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Special Episode - When Thoughts Get Dark
In this special I'll Start episode, Heather, Morgan, and Fred address a topic that has surfaced across multiple stories this season: suicidal thoughts, stigma, and the myths that keep people suffering in silence.
With clinical insight, biblical context, and compassionate honesty, this conversation is designed to support both those who have struggled with these thoughts and those who love someone who has. We name common myths, clarify when to seek urgent help, and remind listeners that their life has value, even when the pain feels unbearable.
This episode is educational, pastoral, and grounded in care. You are not alone.
What We Cover in This Episode
• Why suicidal thoughts are more common than people realize
• How suicidal thinking often signals overwhelm, entrapment, or hopelessness, not a desire to die
• The difference between self-harm and suicidal intent
• When and how to escalate concerns for safety
• Why keeping “dangerous secrets” isn’t loving or faithful
• Myth-busting harmful beliefs, including:
◦ “Talking about it puts the idea in someone’s head”
◦ “Suicide is the unforgivable sin”
• How Scripture reflects the honesty of human despair without condemnation
• How to support someone who is struggling
• Where to find immediate help and resources
Myth-Busting & Biblical Context
Several biblical figures openly expressed despair, exhaustion, and a desire for life to end. Scripture does not hide these moments, and God does not meet them with condemnation.
Examples referenced in the episode:
• Elijah:
“He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord,’ he said. ‘Take my life.’”
1 Kings 19:4 (NIV)
• Moses:
“I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me.”
Numbers 11:14–15 (NIV)
• Jonah:
“Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”
Jonah 4:3 (NIV)
• Job:
Job curses the day of his birth and gives voice to profound suffering and despair.
Job 3
• Jeremiah:
“Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame?”
Jeremiah 20:18 (see also Jeremiah 15)
• David:
Several psalms end in darkness and unresolved pain, reminding us that faith and despair often coexist.
The “Unforgivable Sin” (Clarified)
When Jesus speaks about the “unforgivable sin,” He is addressing religious leaders who were knowingly and deliberately rejecting the work of the Holy Spirit, not people in emotional pain or crisis.
• Matthew 12:31 (NIV)
“And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.”
Key takeaway:
The “unforgivable sin” is about a hardened heart, not a hurting one. Only God knows the heart, and it is not our role to judge.
Additional Resource Mentioned
We’ll be taking a brief holiday break and will return January 6 with another brave story and thoughtful discussion.
Have a safe, restful, and hope-filled holiday season. Your story matters. Your life matters. And we’re walking with you.
💬 Let’s keep the conversation going!
Follow @illstartpodcast on Instagram and Facebook for behind-the-scenes moments, listener reflections, and episode updates.
Together, we share, listen, and connect.
X: @illstartpodcast
Instagram: @illstartpodcast
Facebook: I’ll Start
Tag us and share your thoughts using #IllStartPodcast
One of the most difficult parts of mental health struggle is feeling alone. Shame, fear, and stigma keep us isolated and reinforce the belief I am the only one who struggles with mental health. When someone shares their struggle with us, suddenly we have hope. Even when pain is present, there is something so healing about being in community. How do we build a community in the middle of our struggle?
Someone needs to start the conversation.
Most of the time we are hoping someone else will be the one to do it. What if we stopped waiting on others and told our story. What if we said, “I’ll start.” “I’ll Start” is a podcast where individuals bravely share their stories, listen with compassion, and connect through their faith and mental health experiences.
Each episode of “I’ll Start” highlights a personal story of mental health challenge, endurance, and hope. At the end of each episode, you will receive mental health tools and theological truth from our Co-hosts, Morgan Arseneau and Heather Kaloupek.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, call 9-8-8 to speak to a professional 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You are not alone.
View all episodes
By First Christian ChurchIn this special I'll Start episode, Heather, Morgan, and Fred address a topic that has surfaced across multiple stories this season: suicidal thoughts, stigma, and the myths that keep people suffering in silence.
With clinical insight, biblical context, and compassionate honesty, this conversation is designed to support both those who have struggled with these thoughts and those who love someone who has. We name common myths, clarify when to seek urgent help, and remind listeners that their life has value, even when the pain feels unbearable.
This episode is educational, pastoral, and grounded in care. You are not alone.
What We Cover in This Episode
• Why suicidal thoughts are more common than people realize
• How suicidal thinking often signals overwhelm, entrapment, or hopelessness, not a desire to die
• The difference between self-harm and suicidal intent
• When and how to escalate concerns for safety
• Why keeping “dangerous secrets” isn’t loving or faithful
• Myth-busting harmful beliefs, including:
◦ “Talking about it puts the idea in someone’s head”
◦ “Suicide is the unforgivable sin”
• How Scripture reflects the honesty of human despair without condemnation
• How to support someone who is struggling
• Where to find immediate help and resources
Myth-Busting & Biblical Context
Several biblical figures openly expressed despair, exhaustion, and a desire for life to end. Scripture does not hide these moments, and God does not meet them with condemnation.
Examples referenced in the episode:
• Elijah:
“He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord,’ he said. ‘Take my life.’”
1 Kings 19:4 (NIV)
• Moses:
“I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me.”
Numbers 11:14–15 (NIV)
• Jonah:
“Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”
Jonah 4:3 (NIV)
• Job:
Job curses the day of his birth and gives voice to profound suffering and despair.
Job 3
• Jeremiah:
“Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame?”
Jeremiah 20:18 (see also Jeremiah 15)
• David:
Several psalms end in darkness and unresolved pain, reminding us that faith and despair often coexist.
The “Unforgivable Sin” (Clarified)
When Jesus speaks about the “unforgivable sin,” He is addressing religious leaders who were knowingly and deliberately rejecting the work of the Holy Spirit, not people in emotional pain or crisis.
• Matthew 12:31 (NIV)
“And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.”
Key takeaway:
The “unforgivable sin” is about a hardened heart, not a hurting one. Only God knows the heart, and it is not our role to judge.
Additional Resource Mentioned
We’ll be taking a brief holiday break and will return January 6 with another brave story and thoughtful discussion.
Have a safe, restful, and hope-filled holiday season. Your story matters. Your life matters. And we’re walking with you.
💬 Let’s keep the conversation going!
Follow @illstartpodcast on Instagram and Facebook for behind-the-scenes moments, listener reflections, and episode updates.
Together, we share, listen, and connect.
X: @illstartpodcast
Instagram: @illstartpodcast
Facebook: I’ll Start
Tag us and share your thoughts using #IllStartPodcast
One of the most difficult parts of mental health struggle is feeling alone. Shame, fear, and stigma keep us isolated and reinforce the belief I am the only one who struggles with mental health. When someone shares their struggle with us, suddenly we have hope. Even when pain is present, there is something so healing about being in community. How do we build a community in the middle of our struggle?
Someone needs to start the conversation.
Most of the time we are hoping someone else will be the one to do it. What if we stopped waiting on others and told our story. What if we said, “I’ll start.” “I’ll Start” is a podcast where individuals bravely share their stories, listen with compassion, and connect through their faith and mental health experiences.
Each episode of “I’ll Start” highlights a personal story of mental health challenge, endurance, and hope. At the end of each episode, you will receive mental health tools and theological truth from our Co-hosts, Morgan Arseneau and Heather Kaloupek.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, call 9-8-8 to speak to a professional 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You are not alone.