Adventures of Dirk: The Celebrity Damsel In Distress
Dirk encounters a stranded motorist who looks very familiar.
By Original Aramis. Listen to the
Podcast at Steamy
It was a simply beautiful day, just perfect for riding; bright sunlight,
clear sky, not too hot, no wind to speak of, absolutely perfect. Dirk had been
on the road riding with his club since early morning, and now it was very late
in the afternoon, and he was headed home.
He had spent the last two hours at the clubhouse with his brothers,
having a few cold ones after a long and enjoyable day on the road, and now he
was heading for his house with the sun setting behind him. The brotherhood of
his club and the pleasure of riding the roads with them was the reason he
joined the club in the first place, and he was already looking forward to the
He was riding down a back road that was far enough off the main track that
it wasn t used all that often, and it was one of his favorite roads to ride for
just that reason. People driving cars, or cagers as they were known in the biker
world, were the single biggest threat to anyone on a motorcycle, and Dirk
avoided heavily traveled roads whenever he could. He was just rounding a bend
in the road when he saw a car pulled off to the side of the road with what
appeared to be a woman standing next to it, looking down at the right front
tire which was flat. He slowed his bike and then pulled off the road, parking
behind the car, a fairly new black Mustang convertible. The woman, a tall
blonde wearing a gold sleeveless blouse, black slacks and flats, looked at him
with apprehension as he got off the bike and walked over to her. No doubt she
was sizing him up, just as he was doing the same to her.
She was a stunner, to be sure, and from what Dirk could see beneath the
form-fitting top and slacks she was wearing she had a body to die for. Dirk
guessed that she was about 50 years old or so, but she certainly didn t look it
either in her face or her body. Dirk was a boob man, always had been and always
would be, and the woman standing next to the car certainly filled the bill.
While not huge her boobs were big, bigger than average, which pleased Dirk to
no end. And from what he could see beneath the fairly tight top and snug slacks
she was wearing this woman was a very fit and trim 50.
He could tell she was apprehensive because he had ridden up on a Harley and
was wearing the colors of an MC; Dirk had encountered this before and knew how
to handle it. His boots crunched in the gravel as he walked up to the car,
stopping at the trunk to keep some space between them until she was sure he wasn t
going to attack her. She turned to face him as he stopped.
You need some help, ma'am? he asked, putting his hand on the trunk of the
car. Dirk could see some of the apprehension leave her face when he used the word
ma'am, which was exactly his intention.
Yes, I do! she said, giving him a nervous smile. As you can see I ve got a
flat, and I have no idea of how to change a tire!
Do you have road hazard on your car insurance? he asked. If you have that
you can call for a tow truck, and the driver will change your tire for you at
Yes, I do, but they always take so goddamn long to get here! she said, her
smile broadening just a bit as she became more comfortable with him. And I
really don t feel like standing out here on the side of the road way out in
Bumfuck Egypt while I m waiting for the tow truck to get here! She put her hand
to her mouth and paused for a moment before continuing. I m sorry, I always
curse whenever I get nervous or upset, and right now I m a little bit of both.
No need to be nervous, ma'am, all bikers aren t like what you see on TV, he
said, trying to reassure you. Most of us aren t, actually, so don t let the
colors fool you. Now would you like me to change your tire for you? he asked,
and her face immediately brightened.
You d do that for me? For some strange woman you ve never met before? she
You re hardly a 'strange woman, and yes, I d be happy to change your tire
Thank you so much! she said, a smile on her face. She took a step towards
him, extending her hand as she continued. I m Caroline, she said, introducing
herself. Dirk stepped forward and took her hand, shaking it as he spoke.
Dirk, he said, returning her smile. Nice to meet you, Caroline! Now let me
get at this tire so you can get on your way, he said, releasing her hand.
Fifteen minutes later he was done, standing next to the Mustang and wiping
his hands on a shop rag he s gotten out of the saddlebags on his bike.
That temporary tire is next to useless, so you might want to get your real
tire repaired or replaced as soon as you can, like tomorrow, he said, nodding
to the donut tire now bolted onto the front right wheel. And stay off the major
highways with it, those things aren t designed for highway speeds. I ve seen
them literally disintegrate at those speeds, and it didn t end well for the
Thank you, I will, Caroline said, looking down at the temporary tire before
looking back up at him. And thank you so much for stopping to help me, Dirk,
you ve been a real gentleman in more ways than one! she said, reaching out and
touching him on the arm as she spoke. The smile on her face was genuine this
time with no trace of nervousness. You have to let me pay you for this, she
said, looking into his eyes.
Nope, I wouldn t dream of it! he replied. I was raised to respect women and
do right by them, so this is just a normal thing for me. She smiled at him
Well, then, at least you have to let me buy you a beer! she said, pausing
for a moment before continuing. Or would you rather come to my house and have
it there? she asked, the look in her eyes changing. I think we d be much more
comfortable there than in a noisy old bar, don t you? she asked, raising an
That all depends on what you have in mind, he said, grinning at her as he
played her game. She grinned right back as she replied.
I guess you ll just have to come to my house and find out, won t you, Dirk?
I guess so, he said, smiling at her.
Great! Just follow me, it s not that far! she said. She walked around the
front of the car and got in, starting the engine as Dirk walked back to his
bike. He tossed the shop rag back into the open saddlebag, closed and secured
it, then got on his bike and fired it up. She pulled her Mustang out onto the
road, being careful not to spray him with gravel as she did so, and Dirk
followed her. Ten minutes later they were pulling into the driveway of a
single-story ranch-style house sitting in the middle of about five acres of
land. The closest neighbor was at least that far away, and Dirk liked the house
right away. The garage door opened as Caroline s car got close, and she pulled
the Mustang inside to park it. There wasn t enough room in the garage for his
bike, so Dirk parked it in the driveway just outside of the garage and got off.
He walked into the garage just as Caroline was closing the door to her car.
We ll go in the side door, so just follow me, she said, turning to walk to
the door. Dirk couldn t help but notice and admire her firm, shapely ass as she
'Damn, but she looks good for a broad her age! he thought to himself as he
followed her into the house. Caroline pressed a button on the garage door
opener control that was on the wall next to the door, and the garage door began
dropping down behind them. The side door took them right into the kitchen, and
once inside Caroline dropped her car keys and purse on the counter. She walked
over to the refrigerator and opened it, then looked at him and smiled.
Imported or domestic? she asked, standing behind the open refrigerator door.
Domestic, please. I can t stand imported beer. Most of them are bitter and
have a nasty aftertaste to them, he replied.
Domestic it is, then! she said, bending over to retrieve a beer. When she
stood up she was holding a dark brown bottle of beer in each hand, and she
nudged the refrigerator door with her hip to get it to swing closed. He was
happy to see that the beer just happened to be his favorite brand. She held one
of the beers out to him, smiling as she spoke.
I don t like imported beer much either, she said, twisting the top off her
beer, then dropping it into the trash can at the end of the counter. And for
pretty much the same reasons you stated. I only keep in in the house because
some of my friends like it. She held her beer up in his direction and made a
So, here s to new friends! she said, giving him a big smile.
He smiled back, clinking the neck of his bottle against hers. To new
friends, he said, and then they both took a drink from their beers. The beer
was cold and good, and it went down smooth.
Let's go into the living room and relax, shall we? Caroline asked,
motioning towards the big living room adjacent to the kitchen.
Sounds good to me, Dirk replied, following her out of the kitchen and into
the living room. The room was huge, bigger than any living room he had ever
seen, and was sunken on top of that. The circular walls of the sunken living
room were lined with tan leather couches and love seats with a big, round
coffee table in the middle, and in the middle of that sat the biggest, most
elaborate bong Dirk had ever seen. Caroline walked down the short stairway into
the living room and then sat down on one of the couches. She patted the couch
next to her, smiling at Dirk, so he walked down into the living room and sat
down next to her, keeping a respectable distance between them. They still
didn't know each other all that well, although Dirk knew more about her than
she thought he did. In any event, he was playing it cool for now.
:So tell me, Dirk, what do you do when you're not rescuing damsels in
distress who are stranded on the side of the road, she asked, looking at him
and taking a sip from her beer.
Not much, actually, he replied, taking a pull from his beer, before he
continued. I guess you could say I'm kind of retired. My parents were killed in
a car crash when I was 24, and I inherited enough money and holdings that I
don't have to work again for the rest of my life.
I'm so sorry, Dirk. Caroline said, frowning. She ran his hand along the
side of his face as she spoke, her hand was warm and soft, and it gave Dirk a
Thank you, but it's okay, he said, looking into her eyes. I'm okay now.
Took a while for me to get over it, to get used to the idea that they were
gone, but thanks to the help of some of my friends and a therapist who really
knows her shit, I managed to get my life on track.
Good. I'm so glad to hear that, she replied, smiling. So now for the most
part, I just cruise around the country on my bike, either that or I'm out
riding with my club, he said, sitting back on the couch. Sounds like a pretty
good life if you ask me, Caroline said. Is there a Mrs. Dirk or a lady friend
in the picture, she asked, raising her eyebrows.
No, I'm too much of a nomad for that, Dirk replied. Besides, I'm way too
young to settle down or get involved in a serious relationship. I'm too busy
enjoying myself and having a good time, he said, chuckling a bit.
And getting laid as much as you can along the way, I imagine, she said,
grinning at him as she raised the bottle to her lips and took a sip.
Yeah, there's that, too, Dirk said, grinning right back at her. He took a
pull from his beer before he continued, the thought crossing his mind that it
was time to let her know that he knew about her.
So, what have you been up to since you retired from the industry? he
asked, taking her by surprise. And what brings you all the way out here from
She smiled a half-smile as she looked down for a moment at the beer in her
lap. It was the kind of smile you make when you know you've been caught at
something. She looked up at him, still smiling as she spoke.
When did you recognize me? she asked quietly.
As soon as I got close enough to get a good look, he replied.
So that explains the you're no strange woman comment you made out on the
road, then, she said, and Dirk nodded. I had a feeling you may have
recognized me, but I wasn't sure. You were being very cool about it all, I must
It wasn't easy, let me tell you, he said. When I was a kid going through
puberty, you were my favorite porn star of all time. I saw just about every
movie you ever made, and I couldn't even begin to tell you the number of times
I, well, that is, I mean. He stammered, realizing that he'd gotten carried
away with his enthusiasm and said too much.
The number of times you masturbated over me? she said, finishing his
sentence for him and grinning at him.
Well, yeah, he said, slightly embarrassed.
She laughed at his obvious discomfort, then put her hand on his leg as she
replied. It's okay, Dirk, really it is, she said. I'd be insulted if you
didn't masturbate over me. After all, that's the whole point of porn, isn't it?
I mean, who watches porn and doesn't masturbate? she asked, leaning back and
taking her hand from his leg.
Good point, he said, taking another drink from his beer.
Did you come hard, Dirk? she asked, and Dirk just about choked on his
beer. He turned and looked at her, and she leaned over towards him as she spoke
again, bracing herself with one hand on the couch next to him. Did you come
hard for me? she asked, her voice a throaty whisper.
Dirk nodded as he replied. Yeah, I did, he said in a low voice. No porn
star ever made me come the way you did, then or now.
She smiled at this, looking deep into his eyes as she spoke again. Would
you like for me to make you come now, Dirk? she asked, her voice nearly a
whisper. She put her hand on the top of his thigh and rubbed up and down as she
spoke, and Dirk could feel his cock beginning to twitch as the blood started
rushing to it. I mean, after all, it's the least I could do to repay you for
helping me today, don't you think?
I'd have to be crazy to say no, he said, leaning forward and putting his
beer on the coffee table, then sitting back. And I'm a lot of things, but
She smiled at his reply, her hand still moving up and down on his thigh, but
moving up higher with every stroke. You remember what my specialty was, don't
you, Dirk? she asked, still smiling and still rubbing his thigh.
As I recall, you gave one hell of a blowjob, he replied, and she grinned
I gave the best blowjobs in the business, she said proudly. Nobody could
suck a cock like me, and I mean nobody, she said, sliding her hand up and onto
the growing bulge in his jeans.
She gripped his cock gently through his jeans as she continued. Would you like
me to suck your cock, Dirk? she asked, her voice a whisper. Would you like
for me to suck your cock, make you come in my mouth, and then swallow it? She
squeezed his cock harder through his jeans, feeling it growing beneath her
I'd like that very much, Dirk said in a low voice.
She broke out into a big smile at his reply, then slid off the couch to
kneel in front of him, spreading his knees out as she did. She sat down on her
haunches, her hands on his knees for support, then running her hands at the
tops of his thighs towards his crotch. She looked up at him, a smile on her face,
as her hands met at his cock. She massaged and squeezed his cock through his
jeans for a moment, looking down at the growing lump in his jeans, then moved
her hands to the button at the top. She opened the button and then slid the
zipper down slowly, looking up at him again as she did so.
When the zipper was all the way down, she pulled his jeans open, looking
down as she did so, and was pleasantly surprised to see that not only was he
not wearing any boxers, he was also clean-shaven. She looked up at him, a smile
on her face, her eyes sparkling with desire as she spoke.
Oh, look, a naked cock! she cooed, holding his jeans open. Is it for me?
Let's set him and his two brothers free, shall we? she asked, reaching
inside his jeans to cup his balls in her hand. She gently lifted them up and
pulled them out of his jeans, moving his jeans aside with the other hand. His
cock and balls were now fully exposed, and she was pleasantly surprised to see
that Dirk shaved his balls as well. She looked up at him as she spoke.
I'm so glad to see that you shave, Dirk, she said, her voice husky. It
makes giving you a blowjob and sucking on your balls so much easier. Caroline
smiled at him again and then lowered her head down to his cock. She ran her warm,
wet tongue slowly along the underside of his semi-erect cock from the base to
the tip, leaving a glistening trail behind. She did this several times before
she moved down to his balls, licking them just as slowly and lovingly as she
She wrapped one hand around his shaft, pumping it slowly to full hardness as
she planted her soft, warm lips on his balls. She opened her mouth and sucked
one of his balls into her mouth, rolling her tongue around it as she lifted her
head up, pulling on it with her mouth. She repeated the process with the other
one until his balls were slick and shiny with her spit.
Dirk watched in amazement as she worked him over. He simply couldn't believe
that the porn star of his youthful dreams was actually in front of him on her
knees, sucking on his cock and balls. And damn! but she was good. His cock was
rock hard and throbbing by now, her hand wrapped firmly around it and pumping
it as she worked on his balls.
She released his ball from her mouth with a gentle pop, then ran her tongue
over and around both of them before opening her mouth as wide as she could,
placing her lips on his sack. With gentle but steady suction, she sucked both
of his balls into her mouth, and Dirk could see her cheeks bulging out as her
mouth was filled with his balls. She looked up at him for a moment, still
pumping his cock with her hand, and then continued working on his balls. She
rolled her tongue around them as much as she could, but her mouth was so full
that all she could really do was suck on them and tug on them by lifting her
head up. She did this for a few moments, then let his balls slip from her
Aha, she sighed, her mouth open. I just love sucking on a man's balls,
she said, grinning up at him as she continued pumping his cock with her hand. Almost
as much as I love sucking on his dick. She ran the flat of her soft, wet
tongue up the underside of his cock from his balls to the tip, opening her
mouth wide when she got to the head and lowering it down over the first three
inches of his cock, before closing her lips around it. She immediately applied
suction, slowly pulling her mouth back up his shaft until just the head was in
She sucked hard on the head, swirling her tongue over and around it, before
sliding her mouth all the way down his shaft. She took his entire length in her
mouth, her nose pressing against his abdomen as she deep-throated him,
massaging and squeezing his balls with her hand as she did so. Then she slowly
slid her mouth back up his shaft until just the head was in her mouth again,
once more swirling her tongue around it.
Um, she mowed around the head of his cock, looking up at him as the
corners of her mouth turned up in a smile. She grabbed the wet shaft in her
hand and pumped as she released it from her mouth to speak. I can taste your
pre-cum, she said, gripping his cock tightly in her fist and pumping it hard. And
I can't wait to taste your cum when I make your cock explode in my mouth.
Then she opened her mouth wide again and dropped her mouth down on his cock,
again waiting until the first three inches was in her mouth, before she closed
her lips around it. She repeated what she had just done, sucking hard on his
cock as she slid her mouth all the way down and then slowly back up his shaft,
her hand gripping and massaging his heavy balls as she did so.
Damn, but she's good. The best in the business. And if she keeps this up,
I'm gonna cum in no time. Dirk thought to himself as he watched Caroline's head
bob up and down on his shaft. Her tempo was just right, not too fast and not
too slow, but just fast enough with just the right amount of suction. As if she