11 Meet John Fort and the backstory behind the book 04:53 When should you start talking about sex? 06:52 Respecting our bodies and moving beyond purity culture 10:36 Preparing kids for exposure 12:17 Arousal vs. temptation vs. sin 14:43 How to help kids process exposure 15:39 When your child has sought out pornography 20:03 What if you messed up when you were young? 22:32 Neurodivergent kids and online compulsions 27:18 Kids with intellectual disabilities 28:24 John's books 29:35 Closing thought: these conversations draw you closer 30:13 New homeschool teen writing class

Resources mentioned

• Don't Stress Talking Sex by John W. Fort: [Amazon link]
• John's other books, including his identity book and the Elias Turner series: [Amazon author page]
• Homeschool teen writing and publishing class: three semesters on Zoom, from first idea to published book, limited to 10 students per class. [Link]

We'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment or question below.

Sparking Everyday Discipleship is sponsored by Hypurpley Publishing, bridging the gap between Sunday school lessons and Monday morning life.

What does the Bible really say about forgiveness and repentance, and how do we teach kids forgiveness that goes beyond "it's okay"?

We teach children to say "it's okay" when someone hurts them, but that isn't what Scripture means by forgiveness. In this episode, Terrie uses Luke 17:3–4 and a scene from Izzy's Notebook to look at the difference between letting go of bitterness and true forgiveness. Real forgiveness isn't only for our own peace of mind. It seeks the other person's good, which sometimes means confronting an offense in love so reconciliation with us, and with God, can happen.

In this episode: - Why "say it's okay" can teach children the wrong thing - Luke 17:3–4: rebuke, repentance, and forgiveness - Letting go of bitterness vs. true forgiveness - Forgiving someone who isn't safe: reconciliation without blind trust - Why we need to tell people when they've hurt us - How to start these conversations with your kids

Chapters: 00:00 Welcome 0:34 Hypurpley Publishing 2:22 The One Another series and Izzy's Notebook 5:45 What is forgiveness? 8:25 Luke 17:3–4 and repentance 10:25 Letting go of bitterness vs. true forgiveness 11:17 When the person isn't safe 14:00 "You know what you did": when we don't know how we've hurt someone 17:05 Stop playing games with forgiveness 19:14 Closing

Scripture referenced: Luke 17:3–4 | Hebrews 13:16

Resources mentioned: 📖 Izzy's Notebook: https://terriehellardbrown.com/shop 🃏 One Another Discipleship Deck: https://terriehellardbrown.com/shop 🎧 The podcast episode that shaped this discussion: https://youtu.be/KCdBZVVEU3I?si=MI6M1OGU2ePIPQJC

Connect with Terrie: 🌐 Blog post and comments for this episode: https://terriehellardbrown.com/blog 📚 Hypurpley Publishing: https://hypurpleypublishing.com Have a book on your heart? Hypurpley Publishing has openings for new authors. Reach out through the website to talk about next steps.

Sparking Everyday Discipleship discusses books and resources for discipling our children, encouraging and empowering parents to spark important conversations every day.

#BiblicalForgiveness #ChristianParenting #EverydayDiscipleship

Summary In this episode, Terrie Hellard-Brown shares practical strategies for discipling active children, emphasizing the importance of meeting children where they are and using everyday moments for teaching. She discusses how to handle resistance, the value of teachable moments, and ways to incorporate faith into daily life. Key Topics

• Adjusting discipleship to children's activity levels
• Using mealtime and travel as teaching moments
• Seizing teachable and defining moments
• Encouraging independence and respect in teens
• Handling resistance and resistance in discipleship
• Incorporating fun activities into faith lessons
• The importance of gratitude and teachability in children
• Balancing discipline and joy in parenting

Takeaways

• Meet children where they are, not where you want them to be.
• Use everyday activities like meals and travel for discipleship.
• Seize teachable moments to teach when children are receptive.
• Help children see their unique talents as gifts from God.
• Balance structured lessons with spontaneous fun.
• Encourage respect and independence in teens.
• Use family activities to teach biblical principles.
• Maintain joy and flexibility in discipleship.

Sound Bites

• "Seize teachable moments when children are receptive."
• "Respect and boundaries are vital in teen discipleship."
• "Let go of your plans and embrace God's timing."

Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Discipling Active Children 02:14 Adjusting Discipleship to Child's Activity Level 03:33 Using Daily Life as Teaching Moments 04:50 Seizing Teachable and Defining Moments 06:13 Helping Children Recognize Their Gifts 07:56 Handling Resistance During Discipleship 08:45 Adapting Lessons to Hyper Children 10:32 Talking to Resistant Children About Discipleship 12:42 Maintaining Respect and Boundaries in Teen Years 14:22 Building Siblings' Relationships for the Future 15:12 Encouraging Gratitude and Teachable Attitudes 16:45 The Importance of Being Teachable 17:38 Letting Go of Rigid Plans and Embracing Flexibility 18:30 Resources for Family Discipleship and Parenting

Summary

Terrie Hellard-Brown shares practical insights on teaching language arts and writing to children, emphasizing modeling, copy work, and motor skills development to enhance learning and Scripture memory.

NOTE: I misspoke about fine and gross motor skills in this episode. I recorded a correction. You can listen to that here: https://booksthatspark.libsyn.com/fine-and-gross-motor-skills-a-quick-correction

Key Topics

The power of modeling in teaching language arts Using copy work to teach grammar and punctuation The TPCASTT method for analyzing poetry The importance of large motor skills in writing Strategies for teaching Bible verses and memorization Addressing fine motor challenges in children Using sidewalk chalk and large paper for handwriting The role of technology and traditional methods in learning

Takeaways

Copy work helps children learn punctuation and sentence structure naturally. Modeling behavior is more effective than direct instruction for children. Using Word's underlining feature can aid in grammar correction. Copying poetry and Bible verses enhances memorization and understanding. Large motor skills are crucial for developing fine motor control in writing. Starting handwriting practice with sidewalk chalk can reduce fatigue. Teaching children to write from the shoulder prevents wrist fatigue. Using a progression from large to small paper helps develop handwriting skills. Incorporating analysis like TPCASTT deepens literary understanding. Encouraging outdoor and creative writing activities makes learning engaging.

Sound Bites

"Modeling behavior is more effective than direct instruction." "Copy work helps children learn punctuation and sentence structure naturally." "Using large motor skills prevents wrist fatigue and improves memory."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Teaching Language Arts and Copy Work 02:04 The Power of Modeling in Teaching Children 04:12 Using Word to Help with Grammar and Punctuation 05:59 The TPCASTT Method for Analyzing Poems 07:48 Incorporating Bible Verses and Memorization Strategies 10:01 Using Large Motor Skills and Outdoor Activities for Handwriting 11:52 The Benefits of Traditional Writing and Dictionary Use 14:00 Addressing Motor Challenges with Practical Tips 15:46 Final Thoughts and Encouragement for Homeschoolers 17:09 Upcoming Interviews and Closing Remarks

Summary

In this episode, we explore the vital role of community and friendship in children's development, especially for those growing up as third culture kids and in homeschooling environments. Annie shares her personal experiences of navigating friendships across cultures and the importance of lifelong connections.

Key Topics

The significance of community and friendship in child development Challenges faced by third culture kids in forming friendships The role of community in emotional and social growth Strategies for homeschooling families to build social networks Lifelong friendships and their impact on well-being The importance of community for neurodivergent children Parenting tips for fostering social skills and connections The impact of expat life on children's social experiences

Takeaways

Community is essential for emotional and social development. Lifelong friends often form through shared experiences and trust. Parents should actively create opportunities for children to build friendships. Homeschooling groups and activities can provide vital social interaction. Understanding and supporting neurodivergent children's social needs is crucial.

Sound Bites

"You are who you surround yourself with." "Traveling helps me stay connected worldwide." "Masks can come off when you're with your community."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the importance of community for children 00:14 Annalisa shares her view on friendship and community 00:39 The impact of community on emotional development 00:54 Challenges faced by expat and third culture kids 01:20 Building lifelong friendships across cultures 01:47 The role of community in homeschooling 02:05 Supporting neurodivergent children in social settings 02:29 The significance of masks and authentic community 02:37 Encouragement for parents to foster social connections 02:38 Conclusion and final thoughts on community and friendship