Episode Summary – “Who Told You That You Needed Permission?”

In this episode of Still Becoming, I explore a question that has been quietly shaping so many of our lives: Who told us we needed permission to believe in ourselves? Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that confidence wasn’t something we could simply have. Instead, we began believing it had to be earned through accomplishments, perfection, or the approval of others. We wait until we’ve proven enough before allowing ourselves to dream bigger, speak confidently, or believe we’re capable of something extraordinary.

I share how this has shown up in my own marathon journey. As I continue training toward ambitious goals, there are moments when I genuinely believe I can achieve something I’ve never done before. But almost immediately, another voice appears telling me not to get ahead of myself, not to be arrogant, and not to believe that someone like me deserves a dream that big. I’ve realized those thoughts aren’t based on my physical ability—they’re based on a story I’ve carried for years.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that confidence and arrogance are not the same thing. Arrogance says you’re better than everyone else. Confidence simply says you believe you’re capable of becoming the person you’re working so hard to be. Too often, we shrink ourselves because we’re afraid of how others might perceive our ambition. We apologize for our dreams before we’ve even given ourselves a chance to pursue them.

The truth is that many of us aren’t actually waiting for permission from other people anymore—we’re waiting for permission from ourselves. We tell ourselves we’ll finally believe once we lose weight, gain experience, run faster, make more money, or reach some imaginary milestone. But every time we reach one goal, our minds simply move the finish line again. The confidence we were hoping would arrive never does because certainty was never the missing piece.

Running has reminded me that confidence cannot depend on the last workout, the last race, or someone else’s opinion. Some days I feel unstoppable, and other days doubt tries to convince me I don’t belong. The circumstances haven’t changed—only the story I’m telling myself has. Real confidence isn’t something we feel every day. It’s a decision we continue making, even when fear is loud.

I close the episode by inviting listeners to ask themselves one simple question: Who are you waiting on? Maybe the permission you’ve been searching for has been in your hands all along. You don’t need to wait until you’re fearless or perfect before believing in yourself. Believe before you’re certain. Keep showing up before you have all the answers. You’re still becoming, and that’s exactly why you deserve to keep moving forward.

In this episode of Still Becoming, I explore a feeling I have struggled to put into words: I feel confidence growing inside me, but I am not always sure I am allowed to have it.

The confidence is there. I feel it when I complete a difficult workout, when I reflect on everything I have overcome, when I write something meaningful, or when I imagine what I may still be capable of accomplishing. There are moments when I truly believe in myself and feel proud of the person I am becoming.

But almost immediately, another voice appears.

That voice questions whether I have earned the right to feel confident. It warns me not to get ahead of myself. It reminds me of past failures, difficult races, unfinished workouts, and people who may be more accomplished than I am. It makes me worry that confidence will sound like arrogance or that believing in myself will make failure more painful.

I have realized that this is not simply a lack of confidence. It is a struggle with permission.

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being proud was dangerous. We may have been taught not to brag, not to take up too much space, or not to celebrate ourselves too openly. Maybe we were criticized when we became excited or reminded of everything that could go wrong. Over time, confidence stopped feeling safe.

Because of that, we often soften our pride with disclaimers. We say we are proud, but immediately explain why the accomplishment was not that impressive. We acknowledge that we are talented, but quickly point out how far we still have to go. We shrink ourselves before anyone else gets the chance.

This shows up strongly in my running. I can recognize my discipline, experience, resilience, and potential, yet still believe I need a future result before I am allowed to trust myself. But confidence is not certainty. It does not mean I know I will succeed, never struggle, or always perform well. Confidence means I trust myself enough to move forward without knowing exactly what will happen.

Real confidence is not believing that I will never fall. It is knowing that falling will not erase me.

A bad race does not erase my ability. A difficult workout does not erase my progress. Someone else’s success does not reduce my value. Fear, disappointment, aging, or failure do not take away everything I have built.

Confidence and humility can exist together. Arrogance needs to feel superior, while confidence simply recognizes personal worth. Real confidence can be quiet. It can mean showing up again, accepting a compliment, sharing something without insulting it first, or believing you belong before the world officially approves of you.

I am still learning how to hold confidence without apologizing for it. I am learning that I can be afraid and still believe in myself. I can remain humble without becoming small. I can pursue something extraordinary without feeling ashamed of wanting it.

I do not need permission from my past, from strangers, or from a future result.

I am allowed to believe in myself.

And so are you.

Still Becoming: Together — “Balance”

In this episode of Still Becoming: Together, Bobby and Rachel sit down for an honest conversation about balance—how to pursue personal goals, raise a family, care for a relationship, manage work, and still make room for yourself. Rather than presenting balance as something that can be perfected, they describe it as an ongoing process of adjusting expectations, managing energy, and accepting that different seasons require different approaches.

The conversation begins with Rachel’s recent work trip to Las Vegas. While she was away, Bobby managed the children, the dogs, the household, his work, and demanding half-marathon training. He continued waking around four in the morning, completing physical-therapy exercises and workouts lasting up to ninety minutes, and helping his son prepare for a 5K. Although he completed everything that needed to be done, he was emotionally and physically exhausted by the end of the weekend.

Looking back, Bobby realizes that much of the pressure came from expecting himself to do more than simply get through the weekend. He wanted the children to have an amazing time, wanted every workout to go perfectly, and wanted to manage every responsibility without struggling. This leads to an important question: when life is unusually demanding, could a “B-level” performance actually deserve to be considered an “A”?

Rachel emphasizes the importance of realistic expectations. When the children were toddlers, an uninterrupted hour-long workout was not always possible. Exercise might have meant ten minutes here, fifteen minutes there, or doing sit-ups beside a baby during tummy time. The solution was not waiting for ideal conditions, but becoming creative and accepting that the season would not last forever.

They also discuss how balance looks different for each person. Bobby prefers completing his training early and in one focused block. Rachel is more comfortable spreading movement throughout the day and adapting when plans change. One person may dedicate most of their energy to running and use short strength sessions for maintenance, while another may focus on several shorter workouts throughout the week. Neither approach is wrong. Balance sometimes means choosing what matters most and allowing other areas to receive less attention temporarily.

The conversation also explores aging and identity. Bobby explains that he no longer wants to measure himself against who he was at twenty or thirty. His life is different now, and he would rather focus on the potential of his future self than constantly chase a younger version of himself. Growth is not always linear, and the expectation that we must continually improve without setbacks is unrealistic.

Ultimately, Bobby and Rachel remind listeners that they are ordinary people learning through real responsibilities, frustration, fatigue, and imperfect results. Balance takes patience, flexibility, creativity, communication, and sometimes a moment to stop, breathe, and reset. It does not mean performing every role perfectly. It means doing what you can with the time and energy available, learning from each season, and continuing to move forward.

You are still becoming—and sometimes the only thing stopping you is the belief that you must have everything perfectly balanced before you begin.

The Fitness Is Still There
In this episode, Bobby reflects on a recent workout that did not go as planned. His body felt flat, the pace was not there, and he could not find the sharpness or rhythm he expected. Normally, a workout like this might trigger a full mental spiral. One bad session can quickly become a story about lost fitness, aging, failure, or fear that all the work has been for nothing.
This time, however, something was different.
Although Bobby was disappointed, he stayed mentally steadier than he has in the past. He did not immediately allow the workout to become proof that everything was going wrong. That became an important realization: progress is not only measured through pace, splits, and completed workouts. Sometimes progress is shown in the way a person responds when things do not go well.
After reviewing the workout, Bobby’s coach explained that the fitness was still there. The issue appeared to be more neuromuscular than aerobic. In simple terms, the engine had not disappeared, but the connection between the brain and the muscles needed to be sharpened again. After months of mileage and steady work, the body needed reminders of how to move quickly, smoothly, and confidently.
That is why short repetitions and strides are being added back into training. They are not punishment for a failed workout, and they are not evidence that everything must be rebuilt. They are reminders.
This idea becomes the larger theme of the episode.
People often assume that when something feels difficult, they have lost the ability entirely. A writer misses time and believes they are no longer creative. A parent struggles and believes they are failing. A person feels disconnected from something they once loved and assumes that part of them is gone.
But sometimes the strength, passion, skill, or confidence is still present beneath fatigue, stress, fear, and disrupted routines. It may not need a complete transformation. It may simply need a chance to reconnect.
Bobby also explores the difference between paying attention and panicking. Paying attention says that something felt off and deserves curiosity. Panic turns one difficult moment into a permanent verdict. Curiosity asks what happened, what the body needs, and whether the issue is truly a pattern or only one day.
The episode emphasizes that a bad workout is information, not an identity. “The workout went badly” is a fact. “I am a failure” is an insult added by fear.
True confidence may not mean believing everything will always go well. It may mean trusting that when things do go wrong, you will not abandon yourself. You will listen, adjust, practice, rest when necessary, and return.
The final message is simple: one difficult day cannot erase months or years of work. The fitness, strength, and passion may still be there. Before deciding that something is gone, offer yourself a small reminder and enough patience to believe in it again.

This week reminded me that growth isn’t always obvious, and sometimes the hardest part of pursuing a goal is trusting the process when the evidence seems to suggest otherwise.
I recently had one of the most frustrating workouts I’ve experienced in a long time. I felt healthy, relaxed, and ready to run faster, but every time I tried to accelerate, my pace barely changed. I wasn’t exhausted, injured, or struggling to breathe—I simply couldn’t find another gear. As the workout continued, frustration turned into doubt. My mind immediately began creating stories: Maybe I’m getting older. Maybe I’ve lost my speed. Maybe the months of training aren’t working. It’s amazing how quickly one difficult day can make us question everything we’ve been building.
When I spoke with my coach afterward, I expected him to focus on the pace or the disappointing splits. Instead, he wasn’t concerned with a single workout at all. He was interested in the pattern my body had been showing over weeks and months of consistent training. That simple shift in perspective reminded me that experienced people don’t judge progress by one moment. They look at the bigger picture.
I realized how often we all make this mistake, not only in running but in every area of life. We judge our relationships by one argument, our careers by one setback, our parenting by one difficult day, or our personal growth by one frustrating experience. We live so close to our own lives that we often mistake temporary struggles for permanent realities. It’s like standing inches away from a painting—you only see individual brushstrokes. When you step back, you finally recognize the complete picture.
Running has taught me that real progress is built through ordinary, often uneventful days. Most workouts aren’t magical. Most days don’t feel like breakthroughs. They’re simply opportunities to show up, do the work, recover, and repeat. Over time, those ordinary days begin to stack together, forming a pattern that quietly reveals growth long before our emotions recognize it.
The lesson I continue to learn is that moments are loud, but patterns tell the truth. A bad workout doesn’t erase months of consistent training any more than one difficult day defines who we are. Our emotions naturally react to what’s happening right now, but lasting progress is found by zooming out and trusting the bigger story that’s being written.
If you’re in a season where your efforts don’t seem to be paying off, I hope you’ll resist the urge to judge your future by today’s circumstances. Keep showing up. Keep doing the small things well. Keep trusting the process even when the results haven’t appeared yet. Growth often happens quietly before it becomes visible. The life you’re trying to build isn’t determined by one moment—it’s revealed through the pattern of faithful, consistent days that eventually become impossible to ignore.

This week’s episode of Still Becoming is about something many of us experience but rarely talk about—the frustration of improving without feeling like we’re improving.

I share how this week’s training left me questioning myself. During a workout of 600-meter repeats, I found myself constantly fighting the pace. I knew I was capable of running it, but instead of settling into a rhythm, I kept starting too slow, speeding up, and feeling like every repetition was the first time I’d ever run that pace. The frustration wasn’t because I couldn’t do it—it was because I thought it should feel easier by now.

That experience made me realize how often we confuse discomfort with failure.

We tend to believe that once we’ve reached a new level, it should always feel natural. But growth rarely works that way. Sometimes our bodies have adapted before our minds have. Sometimes our fitness is ahead of our confidence, and we mistake unfamiliarity for regression.

I also talk about feeling flat since my recent 5K race. Not injured. Not exhausted. Just missing that spark. It’s easy to compare today’s feelings with how fresh I felt a month ago and convince myself that something is wrong. But my coach reminded me that we’re not trying to peak right now. The purpose of training isn’t to feel amazing every day—it’s to build toward something bigger. Carrying high mileage means I’m supposed to feel a little heavy. That’s part of the process.

This led me to reflect on how social media often gives us a distorted picture of progress. We see highlight reels of breakthrough workouts and personal bests, but real improvement is usually much quieter. It’s built through ordinary days stacked together over weeks and months. Most of training isn’t exciting. It’s simply showing up, doing the work, recovering, and repeating.

Another lesson from this week was recognizing my tendency to overanalyze every workout. Looking at splits, pace, and every detail can become another form of anxiety rather than a tool for improvement. My coach reminded me that professional athletes don’t spend all day searching for certainty. They trust their training, live their lives, and return the next day ready to work again. That’s the mindset I’m striving for—not obsession, but commitment.

Finally, I encourage listeners to think about this beyond running. Whether you’re building a career, strengthening relationships, improving your health, or chasing a personal dream, meaningful progress often feels slow and ordinary while you’re living it. Confidence doesn’t always come before success. More often, confidence grows by looking back and realizing how many difficult days you kept showing up for.

The episode closes with a simple reminder: don’t confuse unfamiliar with impossible. Sometimes growth feels awkward because you’re living at a level you’ve never lived before. Instead of asking, “Why doesn’t this feel easier?” ask, “What does today require of me?” Trust the pattern, keep showing up, and remember that extraordinary results are almost always built through ordinary, consistent days.

Nina's band instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ninainthelibrary?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

Still Becoming: Finding Your Voice with Nina from Nina and the Library

In this episode of Still Becoming, Bobby welcomes Nina, lead singer of Nina and the Library, for an honest conversation about creativity, vulnerability, and what it means to pursue a passion later in life. What begins as a discussion about music quickly becomes a deeper exploration of identity, self-belief, and the courage required to follow a dream when there are no guarantees.

Nina shares how music has been part of her life since childhood. From singing Disney songs for family gatherings with a turkey baster as a microphone to taking voice lessons in high school, the desire to perform was always there. Yet despite her love for singing, she spent much of her life focused on other pursuits, including competitive athletics as a volleyball player. Looking back, she realizes that the creative side of herself never disappeared—it was simply waiting for the right season to emerge.

Throughout the conversation, Nina speaks openly about the fear that comes with performing in front of others. Whether singing karaoke, stepping on stage, or joining a band, she has had to confront self-doubt, criticism, and the inner voice that tells people they are not good enough. She explains that confidence isn’t something that magically appears before you begin; it develops through repeated action, uncomfortable moments, and a willingness to keep showing up despite fear.

Bobby relates many of these experiences to his own journey as a runner, coach, author, and podcast host. Together they discuss how easy it is to become attached to outcomes, audience reactions, race performances, or public recognition. Both acknowledge the temptation to look too far into the future instead of focusing on the next step directly in front of them. They agree that meaningful growth happens when people learn to enjoy the process rather than constantly chasing validation.

The conversation repeatedly returns to the importance of asking “why.” Nina emphasizes that pursuing a passion must come from an internal desire rather than external applause. Whether performing for a packed room or practicing alone, the work has to matter even when nobody is watching. Bobby echoes this sentiment, sharing how identifying as a podcaster still feels vulnerable and uncomfortable at times, yet remains something he continues to pursue because of the deeper meaning it holds.

Another powerful theme is inspiration. Nina credits much of her confidence to the encouragement she received from her grandmother, whose belief in her abilities helped plant the seeds for her creative journey. She also discusses how inspiration can come from unexpected places—family, friends, mentors, and even ordinary people who are willing to take chances on themselves. Small acts of courage often inspire others to do the same.

By the end of the episode, listeners are reminded that passions do not come with expiration dates. Whether you’re starting a band, writing a book, running a marathon, or launching a podcast, every meaningful journey begins with small, imperfect steps. Growth is rarely glamorous, but it is always worth pursuing.

This episode is ultimately a celebration of becoming—of embracing vulnerability, trusting the process, and allowing yourself to grow into the person you were always capable of being.

In this episode of Still Becoming: Together, Bobby reflects on a recent race and the lessons he learned both before and during the event. While the race itself provided a result worth celebrating, the deeper story isn’t about the finish time. It’s about the weeks, months, and years of consistent effort that made that moment possible.

Bobby shares an honest look at the anxiety that often accompanies important moments in life. From restless thoughts before race day to the desire to control every variable, he discusses the struggle many of us face when we seek certainty in situations that are inherently uncertain. Whether it’s a race, a presentation, a difficult conversation, or a major life decision, the temptation to overthink and search for guarantees can quickly become exhausting.

Through his experience, Bobby explores a simple but powerful truth: growth rarely comes from heroic acts. More often, it comes from showing up consistently and doing the ordinary things well. The workouts, recovery runs, strength sessions, early mornings, and small daily choices may not feel exciting in the moment, but they are the foundation of meaningful progress.

The episode challenges the idea that success requires extraordinary effort or dramatic breakthroughs. Instead, Bobby argues that the most important improvements in life are often built through patience, repetition, and trust in the process. While social media and popular culture often celebrate overnight success stories, the reality is that lasting growth is usually the result of countless unseen moments of commitment.

Bobby also discusses the relationship between fear, confidence, and action. He reminds listeners that courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to move forward despite it. Confidence doesn’t always come before taking action; many times it develops afterward, as evidence accumulates that our efforts are paying off.

One of the central themes of the episode is the idea that we don’t need to be heroes. We don’t need to have all the answers, eliminate all our doubts, or perform perfectly in order to make progress. We simply need to continue taking the next step. Whether the goal is improving health, strengthening relationships, pursuing a dream, or overcoming a personal challenge, consistency remains one of the most powerful tools available to us.

Ultimately, this conversation serves as an encouragement for anyone who feels overwhelmed, discouraged, or stuck. Progress is often slower and less dramatic than we would like, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. The small actions we repeat day after day have a way of shaping our future in ways we may not immediately see.

As Bobby reminds us, we’re all works in progress. We’re all learning, growing, and becoming. And sometimes the most remarkable thing we can do is simply keep showing up.

Because you don’t have to be the hero.

You just have to keep going.

Still Becoming Instagram:open.spotify.com/show/1RzqA3se8Q6nigT3oxvqGu?si=MJ52oIPgTi2wWh2gxjCSvQ + 3

Episode Summary: My Anxiety

In this solo episode of Still Becoming, Bobby opens up about a difficult week of anxiety and overwhelm that stemmed not from a lack of motivation, but from having too much of it. As an upcoming race approached and training continued to go well, he found himself diving deeper into coaching theories, training methodologies, books, social media content, and the endless pursuit of becoming a better athlete. What began as excitement and curiosity slowly evolved into mental exhaustion.

Bobby reflects on how easy it is for a healthy passion to become something that consumes every thought. Whether it was researching Norwegian training methods, reading Marius Bakken’s work, or searching for the next one-percent improvement, he found himself constantly thinking about running. Even during moments that should have been restful, his mind remained occupied with training, recovery, and performance. The more information he consumed, the more scattered and overwhelmed he became.

As the week unfolded, warning signs began to appear. Sleep quality declined. Anxiety increased. Focus became more difficult. Simple tasks felt heavier than they should have. Most importantly, Bobby realized that he was no longer able to mentally step away from the thing he loved most. Every conversation, every spare moment, and every thought seemed to circle back to running and improvement.

Through honest self-reflection, Bobby discusses an important truth: not all addictions are unhealthy at first. Sometimes they begin as positive habits, passions, and goals. But when those pursuits begin to dominate our thoughts and take away our peace, they can become harmful. The issue wasn’t running itself. The issue was his inability to stop thinking about running.

Recognizing this, Bobby made a decision to step away from the constant flow of information. For several days he avoided social media, YouTube, and training research. He still ran and followed his training plan, but he stopped consuming content related to it. What happened next surprised him. His sleep improved. His mind became calmer. His overall sense of well-being returned. Most importantly, he remembered why he started running in the first place: because he genuinely enjoys it.

Throughout the episode, Bobby emphasizes that success does not come from constantly searching for more answers. Sometimes growth comes from trusting the process, doing the work, and allowing yourself to simply enjoy the journey. He encourages listeners to examine their own passions and ask whether they are enhancing their lives or creating unnecessary stress.

The episode concludes with a reminder that taking a break doesn’t mean giving up. It doesn’t mean abandoning your goals or lowering your standards. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is step back, quiet the noise, and reconnect with what truly matters. Do the run. Enjoy the workout. Spend time with family. Let your effort be enough.

Because in the end, you’re still becoming—and you’re the only one stopping you.

Jim Logan Instagram handle: https://www.instagram.com/stage42025?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

Jim's website: https://justkeeptri-ing.com/

In this episode of Still Becoming, host Bobby Olivera sits down with endurance athlete and author Jim Logan for a powerful conversation about resilience, purpose, and redefining life after a stage four cancer diagnosis. Jim shares how, despite being diagnosed with terminal cancer in April 2024, he refused to stop living. Instead of surrendering to fear, he chose to pursue some of the biggest goals of his life: qualifying for the Ironman World Championship in Kona, writing a book titled Just Keep Trying, and inspiring others facing hardship.

Jim explains that before cancer, he was already deeply involved in triathlon culture. Influenced by his marathon-running father and inspired by the early days of Ironman racing, he spent decades training, racing, and building a disciplined lifestyle around endurance sports. At 59, he was healthy, lean, and competing at a high level when doctors unexpectedly diagnosed him with stage four cancer. The news devastated him emotionally, especially when he had to tell his wife, son, and family. He admits the first six months were mentally brutal, filled with fear and uncertainty, even though he continued racing and training through chemotherapy.

Eventually, Jim experienced a mindset shift. Instead of preparing to die, he decided to fully live. That realization became the foundation for his book and his mission moving forward. He talks about how training for triathlons gave him the mental toughness to handle chemotherapy, surgeries, and recovery. Since his diagnosis, he has undergone dozens of chemotherapy sessions, radiation treatments, and major surgeries, including the removal of portions of his colon and liver. Yet through it all, he has continued to train and work toward racing in Kona.

The conversation focuses heavily on the philosophy behind “still becoming.” Bobby and Jim both emphasize that growth and transformation do not stop with age. They discuss how ordinary people often relate more to stories of perseverance than elite athletic performances. Jim believes endurance sports teach lessons that apply directly to life: discipline, consistency, suffering with purpose, and refusing to quit even when progress is slow.

Jim also speaks candidly about how cancer humbled him. Once fiercely independent, he learned the importance of allowing others to help him. He describes becoming more emotional, more appreciative of relationships, and more focused on service rather than achievement. His current mission includes raising money for the Ironman Foundation and using his story to encourage others battling illness, aging, or self-doubt.

Throughout the episode, both men stress the importance of simply starting. Whether someone wants to walk around the block, train for a 5K, or pursue a lifelong dream, the message remains the same: progress begins by taking small steps and continuing to try. Jim repeatedly returns to the phrase “just keep trying,” which became both the title of his book and the central theme of his life.

The episode closes with a reminder that becoming never ends. No matter someone’s age or circumstances, there is always room for growth, purpose, and transformation.