There is a difference in conflicts in a marriage. You have to learn to resolve. Remember that you can not change a person. you must have unconditional love. Every reaction will be either fight or flight:
Fight: Belittle/ Flight:Withdraw
Fight: Escalate/ Flight: Shut Down
Fight: Anger/ Flight: Isolate
Fight: Defensiveness/ Flight: Stuff Your Feelings
Fight: Fix it Mode/ Flight: Passive Aggressive
Fight: Criticize/ Flight: Negative Beliefs
Loving each other will result in less fighting!