Frustrated And Exhausted

Stop Calling Me Passionate - The Patronising of Women


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In this episode, I dive into a subtle but persistent form of gendered undermining in leadership—the “little girling” of women. Think of those times when a woman delivers a strategic, thoughtful point, but the response is “you’re so passionate!” or “I love your energy!” I break down how these words are used in place of truly acknowledging women’s expertise and authority, explores why language like this is damaging, and offers strategies for reframing, redirecting, and challenging such comments. I encourage listeners to recognise and resist this reductive behavior, and to find supportive allies and spaces where the issue can be openly discussed.

  • 00:01:52 — How these words replace descriptors of expertise and authority, casting women as cheerleaders rather than leaders.
  • 00:02:59 — The real-world consequences: erosion of credibility and trust.
  • 00:03:21 — How early messages and repeated framing make women internalize being “the keen girl,” leading to exhaustion and overthinking.
  • 00:04:08 — The emotional labor of being both passionate and visionary, and always fighting to be seen as more than just “energetic.”
  • 00:05:21 — Practical options: calling out the behavior, reframing, redirecting, or challenging; why context matters.
  • 00:06:31 — Bias is often unconscious and comes from all genders; tips to redirect or challenge skillfully.
  • 00:07:22 — The importance of circles of support where these dynamics can be named and understood.
  • 00:07:54 — There’s no “right” way to respond—awareness is the first step, and any response you choose is valid.
  • 00:08:54 — Emphasizing that women can be both passionate and expert—rejecting reductive labels.
  • 00:09:57 — Final thoughts: how to reclaim your narrative and respond on your own terms.

Want to share your story or thoughts? I would love to hear from you—reach out and be part of the conversation!



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Frustrated And ExhaustedBy Ruth Wood