Speak LOUD

What a joy it was to speak with Rena Romano for the last episode of the season. Rena has gone from childhood sexual abuse to contemplating suicide, from appearing on the Oprah Show to the TEDx stage. She’s a respected speaker, author, TEDx coach, and a “sur-THRIVER” of abuse with a mission to show people how to live the endless possibilities of positive life after trauma. 

Rena’s abuse persisted for nearly 20 years, from age 4. At such a young age, she had no language for what was happening to her, and was unable to speak up about what she was going through. When she was older, she knew it would have torn her family apart to speak up, but as an adult reflects that it’s not the child’s responsibility to stop the crime. 

Even after escaping her situation, Rena still struggled with abuse in early adulthood. Perpetrators of rape and abuse were like a lion sniffing out blood, sensing when their victims are most weak or wounded. Rena was addicted to abuse, believing it to be what love looked like, and continued to attract it into her life. 

The Law of Attraction doesn’t work unless you put it into motion, Rena says. Having watched Oprah talk with other sur-THRIVERs, Rena was certain she would be on the show. She sent in an email with her story and waited, but even in the 2 years leading up to that call, she spoke and acted like she already knew she was going to be on air--which she did. 

One of Rena’s favorite practices is writing. For 5-15 minutes a day, she would sit down and create her future through writing. She would write about how happy and grateful she was that her TEDx talk had reached so many people, long before it had happened. “Happy is the best revenge,” she says. 

In overcoming abuse, Rena says to speak about what you’ve gone through. Survivors have no reason to be ashamed of crimes committed against them. Writing her book, “His Puppet No More”, was like spitting out the last bit of cancer that Rena still carried from her abuse. The more she shared her story, the more healed she was. “Healing begins by telling, but we must make telling safe.” Rena hopes that other sur-THRIVERs listening in know that they are enough and have nothing to be ashamed of. 

Listen in to hear more about Rena’s journey, how she wrote her book, and her advice for success and healing. 

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For more information and support, visit RAINN 

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**

Today's amazing guest is  Amy Nordhues. Amy is an author, passionate Christ follower, and a married mother of 3 who became an expert on the healing God provides after suffering sexual abuse at the hands fo a mental health professional. Her book, “Prayed Upon” tells the true story of her escape from the abuse of a respected, Church-going psychiatrist. Amy strives to help other victims understand themselves and know that they're not alone.

Amy first met her psychiatrist 7 years before the abuse started. She had sensed something amiss immediately and had not gone back. Upon finding and falling in love with a church community, where he was one of the elders, Amy found herself sucked in again. Other Church-goers praised the doctor’s work, and when a friend gave Amy her session for free, the grooming had begun. 

Amy says that part of her recognized the malpractice right away, but she struggled with an internal monologue that explained away any of the red flags she noticed. Her desire to be polite in front of an authority figure, as well as her history of being abused as a child, had removed the word ‘No’ from her vocabulary. 

Amy had confided in a friend from Church about what was happening in her sessions multiple times, but it wasn’t until she decided to speak with her pastor that change began to happen. 

The moment that Amy was able to get out of her abusive situation was by having her friend sit with her through the scheduled timeof her therapy, which was now three hours long. The doctor called nine times while her friend manned the phone. When the three hours were over, Amy knew that by not going once she would never go again. 

Connecting with others allowed for Amy to see the harsh reality she had been in. Not only was she not alone in her trauma, she was not defective or at fault because of it. Throughout her recovery, Amy re-learned how to be vulnerable and how to connect with her husband and family, a journey that has transformed her married life. 

Writing her book, “Prayed Upon” allowed Amy to understand herself. The book took about 7 years, but by putting it on paper, she let herself understand what had happened and forgive herself for not leaving earlier. The book cover, of a bird sitting in a cage with the door open, symbolizes her internal struggle of why she didn’t leave earlier. The book has helped Amy and other women know that, “It’s not just me.” 

Listen in to hear Amy’s account of how her experience affected her marriage, what modalities of healing she sought out in recovery, and how her relationship with God facilitated her recovery. 

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content 

Kevin Palmeri, is an entrepreneur and podcaster from Next Level University. With more than 800 episodes so far, Kevin is dedicated to overcoming limitations, and feels he has a responsibility to be authentic and vulnerable on his platform. 

At 25, Kevin had the ‘perfect life’: a beautiful girlfriend, a sports car, a high-paying job. But when his girlfriend left him, Kevin realized he had spent 25 years working on his wallet, and not himself. He started to change, but leaned too far into his financial goal of making six-figures. By the time he reached his goal, he felt no different. 

Kevin describes one morning before work when he realized how low he was. He struggled with suicidal thoughts, including doubts about his podcast, which was only a passion project at the time. Upon calling a friend, his later co-host and business partner, Kevn realized it was time to change his environment. He traded his current problems for better ones by diving into his new business. “Hurdles never go away, you just get better at jumping over them,” Kevin says. 

Kevin’s business helps entrepreneurs who don’t have the time to run an entire show make their own podcasts. He has a lot of valuable advice for newcomers, but emphasizes consistency and resilience. Be in it for the long run, he tells listeners, and do something that you would do for free. 

Kevin believes resilience begins with your identity. Everyone is conditioned to believe a certain narrative, and Kevin’s advice is to search within yourself and ask questions that challenge your conditioning. “Where you are now is not where you are forever,” Kevin says, “unless you decide to be.” Resilience is built by starting small, and continuing to show up. 

While meditation and going to the gym help keep Kevin motivated, he says that motivation isn’t everything. If he only did the work when he was feeling motivated, his business would have gone nowhere. Kevin prioritizes showing up even when it’s hard. He does this by asking himself if he still wants what he did the day he started, and if the answer is yes, he plows ahead. 

Kevin hopes that listeners will realize that the person they are today can change completely. In entrepreneurship, Kevin learned a lot about business, but learned the most about himself. “Your reality becomes the parts of your imagination that you hold onto the longest,” Kevin says, sharing a favorite quote. 

Listen in to hear Kevin’s advice for succeeding in business, his favorite resources for entrepreneurship and spirituality, and how relationships affect our success. 

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Join the Next Level University

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**

Joining me today is Gina Rolkowski, who believes because you’ve been traumatized, doesn’t mean you can’t lead a purposeful life. She talks about how trauma victims have a choice, how we can be mindfully aware of what is going on in our minds and bodies, and how to take back control of our lives.

Reliving Trauma and Repeating the Pattern

Growing up experiencing sexual abuse as a child, Gina didn’t remember her experience until her 40’s. At age six, she had chronic stomach aches, and her doctor told her parents she was doing it for the attention. Then, at 14, she had issues with her period and started having seizures. Looking back, she realizes that the seizures were part of emotional defense and overload from her abuse. 

Getting pregnant at 19, she married an abusive husband. She divorced her husband and experienced severe PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Next, Gina turned to illegal drugs and alcohol to soothe her emotional trauma. Her doctors gave her a cocktail of drugs for her symptoms, which didn’t change the memories that kept giving her issues daily. 

Struggling with internal shame, Gina had difficulty functioning in daily life. When her flashbacks returned, Gina had to take time off of her teaching job to heal. 

Listen in to find out how she broke the chronic therapist cycle, how God played a significant role in her recovery, and how she visually sees the trauma in her body and used her visions to heal herself.

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**

Joining me today is S.F. Banks, who is doing phenomenal work in our community with our youth. In 2007 he opened up an I.M. Defense Institute, which shows women and men how to defend themselves from attackers. He also has a youth program and is a creator of Camp  Warrior King, exposing youth to upbeat, fun activities. In addition, S.F. founded You Can Have It All, a youth conference, and the accompanying You Can Have It All youth magazine. Lastly, he created Team Hot Sauce, a cartoon storytelling platform for youth.

Overcoming Your Past

SF is a big believer in taking the pains from your past and making those into the beauty of your future. “Let those things that you’ve overcome, fuel you towards your future.” 

Having two aunts - one that was murdered by her husband, along with murdering their child (his cousin), and another aunt who suffered severe brain damage from her husband, S.F. is on a mission to help women defend themselves as a result of these experiences he had as a child. 

“I still have a toy of my cousin JoJo’s in my truck that I keep to help me remember my purpose.” His cousin’s truck is a constant reminder of how he can help keep one or more children from the same situation that his aunts went through. 

Listen in to find out how S.F. started his journey with the I.M. Defense Institute over a decade ago, an example of a client who could protect themselves as a result of his program, and how he provides food and shelter to the children he supports in the African orphanage.

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**

With me today is Michael, who is here to speak loud about something not many people speak about. Michael is dedicated to ending the silence around male sexual abuse survivors, after a harrowing journey with sexual abuse, alcohol and drug addiction and mental illness. 

Michael grew up in a violent, emotionally and physically abusive household, because of his mother. At 14, he entered a sexually abusive situation with an older woman. He was obsessed with her, unaware of the negative impact the situation was having on him. 

When a family counselor unearthed the truth, neither they nor Michael’s parents addressed the abuse. Instead, he was grounded. He began drinking and experiencing mental health spirals that led to a brush with suicide. “I was wild, disruptive, like a grenade without a pin,” Michael says.  

After high school, Michael was in the bar business for 27 years, with unlimited access to alcohol and compulsive sex. At 22, his father passed away, and Michael developed the mindset that good people, like his father, weren’t rewarded in the long run, and no one went out of their way to protect vulnerable people. 

After losing his job, his house, and nearly his life to alcoholism, Michael was placed in a rehab facility where he could safely quit drinking. Through therapy, he uncovered the serious effect the abuse had on him, and decided to seek legal action against his abuser. Michael was met with confidence that she would face charges, but after three days was told no action would be taken, “because [he] was fourteen and not thirteen, and the sex was consensual.” Once again, Michael’s abuse was trivialized and ignored. 

Michael used research as a tool for his anger, and found that women make up 20% of sexual abuse. He also found that 67% of men who reported sexual abuse to hotlines were told, “We only help women.” Michael began posting the information he found online. He gained traction and support, and was a guest on many podcasts like this one. 

Michael is now working on his own podcast, where he plans to interview other survivors, as well as mental health professionals, researchers, detectives and attorneys. He’s adamant that male and female victims are in this together, and he hopes that listeners do something positive with their anger. He encourages listeners to reach out if they have a story, need to talk, or have a loved one that needs help. 

Listen in to learn more about Michael’s experience as a foster parent, his journey with rehabilitation and therapy, and statistics surrounding male sexual abuse. 

Resources Mentioned

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Reach out to Michael on Twitter 

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**

Joining me today is Alyssa Chambers, a mother of 2 and owner of Bonnie’s Joy Pinup. She has quite the journey to share, and is here to speak loud about putting in the work of ‘de-programming’ abuse, both in victim and abuser. She’s currently working with a trauma coach, which is what she describes as the difference between her and her abusers: that she is actively working on becoming a better person.

Alyssa grew up in an environment that had rampant forms of abuse. Her parents taught her by example to deal with things in an unhealthy way, oftentimes with alcohol or drugs. She describes her parents as ill-equipped and not present in her childhood. The circumstances she grew up in left her and her siblings at risk for predators, trauma, and abuse. 

There was no one instance of trauma or traumatic event in her life. What she needed to truly heal was a sense of stability. Alyssa values where she came from, but wouldn’t wish it on anyone else. No child deserves to grow up in such harsh circumstances, but she recognizes that every part of her journey has made her the person that she is now. 

Alyssa says that it’s ultimately up to her daughter to stop the cycle of abuse in her lifetime. Just like with any of her partners, she can’t force her daughter to heal. It’s something you have to choose for yourself, Alyssa claims. Even though she has supported her daughter through copious traumas, she recognizes the autonomy in deciding to choose a better narrative for yourself. 

Alyssa struggles to choose better for herself, too, but is actively working to improve. Her programming tells her deep down that she deserves less than a healthy relationship, and while she may know otherwise logically, her programming urges her back into that cycle. 

While it can be frustrating and upsetting to unlearn these tendencies, Alyssa knows that the longer you work on yourself, the happier you’re going to be. Ultimately, she’s thankful for the things that she’s gone through, because it’s allowed her to become a better, kinder person. She can have more empathy for people who have gone through horrifying things because she has also gone through them. She can relate to and empathize even with her abusers, showing endless compassion for people. As she says, there is no magic pill, and it takes a lot of work, but in the end it is always worth it to follow your instinct and change your life. 

Listen in to hear Alyssa’s experiences with abusive relationships, her journey with sobriety, and the other ways in which she’s unlearning abusive programming. 

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Find Alyssa’s business on Instagram

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**

Today I’m joined by Shelli Howells, an alignment coach, crystal reiki master, and light language practitioner. Shelli is “not afraid of the dark,” having recovered from trauma and 11 years of a chronic autoimmune disease. She guides her clients in soul-lead healing, championing the small and encouraging transformation. 

Shelli, along with her sisters and cousins, experienced sexual abuse from her grandfather at a young age. For many years, Shelli had to compartmentalize her trauma into an imaginary thing. Her grandfather was “the monster under the bed,” the abuse a bad dream she blocked out. 

Part of Shelli’s healing was confronting that trauma years later, after her younger sister brought the experiences to light. She had to forgive herself for not being able to protect herself and the more vulnerable, and make peace with the past after her grandfather had died. Having come out the other side, Shelli’s grateful for her history preparing her to be who she is now. 

Shelli states her trauma brought her body to a place of shrinkage, inviting severe, chronic lyme disease. She missed out on countless parts of her life, barely able to go out to dinner without being resigned to bed for weeks at a time. For 11 years, she was angry at her body--until realizing her body was trying to send her a message.

One day, Shelli heard the title of a book: “Feelings Buried Alive Never Die.” The words resonated deeply with her, catapulting her journey into energy work. She became a certified crystal reiki master, learned alignment coaching, and ultimately discovered light language. 

One of Shelli’s practices is light language. She describes it as a universal, multidimensional language that channels healing. The power of light language is that it bypasses the logical mind to speak to the heart. 

Shelli currently offers three certification courses: one for light language, one for intuitive gifts, and one to connect with what she calls your ‘entourage.’ An entourage is a spiritual support system that lends you energy and strength. Shelli says that most people come out of their first session in disbelief that they are so supported. 

Listen in to experience a light language session with Shelli, learn what modalities have been most effective in her healing, and what resources Shelli uses in her practice. 

Resources Mentioned

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Join a session on Shelli's Facebook or learn more on her website

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**

Today I’m joined by Amanda Ferrat, founder of “Value Yourself Counseling,” certified Emotional Wellness Counselor, and EFT practitioner. Amanda is a queer, disabled woman who strives to create safe spaces for women to empower and guide them through grief and hardship.

Raised in Montana, Amanda was sassy and outspoken from the start. But as she grew up, Amanda found her voice silenced by those around her. It wasn’t until she went to college that she started to “ask for forgiveness rather than permission.” Amanda believes she’s so outspoken now because of how much she was shut down as a child. 

During college, Amanda lost several loved ones. Within two years, she was out of fingers and toes to count them on. With her life derailed, Amanda decided to take a step back from school for her mental health. As the dust settled, she asked, “How am I going to use this?” The universe was telling her she was ready to move on to something new. 

Amanda realized her business, “Value Yourself Coaching,” to work as a grief and self-care coach. During the pandemic, she pushed herself to learn as much as possible. As part of that learning, Amanda enrolled in a Wellness Certification Program. At the same time, she discovered EFT tapping, and from just one session was all-in on this new magic. 

In her business, Amanda believes in taking everything she’s learned and teaching it to others. If she’s able to pass on some of her own healing, then she’s doing what she was born to do. As she says, “Healing never ends.” We are constantly growing, and there are always more layers to peel back. 

EFT tapping is a deepened kind of healing. In her practice, Amanda digs deep into her clients’ emotions. “I help women make peace with their past, fall in love with their present, and get excited about their future,” she says. Her sessions are at minimum 90 minutes, but it all depends on the individual client and what they need. Amanda’s willing to work with them on anything, from meditation and journaling to introducing new healing modalities like crystalwork or reiki. 

Amanda hopes listeners come away knowing it’s alright to struggle, and that they’re not alone. She’s someone who unapologetically wears her heart on her sleeve, and wants to help women unlock that “inner badass” so they can live their life again. 

Listen in to hear the science behind EFT tapping, how Amanda coped with loss, and what inspires her healing in the present day. 

Resources Mentioned

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Connect with Amanda on her Instagram

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**

Today I am joined by Tracey Osborne, CEO of the Global Association for Trauma Recovery and a certified trauma recovery coach. A ‘survivor and thriver’ of abuse, Tracy uses her voice to raise awareness, connect with other survivors, and provide resources to help heal trauma globally. 

Early life for Tracey was turbulent and confusing. Her parents separated when she was 5, causing feelings of abandonment that followed her into adulthood. She went from living with both parents to living with her grandmother, and later her father and step-mother. Her step-mother was the first perpetrator of abuse: narcissistic, manipulative, and invasive of Tracey’s privacy. 

At age 15, she was sent to Canada for a year to live with family she had never met. This ended up being the best year of her life, and she learned what healthy parenting looked like. She also met the boy who would later become her husband. 

In adulthood, Tracey had several abusive relationships. She had been pregnant twice by the age of 23. She explains how she went through relationship after relationship, always searching for something better but ending up with the same type of man. She often left relationships out of fear of abandonment. She was always looking for the next best thing, easily bored with partners and often having another man lined up when she left a relationship.

In 2013, Tracey reconnected with her now late-husband after their time in Canada. They were married for 5 years, during which Tracey began healing her trauma. She discovered on a podcast that she had an addiction to love and relationships: a realization that allowed her to change her patterns and break the pattern of abuse in her life. Whenever she would drift back to her old ways, she would tell herself, “This is the addiction talking. This isn’t what we’re looking for.” 

As a mother, Tracey was very vocal with her daughters. She was open and honest about her past, teaching them what an abusive situation looks like and how to ask for help. Now, her oldest daughter is teaching her granddaughters the same things.

As she moved forward, Tracey knew that she wanted to help women, but was unsure of what that looked like. After the passing of her husband, she knew it meant helping people overcome trauma. As a recovery coach, she didn’t feel right charging her patients, which led her to start the Global Association for Trauma Recovery. Tracey’s belief is that every survivor deserves a chance to thrive, and she has made sure that resources for healing are available to anyone that needs it. 

Listen in to hear how Tracey released her fear of abandonment, learned the skills to build her business, and how she helps survivors today. 

Resources Mentioned

Join Me on Speak Loud Platform

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Find resources at Tracey’s organization

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***Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment