12 Strategies To Manage Rejection

Do you struggle with rejection?

How does your response vary from the boardroom to the bedroom?

Do layers of your identity affect how you deal with rejection?

We surveyed our community regarding their experiences of rejection, and we shared their insights in this week’s episode. We think it’s a great one! Thank you to those who sent messages. We appreciate you.

Check out the 12 insights on managing rejection below, as well as the full transcript (scroll down).

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If you’re looking for an episode on sexual initiation techniques, click here.

Check out the 12 insights on managing rejection below, as well as the full transcript (scroll down).

12 (+ 1 bonus) Insights on Rejection from Our Community

(Some of these have been edited for clarity/brevity.)

Why can women say no to sex, but when a guy says no, it’s crazy?

For me, it’s all about connection. When I get rejected over and over again, it brings up feelings of unlovability, unworthiness, being unimportant, etc. I’m working through some of that, but I also think it’s normal; in a monogamous sexual relationship. Taking care of myself doesn’t provide an emotional connection, and it can even hinder connection when it’s all I’m left with.

Rejection is just God’s Protection (it’s supposed to rhyme).Yes. Can we re-frame rejection to be something that safeguards us against things that aren’t good for us? Didn’t get that job because you didn’t click with the hiring team, maybe, you wouldn’t have liked working with them anyway? You approached someone to make a new connection, and they were aloof, maybe that’s not the energy you need in your life? 

Don’t take it as a negative. Don’t take it personally. People have many different preferences. It’s not about you.

Accept rejection. Don’t let it turn into dejection. For me, it’s about not personalizing it. My GF isn’t in the mood? Cool. It has nothing to do with me. And honestly, I don’t feel like it’s my job to get her in the mood. Sometimes I will, but if she knows what she has to do to get herself in the mood too. She likes sex as much as I do. I know that for sure. So if she is working too much, or going out too much and feeling tired or not doing the things that facilitate her mood, it’s not about me. But this only applies since we started talking about sex. 10 years ago, I know she said no because the sex wasn’t so good for her. Now that I know what she likes. Now that we’ve both learned to be better lovers, we don’t personalize things as much. So I guess it begins with making sure the sex is good and learning to be an open, caring, attentive lover. And then you don’t personalize it when they say no.

Everything changed for me when I finally talked to my wife about the all one-sided initiation. I was in your workshop in _______. You said that we need to share initiation because when one person does all the sexual initiation, they’re the only one who has to deal with sexual rejection. The other is often avoidant. So when my wife and I finally had that conversation, and we both agreed that we should both initiate, I learned that sometimes I’m not in the mood when she’s in...