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Stay-at-Home Widow
Stay-at-Home Widow episodes
- The Love Is Still Here, Even When the Grief ChangesWidowhood, grief after partner loss, death of a spouse, and life after loss can change over time.
But does feeling less pain mean you’re letting go of the person you love?
In Episode 3 of Stay-at-Home Widow, Sharmane Fury and LaVonna talk honestly about how grief changes, loneliness, death anniversaries, identity after losing a spouse, and learning to experience joy without feeling like you are leaving your person behind.
EPISODE 3: THE LOVE IS STILL HERE, EVEN WHEN THE GRIEF CHANGES
Does feeling less pain mean you are losing your person?
This month, our conversation was inspired by a listener question:“Do you worry that letting go of the pain, or when you feel yourself moving through certain steps of grief, means letting go of the person? And could you put into words how your relationship with grief has changed over time?”
As LaVonna approaches the second anniversary of Bret's death and Sharmane approaches the third anniversary of Tristan's, we're discovering that the grief we carry now isn't the same grief we carried in the beginning.
We talk about becoming people our husbands never knew.
We're pursuing creative work, traveling, building businesses, changing direction, and discovering new parts of ourselves they will never get to see.
There is joy in that growth. There is also grief in it.
Moving forward is not the same as moving on.
Sadness can live alongside joy.
Loving the life you are building doesn't mean you love your person any less.
And that love doesn't suddenly become past tense because the person died.
We also talk about changing coping mechanisms, loneliness, widow community, setting boundaries, trauma triggers, death anniversaries, and giving ourselves permission to experience grief differently than we did in the beginning.
And we talk about widowhood as an identity. We aren't trying to erase it or graduate from it. We're figuring out how being widows can exist alongside all the other people we're becoming.
Grief changes. We change. Our lives change. But the love is still here.
ABOUT STAY-AT-HOME WIDOW
Stay-at-Home Widow is a podcast where two lifelong friends talk about rebuilding ourselves after the sudden and unexpected deaths of our husbands and maneuvering the f*ckery of grief.
We are Sharmane Fury and LaVonna, lifelong friends who became widows just 11 months apart.
Rooted in the experiences of Black and Brown women, this is our space to talk honestly about widowhood, grief, identity, life after loss, and the messy, tender, sometimes absurd parts of rebuilding after partner loss.
New episodes on the first Wednesday of every month.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome to Stay-at-Home Widow
00:38 Introductions
02:08 Widow Check-In and Death Anniversaries
08:24 Finding Other Widows in the Wild
13:02 Why Widow Community Matters
17:09 What Becomes Yours After Your Partner Dies?
20:59 Does Changing Grief Mean Letting Go?
22:18 Becoming Someone Your Person Never Knew
25:06 Letting Sadness and Joy Exist Together
28:30 Why the Love Isn't Past Tense
32:01 Building Lives Without Them
38:43 Slowing Down and Giving Ourselves Grace
40:40 Trauma, Memories and Unexpected Triggers
43:36 How Our Relationship With Grief Has Changed
47:34 Year One vs. Year Two
49:05 Grief, Alcohol and Setting Boundaries
52:01 Finding Pieces of Them in Family
53:49 Evidence That They Were Here
58:28 Approaching Another Death Anniversary
1:02:27 Cemeteries, Ashes and Places to Remember
1:07:35 Learning to Live Without Clinging
1:09:02 Widowhood as Part of Our Identity
1:13:00 How Talking About Grief Has Changed Us
1:14:31 Closing Thoughts
COMMUNITY CARE NOTE
This episode contains frank discussions of grief, the death of a spouse or partner, traumatic loss, death anniversaries, CPR, alcohol use as a coping mechanism, and emotional vulnerability.
Please take care of yourself while listening and engage in whatever way feels safest for you.
DISCLAIMER
Sharmane and LaVonna are widows speaking from their own lived experiences.
They are not therapists, medical professionals, life coaches, or grief experts.
Nothing discussed on the show should be taken as universal advice or a substitute for professional support.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/stay-at-home-widow--7299629/support.
Stay-at-Home Widow is a monthly podcast about widowhood, grief, friendship, identity, and rebuilding life after the death of a spouse.New episodes on the first Wednesday of every month.
Watch on YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@stayathomewidow
Follow Stay-at-Home Widow:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/stayathomewidowpod
TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@stayathomewidowpod
Facebook: Stay-at-Home Widow on Facebook
Website: https://stayathomewidow.com
FOLLOW US
Sharmane Fury
Instagram: @sharmanefury
YouTube: @sharmanefury
LaVonna
Instagram: @thevonnaview
TikTok: @lavonnadenise
Subscribe for monthly conversations about widowhood, grief, life after loss, loneliness, identity, and rebuilding after the death of a spouse.What is something nobody warned you about grief? Share your experience with us.
#Widowhood #Grief #LifeAfterLoss1 hr 17 min - I Can't Remember Sh*t: Let's Talk About Widow Fog(00:00:00) I Can't Remember Sh*t: Let's Talk About Widow Fog(00:00:38) Introductions(00:06:11) Check-In & Debrief from Episode 1(00:22:45) What Is Widow Fog?(00:39:21) Hygiene, Time Blindness & Losing Our Sense of Direction(00:41:53) Learning to Give Ourselves Grace(00:49:10) How Our Pets Help Us Remember & Maintain Routine(00:59:21) Finding Healthier Ways to Cope(00:59:59) 59:59 – Rebuilding Through the Podcast(01:05:31) Closing Thoughts & Building a Grief CommunityGrief brain fog, widow fog, memory loss, trouble focusing, and losing mental clarity can be startling parts of life after loss.
Why does grief make your brain feel like it just stopped working?
In Episode 2 of Stay-at-Home Widow, Sharmane Fury and LaVonna talk honestly about what happens when grief starts affecting memory, focus, routines, and everyday functioning.
EPISODE 2: I CAN’T REMEMBER SHIT: LET’S TALK ABOUT WIDOW FOG
We had never heard of widow fog until after we became widows.
Then suddenly we were forgetting appointments, losing track of days, walking into rooms and forgetting why, missing plans, struggling with directions, experiencing time blindness, and constantly feeling like there was something we were supposed to remember.
Neither of us expected grief to affect our brains this way.
We talk about what happens when memory used to be something you could depend on and suddenly it isn’t.
We also get real about how grief can disrupt the basic shit nobody talks about enough: showering, eating, brushing your teeth, feeding your pets, keeping appointments, maintaining your home, remembering people you love, and doing ordinary things that once happened automatically.
Along the way, we share the systems we have built for ourselves—alarms, notes, repetitive routines, accountability check-ins, visual reminders, pets who refuse to let us forget dinner, and learning to ask for and accept help.
And we talk about giving ourselves grace when those systems still fail.
We also check in after releasing our first episode and talk about what it felt like to put such a vulnerable conversation into the world.
LaVonna reflects on how the experience cracked her open and pushed her to share parts of herself she usually keeps guarded.
Sharmane talks about feeling like she cannot put the cork back in the bottle anymore—grief comes out whether she intends for it to or not.
If you have ever thought, “What the fuck is wrong with my brain?” this conversation is for you.
Sometimes, it really is just the fog.
ABOUT STAY-AT-HOME WIDOW
Stay-at-Home Widow is a podcast where lifelong friends Sharmane Fury and LaVonna talk honestly about widowhood, grief, identity, and rebuilding after the sudden deaths of their husbands.
Rooted in the experiences of Black and Brown women, the show makes room for the messy, tender, funny, frustrating, and sometimes absurd parts of grief.
New episodes on the first Wednesday of every month.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome to Stay-at-Home Widow
00:38 Introductions
06:11 Check-In and Debrief from Episode 1
22:45 What Is Widow Fog?
39:21 Hygiene, Time Blindness and Losing Our Sense of Direction
41:53 Learning to Give Ourselves Grace
49:10 How Our Pets Help Us Remember and Maintain Routine
59:21 Finding Healthier Ways to Cope
59:59 Rebuilding Through the Podcast
1:05:31 Closing Thoughts and Building a Grief Community
COMMUNITY CARE NOTE
This episode contains frank discussions of grief, the death of a spouse or partner, memory loss, difficulty with daily functioning, hygiene, and emotional vulnerability.
Please take care of yourself while listening and engage in whatever way feels safest for you.
DISCLAIMER
Sharmane and LaVonna are widows speaking from our own lived experiences. We are not therapists, medical professionals, life coaches, or grief experts. Nothing discussed on the show should be taken as universal advice, medical guidance, or a substitute for professional support.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/stay-at-home-widow--7299629/support.
Stay-at-Home Widow is a monthly podcast about widowhood, grief, friendship, identity, and rebuilding life after the death of a spouse.New episodes on the first Wednesday of every month.
Watch on YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@stayathomewidow
Follow Stay-at-Home Widow:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/stayathomewidowpod
TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@stayathomewidowpod
Facebook: Stay-at-Home Widow on Facebook
Website: https://stayathomewidow.com
FOLLOW US
Sharmane Fury
Instagram: @sharmanefury
YouTube: @sharmanefury
LaVonna
Instagram: @thevonnaview
TikTok: @lavonnadenise
Subscribe for monthly conversations about widowhood, grief, life after loss, loneliness, identity, and rebuilding after the death of a spouse.What is something nobody warned you about grief? Share your experience with us.
#Widowhood #Grief #LifeAfterLoss1 hr 9 min - Welcome to the F*ck3ry of GriefWidowhood, grief, and life after loss can completely reshape your identity, relationships, routines, and sense of the future. In Episode 1 of Stay-at-Home Widow, Sharmane Fury and LaVonna talk honestly about becoming widows just 11 months apart, losing a spouse, loneliness, heartbreak, emotional healing, and rebuilding a life you never expected to be living.
EPISODE 1: WELCOME TO THE F*CKERY
For our first episode, we start at the beginning: who we are, how our lives have been intertwined since childhood, and how we somehow found ourselves becoming widows within less than a year of each other.
We talk about why we created Stay-at-Home Widow and what it means to live through profound grief when the world around you expects you to be strong, resilient, and ready to move forward.But what does “moving forward” actually mean after the death of your spouse?
We unpack the pressure to move on, let go, stay strong, or make other people more comfortable with your grief.We talk about sadness, heartbreak, anger, loneliness, identity, emotional healing, and the complicated emotions that can come with a loss that permanently changes your life.
Who are you when the person who shared your life is suddenly gone? What happens when the future you planned no longer exists? And how do you begin rebuilding when you did not choose to start over?
We also get into some of the things nobody warned us about: the physical effects of grief, isolation, grief milestones and anniversaries, and the need to give ourselves permission to be angry, messy, funny, exhausted, sad, and honest.
Rooted in the experiences of Black and Brown women, Stay-at-Home Widow is not about pretending grief disappears or forcing ourselves to “move on.”It is about learning how grief changes, how we change with it, and how we continue living after loss.We hope these conversations can also leave a ladder behind for the people coming through the fire after us.
ABOUT STAY-AT-HOME WIDOW
Stay-at-Home Widow is a podcast where two lifelong friends talk about rebuilding after the sudden and unexpected deaths of our husbands and maneuvering the f*ckery of grief.
We are Sharmane Fury and LaVonna, lifelong friends who became widows just 11 months apart. We talk honestly about widowhood, grief, life after loss, loneliness, identity, anger, memory, laughter, survival, and rebuilding.
New episodes on the first Wednesday of every month.
CHAPTERS00:00 Welcome to Stay-at-Home Widow
01:27 Why We Needed a Grief Podcast
06:17 Becoming Widows 11 Months Apart
10:00 Why People Get Uncomfortable Around Grief
13:16 Moving Forward vs. Moving On
17:50 Strength, Resilience and Permission to Grieve
20:54 When Partner Loss Changes Everything
27:52 The Physical Pain of Grief
30:13 Why Losing a Spouse Feels Different
33:09 Anger, Isolation and Finding Grief Community
40:22 Grief Milestones, Anniversaries and Surviving the First Years
43:55 Suicidal Ideation, Depression and Profound Loss
50:34 Sudden Loss vs. Anticipatory Grief
53:32 When Your Body Keeps Looking for the Person Who Died
58:16 What Stay-at-Home Widow Will Be
59:06 Widow Days, Sad Days and Closing Thoughts
COMMUNITY CARE NOTE
This episode contains frank discussions of grief, the death of a spouse or partner, suicidal ideation in the context of widowhood and profound loss, and emotional vulnerability.
Please take care of yourself while listening and engage in whatever way feels safest for you.
DISCLAIMER
Sharmane and LaVonna are widows speaking from lived experience.We are not therapists, medical professionals, life coaches, or grief experts.Nothing discussed on the show should be taken as universal advice or a substitute for professional support.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/stay-at-home-widow--7299629/support.
Stay-at-Home Widow is a monthly podcast about widowhood, grief, friendship, identity, and rebuilding life after the death of a spouse.New episodes on the first Wednesday of every month.
Watch on YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@stayathomewidow
Follow Stay-at-Home Widow:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/stayathomewidowpod
TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@stayathomewidowpod
Facebook: Stay-at-Home Widow on Facebook
Website: https://stayathomewidow.com
FOLLOW US
Sharmane Fury
Instagram: @sharmanefury
YouTube: @sharmanefury
LaVonna
Instagram: @thevonnaview
TikTok: @lavonnadenise
Subscribe for monthly conversations about widowhood, grief, life after loss, loneliness, identity, and rebuilding after the death of a spouse.What is something nobody warned you about grief? Share your experience with us.
#Widowhood #Grief #LifeAfterLoss1 hr 1 min
About Stay-at-Home Widow
From the publisher's feed
Stay-at-Home Widow is an honest, unfiltered podcast about widowhood, grief, sudden loss, and rebuilding a life after the death of a spouse or partner.
Hosted by lifelong friends Sharmane…
Hosted by lifelong friends Sharmane…
Fury and LaVonna, Stay-at-Home Widow grew out of an experience neither of us ever expected to share: becoming widows within 11 months of each other after the sudden and unexpected deaths of our husbands.
Together, we talk about what grief actually looks like when the funeral is over and everyone else returns to their lives, but yours has been permanently changed.
We explore widowhood, bereavement, spouse loss, partner loss, loneliness, identity, anger, jealousy, memory, friendship, family, dating, solo life, grief triggers, anniversaries, rebuilding, and the complicated process of learning how to live in a life you did not choose.
This is not a podcast about “moving on,” “letting go,” or finding a neat ending to grief.
We talk about continuing bonds with the people we love, carrying grief alongside joy, navigating the physical and emotional realities of loss, and figuring out who you are when the future you planned suddenly disappears.
Rooted especially in the experiences of Black and Brown women and femmes, Stay-at-Home Widow creates space for conversations about grief that are often missing from mainstream bereavement and widow support spaces.
We talk about the cultural expectations placed on BIPOC women to be strong, resilient, composed, and capable even when our worlds have fallen apart.
We also make room for humor, rage, vulnerability, absurdity, tenderness, and all the uncomfortable emotions that can accompany grief.
Whether you are newly widowed, years into widowhood, grieving the death of a husband, wife, spouse, or partner, supporting someone after a major loss, or simply trying to understand what life after loss can really feel like, you are welcome here.Expect candid conversations about grief and loss, widow life, navigating life after the death of a spouse, friendship after loss, identity after loss, grief support, coping with sudden death, rebuilding after loss, and finding moments of connection, laughter, and possibility without pretending the person we lost no longer matters.
Expect candid conversations about grief and loss, Wid life, navigating life after the death of a spouse, friendship after loss, identity after loss, grief support, coping with sudden death, rebuilding after loss, and finding moments of connection, laughter, and possibility without pretending the person we lost no longer matters.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/stay-at-home-widow--7299629/support.
Together, we talk about what grief actually looks like when the funeral is over and everyone else returns to their lives, but yours has been permanently changed.
We explore widowhood, bereavement, spouse loss, partner loss, loneliness, identity, anger, jealousy, memory, friendship, family, dating, solo life, grief triggers, anniversaries, rebuilding, and the complicated process of learning how to live in a life you did not choose.
This is not a podcast about “moving on,” “letting go,” or finding a neat ending to grief.
We talk about continuing bonds with the people we love, carrying grief alongside joy, navigating the physical and emotional realities of loss, and figuring out who you are when the future you planned suddenly disappears.
Rooted especially in the experiences of Black and Brown women and femmes, Stay-at-Home Widow creates space for conversations about grief that are often missing from mainstream bereavement and widow support spaces.
We talk about the cultural expectations placed on BIPOC women to be strong, resilient, composed, and capable even when our worlds have fallen apart.
We also make room for humor, rage, vulnerability, absurdity, tenderness, and all the uncomfortable emotions that can accompany grief.
Whether you are newly widowed, years into widowhood, grieving the death of a husband, wife, spouse, or partner, supporting someone after a major loss, or simply trying to understand what life after loss can really feel like, you are welcome here.Expect candid conversations about grief and loss, widow life, navigating life after the death of a spouse, friendship after loss, identity after loss, grief support, coping with sudden death, rebuilding after loss, and finding moments of connection, laughter, and possibility without pretending the person we lost no longer matters.
Expect candid conversations about grief and loss, Wid life, navigating life after the death of a spouse, friendship after loss, identity after loss, grief support, coping with sudden death, rebuilding after loss, and finding moments of connection, laughter, and possibility without pretending the person we lost no longer matters.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/stay-at-home-widow--7299629/support.