Hey friend,

Ever feel like you're spinning your wheels, working harder, not smarter? Like you're missing something, some secret sauce that others seem to have? I get it. It’s a brutal, lonely feeling. But what if I told you the missing piece isn’t another tactic, another course, another "hack"? What if it's you?

I recently chatted with Christy Civilier, a top performer in tech sales for three decades. She hit a wall, the kind that makes you question everything. She didn't need more skills; she needed an identity shift.

Christy's story is a gut punch of raw honesty – the hustle, the burnout, the realization that success wasn’t about more, but about becoming more. Sound familiar? Here's what she uncovered:

• Unlearning the hustle: Success isn't about grinding harder. It's about aligning your energy with your authentic self.
• Reprogramming limiting beliefs: Christy actively worked on unlearning the belief that she had to *earn* abundance, shifting to the understanding that she *is* abundance.
• Embracing the "spirit of the deal": It's not just about closing deals; it's about serving others and embodying your ideal self.
• The power of visualization: Christy's success wasn't accidental. She visualized her goals, embodying them daily – even before she knew what visualization was!

Christy's "Be It Now" method helps high-achievers like you identify limiting beliefs, craft a powerful life script, and truly embody the future version of themselves. The result? More ease, more abundance, and a life that feels aligned, instead of exhausting.

Ready to ditch the grind and step into your power? 

What's up, Spirit of the Deal listeners? This week, we're diving deep into a deal most of us overlook – the deal we make with grace.

I recently asked the I Ching – that ancient book of wisdom – how to invite more grace into my life. The answer? It wasn't about grinding harder, but about possession in great measure and, surprisingly, decrease. It's a paradox: how to hold abundance and let go simultaneously.

We'll unpack this through the lens of the I Ching's hexagrams, those symbolic lines representing solid and broken paths. My reading revealed "Possession in Great Measure," but with changing lines leading to "Decrease." This isn't just ancient philosophy – it's a direct reflection of how we operate in sales, leadership, and even our personal lives.

• Possession in Great Measure: We all have abundance – skills, connections, wisdom. The mistake is hoarding it. Grace shows up when we see abundance as a responsibility, not a trophy.
• The Changing Lines: Line 3 warns against arrogance; Line 4 reveals that aligning with purpose multiplies abundance. In sales terms: Don't just sell to sell; sell to serve.
• Decrease: The path to grace isn't about adding more to your plate, but cutting away the excess. This creates space for the real deal – the connection between you and grace itself.

We'll explore how abundance can feel like pressure, not grace. Pruning, letting go of unnecessary deals and commitments – that's how we make room for true abundance. And remember: grace isn't earned; it's welcomed, invited. It's about reaching out and saying, "I'm open to your strength."

This episode is packed with practical takeaways, ancient wisdom, and a modern spiritual edge. Stick around; it's gonna be a good one.

Introduction

Hey there, Spirit of the Deal listeners! This week, we’re diving deep into the raw, gritty, and spiritual side of sales and communication with the one and only Mary Van Dorn. Forget polished corporate speak – we're talking Gary Halbert's barstool wisdom meets Brandon's modern, mindful approach.This isn't your typical interview. We're using a high-octane "speed dating" segment to get right to the heart of Mary's energy and experience. Expect:

• Punchy insights: Short, sharp bursts of wisdom you can use immediately.
• Story-driven lessons: Compelling narratives that reveal the practical and emotional aspects of success.
• Data-backed strategies: Proven techniques that work, no fluff allowed.
• A modern spiritual edge: Intuition, energy, and universal flow – grounded in reality, not airy-fairy nonsense.

So buckle up, because Mary's journey from mortgage banking to empowering nonprofit leaders with their voices is a masterclass in authentic connection and persuasive communication. We’ll uncover the secrets behind her success, and you’ll walk away with actionable takeaways you can use to boost your own impact – whether you’re selling a product, leading a team, or simply aiming to be heard.

Honest Overview

This episode is a raw, real conversation with Mary Van Dorn, a speaker coach who transforms nervous talkers into confident communicators. It's not your typical polished interview; it's a gritty, insightful dive into the power of authentic communication and the energy behind impactful speaking.

Core Message: Unlock your authentic voice to achieve greater success and impact, both personally and professionally. Stop being boring; embrace storytelling to connect with your audience on a deeper level.

• Storytelling is key: Weaving narratives into your communication makes you 22 times more memorable. It's not just about facts; it's about connection.
• AI can't replace human connection: While AI can help with content creation, it can't replicate the energy, conviction, and genuine human connection that captivates audiences.
• Unleash your inner storyteller: Mary shares how she discovered her own storytelling ability and uses it to help clients build their businesses and make a profound difference.
• Find your alignment: Discover what lights you up, align your work with your passions, and experience the joy of purpose-driven living. Even if you're not an entrepreneur, find joy in your work and leave people happier than you found them.
• Authenticity trumps perfection: Embrace imperfections in your storytelling. Adapt, connect with your audience, and let your genuine self shine through.

Key Takeaway: Master the art of authentic communication to build stronger relationships, boost sales, and make a significant impact in your chosen field. Mary’s work helps people find their voice, share their stories, and ultimately, leave a mark on the world.

Connect with Mary:

MaryVanDorn.com

1. Introduction and Context

    *   Purpose of the Podcast/Discussion

    *   Association with "Superhuman Selling" and Elyse Archer

    *   Speaker's (Brandon Handley's) role: Running a men's mastermind

    *   Current theme: "Grounding the Leap"

2. Understanding the "Leap" and its Challenges

    *   Definition of the "leap": A breakthrough, a new baseline, a significant shift.

    *   The problem: Leaps can fade into memory without grounding.

    *   The goal: Locking in the leap, stabilizing the "new you" to become the new baseline.

    *   Breakthroughs are exciting but initially unstable.

    *   The nervous system, mind, and body need time to adapt to the new state.

3. The "Being" vs. "Doing" Paradigm for Grounding

    *   Common misconception: Securing a leap through more efforting, habits, and hustling.

    *   The speaker's past experience: Stuck in the "doing more" mindset.

    *   The key principle: 95-98% of locking a leap is "being," only 2-5% is "doing."

    *   The importance of understanding what it means to "live in this new state."

4. The Union of Heart and Mind (Kokoro)

    *   An ancient principle from other cultures.

    *   Concept introduced: Union of heart and mind.

    *   Historical influences: Alan Watts and the concept of "mushin."

    *   The Japanese term: "Kokoro" (written with the character for heart).

    *   Definition of Kokoro: The union of heart and mind, working as one, not in competition.

    *   Western civilization's separation of heart and mind:

        *   The head as the CEO.

        *   The heart ignored or relegated to a passive role.

        *   Consequences: Leaps don't stick, trying to live breakthroughs in the mind while ignoring the body and emotions.

5. Scientific Basis for Heart-Mind Connection

    *   The heart's intelligence: Not just a blood pump.

    *   Heart's neural network: Approximately 40,000 neurons.

    *   Information flow: Heart sends more information to the brain than vice-versa.

    *   Pre-cognitive reactions: The heart reacts milliseconds before conscious thought.

    *   Research backing: Harvard, University of California, and others.

    *   Implication: The body "feels" the terrain before the brain maps it.

    *   Ignoring the heart/intuition leads to reverting to the old baseline.

    *   Tuning into the heart and mind together makes the new terrain familiar.

6. Alignment and States of Being

    *   The principle of "alignment first, action second."

    *   Transition from "contraction" to "expansion."

    *   Defining "contraction":

        *   Physical sensations: Chest caving in, shallow breath, racing mind, heaviness.

        *   Psychological association: The old baseline, fear of the unknown.

    *   Defining "expansion":

        *   Physical sensations: Open chest, deep diaphragm breathing, relaxed shoulders, clear mind.

        *   Psychological association: The new terrain, confidence in the new identity.

    *   Leading with expansion allows "doing" to flow naturally.

7. Practical Exercise: Locking in the Leap

    *   Purpose: To ground the leap in the present moment.

    *   Step 1: Identify Contraction.

        *   Think of things put off since the leap.

        *   Feel bodily sensations of tightening (contraction).

        *   Recognize this as the "old you" trying to keep you "safe."

    *   Step 2: Imagine Expansion.

        *   Visualize the desired outcome of the task being done.

        *   Notice bodily sensations of opening and softening (expansion).

        *   Recognize this as the leap being grounded.

    *   Step 3: Future Action Protocol.

        *   Do not act from contraction.

        *   Pause, find expansion.

        *   Then, move forward.

8. Reinforcing and Stabilizing the Leap

    *   Keeping the leap "unshakable."

    *   Training the mind to spot evidence of the leap.

    *   Recognizing new responses vs. reactions.

    *   "Proving the leap in real time" (Price Pritchett's concept).

    *   Looking for proof while living it, not waiting for external validation.

    *   Past leaps may have been unrecognized.

    *   Opportunities appearing in unexpected ways ("ways that you know not of," referencing biblical phrasing).

    *   "Trusting the unknown" (Price Pritchett's concept).

    *   Recording and acknowledging this evidence in real time.

9. Anchoring the New Frequency (Heart-Mind Lock-In)

    *   A guided breathing exercise.

    *   Technique: Slow, easy breaths through the nose, belly expansion, shoulder softening.

    *   Focus: Calling up the feeling of already living the leap and expansion.

    *   Anchoring the feeling through bodily checks (shoulders, neck).

    *   Establishing the new "home frequency" as living from expansion.

10. Making Choices for Stability

    *   Every choice either stabilizes the leap or slides back to the baseline.

    *   Key check-ins:

        *   Feeling state: Contraction or expansion?

        *   Heart and mind connection: Working together or split?

    *   The power of choice: Choosing expansion, choosing Kokoro, choosing to live in the new state.

11. Invitation to Further Support and Community

    *   Offering help with grounding leaps, experiencing leaps, and identifying leaps.

    *   Mention of the "Superhuman Selling" mastermind.

    *   Format: Bi-weekly, within groups and communities.

    *   Benefits: Support from others and the opportunity to support them.

    *   Concept: "A whole rising tide lifts all ships."

    *   Call to action: Reach out and check it out.

    *   Ultimate goal: Making leaps "sticky" and establishing them as the new baseline/reality.

1. The Aftermath of Live Events and the Importance of Integration

 

• The shift that occurs at live events (e.g., Superhuman Selling Live Event in Portland).

• Recognizing the feeling of an "inner snap" or "click" after an event.

• The distinction between exciting breakthroughs and the essential nature of integration for lasting power.

• The goal of grounding the leap and locking in a "new normal" of ease, wealth, and power.

• The risk of losing momentum, collapsing frequency, or talking oneself back into smallness.

 

1. Core Concepts: Identity, ROI, and Faith

 

• The focus on identity shifts and their impact.

• The concept of Return on Investment (ROI) in personal growth and business.

• The role of faith, particularly faith in oneself.

 

1. The Parable of Talents as a Metaphor for Personal Gifts

 

• Introduction to the Parable of Talents as a framework for discussion.

• The parable's interpretation as representing gifts, capacity, and vision.

• The contrast between investing and multiplying talents versus burying them.

• The master's expectation of growth and utilization of what is given.

• Applying the parable to personal calling and potential, and one's unique frequency.

 

1. Overcoming Resistance and Recalibrating to Higher Frequencies

 

• The concept of an "activation" experienced at events.

• The idea of speaking without scripting and selling from pure alignment as a "home frequency."

• The "crabs in a bucket" analogy (specifically mentioning Kukui crabs and Robert Kiyosaki's book) to illustrate external resistance.

• The nervous system's tendency to pull individuals back into old patterns, urgency, and metrics of worth.

• The common fumble point: not anchoring the "upgrade."

• Experiencing feelings of being "off," slow, or uncertain after growth periods.

• Defining this as "recalibration" rather than regression.

• The nervous system adjusting to a "new altitude" or higher consciousness.

• Embracing discomfort as a sign of moving beyond the known.

 

1. Brandon's Personal Journey of Holding Back Gifts

 

• Brandon's realization of holding back personal gifts, not due to disbelief, but fear of being "too much."

• The self-imposed limitations of protecting others from their full voice or light.

• The subtle impact of holding back, slowing down progress in unproductive ways.

• The connection between hesitation and the obstruction of overflow.

 

1. The Wisdom of "Share the Scar, Not the Wound"

 

• Introduction of the adage: "Share the scar, not the wound."

• Brandon's initial misunderstanding and later realization of its meaning.

• The underlying reason for not sharing wounds or scars: fear of doubt from others regarding current strength.

• The realization that people need the "true version" of oneself, not a perfectly polished one.

• The importance of showing healing and the learned path, rather than a lack of past struggle.

• The role of integration in stabilizing transformation for serving from it, not bleeding from it.

 

1. Connecting Personal Growth to Tangible Results and ROI

 

• The dual desire for the "woo" (spiritual or mindset work) and tangible results.

• The impact of meditation and nervous system regulation on decision-making, retention, and creativity (citing Harvard and Stanford research).

• Higher EQ, closing rates, greater retention, and bigger deals as outcomes.

• The significant advantage (e.g., 20%+) that can be gained.

• Operating from identity versus operating from performance.

• The benefits of identity-based operation: faster selling, smoother scaling, attracting loyal clients.

• The work is about functioning better, not just feeling better, without burnout.

 

1. Community Support and Ongoing Integration

 

• Mention of resources within the "Superhuman Selling community" (e.g., guided recalibration, audio meditations).

• The ongoing process of integration and achieving "Overflow" as a new normal.

• Brandon's community coaching and mastermind discussions on "grounding the leap" and "not collapsing frequency."

• The importance of a "container" or additional space for integration after events.

• The consequence of lacking such support: loss of momentum and feeling drudgery.

• A call to action to create such support if not already available.

 

1. Final Call to Action: Investing Talents and Stopping the Leak

 

• A direct question to the audience: are they investing their talents or burying them?

• The need to stop hiding behind mastered strategies and address where energy is being leaked.

• Identifying areas of shrinking from what is rightfully theirs.

• Recognizing the pre-existence of calls and tools.

• An invitation to reach out if ready to stop burying talents and to discuss the next steps for their gifts.

• The process of grounding the leap and making overflow the new normal.

• Shifting from chasing sales to becoming a "signal voice."

1. Introduction to the Theme: Superhuman Selling

• Collaboration with Elyse Archer: The focus on superhuman selling and celebrating personal/professional evolution.

• Not everyone celebrates your progress, and that’s a sign you’re on the right track.

2. Redefining Winning in Sales and Business

• Moving beyond tactical changes to deeper transformation (“changing your source code”).

• Three pillars of true winning: Alignment, energy, and identity.

3. What “Superhuman” Really Means

• Clearing misconceptions: It’s not about superpowers.

• Referencing pop culture (Superman old and newfE movies) as a light-hearted segue.

• Emphasis on authenticity: Shedding the mask, stopping the act, and remembering your true self.

4. The Sales Shift: From Forcing to Attracting

• Moving away from scripts, tricks, and hacks.

• Selling becomes about inner frequency, presence, and fully believing in yourself.

• Transition from chasing prospects to attracting them.

5. The Crucial Difference: Identity vs. Mindset

• Mindset is not the main lens—identity is.

• If you’re still hustling or trying to be liked, you “leak energy” and repel prospects.

• The exhaustion of wearing a false persona.

6. Personal Growth Analogy: The Lobster Story

• Lobster’s uncomfortable shell as a metaphor for outgrowing your former identity.

• The necessity (and discomfort) of shedding what no longer fits to allow for new growth.

7. The Identity Upgrade and Its Effects

• Upgrading identity causes a sudden, noticeable shift (“snap into place”), not just incremental change.

• Importance of alignment: Doing the necessary work from a genuine place rather than effortful striving.

• Referencing Yoda and The Matrix: Moving from trying to simply doing—making selling second nature.

8. The Challenges of Transformation

• Acknowledgment that the journey isn’t easy or always positive.

• Your nervous system and old connections may resist your change.

• Social consequences: Some friends may distance themselves or subtly wish for your failure.

9. Emotional Realities of Growth

• The temptation to shrink back to your former self for comfort and acceptance.

• Powerful encouragement to resist this temptation (“Don’t you dare”).

• The discomfort of growth as proof of real progress (“receipt that you’re doing it right”).

10. The New Paradigm: Becoming the Win

• Shifting from chasing external wins to embodying the win internally.

• Your state of being (sale), presence (pitch), and alignment (close) are key to sustainable success.

• Letting go of “faking it,” and selling from wholeness rather than lack.

11. Support and Next Steps

• Recognizing and validating listeners who are navigating their own shifts.

• Teaser for something new and exciting coming soon in partnership with Elise Archer.

• Share the episode with others going through their own transformation and stay tuned for upcoming announcements.

Welcome back to Spirit of the Deal! In this episode, host Brandon Handley shares insights from a powerful breathwork session he recently led at Redemption Alcohol Treatment Center alongside as a guest of Brandon Novak's. With fresh reflections from Independence Day, Brandon explores the theme of liberation—what it really means to break free not just from addiction, but from limiting scripts, old patterns, and the relentless grind mode so many of us operate in, especially in business and sales.

Through vulnerable stories, practical tools, and wisdom from sources like the I Ching and David Hawkins’ “Power vs. Force,” this episode invites listeners to let go of fear-driven action and perfectionism. Instead, Brandon encourages us to stand in our authentic selves, align our actions, and approach both life and business from a place of inner freedom and truth. Tune in for thought-provoking ideas on detaching from outcomes, rewriting your personal and sales scripts, and letting your true essence do the work—because, as Brandon reminds us, liberation isn’t something to chase; it’s already within you.

After a two-year break from Spiritual Dope, I’m back—with a new vision, a new name, and the same soul. Spirit of the Deal is the next evolution, where spirituality, intention, and aligned action meet real-world results in business, sales, and life.

This podcast explores how inner alignment creates outer success. Expect plenty of solo episodes where I go behind the scenes on mindset, meditations, energetic practices, and sales flow. We’ll also bring on guests who embody this integrated approach—leaders and creators who’ve built powerful lives by tapping into their purpose and spiritual connection.

This isn’t just another podcast. It’s a return to the work that wouldn’t let me go. We’re talking breathwork to bottom line. Energy shifts to deal flow. Woo with proof. Welcome to Spirit of the Deal—where soul meets strategy.