This week Christopher sits down with Wales vice-captain and Crystal Palace midfielder Hayley Ladd - 111 caps for her country, a freshly completed MBA, and newly married to her university sweetheart. They talk about the version of herself Hayley tried to force at university (pink cardigan and all), meeting her now-wife on the football pitch, and what representation looked like growing up in a town not far from London where she still couldn't see anyone like herself.

Follow Standing Out on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

• Crystal Palace Women — https://www.cpfc.co.uk/palace-women/
• Wales Women's national team (FAW) — https://faw.cymru/
• Loughborough University — https://www.lboro.ac.uk/
• Everton Women — https://www.evertonfc.com/women/
• Manchester United Women — https://www.manutd.com/en/manchester-united-women
• Arsenal Women — https://www.arsenal.com/women
• Women's Super League — https://www.wslfootball.com/
• Hayley Ladd on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/hayleyladd/

In Part Two of this two-part conversation, Eugene Lynch continues his story — what happened after his HIV diagnosis, how shame and addiction quietly took hold, and the winding road back to honesty, healing, and a full circle career at the charity that once saved him.

Follow Standing Out on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

- Terrence Higgins Trust — https://tht.org.uk/

- Terrence Higgins Trust on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/thtorguk/

- Donate to Terrence Higgins Trust — https://donate.tht.org.uk/

- Terrence Higgins Trust's Positive Voices speaker programme — https://tht.org.uk/about-us/community-projects/hiv-training-and-speakers

THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:

- HIV DIAGNOSIS

- DRUG AND ALCOHOL ADDICTION

- MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES, INCLUDING ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS

- SEXUAL ASSAULT (DISCLOSED IN DETAIL)

- REHAB AND ADDICTION TREATMENT

Listener discretion advised.

Chapters:

• 00:02:15 Telling Tim: the day of his HIV diagnosis
• 00:04:17 Guilt, shame, and hiding drug use from Tim
• 00:05:03 The medication side effect that went unnoticed for two years
• 00:07:48 The story Eugene told Tim about how he got HIV
• 00:09:12 Hitting rock bottom in 2018
• 00:11:33 Reaching out to Terrence Higgins Trust for support
• 00:15:21 A psychiatrist recommends rehab
• 00:16:21 Wrestling with the "addict" label as a gay man
• 00:19:16 Step One: writing down everything and reading it aloud
• 00:20:48 The full story he'd never told anyone, and a therapist's reframe
• 00:29:59 Telling Tim the truth years later, and a healing moment
• 00:34:20 Full circle: from service user to THT director, plus his advice and how to support the charity

This week Christopher sits down with Eugene (@eugenelynch83) - a Dublin-born corporate professional turned TikTok HIV-awareness advocate followed by thousands. In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Eugene traces the through-line from a two-bedroom house with no central heating in 1980s Dublin, through school years spent quietly hiding who he was, to meeting the love of his life at 4am in a Vauxhall nightclub - and the diagnosis that changed everything. This episode is only part 1, part 2 will follow next Wednesday.

Follow Christopher on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and follow Eugene on TikTok @eugenelynch83 and Instagram @eugenelynch.

Subscribe wherever you listen so you don't miss Part 2 - new episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

• Terrence Higgins Trust (HIV support and information) — https://tht.org.uk/
• NHS: Shingles, causes and who's at risk — https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/infections-and-poisoning/shingles
• Fire, Vauxhall (nightclub) — https://thatsup.co.uk/london/nightclub/fire-london/
• The Netherlands becomes the first country to legalise same-sex marriage, 2001 — https://spectrumlocalnews.com/ap-top-news/2021/04/01/the-dutch-went-first-in-2001-who-has-same-sex-marriage-now

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR THIS EPISODE:

• HIV DIAGNOSIS
• DRUG USE
• ALCOHOL USE
• MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES
• HOMOPHOBIA / BULLYING

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 Welcome & meeting Eugene
• 00:01:55 Born in Dublin, 1983: growing up working-class
• 00:04:00 A quiet inferiority complex, and feeling "other" at school
• 00:07:48 His aunt, and the wedding in Amsterdam she couldn't attend
• 00:11:06 Secondary school: freedom, friendship, and the class "moment of realisation"
• 00:16:46 University: becoming an atheist and deciding to "just be"
• 00:19:31 2007: meeting the love of his life at 4am in Fire, Vauxhall
• 00:20:12 A wild period, toxic relationships, and trying drugs for the first time
• 00:24:30 Why he talks about HIV on TikTok
• 00:26:04 Getting ill: shingles, diagnosis, and telling Tim

Jonathan Blake was one of the first people in the UK diagnosed with HIV, back in 1982 — and one of the real-life figures the film Pride is based on. In this episode, he joins Christopher to talk about coming out, surviving an HIV diagnosis he was never expected to outlive, decades of activism, and what it means to build an authentic life against the odds.

Follow along on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts — new episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

• Terrence Higgins Trust — https://tht.org.uk/
• Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) — https://lgsm.org/

• It's a Sin (Channel 4) — https://www.channel4.com/programmes/its-a-sin/

• The Fitzrovia Chapel — https://www.fitzroviachapel.org/

• AIDS Advert - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iroty5zwOVw

CONTENT WARNING — THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:

- SUICIDE ATTEMPT

- HIV/AIDS DIAGNOSIS AND TERMINAL PROGNOSIS

- DEATH AND GRIEF

- FAMILY REJECTION

- RECREATIONAL DRUG USE

Chapters:

- 00:01:38 Meet Jonathan Blake: Actor, Activist & Real-Life Pride Character

- 00:05:30 Young Jonathan: Growing Up Queer in 1950s Birmingham

- 00:08:18 Discovering Theatre & Deciding to Become an Actor

- 00:12:06 Coming Out to His Family at 21

- 00:16:29 Close Calls Before Coming Out

- 00:20:09 Choosing to Rejoin the World After an HIV Diagnosis

- 00:22:16 The Symptoms: "I Was Walking Like a Gorilla"

- 00:26:30 Getting Tested at the Clinic

- 00:27:06 The Diagnosis: "You Have Three to Six Months to Live"

- 00:29:25 Terrence Higgins & the Roots of the Terrence Higgins Trust

- 00:33:02 Thatcher's Government, Norman Fowler & the Fight for HIV Funding

- 00:35:08 How HIV Changed Nursing Care Forever

- 00:36:24 "We Are Still Here," It's a Sin & the HIV/COVID Parallel

- 00:40:11 A Suicide Attempt & the Turning Point

- 00:41:17 Finding CND & the Ad in Capital Gay

- 00:42:47 Meeting Nigel at the Demonstration

- 00:43:46 The Greenham Common Human Chain

- 00:45:13 Moving Into a Brixton Squat With Nigel

- 00:47:15 "Displacement Activity" & Living With a Terminal Diagnosis

- 00:48:14 Princess Diana, the Middlesex Hospital & the Fitzrovia Chapel

- 00:49:55 "How Did You Survive It?"

- 00:51:28 Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners: The Real Story Behind Pride

- 00:54:41 39 Years With Nigel: Love, Friendship & Being "Good Mates"

- 00:55:21 What Does Authentic Queer Life Look Like at 76?

- 00:56:05 Growing Older as a Queer Person & the Need for Safe Spaces

- 00:58:15 Jonathan's Advice to Queer People in Their 20s and 30s

- 00:59:16 Closing Thoughts

Welcome to the very first episode of Standing Out. Before diving into guest conversations, host Christopher takes a moment to explain the theory and personal story behind the show — why it exists, why "queer" is the word he's chosen to reclaim, and the psychology that's shaped his own experience of otherness.

Drawing on minority stress theory (developed by psychologist Ilan Meyer) and a concept Christopher calls "queer silo safety," this episode unpacks why queer people are statistically more likely to feel lonely, where that loneliness actually comes from, and what it took to move from feeling broken to building something for the community instead.

Christopher also shares the story of meeting Richard and Graham — an older gay couple whose relationship reshaped how he thinks about queer visibility across generations — and lays out the four questions that will guide every future guest conversation on this show.

Follow along on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts — it's free, and it genuinely helps this reach more people who need it.

Chapters:
00:00 Welcome to Standing Out
01:47 Who This Podcast Is For
02:42 My Favourite Podcasts & Reclaiming the Word "Queer"
03:55 Where the Idea for Standing Out Came From
07:52 The Loneliness Statistics: Why Queer People Struggle More
09:10 Meeting Richard & Graham: Queer Elders
11:39 Queer Silo Safety, Explained
13:00 Minority Stress, Explained (Ilan Meyer)
14:04 How Standing Out Was Born
14:40 What I Ask Every Guest (4 Questions)
15:24 Meet Your Host & First Guest: Jonathan Blake