We're Not Marketers

Strategy over fluffy jargon w/ Crystal Crouch


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Crystal Crouch turned driving the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile into a product marketing empire - and she's not keeping the secrets. The woman who put Zach on the consulting path drops truth bombs about why 90% of company data is garbage, why product management is harder than PMM (fight us), and how being hyper-organized means her 9-year-old has never eaten a frozen chicken nugget.


If you've ever wondered whether to charge hourly or by project, or why your messaging doc is just an expensive PDF no one reads, this episode will either inspire you to level up or quit entirely. Either way, you win.

More from this episode...

  • Product marketers are demand translators, not demand creators (and why that matters)

  • The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile taught Crystal crisis management at 19

  • Why product management is 10x harder than PMM (Crystal said it, not us)

  • 90% of company data is dirty - and that's being generous

  • The one question that determines if you should take a consulting client

  • Why Crystal's kids live by the Pomodoro method (and only have one TV)

  • How to use silence to negotiate like a pro (hint: treat yourself like a product)

  • The real reason your messaging docs are expensive paperweights

  • Why you should NEVER offer free consulting work (but acts of service are different)

  • Crystal's secret: "Happiness is a choice" - even when clients are a nightmare

Show Notes
00:59 Introducing Crystal Crouch: The PMM Who Changed Zach's Life

02:36 Are Product Marketers Actually Marketers? The Demand Translation Theory

05:00 Why Product Management is 10x Harder Than PMM

08:00 The Real Definition of GTM (Spoiler: You're Probably Wrong)

12:00 Crystal's Journey to Consulting: From Church to Clients

15:30 Three Lessons for Consultant Success

17:00 The Truth About Free Work and Acts of Service

19:00 How Crystal Balances It All: Pomodoro Method & One TV

23:00 Living by the Calendar: The Secret to Work-Life Balance

26:00 Negotiation Masterclass: Treat Yourself Like Product Pricing

29:00 Why 90% of Company Data is Garbage

31:00 The ROI Question: How to Handle It Like a Pro

33:00 Automatic Client Red Flags

36:00 Fixing Broken Data Without Doing It Yourself

40:00 Building Confidence: Stop Competing With Others

44:00 The Power of Kindness in Business

47:00 Why Every PMM Needs Sales Training

48:50 Happiness is a Choice: Crystal's Final Wisdom



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We're Not MarketersBy Gabriel Bujold, Eric Holland, Zach Roberts

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