I was just reading a statistic earlier this week suggesting that less than one in ten people are successful in keeping their New Year’s Resolutions and most people give up on their resolutions by the second Friday of January. Now, I’m not the superstitious type, but this year the second Friday of January is Friday the 13th. Personally, I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions because I know I won’t keep them. But, I will say and extra prayer for those of you who have made resolutions.
One thing I do find interesting is how people in different parts of the world are inclined to make different kinds of resolutions. In North America, the top resolution is to exercise more. In Poland, the top resolution is to save more money. In South Korea, it’s to get a better job. In India, it’s to waste less time. I couldn’t find any stat for any place in Africa.
Though the differing values of different cultures may shape the resolutions people make, I think this practice of making resolutions points out a deeper desire all people have. We make resolutions because we know our world could be better. We know our lives could be better. We know we could be better. But despite the best desires and best efforts, few have the strength needed to keep their resolutions.
I wonder if keeping resolutions is so difficult because we aim too high. We know big changes are needed in life and in the world and because we’re impatient we’re tempted to set goals that are just too big. If you’ve resolved to go to the gym for an hour each day, I wish you all the best; but the realist in me is very sceptical.
So, for those of us who struggle with resolutions, for those of us who fall among the great crowd who will probably abandon their efforts by Friday, I’d like to suggest: instead of making resolutions, what about making habits?
Habits are different than resolutions. Resolutions have conclusions. Once the goal is reached, once the weight is lost, the money saved or the new job realized, the resolution comes to an end and then we can feel happy and satisfied. But in the meantime, while striving for the goal, the pressure, anxiety and sacrifice is just draining and a loss of focus fueled by fatigue easily leads to failure.
Habits are different, however. Instead of being one-off goals, habits are ongoing; they’re about continual improvement. They’re much smaller in scope, but continuous, often even life-long. While resolutions only provide happiness when the goal is achieved, habits offer continual opportunity for success.
A habit is something we do regularly and automatically; we don’t even have to think about it. You get in the car and do up the seatbelt without having to think about it. There’s lots of morning habits. Some instinctively gravitate to the coffee maker after waking. Others automatically check their phone for new messages; some, still half asleep, have a habit of doing both.
I don’t know if any of the saints made New Year’s Resolutions, but I know they all had some great habits. So this year, I’d like to encourage you to form one positive habit, to form one small practice that will hopefully become a positive automatic pattern in your life.
To do that, it’s helpful to understand the cycle that makes up habits. First, there’s a cue, then a routine and then a reward affirming the routine. So, for example: you change your clothes; that’s the cue. Then you put the dirty clothes in the laundry basket; there’s the routine. Then, your spouse doesn’t nag you for leaving dirty clothes all over; there’s a reward affirming the routine. It’s a cycle that can be used to build new habits.
Many habits may seem like tiny daily routines, but they can have a huge impact. In the Gospel for today,