what gets lost, must be found. the season six finale of exit interview. 

the halloween tradition continues: a brand new special spooky episode from EXIT INTERVIEW. Enjoy this tale of Florida kayaking gone wrong, a box with a secret, and familial relationships. We'll see you next week for the Season Six Finale of EXIT INTERVIEW...

(1996 - 2024) Shirley Duvet, one of the most esteemed ASMR performers on JoesVideos.Net, performed a fatal stunt on Friday involving her beautiful mouth and an angular can of Diet Coke. After working for years on Popeyes mukbang, Duvet's popularity grew rapidly after transitioning into the audiobook space as a semi-softcore fairy ASMR narrator. She will be remembered for her weird relationship with Joe the Landlord/Confederate Sympathizer/All-Around Old Man, as well as for the retinue of lawyers she disposed to deal with her unhappy clients. Memorial services will be held at a recording booth near you. HALLOWEEN EPISODE NEXT THURSDAY !!

(1984 - 2024) Asher Forsyth, le légendaire dresseur d'éléphants et briseur de plafond de verre olympique s'est fait complètement piéger dans son avion privé Marlboro il y a quelques mois. Après une première carrière à pousser le tabac contre les citoyens innocents du public américain, Forsyth est mieux connu pour la seconde moitié de sa vie : à la tête des efforts visant à permettre aux animaux d'entrer aux Jeux olympiques, en particulier son plus bel éléphant, Margeux Marlboro. Le corps de Forsyth, qui pourrit actuellement sur une île au large des Carolines, sera ramené au repos aux États-Unis après une cérémonie de visionnage de la nouvelle saison de Below Deck. Nouvel épisode jeudi ! oui oui

(1980 - 2024) Elaine Snatch, local launderer of clothes and money, kicked the proverbial bowling ball down the alley last night. As mother of the Mayor of Coast and vigilante prosecutor of big business bullies everywhere, Snatch rose to prominence in sort of a reverse-nepo-baby situation. She will be remembered as the woman who spread all those waterborne foot illnesses while also being responsible for cleaning clothes. Daughters who woo and sons who build pyramids with their own bodies will mourn her death everywhere. Funeral will be held in a massive Target sign during South Coast Bingo night - no creepy singles allowed. New episode thuuuursday.

sometimes, the only way to be free - is to lose yourself.

(1998 - 2024) Christopher "Tiny" Sanchez the Fourth, scion of the Sanchez Shipping Company and co-founder of the holiday Christmas, passed away yesterday in the late afternoon doing what he loved: swinging hammers for prizes. As the youngest/favorite son of a mother-worshipping family, Sanchez pressed all the right buttons in his rapid rise to the top of his family's shipping company - growing from Sharpie-wielding hourly employee all the way to "fixer" (see: Sanchez Family Scrolls pg. 48). In his short life, he tackled problems such as figuring out how to get the ball through the oval-shaped hoop, to figuring out how to get a cargo ship through the oval-shaped canal. He will be buried next to his grandfather - Christopher Sanchez the Second - and Sharpies will be available at the funeral to sign his casket. No purveyors, purchasers, or surveyors allowed. New Episode Thur$dAy!

(1994 - 2024) Curtis L, the local cream cheese mogul and chive aficionado who ran the Creamy Company for years, passed away last night in a pool of his own making in front of dozens of students and undead creatures. Known for absolutely bulldozing a block of houses downtown then rebuilding them brick by brick to look exactly the same, L. will be remembered as that guy who triked daily down the street carrying massive amounts of cream cheese and chives (which are not a type of Mexican beer). His generosity with opening up his cream cheese factory to family tours and field trips will forever endear him to our community, despite him not being a numbers guy. L's  funeral will be held on Tuesday in a monastery in France where the Cistercian monks first fermented cream cheese using the blood of their coworker Pierre…or something like that (new episode THURSDAY !).

(1988 - 2024) Stacy (is it Stacy?) yes Stacy, that Stacy, the Stacy I'm talking about died yesterday in front of dozens of parents and one student from her Quaker School in Idaho, creating  a new sport through her untimely death. Known for her groundbreaking work in the field of virtual volleyball / polevaulting / tennis, Stacy (yes, Stacy) had already been a midwest legend for decades after her claim to fame as one-time Iowa State Women's Volleyball State Champion in the Tournament of I's. She will forever be tied to her corn-shucking roots and the friends who were more like friends of friends rather than friends. Her memorial will be taking place in the digital world, in VR goggles, and her coffin will be made of the dozens and dozens of volleyballs she had collected over the years. New episode next Thursday, everyone.