In this episode, Ted and Patrick dive deep into the 5 classic love languages (and why they actually matter), explore how they show up in real relationships, and call out the common ways men miss the memo completely. From physical touch and acts of service, to why gifts aren’t greedy, we unpack it all. Enjoy!

Esther Perel’s 7 verbs: https://www.estherperel.com/blog/7-verbs

Social Clip discussion: https://x.com/CandiceHorbacz/status/1906775409452048592?t=E45VojhWxhmsrecgRN2LNQ&s=19

Study by Impett, Park and Muise: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/09637214231217663

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Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro

00:58 - How Patrick was introduced to love languages

01:53 - Kanye Interlude

02:44 - The 5 love languages and what they mean

04:06 - Better versions of these quizzes

05:12 - You’ll likely have one that’s dominant

06:10 - Ted’s absent love language

07:09 - How he’s tried to improve the deficit

07:25 - Difficulty with quality time

07:42 - Patrick’s dominant love language + Ted’s hard boundary

08:51 - The assumption that underlies love languages

10:11 - Degrees of physical touch and sleep separation

11:29 - The complexity of gift giving

12:09 - Ester Perel’s 7 verbs

13:34 - Expected gifts vs unexpected

14:30 - Social media clip discussion

15:39 - Being thoughtful about cooking vs doing it as a duty

17:02 - Unseen acts of service

18:39 - Expecting to read each other’s mind

19:31 - You NEED a highly communicative, vulnerable relationship

21:25 - Don’t treat your partner like a roommate

22:25 - A lot of people try to get away with doing as little as possible

24:14 - Working back up after a period of less affection + Quality time varieties

25:21 - Banning phones to have REAL conversations

26:29 - Downsides to this approach to love languages

27:34 - Linklater’s series

28:52 - Communication doesn’t have to be verbal

30:08 - Love languages as a tool, not absolutes

31:18 - Thoughtful gift giving

33:09 - Songs as subtle gifts or acts or service

35:11 - Love languages in conjunction with attachment styles

36:14 - Sharing memes as a love language

37:49 - FUNTY

39:31 - Would sharing memes be quality time?

40:06 - Reacting to peoples voices

41:03 - The importance of doing this with children

41:33 - More on Ted’s efforts to intentional and vulnerable

43:23 - Patrick’s efforts to work on love languages

44:40 - Internal dialogue and how you speak to yourself

45:35 - Why you should read the 7 Verbs (linked above)

47:15 - Love languages are a result of childhood absence or fondness?

49:19 - Scarce things feels precious

50:37 - Leave follow up questions down below!

51:39 - B-Roll (Instagram, Enjoying lifting, Patrick’s treasured memory, and My Fair Ladying a friend)