(1990 - 2024) Ava Marcus, known for knowing everyone, passed away this morning on the island of Arach-No - alongside 1,000 spiky creatures, Michael Phelps, and a handful of high-powered bank executives. As an entrepreneur / kneecap separation advocate, Ava developed a type of sparkling water using every spiky fruit known to humankind. She will be remembered by her micropenis boyfriend who will not be named, her best friend Marissa, and the dozens of Uber drivers who will be waiting to drive her to her eternal destination. Funeral will be held everywhere, as Ava knew everyone. In real life you can follow Taylor Graves on TikTok and Instagram (@tayleeg). Next episode Thursday!

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