Startup Parent

#090 — Rainbow Babies

When we invite life into our lives, we also invite death.

Though stillbirth is fairly common (impacting about 1 in 100 pregnancies in the US) it is a painful topic of conversation. But Christine McAlister likes talking about Maeve, the daughter she lost, to keep her memory alive. In fact, Maeve inspired Christine’s business, Life with Passion.

So, how did Christine move forward after a pregnancy loss? How did she make the decision to try again? And how did she birth a thriving business in the midst of it all?

Today, Christine joins me to share her initial struggle with the decision to become a parent and the utter shock of experiencing a full-term stillbirth. I ask her about making the choice to try again, and she explains why she hid out for nine months while carrying her rainbow baby. Listen in as Christine explains how her pregnancy loss inspired the creation of her business—and learn her 7-step income replacement formula for aspiring entrepreneurs!

FULL SHOW NOTES

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/090.

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER

Community makes all the difference. So, at Startup Pregnant, we have launched a mastermind program for women who are interested in going deeper around questions about parenting, motherhood, and business. To apply for the Spring 2019 session and receive my free email series, go to https://startuppregnant.com/mastermind.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors.

LEARN MORE ABOUT CHRISTINE MCALISTER

Christine McAlister is an entrepreneur, business coach, and best-selling author of The Income Replacement Formula: 7 Steps for Doing What You Love & Making 6 Figures from Anywhere. She is also the founder of Life with Passion where she serves as a high-level mentor for aspiring entrepreneurs, helping clients replace their income, quit their nine-to-fives, and build freedom-based businesses they love. 

• Life with Passion
• Life with Passion on Instagram
• Life with Passion on Facebook

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• The Income Replacement Formula: 7 Steps for Doing What You Love & Making 6 Figures from Anywhere by Christine McAlister
• Natalie Lucier

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST

• Startup Pregnant
• Startup Pregnant Newsletter
• Email [email protected]

#089 — Mom Life, With Cancer: You’re Not Dead!

There are two contrasting narratives around cancer: We hear stories of survivors who beat the disease. And then we hear stories of people who are on their deathbeds. In reality, there is a much greater spectrum of experience.

Emily Garnett is 32 years old. She recently celebrated her fifth wedding anniversary and her son’s second birthday.

She was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer that same week.

But Emily’s life didn’t stop. She is still here. She is still making dinner and taking care of her son and going to the grocery store. And she wants the world to know what it looks like to live life with cancer.

Today, Emily shares her career evolution, explaining how she became an elder care lawyer and her decision to step away when her son was born. She shares the devastating experience of being diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer as a young mom and her extremely limited options for having more children. I ask Emily how she navigates the fear and the unfairness of it all, and she describes how she talks to her son about her cancer diagnosis. Listen in for insight around the opportunity Emily has found in her illness and learn more about her advocacy organization, Beyond the Pink Ribbon.

FULL SHOW NOTES 

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/089.

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER

This podcast is made possible by Alavita Nutrition, a tremendous resource when it comes to food, health, and wellness. The Alavita team is on a mission to make eating good food and understanding nutrition easier for busy moms. Head to https://www.alavitanutrition.com/ and use the code ‘startup pregnant’ for 20% off their self-paced programs or a nutrition consultation.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors.

LEARN MORE ABOUT EMILY GARNETT 

Emily Garnett is a former elder law and special needs attorney whose practice focused on adult guardianships, capacity issues, care management and public benefits. Today, she is the face of Beyond the Pink Ribbon, an advocacy and awareness platform where she documents her experience living with metastatic breast cancer. Emily also serves as the host of The Intersection of Cancer & Life podcast.

• Beyond the Pink Ribbon
• The Intersection of Cancer & Life Podcast

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST

• Startup Pregnant
• Startup Pregnant Newsletter
• Email [email protected]

#088 — Building An Online Community That Works 

“At its bare minimum, what Chairman Mom is combating is loneliness and isolation. We all know that is the biggest problem in our country right now and the biggest casualty of the trillion-dollar social media industry.” 

Sarah Lacy is building an online platform where women can discuss the most important issues they face in their personal and professional lives, without fear of judgement or abuse. So, how did she create a supportive online space for women to connect with each other? A safe place where community comes first? 

Today, Sarah joins me to discuss the Chairman Mom community, explaining what inspired her to create the platform and how it works. She offers insight around the toxicity of ad-based social networks and describes what makes Chairman Mom different. I ask Sarah about the success of her Mama Bear newsletter, and we talk about how it helped build an audience for Chairman Mom prior to the site’s launch. Listen in to understand how and why anonymity works on the platform, facilitating conversations that may not happen anywhere else. 

FULL SHOW NOTES

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/088. 

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER 

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Aeroflow Breastpumps. They are dedicated to making the hassle of getting your breast pump a little bit easier—actually, a lot easier! Head to www.aeroflowbreastpumps.com/startup to have them help you qualify for a free breast pump through insurance.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors.

LEARN MORE ABOUT SARAH LACY

Sarah Lacy is the Founder and CEO of Chairman Mom, an online community for professional women. A journalist for nearly 20 years, Sarah is known for her fearless, outspoken reporting. She is a sought-after speaker, frequent guest on national television, and the author of several books. Her most recent release, A Uterus is a Feature, Not a Bug, was published in November 2017. Sarah describes herself as ‘an unapologetic feminist, mother, and supporter of women.’ 

• Chairman Mom
• The Mama Bear
• Chairman Mom on Twitter
• Chairman Mom on Facebook
• The Chairman Mom Flee

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Sarah Lacy on Startup Pregnant EP023
• A Uterus is a Feature, Not a Bug: The Working Woman’s Guide to Overthrowing the Patriarchy by Sarah Lacy
• The Wing
• Nasty Gal
• TechCrunch
• Pando
• Bill Gross TED Talk
• SutherlandGold

#087 — Birth as a Portal: An Invitation  

We know that pregnancy and childbirth is a time of profound transformation for women. Beyond the physical changes we experience, giving birth affords the opportunity to let go of our past selves and emerge as something new.

But could birth be just as powerful for fathers and co-parents? How about our communities at large? What if everyone could tap into the wisdom and energy of new life, using it as a source of power to let go of what no longer serves us and rise up as a new iteration of our creative selves?

Today, I’m taking a deep dive into the idea of birth as a portal. I describe the new research by Ruth Feldman on the neuroscience of parenthood as well as Amy Henderson’s thought leadership around the transformative power of being a present and active caregiver. Listen in for my invitation to let go of old identity markers and embrace a new way of being, drawing on the power of birth to level up and welcome a new way to show up in the world.

FULL SHOW NOTES

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/087.

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER

Community makes all the difference. So, at Startup Pregnant, we have launched a mastermind program for women who are interested in going deeper around questions about parenting, motherhood, and business. To apply for the Spring 2019 session and receive my free email series, go to https://startuppregnant.com/mastermind.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality by Kimberly Ann Johnson
• Amy Henderson’s Tendlab
• Center for Developmental Social Neuroscience
• ‘Neural Plasticity in Fathers of Human Infants’ in Social Neuroscience

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST

• Startup Pregnant
• Startup Pregnant Newsletter
• Email [email protected]

#086— Prepping for Maternity Leave

We live in a society that pressures us to do more, a cult of busyness if you will. In our holiday letters, we brag about how hectic our lives are, and as women, we have a much harder time experiencing leisure and play than we do work. So, what happens when you need to slow down and take leave from work to have a baby? 

In the US, pregnant women are typically expected to work straight through to delivery—and be back after just a few short weeks. Maternity leave is even more challenging for female business owners and entrepreneurs who lack social protections, who are not covered by any kind of infrastructure that provides the space and time to step away.

On this edition of The Friendship Series, Cary Fortin and I unpack parental leave, discussing our frustration with the culture’s response to taking time off and the bizarre series of myths we hold about motherhood. I share the details of my first 12-week maternity leave working for a startup, explaining how the policy took shape as I lived it and why I negotiated the option to work at 50% for an additional three months before getting back up to full speed.

Cary describes what her maternity leave looked like as an entrepreneur and freelancer and how she would afford herself more time off, given the opportunity. Listen in for insight on how I designed maternity leave this time around, batching content and enlisting the help of a team to give myself the freedom to focus on my family and my writing for several months—while my business continues to grow!

FULL SHOW NOTES

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/086.

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Aeroflow Breastpumps. They are dedicated to making the hassle of getting your breast pump a little bit easier—actually, a lot easier! Head to www.aeroflowbreastpumps.com/startup to have them help you qualify for a free breast pump through insurance.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors.

LEARN MORE ABOUT CARY FORTIN

Cary Fortin is the co-founder of New Minimalism, a simple living website and provider of declutter + design services. New Minimalism brings together the fields of psychology and sustainable design to create holistic, long-term solutions for clients looking to simplify and renew their homes and workspaces. Cary’s work has been featured in Mindbodygreen, Apartment Therapy, and Yoga Journal, among many other publications, and she is the co-author of New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living.

• New Minimalism
• New Minimalism on Facebook
• New Minimalism on Instagram
• Cary’s Website
• Cary on LinkedIn
• Cary on Instagram

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• One Month
• Pumpspotting
• Arianna Taboa

#085 — The Fatigue is REAL

At 33 weeks, I am dealing with a serious case of pregnancy insomnia. My Fitbit reports that I slept for 2:45 last night, and I was restless for 4:20. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.

Pregnant women and new moms deal with fatigue on a grand scale. Our bodies are doing a lot of work, and we are sleep deprived like never before. So, how do you function? Is there anything you can do to manage the exhaustion?

Today, Cary Fortin returns for an honest discussion about energy—and the lack thereof. We address how taxing pregnancy is on the body and the urge to apologize for not being able to do as much. I vent my frustration with a society that preaches the importance of family yet has little reverence for pregnant women, and Cary and I cover the myths around the dismissive term ‘Mommy brain,’ the loss of brain function associated with sleep deprivation, and the discovery that parenthood provides an opportunity to rewire your brain. Listen in to understand the significance of rest and short naps and learn how to approach periods of fatigue with a focus on self-compassion.

FULL SHOW NOTES

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/085.

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER

One of the biggest challenges we face in business is developing focus, figuring out how to do less and gaining clarity around what’s really important. I have developed a three-step process that helps me simplify and make decisions about when to say no. Get the free guide at https://startuppregnant.com/stop. 

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors.

LEARN MORE ABOUT CARY FORTIN

Cary Fortin is the co-founder of New Minimalism, a declutter + design service and online platform for people looking to simplify and renew their homes and workspaces, and the co-author of New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living. An expert in the field of simple living and the psychology of letting go, Cary is also a writer and lifestyle expert whose work has been featured in Mindbodygreen, Yoga Journal and Sunset Magazine, among other publications.

• New Minimalism
• New Minimalism on Facebook
• New Minimalism on Instagram
• Cary’s Website
• Cary on LinkedIn
• Cary on Instagram

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Kate Northrup on Startup Pregnant EP008

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST

• Startup Pregnant
• Startup Pregnant Newsletter
• Email [email protected]

#084 — Making Friends: A Few Helpful Strategies

Sure, you know a LOT of people. But how many of those people do you consider true friends? Who would you really feel comfortable calling on in a crisis?

Maintaining meaningful friendships as adults can be a challenge, especially if you move to a new city or change jobs, but you can take a proactive approach, seeking out new people you connect with on a personal level. Yes, it takes work and commitment, but the benefits far outweigh the initial discomfort of putting yourself out there.

Today, I’m sharing a few helpful strategies around making friends as an adult. I offer advice on setting an intention and going to the places where likeminded people hang out. I also discuss the value in showing up by yourself, casting a wide net, and taking a chance on a new friend. Listen in for insight on starting your own groups and learn why I say YES when people offer to help!

FULL SHOW NOTES

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/084.

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER

This podcast is made possible by Alavita Nutrition, a tremendous resource when it comes to food, health, and wellness. The Alavita team is on a mission to make eating good food and understanding nutrition easier for busy moms. Head to https://www.alavitanutrition.com/ and use the code ‘startup pregnant’ for 20% off their self-paced programs or a nutrition consultation.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors. 

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• ‘Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?’ in The New York Times
• World Domination Summit
• Vanessa Van Edwards on YouTube
• Science of People

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST

• Startup Pregnant
• Startup Pregnant Newsletter
• Email [email protected]

#083 — Cultivating Adult Female Friendships

If you are working parent, chances are that career and family dominate your time and attention. Yet we all know the immense value of cultivating friendships with other women who share similar circumstances, interests, or values.

So, how do you carve out the time to nurture established friendships? Even more challenging, how do you build new female friendships? And how do you handle it when a friendship ends?

Today, Cary Fortin is back to help me explore the issue of making new friends as an adult. We discuss the process of putting yourself out there and identifying a good friendship match as well as the logistical challenge of staying in touch with long-distance friends. I explain what it means to ‘aggressively make friends,’ and Cary addresses the value in owning who you are and leading with your values. Listen in for insight on letting people know you’re thinking about them (without an agenda) and learn how Cary and I navigate the emotional landscape when a friendship ends.

FULL SHOW NOTES 

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/083.

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER 

Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Aeroflow Breastpumps. They are dedicated to making the hassle of getting your breast pump a little bit easier—actually, a lot easier! Head to www.aeroflowbreastpumps.com/startup to have them help you qualify for a free breast pump through insurance.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors.

LEARN MORE ABOUT CARY FORTIN

Cary Fortin is an expert in the realm of simple living and the psychology of letting go. She is the co-founder of New Minimalism, declutter + design service and online resource for people looking to simplify and renew their homes and workspaces, and the co-author of New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living. Cary is also a writer and lifestyle expert whose work has been featured in Mindbodygreen, Fayr and Sunset Magazine, among other publications.

• New Minimalism
• New Minimalism on Facebook
• New Minimalism on Instagram
• Cary’s Website
• Cary on LinkedIn
• Cary on Instagram

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Morra Aarons-Mele on Startup Pregnant EP005
• LÄRABAR
• Asha Dornfest on Startup Pregnant EP076
• Lauren Smith Brody on Startup Pregnant EP004
• The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby by Lauren Smith Brody

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST

#082 — The Friendship Series: Doing Less in Business

If your business could only do one thing, what would it be?

In planning for my second pregnancy, I thought about how to design a business in Startup Pregnant that would serve my life as an expectant mother. Given the constraints on my time and energy, what was mission critical and what could be eliminated from my to-do list?

I got strategic about doing less. 

Today on the podcast, Cary Fortin and I continue the Friendship Series, discussing the three-step process I leveraged to design a resilient business that could weather my pregnancy and subsequent maternity leave. We explain how to reframe parental leave as an opportunity to systematize and document a business’ processes and the specific challenges faced by solopreneurs taking a leave of absence. Listen in for insight around getting honest about the number of hours you can REALLY devote to work and making decisions on which projects are integral to your business—and which can be relegated to the Don’t Do list.

FULL SHOW NOTES

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/082.

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER

One of the biggest challenges we face in business is developing focus, figuring out how to do less and gaining clarity around what’s really important. I have developed a three-step process that helps me simplify and make decisions about when to say no. Get the free guide at https://startuppregnant.com/stop.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors.

LEARN MORE ABOUT CARY FORTIN

Cary Fortin is a writer, editor and web designer based in Boise, Idaho. She is also the co-founder of New Minimalism, a simple living platform and declutter + design service, and the co-author of New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living. New Minimalism brings together the fields of psychology and sustainable design to create holistic, long-term solutions for clients looking to simplify and renew their homes and workspaces. The firm’s work has been featured in Design Sponge, Apartment Therapy, and Yoga Journal, among many other publications.

• New Minimalism
• New Minimalism on Facebook
• New Minimalism on Instagram
• Cary’s Website
• Cary on LinkedIn
• Cary on Instagram

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE 

• ‘Stop Doing it All’ Blog Post
• Sarah Lacy on Startup Pregnant EP023
• A Uterus is a Feature, Not a Bug: The Working Woman’s Guide to Overthrowing the Patriarchy by Sarah Lacy
• Annie Dean on Startup Pregnant EP002
• Werk

THE STARTU

#081 — Honest Conversations About the Hard Things With Co-Host Cary Fortin

Deep female friendships are one of the greatest blessings of my life. But I didn’t really have meaningful friendships with other women until my late 20’s.

Then I discovered what a gift it is to have judgement-free, deeply thoughtful conversation partners who engage in honest conversation about the hard things—sex, the patriarchy, aspirations, feminism…

And for the next few weeks, I am sharing some of those conversations with one of my best friends, Cary Fortin.

Today, Cary describes the genesis of her business, New Minimalism, explaining the psychology behind letting go of ‘stuff’ and the ins and outs of a service-based business. She shares her incredibly difficult parenting journey, discussing how dealing with the loss of two pregnancies shaped the person she is today and taught her how to have honest conversations about complex issues. Listen in for the story of our friendship and understand the value of being open with close female friends!

FULL SHOW NOTES

Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at http://www.startuppregnant.com/081.

EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER

Community makes all the difference. So, at Startup Pregnant, we have launched a mastermind program for women who are interested in going deeper around questions about parenting, motherhood, and business. To apply for the Spring 2019 session and receive my free email series, go to https://startuppregnant.com/mastermind.

All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors.

LEARN MORE ABOUT CARY FORTIN

Cary Fortin is the co-founder of New Minimalism, a simple living website and provider of declutter + design services. New Minimalism brings together the fields of psychology and sustainable design to create holistic, long-term solutions for clients looking to simplify and renew their homes and workspaces. The firm’s work has been featured in Design Sponge, Apartment Therapy, and Yoga Journal, among many other publications. Cary is also a writer, editor, and lifestyle expert, and she is the co-author of New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living.

• New Minimalism
• New Minimalism on Facebook
• New Minimalism on Instagram
• Cary’s Website
• Cary on LinkedIn
• Cary on Instagram

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living by Cary Telander Fortin and Kyle Louise Quilici
• Replens

THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST

• Startup Pregnant
• Startup Pregnant Newsletter
• Email [email protected]