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STRAIGHT OUTTA EXCUSES
Service or Serve Us - Part 3
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
October 2, 2022

Have you ever sensed God might be asking you to do something for which you felt totally inadequate? You’re certainly not alone. But you’re never too old, too young, or too inexperienced to be used by God. The only ability God seems to care about is availability.

SERIES: Service or Serve Us
It was the Nobel Prize-winning Dr. Albert Schweitzer who once said, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know, the only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” This is something both Dr. Schweitzer and Jesus shared in common that is radically other-centered.
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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1.) Bob Goff said, “God often uses the least qualified, most available people to get things done.” Can you think of any other Bible characters besides the ones Pastor Keith addressed in this weekend’s message that also fit this description? Who are they? What did they do? Have you ever experienced this personally or in someone you know well? How did God use them?

2.) Daniel and his friends were so very young when they were carried off into Babylonian captivity, yet the way they withstood the tests their Babylonian captors put on them puts many adults to shame. Both this week and last week, Pastor Keith has emphasized how God used and still uses young people all the time to accomplish what He wants done in the world. The Bible is filled with examples and so is life. Who are some young people that have really left a mark on the world? How and why is that?

3.) Caleb at age 85 is an example of someone who, though elderly, still had passion in his bones and purpose in his life to accomplish something great for God. Robin Russell, a few weeks back, shared a message that dealt in part with ageism and how we often don’t value the wisdom & experience of age. Who are some older people in the church and outside the church that are making a big difference in the world? How and why is that?

4.) Many of us lack experience, education, formal training, or have been cowered down so much by criticism that we think we have nothing of value to offer. There’s no question, Moses thought this way and of all characters in the Bible, puts up the most strenuous string of excuses to evade doing what God asked him to do. What are some common excuses people make for not serving God or attempting something outside their comfort zone? Have you ever made excuses for not sharing your faith? Being involved in serving in the church? Or connecting with a need in the community that moved your heart? How did you work through that? If you attempted to do something you’ve never done before, what was that experience like for you? How did God show up? What did you learn?

5.) Troy Freeman is an excellent example of someone who could’ve dismissed having a role in changing the world for Christ given his background & track record. But Troy was convinced something needed to be done to help those coming out of prison and off the streets – not a hand-out but a hand-up. He had a dream, dared to believe it, & put it into shoe leather. Even with all the strikes against him, God used Troy Freeman because he made himself available to God. Right now, offer your life as it is to God for His service. Pray for one another to have the courage to say “yes” to God for whatever He asks of you. No matter what obstacles stand in your way, remind yourself, “If God wills it so, if He wants it done, then no obstacle, no giant is really in my way. It’s in God’s way. And there simply is no giant too big for God.”

https://www.springcreekchurch.org/
#realspringcreekchurch #serviceorserveus #service #serving #serve #Jesus #straightouttaexcuses #excuses #availability

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FUEL YOUR PASSION BY FINDING YOUR PURPOSE
Service or Serve Us - Part 2
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
September 25, 2022

Each of us was made to crave so much more than what we settle for. We were created by God in such a way that there’s a song our lungs were made to sing, a race our legs were made to run, and a purpose our lives were meant to fulfill. That’s what this message is all about – discovering your purpose in order to fully live out your passion.

SERIES: Service or Serve Us
It was the Nobel Prize-winning Dr. Albert Schweitzer who once said, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know, the only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” This is something both Dr. Schweitzer and Jesus shared in common - a stunning reversal of the Me-First paradigm with an approach that is radically other-centered.
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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1.) Adolescence is a time in all of our lives when we are most in touch with our passions. We feel things fiercely; love, hate, desire, dreams, hunger, etc.. Everything within us wants to matter and make a difference. Share with the group some of your adolescent dreams. What did you long to be when you grew up? What causes did you take on? What did you feel most passionately about? How has that helped to make you who you are today? What part, if any, still remains?

2.) Take some time to discuss passion drainers or passion killers. What happened or what was said to you that dampened your enthusiasm or squelched your dreams?

3.) One passion killer that really needs to be discussed is low-gear living. What does it mean to live in low gear? How often, especially in church, do we hear a message asking for minimal, low-level commitments? What effect does that actually have on people? What happens in a Christianity that sets the bar too low creating followers who are under-challenged and overindulged?

4.) Pastor Keith described 3 Levels of Living. Share with the group your experiences, if you have any, with each of these levels.

• The Survival Level
• The Success Level
• The Significance Level

5.) The two essentials in re-igniting passion are to listen to the call of God and listen to the cry of the world. The call of God is those times when God pushes us out of our comfort zone and often uses us in areas where we feel weak or inadequate. Have you ever gone through something like this? What was that like for you? How did God work through you? The other aspect of God is listening to the cry of the world. This is where some need in the world around us grabs hold of us in ways that other things don’t. It doesn’t mean that those other things don’t matter but that God is calling on us to focus on this particular area of need because it fits with who we are and how He’s wired us up. What sort of people or situations create a heightened sense of caring, connection, and desire to make a difference in you? This could be your ministry from God. Try stepping into the situation just to lean in and learn more.

6.) Rosa Parks is a prime example of someone who decided to no longer live in contradiction to who she actually was. Not only did she take a heroic stand on that bus in Montgomery that day but she also decided she would no longer be complicit in her own diminishment. Her stand that day changed history. God made you a certain way for His reasons. Be who you are. Don’t contradict who you are on account of the pressure from others who surround you. Have you ever made a stand or statement because you knew in your core who you are and decided you would no longer sit on the sidelines while life passed you by? How did it feel? What was the result?

https://www.springcreekchurch.org/
#realspringcreekchurch #serviceorserveus #service #serving #serve #Jesus #fuelyourpassion #passion #findyourpurpose #purpose

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SERVICE IN A "SERVE ME" WORLD
Service or Serve Us - Part 1
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
September 18, 2022

Do you want to know the secret to a blessed life? It’s no mystery. Jesus couldn’t have been clearer. He said, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it” (Matthew 16.25). Jesus radically reorients our thinking and priorities. Rather than pursuing selfish interests, living for one’s self, and making our own needs #1, Jesus tells us to do the opposite – if we give our lives away, we’ll find what we’ve been looking for all along. Join us on this journey as we explore how to live and serve like Jesus.

SERIES: Service or Serve Us
It was the Nobel Prize-winning Dr. Albert Schweitzer who once said, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know, the only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” This is something both Dr. Schweitzer and Jesus shared in common - a stunning reversal of the Me-First paradigm with an approach that is radically other-centered. 

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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1.) Pastor Keith shared, how the more we make our own happiness the focus and center of our life, the more happiness eludes us. Discuss your own thoughts about this concept. How have you seen it play out in your life and that of others?

2.) Psychologist Bernard Rimland, at the Institute for Child Behavior Research in San Diego, published a simple test. He tells his students to...

“Make a list of ten people you know the best. After each name write either H (for happy) or N (for unhappy). Then go down the list again, this time writing S (for selfish) or U (for unselfish) after each name. Once you have completed your list, add up all the categories, Happy-selfish, Happy-unselfish, Unhappy-selfish, unhappy-unselfish.”

Try this experiment on your own or with your group. Discuss the results. Give examples 

3.) Pastor Keith shared the signs that something has gone wrong in regard to how we are serving or what is motivating us to serve. In particular, he highlighted three attitudes.

•  When I feel used and unappreciated

•  When I feel possessive and overprotective

•  When I feel disrespect and resentment

Has any of these scenarios ever been something you had to face? If so, which one(s) and did you recognize it as problematic? How did you deal with it?

4.) One remedy Pastor Keith suggested for dealing with problem attitudes when it comes to serving is practicing the discipline of secrecy. Secrecy about the ways in which we are serving crucifies our need for self-importance. It keeps the focus on who we are doing this for – the Lord not people. Have you ever practiced the discipline of secrecy in regard to service? Share with the group your experience with that – both your struggles and your breakthroughs.

https://www.springcreekchurch.org/
#realspringcreekchurch #serviceorserveus #service #serving #serve #Jesus

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STRENGTH IN SOLITUDE
Pastor Jessica Fernandez, Ph.D
September 11, 2022

There are many times in life when we experience loneliness - times when we feel alone, empty, and disconnected. On the contrary, solitude is a sense of deep connection with our God where we find a sense of belonging. Jesus often spent time in silence and solitude to encounter the Father. Loneliness is dependent on what is happening around us, whereas solitude is time alone that is focused solely on our dependence on God. In times of loneliness, encountering the Father produces strength in solitude.

1. SOLITUDE IS GOD’S REMEDY FOR LONELINESS.

“Like many other feelings in our lives, it’s easier to experience it than to define it. Loneliness is being all by yourself even when you’re surrounded by people. Loneliness is a feeling of isolation even in the midst of a crowd. You feel unwanted. You feel unneeded. You feel as though there’s nothing to live for. You feel as though nobody really cares anymore. That’s loneliness. Loneliness eats away at the inner person. It saps you of strength. It robs you of hope, Loneliness, as it were, puts a wall around you no matter how free you may be.”
- Warren Wiersbe

2. LONELINESS IS NOT BEING ALONE, BUT FEELING ALONE. You can BE alone and not FEEL lonely at all.

“I found solitary confinement the most forbidding (hostile) aspect of prison life. There is no end and no beginning; there is only one’s mind, which can begin to play tricks. Was that a dream or did it really happen? One begins to question everything.” - Nelson Mandela
 “Solitude is a gift from God, but isolation is a tool of the enemy.” - Carey Nieuwhof

3. IN TIMES OF LONELINESS, ENCOUNTERING THE FATHER PRODUCES STRENGTH IN SOLITUDE.

“If we possess inward solitude we do not fear being alone, for we know that we are not alone. Neither do we fear being with others, for they do not control us. In the midst of noise and confusion, we are settled into a deep inner silence. Whether alone or among people, we always carry with us a portable sanctuary of the heart.” - Richard Foster

• If Jesus, the son of God, the savior of the world had made time to connect with God, without distractions, how much more do we need to be practicing the spiritual discipline of solitude?

• If time with God is so important and beneficial - why is it so hard?

“Solitude is the Spiritual Discipline of voluntarily and temporarily withdrawing to privacy for spiritual purposes. The period of solitude may last only a few minutes or for days. As with silence, solitude may be sought in order to participate without interruption in other Spiritual Disciplines, or just to be alone with God.”
- Donald S. Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life

4. IN THE BUSYNESS AND CRAZINESS OF OUR LIVES, HOW CAN WE DISCONNECT AND UNPLUG TO PRACTICE SOLITUDE?

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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Have there been times when you thought you were engaging in solitude and you were actually isolating yourself?

2. Have there been specific times when engaging in solitude gave you the strength to deal with certain situations? Or, has God revealed to you areas in your life that need to be dealt with?

3. What are some strategies you can implement in your life to increase time in solitude?

https://www.springcreekchurch.org/
#realspringcreekchurch #strengthinsolitude #solitude #loneliness #lonely #God #connection #belonging #strength

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DEALING WITH RELATIONAL DRIFT
Marriage Rescue - Part 6
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
September 4, 2022

Modern aircraft have an autopilot. It’s an excellent feature that allows pilots to complete other tasks while flying. But autopilot was never intended to be used for the entire duration of the flight. Sometimes our marriage gets put on autopilot. Maybe it’s a busy season or you’re having your first baby or you’re tending to a health crisis with a family member. Whatever the reason, it’s good that our relationships can sometimes be placed on autopilot to allow us to focus on other things. But marriages can’t run on autopilot indefinitely - too long can cause partners to feel abandoned. Though it does not cause affairs, it creates environments in which affairs can and do happen. This final message will deal honestly with our vulnerability to infidelity.

SERIES: Marriage Rescue
In this series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to helping a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and stepping stones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1.) Have you ever put a relationship on autopilot in order to attend to more pressing matters? What was it that was needing your time, attention or energy? Was your mate understanding? How long did that season last? Did things just go back to normal after that demanding season of your life or were there things you did to intentionally reconnect?

2.) Pastor Keith talked about three things that make us more vulnerable to an affair;
Unfulfilled Expectations
Unexpressed Emotions
Unaccountable Relationships
Of the three factors, where do you feel strongest and where do you feel weakest? What can you/will you do to shore up areas of weakness? What can you share with others regarding what you’ve learned from your area of strength?

3.) The following two points fell closely together in Pastor Keith’s message;

Characteristics of a good confession;

• It names the wrong
• It acknowledges it was wrong
• It doesn’t try to explain unless asked.

Three levels of confession;

“I’m sorry, I was caught.”
“I’m sorry, I was wrong.”
“I’m sorry for what I caused.”

Talk about your experience with others around those defining characteristics of confession. Have the people you have known been good at making good and honest confessions? Why or why not? How about you? When you have to own up to a failure, would you say these are the things that characterize your confessions?

4.) Dr. Victor Pentz described our 9 to 5 life and our routines with the one we love as the straight life. There is a certain level of predictability and routine to our lives that sometimes creates a sense of boredom when we’re really craving excitement and romance. Dr. Pentz then described how often this becomes the catalyst for leaving our partner in search of what we lack in the straight life. But the reality is, all relationships eventually return to the straight life because there is a level of routine to everything we do. But, we don’t have to go off in search of adventure and romance in the embrace of another, we can have that with the one we are with right now. It takes time, intentionality, and a willingness to try new things that break up the routine or boredom. What are some things you would recommend to others that put the spark or life into your relationship?

5.) What was your biggest takeaway from this message? How did that affirm you? Correct you? Inform you? Guide you? Encourage you?

https://www.springcreekchurch.org/
#realspringcreekchurch #marriagerescue #relationaldrift #relationships #marriage #infidelity #affair #autopilot #vulnerable

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THE LONELY MARRIAGE
Marriage Rescue - Part 5
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
August 28, 2022

There is no worse feeling in the world than sleeping inches away from a person with whom you feel miles apart emotionally. According to a 2018 survey by the AARP, a third of all married people over the age of 45 reports feeling lonely. It’s a reminder that being alone is not what produces loneliness. A lack of intimacy – relational distance - is what produces loneliness. In this weekend’s message, we’re going to examine what things contribute most to our loneliness and what’s necessary to close the gap and revive the connections between us. You don’t want to miss God’s cure for loneliness.

SERIES: Marriage Rescue
It’s a hugely popular show on the Paramount Network and it’s called Bar Rescue. Jon Taffer, who has more than 40 years of experience in the business, offers his no-nonsense straight talk to struggling bar owners to help save their business and put them back on the road to success. What if there was such a person who could help us with our real life and relationships? What if a little no-nonsense straight talk about what it takes to build a healthy relationship could actually save our marriage and gets us back on the road to success? In this new series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to help a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and stepping stones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1.) Loneliness can have its origins in things other than being ignored or rejected. Pastor Keith talked about two of them. One reason many feel so lonely is that they are not self-disclosing, not being open or vulnerable. When we are not truly known, we never feel truly loved. Why do people withhold themselves in relationships? What does that do to both them and the relationship?

2.) Another reason that loneliness is so rampant today is the comparison trap many fall into by comparing their reality with what they see in their friends’ lives on social media. Why does comparison make us feel lonely? Have you ever done this yourself? Pastor Keith suggested limiting your exposure to social media simply because the more you engage in it, the more lonely you are likely to feel. Do you set limits for yourself or your kids when it comes to the amount of time you or they spend on social media? Why or why not?

3.) Robin Williams said, “I used to think being alone was the worst thing. It’s not, it’s being with people who make you feel alone.” Have you ever been in a relationship where you experienced this to one degree or another? What did the other person say or do that made you feel discounted, abandoned, or rejected?

4.) When it comes to healthy relationships, responding appropriately to “bids for connection” is key. Are there ways you have in prior or present relationships made frequent bids for connection? What were they and how did your partner respond to them?

5.) Pastor Keith mentioned and illustrated the three main types of responses to bids for connection: “turning away,” “turning against,” and “turning toward”. Turning away might better be described as an apathetic or disengaged response – give examples of this. Have you yourself ever given a “turn away” response to your mate?

6.) Turning against could also be described as antagonistic or even a way of completely shutting down any overture for connection. Give examples of this. Have you yourself ever given a “turn against” response to your mate?

7.) Turning toward is really just another way of saying “yes” to the bid for connection by engaging, listening, or interacting. Give examples of this. Have you yourself ever given a “turn toward” response to your mate?

8.) This topic in particular is a great one to take home with you and discuss more in private. Learn what your partner likes t

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THE ENEMIES OF INTIMACY
Marriage Rescue - Part 4
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
August 21, 2022

You were made to crave intimacy. We all have an insatiable desire to be known and loved at the deepest level. At the same time, our understanding of love has been distorted by our upbringing, our culture, and our experiences in relationships. In this weekend’s message, we’re going to discover what love is all about - the very love God designed for our hearts to crave. Do you have the kind of love that can go the distance? This message is all about how to keep your marriage healthy, happy, and strong.

SERIES: Marriage Rescue
It’s a hugely popular show on the Paramount Network and it’s called Bar Rescue. Jon Taffer, who has more than 40 years of experience in the business, offers his no-nonsense straight talk to struggling bar owners to help save their business and put them back on the road to success. What if there was such a person who could help us with our real life and relationships? What if a little no-nonsense straight talk about what it takes to build a healthy relationship could actually save our marriage and gets us back on the road to success? In this new series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to help a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and steppingstones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Most of this message was an amplification of the three love foundations of marriage, looking at it first from an Old Testament perspective, then a New Testament perspective, followed by Sternberg’s psychological findings that validate all three as essential qualities in healthy, happy relationships.

1.)  Take some time to discuss what you remember about each of the following qualities. What are their defining characteristics? Why are they so essential? What happens when they are absent? What area of loving needs more attention in your life, not just what you would like to experience more of but also where do you tend to be weaker in meeting that need in your mate?

PASSION – Eros (Greek) and Dod (Hebrew)
INTIMACY – Filia (Greek) and Raya (Hebrew)
COMMITMENT - Agape (Greek) and Ahava (Hebrew)

2.)  Sternberg’s research has found that when one aspect of love is neglected or absent, it leads to imbalanced, unfulfilling, and non-enduring loves. Discuss the following and if you have known examples of this.

High passion + high intimacy = Romantic love
High passion + high commitment = Foolish love
High intimacy + high commitment = Companionship love

3.)  God loves us in all three ways. In fact, it’s because of Him that we even have the capacity to love others in this way. What would you say to someone who says they struggle with really knowing, understanding, or experiencing the love of God? What practical ways would you suggest to them to have a greater experience of the love of God? How have you come to better know, understand and experience the love of God?

https://www.springcreekchurch.org/
#realspringcreekchurch #marriagerescue #relationalbaggage #relationships #anger #mad #intimacy #enemiesofintimacy 

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LEARNING TO BE GOOD AND MAD
Marriage Rescue - Part 3
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
August 14, 2022

Anger is a sign that there’s a problem that needs our attention. You should know, God intends for anger to be a visitor not a resident in your life. If we can learn how to make it a visitor that comes and goes, and not allow it to live in our hearts, we’ll create a climate in our relationships where we can deal in a positive way with things that go wrong.

SERIES: Marriage Rescue
It’s a hugely popular show on the Paramount Network and it’s called Bar Rescue. Jon Taffer, who has more than 40 years of experience in the business, offers his no-nonsense straight talk to struggling bar owners to help save their business and put them back on the road to success. What if there was such a person who could help us with our real life and relationships? What if a little no-nonsense straight talk about what it takes to build a healthy relationship could actually save our marriage and gets us back on the road to success? In this new series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to help a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and steppingstones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. In this message, Pastor Keith discussed a lot about anger, what was your biggest take-a-way? Where did you feel personally challenged? On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best), how well do you manage anger in your closest relationships? Is that the same score your spouse would give you?

2. When it comes to conflict, there are five default ways of dealing with conflict. Which way best describes you? Have you always been this way? If not, what changed?

• I’ll get them - MY WAY
• I’ll get out - NO WAY
• I’ll give in - YOUR WAY
• I’ll go halfway - HALF WAY
• I care and confront. - OUR WAY

3. People tend to be one of two things, exploders or imploders, what way did you observe most in your parents, family members, teachers, or people in authority in your life?

4. In the message, Pastor Keith shared the following quote from the highly respected Gottman Institute…

“If your marriage is going to succeed – you need a minimum of 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interaction.” – The Gottman Institute

Share your thoughts about this finding. Have you ever had a time in your marriage when that percentage wasn’t true in your relationship? What was the time like? Even when a marriage seems to be struggling or failing, beginning to express gratitude for your spouse will do wonders for your marriage. Right now, make a list of ten qualities or things your spouse does for which you are truly grateful. When you’re finished, share your list with your spouse, reading it out loud to them.

5. Lionel Whitston said, “’Broken marriages begin to mend and communication is reestablished when one of the partners is willing to make a breakthrough and say, ’Lord, begin with me. I am the one who needs to change, to love more deeply and more wisely.’” Take some time to pray for yourself and others in the group. If you feel safe in doing so, share with the group what one thing you’d like to most see change in your own life.

https://www.springcreekchurch.org/
#realspringcreekchurch #marriagerescue #relationalbaggage #relationships #anger #mad

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FACING YOUR RELATIONAL BAGGAGE
Marriage Rescue - Part 2
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
August 7, 2022

There are some topics churches never address or when they do, they do so poorly. Abuse, abandonment, boundary violations, rejection and hurt are a part of the life experience of so many. Those experiences load us up with baggage that we then carry into every subsequent relationship. This weekend, we’re talking honestly and candidly about these realities and how to deal with them. Pray that God will use our time together as a new beginning for those weighed down by life’s hurts.

SERIES: Marriage Rescue
It’s a hugely popular show on the Paramount Network and it’s called Bar Rescue. Jon Taffer, who has more than 40 years of experience in the business, offers his no-nonsense straight talk to struggling bar owners to help save their business and put them back on the road to success. What if a little no-nonsense straight talk about what it takes to build a healthy relationship could actually save our marriage and gets us back on the road to success? In this new series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to help a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and steppingstones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Having good boundaries is essential to happy and healthy relationships. Boundaries are all about limits – the ability to say “no” or “stop”. Were you allowed, as a child, to say “no” or “stop” when you weren’t comfortable, didn’t want to hug or kiss a family member or friend, or didn’t like how you were being treated? If you said “no”, did you feel like that no was respected and that it didn’t result in the withdrawal of love from your parents.
 
2. Why are boundaries so important in relationship? Have you ever been manipulated into saying yes to something you didn’t really want to do? How did that make you feel? 
 
3. Physical and emotional abuse is real and affects a lot of people in ways you might not ever know or expect. Here are examples of physical and emotional abuse.
 
4. Physical abuse is the intentional use of physical force that can result in physical injury. Examples include hitting, kicking, shaking, burning, or other shows of force.
 
5. Emotional abuse refers to behaviors that harm a child’s self-worth or emotional well-being. Examples include name-calling, shaming, rejecting, withholding love, and threatening.
 
6. Sexual abuse involves pressuring or forcing a child to engage in sexual acts. It includes behaviors such as fondling, penetration, and exposing a child to other sexual activities.
 
7. Had this ever happened to you or someone you know? What long-term effects happen as a result of this sort of treatment? If you became aware that this was happening to a child or a spouse, would you feel responsible to intervene? Report it to the police? Direct a spouse to a trusted professional or shelter for those fleeing domestic violence? What resources are you aware of that exist in the community to help those who’ve been abused?
 
8. So many have known a steady stream of rejection throughout their formative years. They were constantly made aware of their deficiencies and never felt like they mattered to those who mattered most to them. Needless to say, a lack of acceptance can be profoundly wounding. If we didn’t receive this from those who mattered most to us, the need for acceptance doesn’t go away, it just gets re-directed in other ways. What are some of the ways people try to find acceptance? Does that work for them? Why or why not?
 
https://www.springcreekchurch.org/
#realspringcreekchurch #marriagerescue #relationalbaggage #relationships

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TO HELL AND BACK
Marriage Rescue - Part 1
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
July 31, 2022

There are few areas of life where expectations ride higher than in marriage and there are few areas of life where expectations are more routinely dashed than in marriage. Let’s face it, no one is immune to problems in relationships. It happens even in the best of marriages. But we need to understand why we have relationship struggles and what to do about them. In this message, Pastor Keith will draw upon his own experience, Scripture, and years of therapy to inject hope into otherwise hopeless situations and give direction to those who truly desire healthy and mutually satisfying relationships.

SERIES: Marriage Rescue
It’s a popular show on the Paramount Network and it’s called Bar Rescue. Jon Taffer, who has more than 40 years of experience in the business, offers his no-nonsense straight talk to struggling bar owners to help save their business and put them back on the road to success. In this new series, Pastor Keith will share out of his 40-year relationship with Brenda the keys to help a couple move from status quo to spectacular – pointing out the stumbling blocks and steppingstones in achieving healthy, mutually-satisfying relationships.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. If you’re married or have been married or been in a dating relationship, share with the group how you met, what drew you to that person and what, if any, healthy or unhealthy issues you had that drew you to that person.

2. Talk about your family of origin. What did you learn about relationships, love, dealing with conflict, decision-making, from watching your parent’s relationship?

3. Pastor Keith talked about expectations and in particular, the expectation that our mate will match our effort in all things. Besides being unrealistic, it shifts our focus onto our mate and turns us into score-keepers. We no longer think about what we’re giving (or failing to give), our only focus is on what we’re not getting. Has this ever happened to you? What was expectation and how was it not being met? Were you ever able to find a solution to it?

4. Differences both draw us to others and repel us. We are fascinated by those who think differently, feel differently, act differently. There’s a definite attraction in it. But the flip side is, at some point in the relationship, those very same differences become an irritant. Has this ever happened to you? During the grand reversal, how did that play out? Did you ever come to a point of resolution or acceptance? If so, describe what that was like.

5. In the message today, Pastor Keith pointed out that there are two underlying problems that destroy relationships:
•  We are all wounded.
• We are all selfish.
How in touch are you with your wounding? If you feel safe in doing so, share some aspect of your wounding where you have received or are receiving healing?

6. In terms of selfishness, Pastor Keith mentioned, “The greatest obstacle in building truly great relationships is justified self-centeredness.” There are times when we justify and excuse our own behavior because our needs are not being met. Selfishness works against relationship more than practically any other thing. Where or how do you struggle with being selfish?

7. To seek help is a sign of maturity. None of us has everything we need in ourselves. This is why we were created for relationship. We really do need one another. Has there ever been an issue in your life where you felt compelled to reach out for help? What was that like? Did you get the help you needed? What did you learn?  What would you say to someone who is afraid to go see a therapist or talk to a pastor about a personal or relational issue?

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