Struggling with memories. An emotional return. PTSD? People living with dignity and grace. An intimate conversation with myself.

Radiation continues radiating long after the treatments end. Learning hard lessons. The power of declaring health. Paying tribute to the body. Experiencing the future. Making direct contact with Spirit. How I recognize It. I am feeling like I don’t belong anywhere.

A specific strategy that works. Fear is just another form of cancer. Pray big and bold because God is Love. Don’t listen to the Liar Dude. Face the light.

The double amputee. Conversations at the Hope Lodge. I have to protect myself from negative energy and weak people. I’m losing my hearing but gaining perspective. The disease is devouring one of my new friends. How to deal with worse case scenarios.

Staying in the fight. I can’t give it an inch. Managing pain and the mind. Creating a positive spiral. Navigating the opiates. The amazing healing powers of aloe. The healing energy is accelerating.

Getting into the Hope Lodge living facility. An interesting mix-up. The Hope Lodge is a place of healing. I think I need a feeding tube. Getting into the grind of things. Another lesson in surrender.

4 weeks in and 3 to go. Physical changes are happening.
Fatigue is setting in, my neck has radiation burns and the worst “strep” throat ever. Trying to manage pain and symptoms. Getting deep lessons on self worth, self love and self acceptance. "I AM."

The relationship between trust and surrender. There is no partial surrender. We have helpers on the “other side.” Answered prayers everywhere. Surrender and let the magic happen…because it will. Everything is going my way

Meeting and engaging others with cancer. They are all heroes and inspirations. The importance of my bother to my healing. I wouldn’t exchange having the pain of the disease for the benefit of the lessons.

But the pain is starting. I have nothing to complain about. Support from the AA community. My mind is slipping. A new treatment to prevent mouth sores. The symptoms increase. Pain management the details matter.