Stonebrook Church, Ames, Iowa, Sermons

In our day, fewer people are getting married and those who do still have close to a 50% divorce rate. Is it possible for a marriage to not just survive but actually thrive? What are the principles and practices that make for a healthy, growing, and fulfilling marriage? Today, Dave Bovenmyer will give three practices, gained from He and Dawn’s experience in 43 years of marriage, that can help any marriage relationship grow and overflow with passion and joy: 1) Make God the center, 2) Work at marriage, and 3) Work on yourself.

(Download this manuscript and discussion questions (PDF format, Word format) Today we are going to talk about forgiveness. Probably one of the most central concepts to the entire Christian faith. The very core of the message of Christianity is a restored relationship between the creator God and the capstone of his creation: mankind. The key to that restored relationship, restored fellowship, is the act of divine forgiveness of our sin and rebellion. That forgiveness was costly. God, the Father, gave […]

(Download this manuscript and discussion questions (PDF format, Word format)

Today we are going to talk about forgiveness. Probably one of the most central concepts to the entire Christian faith. The very core of the message of Christianity is a restored relationship between the creator God and the capstone of his creation: mankind. The key to that restored relationship, restored fellowship, is the act of divine forgiveness of our sin and rebellion. That forgiveness was costly.

God, the Father, gave his only son Jesus to pay that cost. It is right to say that God gave himself up for us. Our sin had incurred a cost. He paid that cost because we could not.

And he tells us to imitate him, to emulate him, to have this same charitable and merciful, self-sacrificial attitude toward one another.

I wonder this morning, how many of us in here are harboring resentment, withhold forgiveness from someone who has asked for it? Why is this hard for us?

If you tend to find the topic of forgiveness to be tricky, if you find it maybe even a little offensive, if you look for loopholes and boundaries on forgiveness, if you focus on fairness and reparation, you’re not alone. Peter had a hard time with this teaching as well.

Matthew 18:21–35 (ESV)

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Wow. That was a pretty stern warning to Peter’s question on the limitations to forgiveness.

“Seven times” seems to have been an extravagant guess to Peter. Jesus multiplied it. Jesus tells Peter that the way of the kingdom of heaven is much, much more than this.

The servant owed the king 200,000 years wages! A virtual eternity of debt. The king took pity, had mercy, and released the servant from the debt.

Immediately after this, the ungrateful servant (who represents the part in Peter’s heart that wants to limit forgiveness) threatens to kill his fellow servant over 100 days wages. Unbelievable to us!

The merciful king finds out about this and hands the wicked servant over to the torturer until he could pay off his debt. (I’ve wondered how someone might work off their debt while in jail being tortured…)

Jesus says that this is an illustration of our fate if we withhol…

Conflict in relationships seems unavoidable, but we don’t have to stay there. God offers wisdom and power to be peacemakers, which can include lovingly and gently confronting others for their sin, with the goal of restoring the relationship.

Five weeks ago, we finished a sermon series on Philippians.

Philippians is a very personal, warm, tenderhearted letter. Yet even in this letter, we find conflict. Two women.

Philippians 4:2–3 ESV “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel…”

We don’t know what the dispute was about. But Paul calls them out in a letter to the church to get along. To agree. These are two godly women. Paul says, “They have worked by my side in the gospel.”

The dispute was so obvious, so prolonged—perhaps hurting the whole church—that Paul names them in a letter.

What if, in this sermon, I called out two of you to start getting along? I put your names on the screen behind me.

“Dear ________ and ________, please get along!”

And I called on you publicly to end your bitterness. Bickering. Backstabbing. Arguing.

That… is what Paul did in this letter that was written for and publicly read aloud to the entire church.

All of us at one time or another could have our names plastered in a letter from the Apostle Paul to all Christians throughout the ages. Every one of us have had—and perhaps do even this morning—conflicts with someone here at Stonebrook. Perhaps your spouse. A neighbor. We have been or are presently…bitter and annoyed. We have avoided eye contact. Or even are doing that today.

We are in Week 3 of a 4-part series through April. The series is based on Four Principles from a book, Peacemaker, by Ken Sande.

In this series, we are learning how to resolve conflict. Conflict is everywhere, and seems unavoidable. But God has answers. And he calls us to work it through in God-honoring ways.

Review Last Two Weeks

There are 3 ways to respond to conflict.

1. Escape. We run away. Leave the room. Give the silent treatment. Simply, we hope it goes away by itself.

2. Attack. We use our mouth, our actions, lawsuits, and even our fists to attack the other person. We are hurt. Angry. And we want payback.

3. Make peace. This doesn’t come too easily. This takes the power of the Holy Spirit.

God describes himself throughout the Bible as the God of peace. Satan wants chaos and war and fighting. God is simply after the beautiful quality of peace. Serenity. Harmony.

How do we do this? The four Principles of Peacemaking:

1. Glorify God

2. Get the log out

3. Gently restore

4. Go and be reconciled

The first two we’ve covered the past two Sundays. Both sermons and sermon manuscripts are available on Stonebrook’s website. The foundation laid there is crucial.

God’s passion for us is much more than simply tolerating one another. He calls on us to passionately love people.

1 Peter 1:22–23 ESV “… love one another earnestly from a pure heart…”

You’ve been born again. You are God’s children. God loves you with passion and fervency. Now, the obvious response is, go and love others with that passion.

What’s Next?

So what do we do?

We’re in the middle of a conflict. What do I do?

• I had an argument with my wife.

• My neighbor and I are in a dispute about his stupid barking dog.

• A co-worker embarrassed me in front of the entire office, and now I’m angry and not speaking to him. At least, nothing nice.

• My sibling and I had some terrible exchanges of hurtful words a few years ago, and we haven’t talked much since.

What do I do?

We work our way through the Principles we’ve learned so far.

First Principle:

1. Set our hearts on Glorifying God.

On honoring him. We’re not simply out to get our own way and to glorify ourselves. I’m not about getting even with my sibling. I’m not lasered in to prove my spouse is wrong and I’m right. I’m not determined to win at all costs with my neighbor. My highest desire is that God is honored.

1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV So, whet…

Conflict in relationships seems to come easy, but peace takes more effort through the power of God. Peace begins by humbly looking within our own hearts for our contribution to the conflict.

Finding conflict comes easy and is rooted in selfish desires. Making peace takes the grace of God and is rooted in a desire to glorify God and bring good to others. Blessing comes to those who strive for peace, for Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

Who was Jesus? News magazines and TV documentaries regularly publish trendy theories of who Jesus really was. Invariably, the theories reflect their authors’ own modern philosophies rather than a realistic portrayal of Jesus as He was known in His own first-century, very-Jewish world. Today we will look at Jesus from a unique perspective, that of the Hebrew prophets who wrote about Him 700 to 1,000 years prior to His birth. The crystal clear message of these prophets verifies who Jesus was—both the Anointed King of the Jews and the Suffering Servant of Jehovah, who died for our sins, rose from the dead, and awaits the proper moment to return and rule as King the world.

Baptism is one of the most important events and concepts in the Christian faith. Christians have understood baptism in several different ways throughout the centuries. At Stonebrook, we practice “believer’s baptism” as an expression and testimony of our new birth through faith in Christ. It is a command from Jesus, to be done by all who believe, as soon as possible after they believe. We will discuss the different understandings of baptism, what we believe and why, and who should be baptized and when!

Paul’s great passion was to live as a citizen of heaven in a manner that was worthy of the gospel, and he sought to live that way in every part of his life. His heart of contentment, joy, and unselfishness even in times of great need show us the heart of Christ.