Most of us were never taught how to ask for what we need — we were taught how to be nice, how to be agreeable, and how to silently hope the other person would just figure it out. And when they didn't, we either resented them or came in way too hot trying to make up for lost time.

In this very special episode, James unpacks interpersonal effectiveness — the DBT module that's less about managing yourself and more about navigating other people, which, let's be honest, is the hard part. He covers how to get clear on what you actually want from a conversation before you open your mouth (spoiler: most of us skip this step), and walks through Dear Man, a structured skill for asking for things clearly, directly, and kindly without being apologetic or aggressive.

This is episode seven of the DBT mini-season.

You'll come away with:

• A framework for identifying your real goal in any difficult conversation (objective, relationship, or self-respect — and why you can only pick one)
• A full walkthrough of the Dear Man skill with real examples
• A short practice exercise to apply it to one thing you've been avoiding

• Email: [email protected]

• Instagram: @friendlesspod

• TikTok: @friendlesspod

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