If you're a terrible problem solver, most likely your relationship is suffering.

I realized years ago; I was a bad problem solver. One of the first shifts I did was I started to seek solutions instead of focusing on the issue. Once I started doing that, I realized that there infinite possibilities open to me. I began to see choices. I realized I wasn't stuck.

I suffered from years of abuse and trauma; my nervous system was a wreck. I was always in flight or fight mode. I was trying to run from the problem or fight it, but not accept it and find a solution.

Start recognizing your perceived problems that seem to be on repeat. Call those problems by their real name, fear.

What are these problems you keep telling yourself? Why haven't you sought solutions?

When we start regularly talking about our problems with other people, we stay stuck where we are. When we complain about our partner to other people, they will take your side, and no solution will be found. All that does is keep you stuck in the problem.