Stepping In with Kara

In this reflective solo episode, Kara returns to the podcast after an intentional pause to reconnect and share the season that led her to step back. She reflects on the transition from a long chapter of healing following her 2018 accident, describing how moving through this time has felt much like the unfolding stages of a season—each holding its own grief, wisdom, and integration. Drawing inspiration from time spent walking in the autumn woods, Kara explores the beauty of honoring life’s natural rhythms and recognizing the quiet transitions that signal when one season is completing and another is beginning.

She also shares an invitation into a new chapter of creation through The Book Journey, a community space where listeners can walk alongside her as she writes and brings her next book into form. This episode is an honest check-in, a heartfelt reflection on endings and beginnings, and an invitation to grow together, even through the pauses.

The Book Journey: https://www.karastoltenberg.com/bookjourney

Connect with Kara:

• Website: ⁠https://www.karastoltenberg.com/podcast
• Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/KaraStoltenberg
• Newsletter: https://www.karastoltenberg.com/subscribe
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/steppinginwithkara
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karastoltenberg/

In this episode, Kara features Amy Salzman, a registered nurse and mother from the Nebraska Sandhills, who bravely shares her daughter Molly's journey with schizophrenia, a diagnosis that dramatically altered their lives when Molly was just 20.

This conversation peels back the layers of mental illness, revealing not just the clinical aspects but the deeply personal impact. Amy transparently discusses the subtle, early signs of the "prodromal phase" – the quiet shifts in behavior and mood that precede an acute break. She recounts the overwhelming challenge of seeking help, the desperation for answers, and the profound realization that their family was embarking on an unforeseen path.

Amy's story is a testament to the unyielding strength of a mother's love and the vital importance of open conversations about mental health. We delve into the difficult reality of mental illness stigma and why sharing these journeys is crucial for education, empathy, and support. This episode offers powerful insights into advocating for a loved one, finding strength in vulnerability, and transforming pain into purpose. It’s a message of hope, resilience, and the enduring power of never giving up.

Highlights:

• Hear a firsthand account of the emotional and practical challenges families face when a loved one receives a severe mental illness diagnosis, highlighting the isolation and the search for knowledge.

• Discover how one family is actively working to dismantle the societal stigma surrounding mental illness by bravely sharing their experiences and advocating for greater understanding.

• Witness the incredible fortitude and unwavering commitment of a mother fighting for her child's well-being, transforming immense personal struggle into a source of inspiration and education for others.

Quotes:

• "I want to educate people on this disease and maybe do something a little bit about the stigma surrounding it, because there is a lot of that. And if I can change one person's mind on stigma or one person feels okay talking about it, then I feel like my purpose is done."

• "We felt like we were on an island and we could not get off. And I don't want other people to feel that way."

• "That's all you want for your kids, is for them to be happy and healthy. And if they're not healthy, how are they going to be happy?"

• "You have to grieve who your child was. And then you have to love who they are now."

Connect with Amy:

Amy Salzman is a wife, mother, grandmother and Registered Nurse. After her daughter went through a difficult time in her life with a mental illness, Amy wants to share what she has learned to help other families in similar situations.

Connect with Kara:

• Support on Patreon: patreon.com/KaraStoltenberg

• Website: ⁠⁠https://www.steppinginwithkara.com⁠
• Newsletter: ⁠https://www.karastoltenberg.com/subscribe⁠
• Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/steppinginwithkara⁠
• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/karastoltenberg⁠

In this introspective solo episode, Kara invites you to explore the profound power of rest and stillness in a world that often demands constant pushing and productivity. She delves into her personal journey of recognizing the hidden magic in pausing, recharging, and listening to the subtle cues of your body and mind. Kara shares candid insights on the societal pressures and ingrained habits that make rest feel counterintuitive, and how leaning into moments of quiet can lead to unexpected breakthroughs and a deeper sense of well-being. This episode is a gentle yet powerful reminder that true progress often comes not from striving harder, but from allowing yourself the sacred space to simply be. If you've been feeling the strain of constant motion, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on the transformative potential of rest.

Highlights:

• Discover how the belief that "pushing equals progress" can hinder your true potential and lead to burnout.
• Kara shares a personal revelation about the surprising peace found in letting go of the need to constantly "do" and produce.
• Explore the concept that rest isn't a reward for hard work, but a fundamental ingredient for sustainable creativity and joy.
• Hear how prioritizing stillness can lead to a deeper connection with your intuition and inner wisdom.
• The episode challenges the conventional wisdom that growth only happens through continuous effort, offering a fresh perspective on effective living.

Quotes:

• "As I was able to really allow myself to be in true stillness, that's when things started to shift."
• "I found that the more I allowed myself to just be, the more I was able to truly hear the soft voice of my own body, telling me what it needed."
• "It's counterintuitive to think that when you stop, you're actually gaining, but that's been my experience time and time again."
• "We're taught from such a young age to just go, go, go, produce, produce, produce, and there's so much value in doing that, but there's equally as much, if not more, value in just being."

In this heartfelt solo episode, Kara invites listeners on a deeply personal journey from simply "being okay" to fully reclaiming a vibrant sense of aliveness, no matter life's twists and turns. After navigating profound shifts and working diligently to find a place of peace, Kara explores what it truly means to live by her powerful mantra, "The more here I am, the more okay I can be." This episode delves into the freedom found in releasing comparisons to the past, embracing your inner truth, and creating the life of your dreams from exactly where you are right now. You'll hear about navigating the often-overlooked challenge of regulating your nervous system around good things, the profound humility of generosity and the circle of giving and receiving, and Kara's own remarkable story of finding renewed freedom and joy through unexpected avenues, including the new experience of driving with a full self-driving vehicle. Prepare to be inspired to explore your life with wonder and trust its beautiful unfolding.

Highlights:

• Discover the shift from merely "being okay" to actively "squeezing the joy" out of your life experience and truly living.
• Explore the often-overlooked challenge of regulating your nervous system around beautiful and good things, not just the difficult ones.
• Understand the profound harmony and balance that comes with fully embracing both giving and receiving in your life.
• Learn how to intentionally bring yourself into the present moment to find a true sense of "I am okay," even when feeling out of sorts.
• Hear Kara's inspiring personal story of regaining freedom and joy, symbolized by the return to driving with the help of new technology, and how life reforms around you when you step into the present.

Quotes:

• "The more here I am, the more okay I can be."
• "I want more than to be okay. I want to be squeezing the joy out of my life experience. I want to be truly living. I don't want to be surviving. I want to feel and be alive."
• "I trust the unfolding of my life."
• "Nature heals in the most effortless way… literally all you have to do is get yourself into the true depths of nature and things start to shift."
• “Im taking a stand in my life… for freedom.”

In this episode, Kara steps in with Rachel Gossett, a breathwork facilitator and reiki master, to explore her story of healing from a 33-year journey with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. Given the instability in her home, as a young girl Rachel longed for love and acceptance. In 7th grade when she was being bullied and made fun of for the way she looked, she began to think if she could change that it would bring her that love and acceptance she craved. Restricting her eating became a way to control life around her. Kara and Rachel engage in an honest conversation about the societal pressures and early experiences that can shape our perceptions of our bodies, and Rachel shares the pivotal moments and shifts in perspective that guided her toward recovery and now allow her to support others on their own healing paths. Rachel gives ideas for engaging with teens if you are concerned around their body perception or food behaviors. If you are navigating challenges with your body image or disordered eating, this episode offers profound hope and practical insights.

Highlights:

• Rachel's first memory of becoming aware of her body was at seven years old, highlighting how early body image issues can begin.

• The impact of well-intentioned but potentially harmful messaging around appearance, even from a young age, is explored.

• Rachel shares how the "spinning" of constant body preoccupation eventually stopped as she moved further into her healing journey.

• Discover the power of breathwork as a tool for connecting with the body and processing stored emotions that can contribute to body image struggles.

• Rachel emphasizes the importance of shifting the internal narrative and consciously choosing thoughts that support self-acceptance and well-being.

Quotes:

• "And so much of it is the story we tell ourselves. And can we change the story? Can we start to be kinder to ourselves in the story?"

• “With the power of belief…. Intention… and breath healing is possible.”

• “You do not have to live with this forever.”

Connect with Rachel:

• Website: ⁠https://reikibyrae.com/⁠

• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/reikibyrae/⁠

• Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/rae.goss.967/⁠

• YouTube: ⁠https://m.youtube.com/@reclaimingyourlight⁠

• Book: ⁠Breath of Gold: Stories of Healing and Awakening Through Breathwork⁠

Rachel Gossett is a trauma-informed breathwork facilitator, Reiki Master, and Body Freedom Coach. After healing from 30+ years of disordered eating and body dysmorphia, she now helps others build a healthier relationship with food and their bodies. Through somatic practices, Rachel supports her clients in shedding shame, reconnecting with themselves, and reclaiming the freedom to be fully seen.

In this episode, Kara welcomes Dr. Karen Hyden, a board-certified nurse practitioner, Christian counselor, and integrative wellness coach, to discuss the power of exploring her story for healing. Karen has just released her memoir, Back to Hope. From finding her way though eating disorder, body dysmorphia and self-doubt as a teen to navigating the challenges of marriage and chronic illness to finding her true calling helping others, Karen's story offers inspiration and encouragement for anyone seeking to understand their past and create a brighter future. Karen offers encouragement and hope for listeners navigating their own journeys. If you need hope and inspiration, this episode will lift you up.

Highlights:

• Karen's book, "Back to Hope," is incredibly honest and relatable, especially for young women.

• Learn how Karen used writing to process emotions and gain insights into her life story.

• Karen shares her approach to exploring her life chronologically, identifying key events and their lasting impact.

• A candid conversation about the challenges and triumphs of marriage, including navigating difficult seasons and finding unity.

• Karen discusses the theme of feeling "not enough" and the journey to self-acceptance and self-love.

• Karen shares insights on improving communication and understanding in partnerships.

Quotes:

• "I feel like in order for me to move forward, I did need to explore my story and everything that happened in my story to really understand lies that I was believing."

• "Mamas and dads, do your work, do your healing work. Because what you do in your life to heal your life impacts your kids more than anything else."

• "Your love story is not your whole story."

• "The goal is to get back to unity. Division is the destruction of marriage."

• "Learning to be in one (marriage) for a lifelong adventure is a lot of work, and it's a lot of growth."

• "If you're out there and you're married and you need some encouragement, pick up Karen's book."

Connect with Karen:

• Website: www.karenhyden.com

• Book: Back to Hope: A Memoir About Finding Meaning and Healing Through Surrender

Dr. Karen Hyden, PhD, MSN/Ed, APN-BC, ACHPN, is a double board-certified nurse practitioner and founder of an integrative wellness practice for women. She blends functional medicine, emotional healing, and Christian counseling to help women heal body, spirit, and soul.

A national healthcare leader and the author of Back to Hope: A Memoir About Finding Meaning and Healing Through Surrender, Dr. Hyden draws from both personal experience and decades of clinical expertise. Through her signature framework and faith-based approach, she helps women discover purpose, identity, and wholeness rooted in Scripture.

Connect with Kara:

• Website: ⁠https://www.steppinginwithkara.com
• Patreon: patreon.com/KaraStoltenberg
• Newsletter: ⁠https://www.karastoltenberg.com/subscribe⁠
• Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/steppinginwithkara⁠
• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/karastoltenberg⁠
  

In this deeply moving episode, Kara sits down with Jessica Fein, author of the book Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams and Broken Genes to explore the profound depths of love and loss she has experienced. Jessica shares her journey of building a family through adoption, experiencing the heartbreaking loss of her entire family of origin while navigating a degenerative disease process in her daughter Dalia, which eventually took her life at 17.   But this is not a story defined only by grief. It's a story of love, resilience, and the power of family bonds. The two talk about how she and her family navigate the complexities of grief while still embracing the beauty of life. They discuss the power of resilience, the importance of cherishing every moment, and the strength that can be found in love, even amidst unimaginable sorrow. This episode is a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit and will leave you feeling inspired and hopeful, even in the face of life's greatest challenges.

Highlights:

• The family tried to create a sense of stability through Dalia’s medical journey so that it did not define everything. Jessica chose to continue working to create a sense of routine and identity in such an intense caregiving situation.

• The armor of a to-do list or a focus on what we're gonna do to fix this isn’t always what is needed. Sometimes we have to sit in the sadness.

• Life keeps Life-ing. There is no pause button when you are going through extremely hard circumstances (and you feel like you need one)

• Finding ways to communicate and connect with loved ones who are not with us anymore

• Grievers in general feel guilt about a lot of things but it really is ok to be decimated and to hold a sense of joy. It’s both-and. 

Quotes:

• "My story is first and foremost a love story. And there is a ton of loss."

• "The book really is about Dalia's life. It is not about her death."

• "When we talk about loss, I am way more familiar with it than I ever wanted to be. And the flip side of that is the love that I have been fortunate enough to have throughout my life which has made those losses that much more painful."

• “There's always something good and normalizing when people can relate. But I also don't want to be, as Lisa Keefauer says, “a grief thief”... This is their story and I don't want to be like, ‘Well, let me tell you about mine.’”

Connect with Jessica:

• Website: https://www.jessicafeinstories.com/
• Book: Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes
• Podcast: I Don’t Know How You Do It
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feinjessica
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessica.fein.92/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-fein-b643b09/

Jessica Fein hosts the "I Don't Know How You Do It" podcast, featuring conversations with people whose lives seem unimaginable and who often hear that very thing. Her writing, which explores grief, resilience, and the unbreakable bonds of family, has appeared in The New York Times, Psychology Today, Newsweek, The Boston Globe, HuffPost, Scary Mommy, and other leading publications. Her work encompasses hope and humor, grit and grace – the tools that make up her personal survival kit. Jessica Fein writes the Grace in Grief column for Psychology Today and is a TEDx Speaker on Grief Literacy. 

Connect with Kara:

• Website: ⁠https://www.steppinginwithkara.com
• Patreon: patreon.com/KaraStoltenberg
• Newsletter: ⁠https://www.karastoltenberg.com/subscribe⁠
• Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/steppinginwithkara⁠
• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/karastoltenberg⁠

In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Kara reconnects with her childhood friend, Tim Moylan, to share his incredible story of overcoming alcoholism and finding a new lease on life. Tim opens up about his struggles with addiction, his near-death experience, and the long, challenging, but ultimately rewarding journey to sobriety. From the normalized drinking culture of his youth to the depths of despair and depression and the ultimate turning point, Tim's story is one of resilience, hope, and the power of self-love.

Highlights:

• Discover how one man's near-fatal health crisis became a catalyst for profound change.

• Explore the silent struggles men face with mental health and depression and the courage it takes to seek help.

• The emotional impact of facing his own mortality and the decision to change.

• See how Tim's life transcends the label of "alcoholic" and embraces a future filled with possibility.

• The unwavering support of his wife and siblings during his recovery.

Quotes:

• "It was a dark life before that happened with alcoholism, and I didn't know what I was doing. You know, I was so consumed with the alcohol that it took over my mind."
• "I knew something was wrong, but I wanted to blame it on anxiety."
• "I was tired of living a dark life."
• "I was so consumed with the alcohol that it took over my mind."

About Tim:

Timothy Harold Moylan is a journeyman electrician, wind technician, and now proud small business owner of Shelby Paint and Hardware ACE in Shelby, Montana. With over two decades of experience in the trades and a deep commitment to personal growth, Tim brings grit, honesty, and heart to everything he does. Born in Omaha and raised in rural Nebraska, he’s the youngest of seven and a devoted husband to Kayla and father to two young daughters, Elizabeth and Camilla. Tim’s journey, from wiring projects across the country to overcoming personal battles with addiction, speaks to resilience, redemption, and the power of choosing a new path.

Connect with Kara:

• Website: ⁠https://www.steppinginwithkara.com
• Patreon: patreon.com/KaraStoltenberg
• Newsletter: ⁠https://www.karastoltenberg.com/subscribe⁠
• Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/steppinginwithkara⁠
• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/karastoltenberg⁠

In this deeply moving episode, Kara welcomes Annie Sklaver Orenstein, author of Always a Sibling: A Guide for Grieving and Honoring Your Sibling, to discuss her experience of sibling loss and grief. Fifteen years after the tragic death of her brother Ben, who was killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan, Annie shares her personal journey of navigating the complex emotions and challenges that accompany this unique type of loss. Drawing on her own experiences and interviews with other siblings who have lost loved ones, Annie offers invaluable and honest insights into the grieving process. This episode offers a heartfelt glimpse into the complexities of sibling relationships, the unique challenges of grieving a sibling, and the power of finding connection and hope amidst profound loss. If you have experienced the loss of a sibling, or if you are seeking to understand and support someone who has, this episode offers solace, insight, and a path toward healing.

Highlights:

• The importance of sibling bonds and the often overlooked impact of sibling loss.

• The challenges of navigating grief in a society that often prioritizes "moving on" and the importance of honoring individual grieving processes.

• Common misconceptions and unhelpful platitudes surrounding grief, and how to offer genuine support to those who are grieving.

• Exploring anger and guilt as a part of grief.

• Identity shift that happens with the loss of a sibling.

• Annie's insights into the different ways that people grieve and the importance of honoring individual needs and preferences.

• The power of remembrance and the many ways to honor the memory of loved ones.

• Gain insights into the challenges of finding adequate support and resources specifically tailored to sibling loss.

• Moving on doesn’t mean letting go of the person you love.

Quotes:

• "People tell you lies when you're mourning."

• "There are a lot of things that happen in our lives that are never going to be okay."

• "You want your parents to be able to take care of you...and they can't do that now."

• “I think a lot of guilt comes from a misguided desire for control.”

Episode Resources:

• Book: ⁠ Moving On Doesn't Mean letting Go: by Gina Moffa, LCSW

Connect with Annie:

• Book: ALWAYS A SIBLING: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief 

Annie Sklaver Orenstein is a qualitative researcher, oral historian, and storyteller who has spent over a decade collecting stories from people around the world. Her work has been featured on NBC Nightly News,Comedy Central, Huffington Post, Politico, TIME, and Mother.ly. In 2020, driven by a desire to share these stories beyond the walls of corporate America, Annie founded Dispatch from Daybreak, a collection of letters written by women to their earlier selves. She lives in Connecticut with her husband, children, dog, and chickens.

Connect with Kara:

• Website: ⁠https://www.steppinginwithkara.com
• Patreon: patreon.com/KaraStoltenberg
• Newsletter: ⁠https://www.karastoltenberg.com/subscribe⁠
• Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/steppinginwithkara⁠
• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/karastoltenberg⁠

In this insightful episode, Kara connects with life coach and business consultant Ryan Spence to explore the journey of finding true fulfillment in all areas of life. Ryan shares his personal quest for deeper meaning and satisfaction, from navigating a challenging childhood to achieving external success, and ultimately discovering the importance of honoring his inner self. This conversation delves into the complexities of self-love, the power of setting boundaries, and the courage it takes to align with your authentic desires. Join Kara and Ryan as they discuss how to shift from seeking validation outside of yourself to cultivating a deep sense of inner peace and fulfillment.

Highlights:

• Ryan's definition of fulfillment: a sense of inner peace without needing external validation.

• The influence of Ryan's childhood experiences, including his parents' divorce and his mother's mental health challenges, on his quest for fulfillment.

• How Ryan's early drive to avoid settling and achieve success fueled his personal growth journey.

• The role of spiritual awakening in Ryan's shift towards inner fulfillment.

• Ryan and Kara touch on anxious attachment, codependency and patterns from childhood showing up in his external seeking of fulfillment through dating

• Reframing the concept of "selfishness" as a positive act of self-care and boundary setting.

• The challenge of balancing thoughtfulness towards others with prioritizing one's own well-being.

• Beautiful conversation contrasting experience from the perspective of masculine/feminine people pleasing tendencies

• The complexities of navigating cultural conversations around gender and equality while staying true to one's authentic self.

• I need to Do dating differently, I always focused on making the  other person happy because I thought that’s what a good relationship looked like (not honoring me…. Learning self love and self worth allowed me to make a shift)

• The significance of digesting and processing emotions from past experiences for personal healing and growth.

• The distinction between identifying emotions intellectually and experiencing them physically.

• Ryan's insights on navigating anger and sadness, and the connection between anger, boundaries, and passion.

Quotes:

• "If we have true fulfillment...we're pretty grounded and rock solid in our own reality."

• "Are we being thoughtful because we feel like we need to...or are we being thoughtful because we...want to, and we're resourced enough...to do that?"

• "Anger is feedback that our boundary is being crossed."

• "We really have to have this fulfillment from the inside of ourselves as opposed to trying to get it with how much money we get or how many clients we have or whatever title we have."

Connect with Ryan:

• Website: https://www.ryanspencecoaching.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanspencecoaching

Ryan is a life coach and business consultant. He helps you go from feeling stuck and unmotivated to finding true fulfillment and satisfaction in your life, career or business. He accomplishes this through: helping you get clear on the vision of what you REALLY want, co-creating bite sized steps to get there and feeling supported along the journey!

Connect with Kara:

• Website: ⁠https://www.steppinginwithkara.com
• Patreon: patreon.com/KaraStoltenberg
• Newsletter: ⁠https://www.karastoltenberg.com/subscribe⁠
• Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/steppinginwithkara⁠
• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/karastoltenberg⁠