Send us Fan Mail

What have you consciously chosen...and what are you actually rehearsing with your attention?

Because those might be two completely different things.

You can choose a thriving business and spend most of your attention monitoring why people aren't buying.

You can choose wealth and continually check for evidence that you don't have enough.

You can choose love and analyze every interaction looking for rejection or abandonment.

You can choose visibility and obsess over the views that aren't happening.

You've consciously chosen one reality...

while your attention keeps rehearsing another.

In this episode of Spiritually Kinky™, Dustin Lea Wheeler explores Focus—the second movement in the conscious creation process.

And focus isn't positive thinking.

It isn't pretending current reality doesn't exist.

It isn't ignoring your circumstances, suppressing disappointment, or spiritually bypassing what is actually happening.

Current reality is data.

And conscious creation requires us to see that data clearly.

But there's a massive difference between allowing current reality to inform your next action...

and allowing current reality to determine what's possible for your future.

Your current reality gets a vote in what you do next.

It does not get a vote in what you're allowed to choose.

This episode explores the creative tension that exists between True Choice and Current Reality—and why the gap between what exists and what you've chosen isn't necessarily a problem that needs to disappear.

That tension is part of creation.

The question becomes:

Can you tolerate the space between what exists and what you've chosen without abandoning the choice?

We unpack why our automatic feeling-based system often wants to collapse a new choice back down to something familiar, how analyzing a problem can eventually become rehearsing the problem, and why the absence of what you want can quietly become the primary object of your focus.

You'll also discover an essential distinction between reality and interpretation.

Self-trust isn't blindly believing your first interpretation of everything.

It's remaining present long enough to discern what is actually true.

And that's where focus becomes powerful.

Focus is the capacity to remain organized around what you've consciously chosen while being fully present with what actually exists.

You don't have to deny the present.

You don't have to know exactly how the future will unfold.

You need to know what you've chosen, see clearly where you are, and become willing to participate in the space between them.

And once you can do that...

we reach the next movement in conscious creation:

Flow.

Because eventually, you have to stop controlling exactly how the gap between your choice and current reality gets closed.

🔥 JOIN THE SPIRITUALLY KINKY COMMUNITY FOR CREATORS

Inside the Spiritually Kinky Community for Creators on Skool, we go deeper into the structure underneath conscious creation.

We uncover your True Choices, get honest about Current Reality, identify the unconscious instructions and automatic responses pulling your attention toward the past, and learn how to consciously create through:

Choice → Focus → Flow → New Results

Stop asking what is to tell you what can be.

Start consciously creating what you would actually love.

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com

Send us Fan Mail

What if the goals you're working so hard to achieve aren't actually what you want?

We tend to assume that because we set a goal, we made a conscious choice.

But look underneath many of our goals and you'll find something else making the decision.

Our past.

Our fear.

Our conditioning.

Our limitations.

Other people's expectations.

Our need to control what happens.

Or sometimes...

we never really chose at all.

In this episode of Spiritually Kinky™, Dustin Lea Wheeler breaks down seven ineffective ways we choose—and how those choices can keep us unconsciously recreating variations of the same reality.

Because there is a massive difference between choosing what you genuinely desire...

and choosing what you believe will fix, resolve, escape, prove, or control something.

We explore what happens when you choose a goal because you believe achieving it will finally make you feel worthy, successful, lovable, safe, or complete.

We look at choice reaction—when your entire goal is built around getting away from an unwanted experience.

We unpack choice from limitation—when you aren't really asking what you want, but what seems realistic based on your current circumstances and past results.

We examine goals built around other people's opinions, where your life quietly becomes organized around keeping everyone else comfortable.

Then there's control—when you've chosen an end result but decided it must arrive through one exact person, strategy, opportunity, timeline, or route.

And indirectness—when the thing you think you want is actually just a vehicle you've decided will get you somewhere else.

Then there's one of the sneakiest choices of all:

Default.

Not choosing.

Because not choosing is still choosing.

It's like sitting in a rudderless boat.

Sometimes the current carries you onto a beautiful shore in the sunshine.

Sometimes you're smashed against the rocks.

And if you aren't actively creating toward what you love and desire, you can very easily become an element in somebody else's ambitions.

Once we see these patterns, something becomes clear:

Most goals aren't necessarily true end results.

They're often solutions to negative visions.

So what does a true choice look like?

It's beautifully simple:

An end result you desire to create for no other reason than you would love to see it made manifest.

Not because it fixes you.

Not because it proves something.

Not because somebody else approves.

Not because you already know how.

Simply because you would love to create it.

That's where conscious creation begins.

🔥 JOIN THE SPIRITUALLY KINKY COMMUNITY FOR CREATORS

Inside the Spiritually Kinky Community for Creators on Skool, we use specific processes to uncover your true choices and separate what you genuinely desire from what your conditioning has taught you is possible.

We also use a lens-based creation process to break the big vision into precise end results that work with your natural rhythm and flow.

Because conscious creation isn't about controlling every detail of your future.

It's about becoming the active creator of a life you would genuinely love.

Choice → Focus → Flow → New Results

And once you know what you actually choose...

the next question becomes:

What the fuck are you focusing on?

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com

Send us Fan Mail

What if the fact that your new life feels unfamiliar isn’t evidence that you’re on the wrong path?

Maybe it feels unfamiliar because you’ve finally stopped recreating what you already know.

In this episode of Spiritually Kinky™, Dustin Lea Wheeler explores what happens after you make a conscious choice for something you genuinely want—and suddenly every old fear, assumption, limitation, and automatic emotional response starts getting loud.

Because we all have an unconscious, automated, feeling-based system running in the background.

It has learned from your experiences, relationships, family, culture, conditioning, and the survival strategies that helped you navigate the life you’ve already lived.

Then you choose something completely new...

and expect your nervous system, thoughts, behaviors, expectations, and entire self-concept to reorganize by fucking Tuesday.

Maybe not.

Maybe doing something completely new should feel unfamiliar.

Sometimes the discomfort that appears after making a new choice doesn’t mean you’re misaligned.

Your choice may not have created the limitation. Your choice may have simply made it visible.

And that distinction changes how we consciously create.

Instead of automatically treating resistance as a stop sign, we can stay present long enough to discern whether something is genuinely wrong—or whether we’re simply encountering something our old identity doesn’t know yet.

But that requires something else:

Precision.

Because before you learn to stay with a conscious choice, you need to know that the choice is actually yours.

Most of us have learned to filter what we want through what we believe we can realistically have.

What feels achievable.

What feels safe.

What makes sense.

What our past provides evidence for.

What someone like us is “supposed” to be able to create.

And sometimes, by the time our desire passes through all those filters, it barely resembles what we wanted in the first place.

Conscious creation asks a different question:

What would you actually love?

Not what do you think you can have.

Not what can you currently explain how to create.

What would you love?

Then comes becoming.

Because you don’t necessarily become the new identity and THEN create the new result.

You become the new identity through participating in the creation of the new result.

There can be a lag between the moment you consciously choose something new and the moment that new reality begins to feel familiar.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

It may mean you’re becoming someone you haven’t practiced being yet.

So maybe the question isn’t:

“Does this feel like me yet?”

Maybe it’s:

“Is this who I’m willing to become?”

🔥 JOIN THE SPIRITUALLY KINKY COMMUNITY FOR CREATORS HERE

This is exactly the work we do inside the Spiritually Kinky Community for Creators on Skool.

We help you separate what you truly want from what you’ve been conditioned to believe you can have, recognize the unconscious limitations that surface when you move beyond the familiar, and consciously create through:

Choice → Focus → Flow → New Results

Because you’re not broken when the old shit comes up.

You’re meeting the structure.

And once you can see the structure, you don’t have to let it choose your future.

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com

Send us Fan Mail

What if your need to know isn't actually about finding the truth—but about trying to make uncertainty feel safe?

We have access to more information than any generation before us.

And yet with all those answers available, many of us have lost touch with something information can't give us:

Our own wisdom.

In this episode of Spiritually Kinky™, Dustin Lea Wheeler explores our addiction to knowing and what self-trust actually looks like when you don't have certainty about what happens next.

Because sometimes we're not searching for more information.

We're searching for relief.

We want to know where the relationship is going, whether the business will work, what someone's behavior means, whether we're making the right decision, and whether the feeling we're having is intuition, fear, or an old survival pattern.

But self-trust doesn't mean believing every interpretation your mind produces.

Self-trust isn't trusting your first interpretation of everything. It's trusting yourself enough to stay present until you can see what is actually true.

And when you're consciously creating something you've never experienced before, there's another problem:

Your past may not contain the evidence you're looking for.

The new cannot always be proven by the old.

That's where magic enters.

Not by abandoning logic.

Magic is creating beyond what logic can currently prove—and stepping beyond that edge requires trust.

But not knowing doesn't mean doing nothing.

You may not need to know exactly how yet.

But you do need to choose.

And making a true choice can require unpacking everything you've been conditioned to believe you're allowed to want, capable of having, or supposed to consider realistic.

Because if you're not consciously choosing, something is still choosing.

Your history.

Your family.

Your conditioning.

Your survival patterns.

The instructions you've accumulated about what is safe and possible.

Conscious creation asks something different:

What if what has been doesn't get to decide what comes next?

You don't need the entire map.

You need a choice.

You need somewhere to place your focus.

And you need enough self-trust to participate with what unfolds.

🔥 JOIN THE SPIRITUALLY KINKY COMMUNITY FOR CREATORS ON SKOOL

This is exactly the work we're doing inside the Spiritually Kinky Community for Creators on Skool—learning how to separate what you truly choose from what you've been conditioned to believe you can have, then consciously create toward it through:

Awareness - Choice → Focus → Flow → New Results

If you're ready to stop asking your past what's possible and start consciously creating what you would actually love, come join us.

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com

Send us Fan Mail

Your attention may be one of the most valuable things you possess.

And everyone wants a piece of it.

We live in a world with more access to one another, more information, faster answers, and more convenience than ever before.

But access isn't intimacy.

Availability isn't presence.

And being physically somewhere doesn't mean we're actually there.

In this episode of Spiritually Kinky™, Dustin Lea Wheeler explores what our disappearing capacity for presence may be costing our relationships, creativity, self-trust, focus, and ability to consciously create.

This isn't another conversation about putting down your phone.

Because distraction isn't always about technology.

Sometimes distraction protects us from what might surface if we stayed still long enough to hear ourselves.

And in a culture obsessed with making everything quicker, we've started expecting things that require depth—like trust, intimacy, creativity, identity, and meaningful change—to happen at the same speed.

But some things only become available when we stay.

Depth requires duration. And duration requires presence.

This episode also explores what happens when we bring our past into our relationships so completely that we stop experiencing the person actually standing in front of us.

Because:

You cannot deeply know someone you are constantly predicting.

And underneath all of this is a bigger question:

Are you participating in your own life—or mostly consuming it?

Your attention isn't neutral.

Where you repeatedly place it becomes part of your experience. Where you sustain it begins shaping your reality. And what continually receives it participates in the life you're creating.

Maybe presence really is the new currency.

Because the rarest gift you can give another human being may no longer be more of your time.

It may be more of you inside the time you already share.

And perhaps the greatest gift you can give yourself is exactly the same.

Be here. Your life is already happening.

🔥 JOIN THE SPIRITUALLY KINKY COMMUNITY FOR CREATORS

Unlock your superpowers of conscious creation so you can stop unconsciously repeating the life you've survived and start consciously creating a life you actually desire.

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com

Send us Fan Mail

What if needing someone isn’t weakness—but one of the deepest expressions of self-trust?

We’ve been taught to celebrate independence. To become whole on our own. To stop needing validation. To detach.

But what happens when independence quietly becomes armor?

In this episode of Spiritually Kinky™, Dustin Lea Wheeler explores what happens when you deeply desire connection but have also learned that letting another human matter creates risk.

Because sometimes “I don’t need anyone” isn’t freedom.

Sometimes it’s protection.

If you’ve experienced rejection, heartbreak, abandonment, or losing yourself inside a relationship, it makes sense that some part of you might decide it’s safer not to need too much.

But that protection can eventually stand between you and the intimacy you actually want to create.

This conversation explores the difference between healthy attachment and losing yourself, why receiving can feel uncomfortable when you’re used to being fiercely independent, and what self-trust actually looks like when another person becomes important to you.

Because self-trust isn’t knowing you’ll choose perfectly.

It isn’t knowing someone will stay.

And it isn’t a guarantee that opening your heart will never hurt.

Self-trust is knowing you will remain with yourself while you discover what happens.

Perhaps the goal was never to become someone who doesn’t need anyone.

Perhaps it’s becoming someone who can let another human matter without abandoning themselves.

That might be one of the kinkiest—and most courageous—forms of vulnerability there is.

🔥 JOIN THE SPIRITUALLY KINKY COMMUNITY FOR CREATORS

Unlock your superpowers of conscious creation so you can start creating a life you actually desire instead of just one that you’ve survived.

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com

Send us Fan Mail

What if your healing journey has quietly become another way to punish yourself?

There comes a point where self-awareness can stop creating freedom and start becoming self-surveillance.

You know the pattern. You recognize the trigger. You understand the attachment wound. You know why rejection hurts, why you detach, why you overthink, and why certain situations keep appearing in your life.

But after all that awareness, you can still find yourself wondering:

Maybe it's me. Maybe there's something else I need to fix.

In this episode of Spiritually Kinky™, Dustin Lea Wheeler explores the uncomfortable line between self-awareness and self-punishment—and what happens when our endless search for why keeps our attention attached to the very past we're trying to escape.

We unpack what it means to consciously create something you've never experienced before, whether that's a new friendship, intimate relationship, partnership, business, identity, or way of being in the world.

And we challenge a few of the stories we've picked up along the way:

What if getting triggered doesn't mean you're unhealed?

What if attachment isn't inherently bad?

What if discomfort isn't evidence you're making the wrong choice?

What if you're simply a beginner at something new?

Because self-trust isn't knowing you'll always choose perfectly.

Self-trust is knowing you won't abandon yourself while you discover what happens.

At some point, the question has to stop being:

“What else do I need to heal?”

And become:

“What would I love to create now?”

Maybe the next level of healing isn't finding another reason why you are the way you are.

Maybe it's trusting yourself enough to choose what you'd love—and allowing yourself to be a beginner at becoming the person who can receive it.

🔥 Join the Spiritually Kinky Community for Creators on Skool

Unlock your superpowers of conscious creation so you can start creating a life you actually desire instead of just one that you've survived.

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com

Send us Fan Mail

What if it fails?

That question sounds like it belongs to business, but it doesn’t.

It belongs to becoming. It belongs to love. It belongs to intuition. It belongs to every moment where you stand at the edge of something new and the old version of you starts asking the future for a guarantee it cannot give you yet.

In this candid Spiritually Kinky episode, Dustin Lea Wheeler shares four real conversations from her week that all pointed to the same deeper pattern.

A woman changing her identity and realizing how uncomfortable becoming someone new can feel.

A woman choosing not to get a pet because she was trying to avoid the grief of losing it.

A woman overwhelmed with information and unsure who or what to trust.

And a young entrepreneur, already building something in the world, asking the question so many creators quietly carry:

What if it doesn’t work?

This episode is for the part of you that keeps waiting for certainty before you choose.

Because the new identity may not feel natural right away. Love may still carry risk. Your intuition may not come with outside validation. The thing you build may not work the first time.

But nothing new gets created by waiting for proof.

Inside this episode, we explore why familiar does not always mean true, how protection can quietly become self-abandonment, why more information does not always create more wisdom, and what it really means to trust yourself when nothing is guaranteed.

Because maybe the better question is not, “What if it fails?”

Maybe the better question is:

Who do I become if I finally let myself try?

If this episode speaks to the version of you who is tired of repeating what you survived and ready to consciously create what you actually desire, come join us inside the Spiritually Kinky Community for Creators on Skool.

This is where we unlock your superpowers of Conscious Creation so you can start creating a life you actually desire, instead of just one you’ve survived.

Join our Skook Community Here! 

You are not broken. You’re structured. And once you understand the structure, you can choose something new.

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com

Send us Fan Mail

Most of us were never taught how to create secure relationships.

We were taught how to chase them.

In this episode of Spiritually Kinky, Dustin Lea Wheeler unpacks the psychology behind attachment and attraction, revealing why the intensity we often mistake for chemistry is frequently an activated nervous system searching for safety.

Drawing from attachment theory and modern psychology, Dustin explores the three primary attachment patterns—anxious, avoidant, and secure—and why anxious and avoidant relationships often become trapped in the familiar push-pull cycle that leaves both people feeling disconnected.

But this conversation goes far beyond dating.

It reveals how the exact same unconscious patterns influence the way we create our businesses, our finances, our purpose, and the lives we're trying to build.

Rather than teaching you how to "fix" your attachment style, Dustin introduces a different path:

True choice creates security.
Security creates healthy detachment.
Healthy detachment creates attraction.

Because the goal isn't becoming someone who cares less.

The goal is becoming someone who no longer abandons themselves in the pursuit of what they desire.

If you've ever found yourself overthinking texts, chasing reassurance, gripping tightly to outcomes, or wondering why the same relationship patterns keep repeating, this episode will help you understand what your nervous system has been trying to protect—and how conscious choice can begin creating a completely different reality.

In this episode you'll discover:

• The difference between attachment and genuine attraction\

• Why anxious and avoidant attachment styles naturally create a push-pull dynamic

• How your nervous system influences the energy you bring into every relationship

• Why confidence isn't something you fake—it's something you create

• The psychology behind true choice, security, and healthy detachment

• How these same patterns shape your relationship with success, money, purpose, and conscious creation

If this landed, come find me. The Spiritually Kinky community is nine dollars — it's where we do this work together instead of you doing it alone. Link's in the show notes.

Skool Community:  Spiritually Kinky Community for Creators  - Move from Surviving Your Life to Creating a Life You Love! 

https://www.skool.com/spiritually-kinky-entrepreneur-5210/about?ref=35dc7df58ae145ac815eed1673d081bb

 ✨ ✨ Join the Freedom Bridge Immersive where I teach you how to Unlock your superpowers of conscious creation by harnessing your powers of choice, focus and flow and walk out with a 90 Day Execution Plan!
dustinleawheeler.com/the-freedom-bridge

Support the show

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com

Send us Fan Mail

Most people think they're creating their future.

What if they're actually recreating their past?

In this episode, Dustin Wheeler welcomes back Michael Lowe for one of the most honest conversations yet about relationships, masculine and feminine energy, intimacy, nervous system safety, and what it means to move beyond survival.

Rather than chasing healing as another self-improvement project, they explore how true transformation happens when we stop creating from old wounds and begin creating from the wholeness that's already within us.

It's a conversation about love, identity, presence, conscious partnership, and the subtle ways our past continues shaping our future until we choose differently.

Whether you're navigating relationships, building a business, or simply trying to understand yourself more deeply, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on healing that goes far beyond traditional personal development.

You'll discover:

• Why we recreate familiar relationship dynamics

• The role of healthy masculine and feminine energy

• How nervous system safety transforms intimacy

• The difference between healing and wholeness

• Why awareness isn't enough to change your life

• How conscious creation begins with identity

Connect with Michael Lowe

Website:
 https://www.michaellowehealing.com/

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/michael.a.lowe_

If this landed, come find me. The Spiritually Kinky community is nine dollars — it's where we do this work together instead of you doing it alone. Link's in the show notes.

Skool Community: 

https://www.skool.com/spiritually-kinky-entrepreneur-5210/about?ref=35dc7df58ae145ac815eed1673d081bb

Support the show

 ✨ Book a Conscious Creation Call with me: https://calendly.com/dustinleawheeler/visioncall

 🍓 Explore all the Spiritually Kinky magic on the website: www.spirituallykinky.com