In this episode of Split Decisions, Amanda Bell and Joanna Harrison are joined by psychotherapist and psychosexual therapist Anna Kingsley to explore how addiction affects relationships, separation and family life. Drawing on her work with couples and individuals, Anna explains why addiction is rarely just an individual issue, but something that reshapes the whole relational system, from partners and children to wider family dynamics.

Together, they unpack the secrecy, shame and emotional exhaustion that often surround addiction, and how the non-addicted partner can become caught in cycles of caretaking, monitoring or over-functioning. Through a dilemma involving a mother navigating divorce from a husband struggling with alcohol addiction, they explore boundaries, children, legal proceedings, safety, support and the painful truth that love alone cannot fix addiction.

We explore:

• How addiction changes the dynamic between partners

• Why shame and secrecy make addiction so hard to name

• The role of the non-addicted partner as caretaker or monitor

• How alcohol, drugs, gambling, work and pornography can affect relationships

• Why children often know more than adults realise

• How to talk to children about addiction in an age-appropriate way

• The impact of addiction on divorce and mediation

• Why clear boundaries matter when separating from someone with addiction

• How to protect children while supporting their relationship with both parents

• Why the non-addicted partner needs their own support

• The importance of stepping away without hatred or punishment

• Why recovery is possible, even when the relationship ends

Links:

Learn more about SeparateSpace: https://www.separatespace.co.uk/

Follow Amanda at SeparateSpace on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/separatespace/

Follow Joanna Harrison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joannaharrisoncoupletherapy/

Find out more about Anna Kingsley’s work: https://kingsleycounselling.com/  

In this episode of Split Decisions, Amanda Bell and Joanna Harrison are joined by psychoanalyst and author Juliet Rosenfeld to explore the deeply human and often devastating reality of affairs. Drawing on the real stories from her book Affairs: True Stories of Love, Lies and Desire, Juliet shares what infidelity can reveal about our childhood wounds, relationships and capacity for intimacy.

Together, they unpack why affairs happen, the shockwave they create inside families and communities, and whether relationships can truly recover after betrayal. Through a dilemma involving an affair within a school parent community, they explore the emotional fallout of infidelity, the impact on children, and the importance of slowing down before making life changing decisions in the immediate aftermath of discovery.

We explore:

• Why affairs are rarely just about sex or attraction

• The unconscious childhood wounds that can shape adult relationships

• Why betrayal can feel so psychologically shattering

• The impact of affairs on children and family systems

• The humiliation and claustrophobia of affairs within close communities

• Why communication often breaks down before an affair begins

• Whether couples can rebuild trust after infidelity

• How therapy can help individuals and couples process betrayal

• Why some relationships emerge stronger after an affair

• The difference between understanding behaviour and excusing it

Links:

Learn more about SeparateSpace: https://www.separatespace.co.uk/

Follow Amanda at SeparateSpace on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/separatespace/

Follow Joanna Harrison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joannaharrisoncoupletherapy/

Juliet Rosenfeld’s book Affairs: True Stories of Love, Lies and Desire and wherever books are sold.

Follow Juliet Rosenfeld on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/julietrosenfeldpsychoanalyst/ 

In this episode of Split Decisions, Amanda Bell and Joanna Harrison are joined by Amy Grilli, founder of The Five Hour Club, to talk about one of the biggest practical and emotional challenges after separation: returning to work after years out of the workforce.

Amy shares her own experience of stepping away from paid work to raise her two sons and the identity crisis she faced when trying to re-enter the workplace. Together, they explore the invisible pressures placed on parents, particularly mothers, the loss of confidence that can come with career breaks, and the reality of trying to rebuild financial independence while managing children, school runs and emotional upheaval after divorce.

Through a dilemma from a mother facing divorce after a 12 year career gap, they unpack the panic, grief and overwhelm so many people feel when they suddenly need to earn again following separation. This episode offers reassurance, practical insight and a powerful reframing of what parents bring to the workforce after years of caregiving.

We explore:

• The confidence crisis that often follows career breaks

• Why caregiving builds valuable workplace skills

• The hidden impact of traditional family roles on identity and relationships

• Returning to work after divorce and financial dependence

• How flexibility can make or break a parent’s career

• Why transparency about flexibility matters with employers

• The emotional toll of feeling “left behind” professionally

• Rebuilding self worth after years out of the workforce

• Why parents should stop undervaluing their experience

• How workplace culture needs to change for modern families

Links:

Learn more about SeparateSpace: https://www.separatespace.co.uk/

Follow Amanda at SeparateSpace on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/separatespace/

Follow Joanna Harrison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joannaharrisoncoupletherapy/

Follow The Five Hour Club on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fivehourclub/

Find out more about The Five Hour Club: https://fivehourclub.com/ 

Learn about the Parents Promise HR Initiative: https://theparentspromise.org.uk/hr-initiative

In this episode of Split Decisions, Amanda Bell and Joanna Harrison are joined by family law expert and co-parenting mentor Nik Shaw, known online as @LegallyNick. They explore the frustrating "Disney Parent" phenomenon, where a previously disengaged ex suddenly transforms into "Parent of the Year" post-separation. Nick shares her journey from child protection law to her work as a Mackenzie friend, offering an empathetic, trauma-informed perspective on the messy gray areas of divorce that clinical legal advice often overlooks.

The conversation covers practical strategies for high-conflict dynamics, including "Gray Rocking" and "Yellow Rocking" to maintain your peace. They also tackle a listener dilemma regarding the resentment felt when an ex uses the children for social media clout while finally stepping up to parenting duties. By balancing legal reality with emotional recovery, the episode provides a roadmap for separating personal pain from co-parenting duties, helping you navigate the transition into a new family rhythm with confidence.

We explore:

• The "Disney Parent" Shift: Understanding why an ex suddenly "levels up" their parenting after the split.

• Gray Rock & Yellow Rock: Communication techniques to disengage from high-conflict "dance floors."

• The Mackenzie Friend Advantage: How to find affordable, hand-holding support outside of the traditional solicitor model.

• Weaponised Social Media: Navigating the pain of seeing your children used for "Father of the Year" content.

• The Breath Pause: Why rushing to "fix" arrangements in a state of panic can lead to a nuclear fallout.

• Separating the Pain: Learning to distinguish between your personal betrayal and your child’s right to a relationship.

• Dropping the Ego: How to step off the emotional tug-of-war and focus on the interim reality of two households.

Links:

Learn more about SeparateSpace: https://www.separatespace.co.uk/ 

Follow Amanda at SeparateSpace on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/separatespace/ 

Follow Joanna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joannaharrisoncoupletherapy/ 

Follow Nik on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/legallynik/ 

This week on Split Decisions, Joanna and Amanda welcome the wonderful Rosie Green, journalist and author of the essential guide How to Heal a Broken Heart. Rosie has spent decades writing for iconic titles like Elle and Red, but it was her decision to write with raw honesty about the end of her 26 year relationship that resonated with thousands globally. In this episode, she opens up about the "blindsiding" nature of her divorce and the long, often messy journey of rebuilding from the ground up.

Rosie shares the deeply personal reality of the "hellish" months following the discovery of infidelity, including the simultaneous loss of her marriage and her job. She speaks with rare candour about the shock to her identity, the humiliation of trying to save a relationship that was already over, and the eventual liberation that comes with "dropping the rope." This conversation is a masterclass in midlife resilience for anyone standing in the wreckage of a life they didn't plan for.

We explore:

• The Identity Double Whammy: Navigating the loss of a husband and a career at the same time.

• The "Mind Scramble": Managing the emotional pain of legal letters and conflicting truths.

• Confidence Beyond the Haircut: Why small, nourishing acts of self-care beat a radical makeover.

• The "Script" Strategy: How to handle questions at the school gates and protect your energy.

• Midlife Dating & Red Flags: Spotting love bombers and navigating the "wild west" of apps.

• Drop the Rope: Letting go of the tug of war over who has the "right" version of the story.

• Ownership: Moving from head in the sand to taking full control of your finances.

Links:
Learn more about SeparateSpace: https://www.separatespace.co.uk/

Follow Amanda at SeparateSpace on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/separatespace/

Follow Joanna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joannaharrisoncoupletherapy/

Follow Rosie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifesrosie/

Order Rosie’s book, ‘How to Heal a Broken Heart:  From Rock Bottom to Reinvention (via ugly crying on the bathroom floor)’: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Heal-Broken-Heart-Reinvention/dp/1398701297

Welcome to Split Decisions. A podcast that explores what really happens when relationships end, beyond the legal process and into the emotional reality of separation. Hosted by Amanda Bell, co-founder of Separate Space, and relationship therapist Joanna Harrison, this miniseries unpacks the conversations people don’t always say out loud. From affairs to co-parenting, addiction to money, each episode tackles real dilemmas and asks, what would you do?

Coming soon!