Are you exhausted from trying to change your husband or wife? Do you feel like if they'd just listen, everything would be better? You're not alone—and you might be making it worse.

In this episode of Marriage Monthly, Gabe and Melissa sit down with longtime friends Max and Freda Calderon—married 28 years, blended family, and a story that almost didn't make it. They share the hard-won lessons that kept them together when giving up felt easier, and why the thing most of us do to "help" our spouse is actually pushing them away.

Key Points Discussed:

• Why trying to be your spouse's Holy Spirit is destroying your connection—and what to do instead
• The controversial truth about putting your kids before your marriage (and why it backfires)
• How shared adventures and new experiences create real intimacy—backed by research
• Why becoming a Christian doesn't flip a switch on your marriage problems
• The power of community, accountability, and actually taking the counsel you're given
• What blended families need to understand about timelines and unrealistic expectations

Bible Verses Referenced:

• Philippians 2:3–4 — Consider others above yourself
• Proverbs 27:17 — Iron sharpens iron
• Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 — Two are better than one
• Ephesians 5:25 — Husbands, love your wives.

💬 What's one thing you've been trying to "fix" in your spouse that you might need to hand over to God? Drop it in the comments.

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