If you haven’t noticed, we are all undergoing change. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what stage of life you’re in, or what you’ve already accomplished; growth is always happening. For me, I feel like I’ve stepped into what many call the second half of life. There’s something sacred about this stage. It’s not just a number. It’s not just age. It’s a deep, personal awareness that life is moving forward, and that the time I have left is more precious than ever. I’ve become a grandfather. That in itself has shifted my heart. I have a stronger sense of legacy, a deep drive to do something meaningful, not just for today but for the generations coming after me. There’s a passion in my soul to live on a mission, not out of pressure, but out of deep desire. It’s a fire that burns from knowing that my time here isn’t forever. And that awareness shapes how I lead, how I love, and how I mentor.

You see, everyone is at different stages of life. If we’re going to lead others well, if we’re going to walk with people toward healing and maturity, we have to understand the stage they’re in. We can’t treat a teenager like a father. We can’t talk to a sage like they’re still a cowboy. If we’re unaware of where someone is located on their journey, we’ll end up misleading them; not out of malice, but out of misunderstanding.

There are three basic stages that most people recognize in early development: dependence, independence, and interdependence. Let’s talk about each, and then we’ll go deeper with the archetypes that reveal the heart of this journey.

We all start in a place of dependence. This is childhood. This is when we need others for survival. Food, love, safety; all of it comes from someone else. We cry to get what we need. We cling. We reach. We do everything possible to stay connected to the people who care for us. And honestly, that’s okay. That’s how God made us at that stage. But what’s not okay is when someone grows physically but never moves emotionally out of this stage. Unresolved fear, insecurity, and emotional immaturity often trace back to someone stuck in dependence, still hoping someone else will meet all their needs, rescue them, or give them identity.

Eventually, if we’re growing, we move into independence. Think of the teenage years. This is the wild ride. It’s where we start separating from our parents and attaching to our peers. It’s emotional, passionate, intense, and often confusing. If you’ve raised teens, you know how real this is. They push boundaries. They explore identity. They try to figure out who they are apart from the family system they’ve known. This is not rebellion; it’s part of development. And yet, many people get stuck here too. They move into adulthood still clinging to the idea that being independent is the ultimate goal. “I can make my own money. I don’t need anyone. I’m good on my own.” But isolation is not maturity. It’s often a wall we build because we never learned how to trust in interdependence.

That’s the next and more mature stage: interdependence. This is where we realize that we are not whole on our own. We’re part of something bigger. We see that we’re not meant to live in competition or isolation, but in collaboration. Interdependence says, “I know who I am, and now I want to bring that identity into a relationship with others.” This is what makes marriage, family, and the body of Christ so powerful. When two people truly understand themselves and come together not to complete each other but to partner, that’s interdependence. When I stop needing to be the center, and I start embracing my part; whether I’m a hand, an eye, or a hidden, honorable part of the body; I can serve with humility and joy.