The votes are in, they’ve all been counted, and the results are shocking. I was appalled, and, actually I suspect some voter fraud, because surely this can’t be right. But I read it on the websites of two reputable newspapers, so I guess I must accept it - the electorate has spoken, and their voice is clear. My vote went to a candidate that came in only 6th, so I’m upset, and I’m disgusted by the moral decay of our nation. The question was more straightforward than many on ballot papers around the country this month, it was simply this: “Who is your favorite Superhero?” And the winner was Batman. Give ignorant people the vote and this is what they do with it. I mean, he doesn’t even have any superpowers. He is just a creepy rich guy who had a bad experience in childhood. But he does have a cool car, and I can’t help thinking that impressed shallow voters. Now, my candidate, the superhero who to any balanced, reasonable voter, HAS to be the greatest, who demands the title of superest superhero is the original and the best – Superman. It must be. Who needs a cool car when you can fly faster than a speeding bullet? Who wants to be a billionaire, Bruce la-di-da Wayne, when your resume includes saving the world multiple times? And when it comes to overcoming your psychological demons, OK so young Master Bruce saw his parents being murdered, but Kal-el (for that is Clark Kent’s real name) experienced his entire planet exploding. Holy trauma, Batman.