Stark Conversations

Hello Friends,

Today I am re-releasing three conversations that I had two years ago with my daughter, Izzy. We recorded these conversations as a mini-podcast and released them on the Instagram account for my business Grace & Grit. However, I thought they were timely for this podcast.

While attempting to raise a strong, confident daughter, I wanted to know three things from Z:

I think these conversations are important as we raise the next generation of feminists. When we can cross generational lines we become stronger advocates for one another. These talks keep us wise and grounded as we further the reach of feminism.

Parents of littles, there will come a time when you look at your kids and think, who is this inspiring adult? How did I get so lucky? This convo is an example of how Z impresses me. I love the way she calls me to the carpet. These are important moments in the relationships of parent and child.

As you listen, these conversations were released individually, please keep in mind these separate convos have been edited together for Stark Conversations.

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Hello friends and welcome back to another Stark Conversation. Today I am learning about a nonprofit in Morocco called Project Soar. It was founded by Maryam Montague. Maryam, a fierce feminist, shares with me how and why she started Project Soar. In doing so, she dives into the ways feminism has helped the girls in her community and highlights some of the issues they face. Specifically, Maryam speaks about: How loopholes in Moroccan law still allow for child marriage- an issue that is still relevant in the United States. How vital period care is for the girls in her community. How the girls in Project Soar are learning to advocate for themselves. The impact feminism is making on mothers and daughters in her area. Although Project Soar started in Morocco, its impact has been so powerful that it now serves girls in Uganda and Syria. This conversation is the perfect illustration of how feminism is a path of empowerment for girls and women all over the world!

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Hello Friends,

 Welcome back! This episode is Part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Martha Rampton. Today we are talking about waves 3 and 4 of Feminism. In particular, we discuss how the 3rd wave deconstructed the words slut and whore while reclaiming feminine sexuality and beauty which significantly contrasts with the 2nd wave. 

We ponder the beginning of the 4th wave. Did it start because of politics, or was it already brewing and the political heat of 2016 galvanized the movement? We also discuss how 4th wave feminists have a "come as you are" and "you do you" mindset.

Dr. Rampton turns the tables on me. She asks about my involvement with feminism. We discuss how I found it and where I land in the movement. We even dive into my struggles with beauty culture. YIKES!

Stay tuned, friends. This episode is a historical and philosophical conversation all rolled into one!

If you are a history buff, then the next two episodes of Stark Conversations are for you. We are getting a lesson about the 4 waves of feminism with Dr. Martha Rampton!

This episode is a two-parter because you simply can’t fit the history of feminism into an hour. In fact, we could barely fit it into two hours. So I am sitting down with Dr. Martha Rampton from Pacific University, who wrote a fabulous article on the waves of feminism in the U.S. Dr. Rampton clearly explains the history of feminism in the U.S., highlighting the critical events, the friction between the women, and the outcomes.

 In part one, we talk about the Cult of Domesticity, suffrage, what happened to the women after the 19th amendment passed, and where did they go? Then we move into the second wave. We discuss the circumstances that started it. Who were the woman that made up the backbone of the movement, the rebellion of beauty culture, the shortcomings of the middle-class white women in the second wave, and the splintered but effective progress made by the second wave. Stick with me; this is a weighty discussion because, friends, history repeats itself, so we better pay attention to this Stark Conversation.

Oh Friends,

 This episode is a good one. It conjures up women dancing around bonfires, chanting, mixing positions, invoking curses and being gagged, bound, and hung. 

The Salem Witch Trials.

 I wanted to include this topic on Stark Conversations because this is the apex of women being accused of nothing more than being women. 

Because there was no chanting, no curses cast, no brooms ridden. Instead, what we find are just people. Every day community members using their voices when wronged, dressing for themselves instead of society, breaking stereotypes, and challenging religious oppression. All topics that feminism embodies. All topics women are judged for in 2023.

The lessons we glean from the trials still resonate today. What are we actually doing when we judge others? Deem them as “weak souls,” decide they need Christianity and force testimony and religious doctrine on them? What damage are we inflicting when we make graceless assumptions instead of loving inquiries?

Although the Salem Witch Trials happened over 400 years ago, it feels as though humanity has only taken 10 steps forward. We are still judging women, dictating what they should and should not wear, demanding they yield to their husbands, telling them they are the “lesser” and “weaker” partner, and still telling them they are too much, too loud, and overreacting. 

Listen to my conversation with the energetic Dr. Wendy Lucas, Salem Witch Trial Extraordinaire, as she talks with me about this time in history. She answers all my questions and then some. We laugh in utter disbelief and empathize with those who were gaslit into believing they could be the devilish witch their neighbors accuse them of being. But most of all, we discuss the wisdom we can take from this confusing and painful time and use it to give humanity advocacy, equity, and healing.

Specifically, Dr. Lucas explains:

 What circumstances led to accusations of witchcraft. 

Why women were viewed as a necessary evil.

If the afflicted girls were really having convulsions.

The reasons why people, specifically women, were accused of witchcraft.

Why gender roles and societal expectations are so crucial to Puritans.

Moral Stewardship and how quickly it can get out of hand.

The idea of a feminine soul

How the trials ended.

What amends were made to the accused?

What lessons can we learn from this time in history?

Friends, I promise this is a good one. As always, if you enjoy it, please leave a review! 

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Friends,

 This episode is one where we get to be students of Dr. AnaLouise Keating as she helps us understand the kaleidoscope of views that make up Feminist Theory. Dr. AnaLouise Keating is a wealth of intellect. She is one of those and/both spirits. She lives in the in-between, the gray spaces of life. Her work is proof of this. 

I was drawn to her because of how she approaches feminism and its multiple layers. She observes how the paradoxes of feminism work or don't work together. Still, she is more interested in finding where they connect. Where the "like" experience is. She explains feminism and womanism and gives insight into the Intersectionality of Feminism with women of color and Queer Theory. She describes how we experience the world both from where we live and from inside our bodies. She beckons the communion and the divine of feminism while respecting the many viewpoints of it. Dr. Keating helps us understand how very layered true equality actually is. 

She emphasizes to understand another's spirit, we must understand their lived experiences. This is a keystone value in the feminist way of life. Her ability to hold the paradoxes of humanity makes her a keystone feminist. 

Here are some timecodes to tune into:

4:49: Dr. Keating reminds us how feminism has many definitions.

6:06: We learn how feminism helps us look at the injustice in the world.

11:00: She helps us understand the differences and similarities between Womanist and/or Feminist.

14:12: She teaches us how to enter humanity's uncomfortable "border" spaces.

16:08: Dr. Keating explains Queer Theory and feminism.

18:18: We learn the advantage of living in the "In-between" or and/both areas of life.

20:36: We discuss how to resolve conflict from an and/both way of thinking as well as the pitfalls of defining ourselves by an "anti" or "not that" mentality.

24:43: Women are spiritual beings. YES, PLEASE!

31:37: We learn about Theory in the Flesh

33:15: Intersectionality of Feminism and why it needs understanding.

38:55 Dr. Keating tells us about her research on Indigenous People and feminism. She also discusses how Indigenous people living near Seneca Falls, NY, may have influenced our feminist foremothers during the suffrage movement. 

This is an incredible conversation. Please pull up a chair and join us.

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You know the moment when the vulnerability pays off? When you get the ask, and relief floods your system? That was the gift that Jodi Bondi Norgaard gave me. I have followed this feminist for years, quietly liking her posts, pursuing her website and admiring her work. Jodi says the things I am thinking. She speaks them with matter-of-fact wisdom that only comes from thorough research. When I asked her to help kick-start this podcast by being my first guest, she didn't hesitate. I got an answer that very day. She was the woman I knew would give me straight-up hard facts about feminism that would set the tone and feel for this podcast. She came correct. She is a fierce ally of women. I wanted the first episode of Stark Conversations to lay the groundwork for feminism, to give a bird's-eye view of what feminism is and isn't. I wanted to present facts and examples, share knowledge and provide resources for those who want more information. This is what Jodi came correct again and again and again. For an hour, she delivered the goods I was seeking. Here are some time stamps to tune into: Jodi gives the perfect definition of feminism at 5:52. Want to know what books to read on Feminism? Take a listen- she lists them at 11:04. Do you want to give the men in your life ideas on how to best support women? Check out the podcast Jody recommends at 43:28. Want to know how to best support women- Amplify their voices and good ideas? Jodi shares how at 44:35. What's the issue we both feel is preventing women from global equality? Find out at 46:42. Curious about the Equal Rights Amendment Act, and what is the only constitutional right protecting women right now? Pay close attention at 49:25. Friends, this podcast comes complete. Stark Conversations with Jodi Bondi Norgaard- Feminism 101. It's a thorough listen. You can find Jodi at Website – www.jodibondinorgaard.com Social Media https://twitter.com/jodinorgaard https://www.facebook.com/jodinorgaard/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodinorgaard/ https://www.instagram.com/jodibondinorgaard/

Hello Friends! We are changing things up here and going in a different direction. We are still amplifying women's voices but taking things a little deeper by exploring the very movement that has given women back their power so that they can tell their stories and raise their voices, Feminism. Join Heather as she explores feminism from its roots to its present-day perceptions in all facets of life. Her goal is to create a community of feminists that are redefining beauty culture, learning to use their voices, loving themselves and striving to empower the next generation of women.

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This is our last Beauty Conversations and, of course, we saved the best for last. In this episode, we discuss fashion, clothing sizes, and our bodies. Then at the end, I interview my sweet niece Maggie, who, although eight years old, maybe the wisest of us all! There is a trigger warning. This may not be the episode for you if you have body concerns or issues. Here are some time codes for you to tune into:

16:48: Bops and I get very real about the negative thoughts that circle our brains when we shop.

20:32: We talk about how women's bodies became fashion statements and whether this is good or bad, or perhaps it's both.

28:41: We discuss the faulty thinking that losing weight means we can finally love and accept our bodies.

38:40: We discuss the hurt caused when grown women take to social media to judge a 17-year-old's homecoming dress. These types of posts happen in almost every community and need to stop.

43:38: Please listen to Bops and my reaction when Z says she loves her body by giving it rest. You would have thought we had never heard that idea before!

52:18: Words from the wisest child I know.

59:18: Loving advice from my sister to her daughter.

Thanks for listening!

We are continuing our talk about beauty culture and my new book, Her Story: A Heartfelt and Hilarious Conversation About Why Beauty Milestones Should Be Options and Not Expectations. 

Today we are talking about hair. Why we choose the styles we do, how hair helps us express who we are and what we are living through, and how hair can help us cope.